What is this? Shit thread day?
Well far be if for me not jump on a bandwagon. Speaking of which when was the last time YOU jumped on or off of a moving vehicle?

Is that the kind of level of shit dullness we're aiming for today you fucks?

You want an Alt. Well you aint fucking getting one cos I've got a sore head and just reading the first two letters of your pathetic usernames makes me want to fucking puke and smash my face into the puke stained carpet repeatedly until I get fucking brain damamge and hopefully forget I ever signed up for this fucking place.

Alt: When did you last make a cayke? Was it nyommy?

Altalt: Call someone a cunt or something.

EDIT: someone Mince
EDIT 2: Mince Windy Pig

Altaltalt: Outside of dangling a piece of string in front of him or playing some extreme 'peek-a-boo' how would you keep all round flid and knob-jockey 'Windy Pig, y'know, from the internet' entertained? I'd start by cunting him in the fuck.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:43, 120 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Wow, three super-shit threads in a row.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:44, Reply)

what a CUNT

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:45, Reply)

Ambassador, with these shit threads you are spoiling us.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:46, Reply)

The usernames outside looked from pig thread to shit thread, and from shit thread to pig thread, and from pig thread to shit thread again; but already it was impossible to say which was which
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Every day here is Shit Thread Day.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:54, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1924645
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:55, Reply)

It's no textgate either,
Fornicator!
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Heh heh

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:06, Reply)

:o well really

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:07, Reply)

YOU OWN THAT MEME NOW!

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:09, Reply)

It Seems that way doesn't it :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Feel proud you have your own meme.
*manly handshakes*
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:20, Reply)

I'm still laughing at the Gaz you sent me
Just how drunk was you at the time?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Wimmin make cakes.
Men hunt for meat, and defend the cave.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Wimmin make cakes.
Men hunt for meat, and defend the cave.
I live alone, surviving on Pot Noodles and takeaways.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:59, Reply)

^Wrong Dr.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Doctorate lols.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:03, Reply)

Medical mirth

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:05, Reply)

HAPPY SHIT THREAD DAY EVERYONE!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:58, Reply)

Well this is going well

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:07, Reply)

I need a shit

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:09, Reply)

+thread

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Jesus Christ Reg, I'm unemployed as of today and I was counting on you lot keeping me vaguely entertained between begging phone calls from work and awkward calls to the mortgage people,
And this is it. This is what you've got.
If anyone is getting called a cunt today, it's you my man. You. Are a cunt.

Morning.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Yeah Reg has really let everyone down hasn't he?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:11, Reply)

I miss Quentin
He would never have stooped so low.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:12, Reply)

This Reg joker hasn't got the stones.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:13, Reply)

I reckon we all put a vote together, approach Rob and have him banned.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:15, Reply)

ann umm
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

You just can't stay faithful can you?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Hahahahaha.
He's like a bender on heat!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Alright Stunned.
Lend me 50 quid.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:18, Reply)

OK, mate.
Pay day Friday. Gaz me your bank details.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:24, Reply)

You're a gent.
I'm probably going to spend it on a Dominos and a multipack of special brew though.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:41, Reply)

You should invest it all in scratchcards.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Quite right too.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Private lash up yesterday?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:17, Reply)

A lash up for money, any old music will do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Well I think this is very good. ^

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Celebrity customer of the day: that utter spastic Sally Bercow.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Ha, she's a proper stupid fucking cunt.
Spit on her order.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:19, Reply)

I've a mind to enclose a free of charge splattery shit in her parcel.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Oh dear.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:24, Reply)

A new low.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:25, Reply)

I'd bang it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:26, Reply)

Renowned, as you are for your discerning taste in women

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Oh, yes.
And Louise Mensch.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:35, Reply)

She's good looking, but she is *such* a prick this is actually an irrelevance.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:36, Reply)

Vile woman.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:36, Reply)

Louise Mensch would definitely get it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:37, Reply)

I'd like to conserve her tits.
if you know what i mean.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:42, Reply)

I think so
You'd like to perform a mastectomy on her and then keep her tits in a jar of formaldehyde?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:45, Reply)

well, not quite, but that's actually better than what I was thinking.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I wouldn't mind getting in her ministerial red box.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)

ewww, that's gross,
any woman on a period ought to just stay locked in the bathroom until it's al over.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Beggars can't be choosers.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Did she buy something to put some amplification equipment on?
A speaker for the house as it were.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:32, Reply)

^this is good.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Was it a new vibrator?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:40, Reply)

haha Brilliant
metro.co.uk/2013/09/07/sava-italiano-restaurant-closing-down-sign-insults-entire-city-3953430/
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:20, Reply)

The Metro does seem to get amusing shit.
Then again, their news content is shite.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:27, Reply)

I tend to look at that for the Weird bit, the BBC for current news
and the independent for it's life and style section
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:34, Reply)

+ and OKCupid for a bit of skirt

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:35, Reply)

sure why not

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:35, Reply)

And The Sun
For its Dear Deidre page and advice on your tangled love life
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:35, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2078368
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:36, Reply)

I cant wait for the day that I get my own meme

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Hey I never let him shag me!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Oral does count as sex
Clinton tried that line
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:44, Reply)

And the Mail,
To guide me on my political journey.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:39, Reply)

... 3 or 4 days after everyone else

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:39, Reply)

altaltalt: Yes!!! FAQ-style 'b3ta swearing'!!!
Fucks sake Reg what is wrong with you?

Or should I say 'cunt the shit off you...you bollock gazelle'!!!! Hahaha!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:35, Reply)

You TB-ridden sheep's vulva!!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:36, Reply)

I'm everything that's wrong with this place Mince
and I've got the stones to admit it.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:36, Reply)

You used to be cool, man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:39, Reply)

With hindsight, I think he peaked with 'Dave Glover'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:41, Reply)

That wasn't me was it?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Dunno

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I think poopy snail is better.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:37, Reply)

I agree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Also, none of you cunts are making any effort so why the fuck should I?
Do you really think there's any high ground to take around here? It's the Norfolk of the internet. and you're the fucken twelve-toed mayor.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:41, Reply)

^poopy snail^

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:42, Reply)

NOW I OWN IT SHITPANTS!

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Upset^^^^

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:54, Reply)

You're darn tootin' I'm upset socalled 'Amorous Badgler'
imma emotionally invested in this site and shit, there are crazy and heady days ahead: 'bashes' in 'the smoke', ballon hats and Mince making merry with his hoover snout. This place is my fucken lifeblood man! the glimmer of hope on the horizon for a better future, a brighter day! You may not care about such things, being all flippant anf fucken 'glib' and shit, but I DO. Plans are afoot and your fucken world is gonna be rocked.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:08, Reply)

There are more words there than what people are going to read.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:23, Reply)

alt: never made a cake
that's girl cooking. Real men make brown stuff with meat in and add seasoning to make it a curry/chili/casserole.

Or steak.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:36, Reply)

Bread, meat, good.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:41, Reply)

NO BUTTER

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Butter is allowed on toast, otherwisr never.
Margarine, Brando had the right idea.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)

NO SPREAD EVAH

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Diagnosis M for Murder.
Toast and butter is nice.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Only when completely melted.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:03, Reply)

+ roast potatoes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:42, Reply)

I bet they look like footballs to you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Haha, iss he little?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Smaller than SuperMatt's stones.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:15, Reply)

I'd offer him a game of darts.
Played for the first time in years the other night, and didn't come last. It's thersputic, chucking missiles.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:46, Reply)

At this rate I can see me actually doing some work today.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)

^Pee Pee Shark^

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:03, Reply)

^Willy Tiger^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:04, Reply)

^sphincter Goitered gazelle^

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:10, Reply)

^Acrochordonal Axolotl

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:16, Reply)

tee hee

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:06, Reply)

^^bogey sloth^^

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
/etc

Good morning all. I have spent the weekend upgrade deep in YM. I have also attended a 90 year old's birthday party
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:03, Reply)

you're alright, i'm here now

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:04, Reply)

I'm reading that as two separate statements.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:05, Reply)

this is where grammar lets us all down

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:06, Reply)

It's for your own good. Otherwise I'd have to call you a liar.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:07, Reply)

i see you were flirting again over the weekend
dr tadpole alert
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:09, Reply)

Yeah yeah.
Spy
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:11, Reply)

i can sniff out gossip from 100 miles

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:12, Reply)

I thought it was only women who were actually *born* as as women that could do that.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:14, Reply)

i forgot you thought i was a tranny
we're even better. our shrivelled penises make for cracking antennae.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Are you not?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:17, Reply)

not to the best of my knowledge
assuming my parents didn't lie to me and have it whipped off shortly after birth
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:18, Reply)

Oh.
Someone pointed me in the direction of a photo of you, and I assumed from your 'look' that you were post-op.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:19, Reply)

you have no idea what i look like, you internet rogue

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Tubby Ginger Ladyboy?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:23, Reply)

It does rather sound as though you have seen a pic of swipe

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)

anyone can make a lucky guess

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:25, Reply)

I'm sure you're lovely really.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Your grandma lets us all in

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:15, Reply)

to her grave?
you'd be better with my dad's mum, as we cremated the other one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Morning
Managed to travel on the tube without completely fucking up, which was nice. Even managed to have my ticket out before reaching the barrier, as I'm aware some of you get incredibly angry about people stopping in front of them to rummage.

Also, pained as I am to admit it, Swipe was correct about some food. My friends and I popped into EAT on Friday night, and the soup was fucking excellent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:09, Reply)

yes!!
although the cunts seem to have stopped doing the best one, the chunky minestrone with pasta and pesto. careless bastards.

there is one at the trafford centre, apparently.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Manchester slag!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:15, Reply)

you say this like it's news

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:15, Reply)

There's one in the Arndale Centre too, I think

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)

NEW THREAD.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:22, Reply)