I've called in sick today
Real Life tm has got on top of me. I've fucking had enough. How are you?

When was the last time you were a whining bitch?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:13, 140 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

tm?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:20, Reply)

Real Life tm is a quote from when Frank flounced off his own message board

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:22, Reply)

I'm ashamed to say I know that the quote originates from Red Dwarf. Frank stole it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:27, Reply)

oh dear all round

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:31, Reply)

About ten minutes ago, when I saw an email from my wife's solicitor :(

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:22, Reply)

You saw the date and realised you'd probably missed out on a share of an African general's fortune?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:23, Reply)

ain't life grand?
Clue: is it bollocks
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:23, Reply)

Bitch still be trippin'?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:25, Reply)

Fuck this, Imma have a shit and go to work.
Probably in that order.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:23, Reply)

Surely the other way round?
Toilet time in working hours is one of life's little bonuses.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:48, Reply)

Or a big bonus. Depends how much you've eaten.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:50, Reply)

Come on man, I've got real (not real) problems and I'm still working.
Having said that, I'm a whining bitch everyday because of my b3ta trademarked 'crippling depression'.
Hopefully we can have another day of semi-serious not boring political threads. Please! PLEASE!
wish I'd called in sick
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:38, Reply)

You're a doctor,
just write yourself a sick note.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)

If only it were that easy eh?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)

You might as well go back to bed.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:45, Reply)

Lets just hope your boss doesn't come on here.
Yo ass'll be toast bro.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:46, Reply)

Nice one Mr Ignorant.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23851982
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 7:57, Reply)

I have to go in.
I could lie to the boss but I wouldn't believe me.
What's with fog in August? It's not fucking Newfoundland is it?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:00, Reply)

On and off for the last three weeks.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:05, Reply)

How did the wedding go?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)

I got drunk and told her to fuck off.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:16, Reply)

\o/
The behaviour of a champion. Top work.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:17, Reply)

Smooth....

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)

I'm very proud of myself.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)

I'm proud of you too. I've even changed my sig.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:19, Reply)

Now the thing to do
Is to fuck her sister... It means you get full closure
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:22, Reply)

Failing this,
her brother or a family pet.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:24, Reply)

No sister, seven brothers.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:25, Reply)

The corn is as high as an elephant's eye.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:30, Reply)

How tall are they?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:38, Reply)

See advice above

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:02, Reply)

I think this was the correct thing to do. Treat 'em mean and all that.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:19, Reply)

Alright today, thanks
Yesterday I was a right girl, so hungover I just wanted to cry.

Going to reduce the drinking for a bit, saves money, and stops crippling hangovers.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:22, Reply)

hangovers Asperger's


Edit... well this is clearly not working
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:23, Reply)

Alright AA.
Where'd you go Monday?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:23, Reply)

Lazy day, had a small BBQ and a few beers at home
Then a few more, then a few more, then 'some' vodka, etc.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:25, Reply)

Are you upset because it's the anniversary of Martin Luther Kings speech?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:25, Reply)

Badger cull. I reckon it's the badger cull.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:31, Reply)

I'm fucking great!
This weekend when I broke my bike. At least wife says I can get a new one
( Peej, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:40, Reply)

You've only had it 5 minutes.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:41, Reply)

3 years

( Peej, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:46, Reply)

but what about the bike?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:47, Reply)

It was a Lego one

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)

The lego one is fine
Its my daily commuter I killed.
( Peej, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:17, Reply)

What type of bike was it?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Specialized Allez

( Peej, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)

Fucking French cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Worse, they're American

( Peej, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)

but what about the bike?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)

What happened to your bike?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Snapped crank and bent chainrings
It was a bit ouch. Repairable though
( Peej, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Ooo, how on earth did you do that?
Kerb?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Cornish hedge

( Peej, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

Thats the strip club in Bodmin right ?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Thats the one

( Peej, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)

She punched him in the cock
after his disrespecting her online innit
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

I like your sig

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:41, Reply)

Any plans for your surprise bonus holiday?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 8:50, Reply)

You lazy fucking wanker, man the fuck up
I’m painting the hallway and landing, do you see me moaning and skiving, No….no you don’t
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)

^ I can ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:07, Reply)

What a wanker eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Proper upset online, I think

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:09, Reply)

:o

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Lots of work/house/family things are starting to come to a head so I'd imagine probably next week when my boss gets back
I'm fucking knackered this morning - Calf2 decided that 4:50am was time to get up and I'd only enough coffee for one cup :o(
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Young children + a lack of coffee = piss poor planning.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:10, Reply)

this ^
:o(

Asda delivery of lovely coffee coming today at 2pm. FAIL
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Not so much help now Sporters
But this is well good https://www.pactcoffee.com/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:23, Reply)

If it helps
I have a lovely pot of Blue Mountain coffee brewing away at the side of my desk.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

WE HAVE COFFEE AGAIN
DefCon 3 resumed
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

praise be to Allah

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

INFILTRATIONDEL

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

I think I'm the only one here who actually hopes you're ok.
I keep missing your replies. Your bike is nearly finished, waiting on a back brake. Will be done by this weekend and we can wheel it over for a test ride?

Also, wing me some dates for Eritrean. Cunt.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:14, Reply)

I also hope he's ok, but I like to appear distant online.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Well MK is fucking miles away from anywhere good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Only in England could you get sunburnt on Monday and frostbite on tuesday
I am not a whining bitch, but made the mistake of taking 3 small children into town by myself yesterday, for lunch and a present each (one birthday, 2 tiny ones so the others didn't feel left out). That produced some whining. After what felt like 5 hours of political wrangling over the Argos catalogue (you're 5, that's for BABIES, are you a BABY?), we came home with:

- one walking, barking dog (fucking Argos put a horsie in the pic, but the doggie came out instead, cue sobs)
- one laser spy set with night vision goggles
- one triple pack of barbie dolls
- 3 personalised t-shirts
- one ulcer, ten heart palpitations and an overdraft

Oh well, today I am taking them for a long walk along the cliff top. A fin
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

You'll be getting broody Swipey.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

But what did you buy for the kids?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

The spy set sounds pretty good.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Wish I'd done that
A little too much Rioja last night. It is only through the grace of coffee that I am functioning at all.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Terrible bullying of Sporty here

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

COFFEE WOES

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

:)
Also I have had a sausage sandwich and am now feeling like I might just make it to lunchtime.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

If only you'd had the sandwich last night eh?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Right fuck you lot
I'm getting back to my painting
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Self portrait? Landscape?
Probably something abstract.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:42, Reply)

finger painting the sunshine bus

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

From the inside.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Is this the worst mash up ever?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=82LCKBdjywQ
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

I'm in bed, I'm grand.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:42, Reply)

The other week when I had head aids.
I hope you feel better soon, you massive bumder.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

haids
Mornin'
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

I feel like a bit of a whine right now.
Bloody work internet isn't working, so I'm waiting for Kroney or Lokesy or one of their other nerds to come in and fix it.
I'm having to skive on my phone in the meantime.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Wirelessyurtwoes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Emma Watson is a bit bloody lovely isn't she

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Yes.

( Kroney, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

She was underage before she grew up you massive paedo!

( Peej, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)

It's ok I'm pretending I'm a 15 year old boy

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

I'm she's
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)

pretending I'm grooming
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

I like this

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

OK "Jimmeh"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:09, Reply)

She looks far too fucking smug for me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

That's why I like her.

( Kroney, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

I watched a bit of whatever Harry Potter film was on ITV on Saturday
The ginger cunt needs punching
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

I like her croissant face

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)

She's no Emma Stone

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Thank god, Stone has a serious case of cat-face.
Plus she's a smelly ranga in the only film I've seen her in.
( Kroney, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:16, Reply)

I'm pretty good, Boyce.
It's not actually raining today, but I'm off early this afternoon, so I'll pour a watering can over your head whilst you stand by the bus stop, if you like?
( Kroney, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

When are you going to make my internet work?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Shortly after I get Nakers' router working.
So just the other side of "never".
( Kroney, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

I bought a wireless extender which stops my VPN from working
1st World Problems
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Signal drop between access point and router, I suppose?

( Kroney, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

I think its blocking ports
Internet works, just not vpn. I had to dick about with my Virgin box to get vpn working in the first place.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

hur hur

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)

S'alright, one of your mates is here now.
He appears to have brought a teenage boy with him. Is that standard practice?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

We all work like that hacker guy in Swordfish.
I'm guessing your man there just has certain preferences.
( Kroney, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

I do need MOAR monitors though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Like the UN in Syria right
liddlebitopoltics
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:14, Reply)

*mustard gases*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:18, Reply)