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(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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haiku timeThe penniless man
Saviour from estate agent
MOAR wine and coke please
Use your poetry heads and tell a haunting tale of another b3tan
Alt:
Lunch woes
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:44,
227 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
..His name changes much
But no one knows what for
Same old bent spastic
(, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)
i'm just buying some new shoe lacesI am certain I have the correct lenght btw
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:50,
Reply)
then bow before me pitiful ham handed human(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:54,
Reply)
nah, 70cm straight up1 pair burgundy
1 pair brown
1 pair blue
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
if you could see without a half inch of glass in front of your eyes then you'd realise that you are incorrect(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:06,
Reply)
One pair burgundyBrown and blue, one pair of each
Seventy see em
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
I aint got no time to rhymealt: a bacon and cheese baguette with mustard and brown sauce, no woes at all
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
Alt: No-one has delivered my fucking lunch.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
Are you The Thing Upstairs?(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
haha i used to LOVE that as a kidBERK, proudly erecting a shelf: i'm D-I-M
BONEY: dim, yes, very true.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:55,
Reply)
more like cousin IT(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:55,
Reply)
I'm the thing who was promised some fucking lunch fucking ages ago.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
ONE pair of footwear.Why would I need more than one?
Only have two feet
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
Poor old Hartley Hare
Lost his job but fucked his Ex
Smashed in her back doors.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
don't wind him up when he's up on blcoks(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
This 'Bomber Harris' character is much funnier than that bent spazzer Nakers who used to hang around here.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:52,
Reply)
I loved Badmons Dukaz, he was well good (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:55,
Reply)
yep I have been:Naked Ape
Badmon Dukaz
Bill Paxton
The Baby Jesus
Ben Fogle
Bomber Harris
Battered's ex wife
Edit:
Baked Ape (which came from a typo)
and probably some others that i've forgotton
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
b meaning BENT SPASTIC?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
I have seen all these names in use at one point or another, such is my lurking prowess.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
I almost feel like this is a get out of jail card(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:54,
Reply)
Well it dosen't really I think I will stick to my boring marriage, and occasionally make out with the palmer sisters whilst thinking about an all you can eat buffet
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
+ WET(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:06,
Reply)
I had a fantastically delicious lunch. While pedestrian (a chicken wrap), the quality of the ingredients meant it was fucking NOM.If I'd the knack
I'd like to sing;
Like chainsaws killing kittens.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
soz m8 i just don't 'get' haikusi had fish & chips yesterday where the fish was drier than YMs minge and as cack-handedly embalmed in batter as YMIL at a necrophiliacs anonymous meeting
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
You need to buy MM a drink first(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
Stop bullying AAyou rotter
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
s'alright, hes got another five days kip left yet(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
Rip Van Winklelolz(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:09,
Reply)
brunette not ginger
hotly protested and true
but falls on deaf ears
alt: went to gina d'acampo's pasta bar, had some pasta with spicy arabiattia sauce
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
hey, they don't give away those masters in creative writing, you knowyou have to pay them a fuckload of money and then you pass
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
ha, as ifi had to spunk up that bad bitch myself
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
^EGGWRONGER^(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:10,
Reply)
Lunch was fucking greatPork pies chips beans and gravy
Now I'm bastard stuffed.
I had ketchup too but it didn' t scan innit.
(, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Pork pie and chips?Pork pie should be eaten with cheese, pickled onions and pickles
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:02,
Reply)
I don't have two hatsit's an elaborate ruse
to make me look cool
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:02,
Reply)
hahahahahaaaaThanks for voting for reply 2101991!
Close Window
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:21,
Reply)
that said Mr Hats a second agowhats going on here?
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
I've got to go out now, I'll post it another day(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:44,
Reply)
well this is the post disapointing thing to happen this week(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:45,
Reply)
god, i am so stupidi always thought it was a wordplay to sound like "twats".
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
I think he's saying your lips flap about in a breeze(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:09,
Reply)
I didn't say itYour mingegaz confirms it
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:14,
Reply)
like i'm technical enough to send a mingegazyou've been wet-dreaming again!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:14,
Reply)
Why would you put him through that?I mean cruel is cruel, but that's horrific
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:16,
Reply)
hahahaha!Thanks for that, I've now got the whole office wondering why I'm laughing at my pc
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:22,
Reply)
it's alright, they probably think you're a bit special anyway...HUMPH!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:23,
Reply)
Trapped in denialConvinced her hair is brunette
Typical ranga
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Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
grovel under desks
the white plug of surrender
french IT monkey
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:04,
Reply)
which means you can't change jobs EVERbecause "copywriter" doesn't fit.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:04,
Reply)
Thirty metres long
Twenty seven metres left
My life, fucking shit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:06,
Reply)
i thought you were talking about battered's bowels again(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:07,
Reply)
I've never talked about his bowels(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:08,
Reply)
Twenty years forwardA stone-footed half golem
lies. He's crystalised.
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Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:06,
Reply)
Wait have I got this right?www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI851yJUQQw
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:07,
Reply)
Your ankles to stumps
The drinking uncontrolled leaves
him shorter than Batts
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:08,
Reply)
Suspect choice in menAttracts the weirdest fellas
and she shagged chompy
(, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:08, Reply)
Thats better*awaits titgaz for hat-trick*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:23,
Reply)
Time will never end
Stretch towards infinity
Where's my fucking lunch?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:10,
Reply)
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:11,
Reply)
Fuck now I have this as an earwormpumpkin belly
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnT2P1CmORw
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:14,
Reply)
i think there is something wrong with your brain(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:15,
Reply)
I think you should play hop scotch on the M1(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:17,
Reply)
Prick(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:18,
Reply)
oh well, if all the cool kids are doing itthere once was a hip
pee from 'the smoke' whose hoo
ver snout had tagnuts
still dont fucken get it
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:17,
Reply)
I am fucking great
Really, i am fucking great
but shit at haikus
(
Peej, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:18,
Reply)
yer, it stinks(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
we had to do a poetry workshop class as part of our gen studs a-levelmy friend sam HATED it. she lasted one lesson, skived the rest, earned herself a month of detention when they found out. the one lesson she did attend, she produced the following crap and inaccurate gem:
hi, my name is sam.
i have a brother.
and a sister too.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
I GET THIS ^(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:24,
Reply)
You had detentions at A-level?Jesus, we were told "You're adults now, you don't turn up, you fail, your fault"
(
Peej, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:46,
Reply)
Hiyaaaaaa!Question Of The Week
Poses many furrowed brow
Unless you are a Vagabond
Cheers
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:18,
Reply)
Lunch woes is fruit again.STILL NO THINNER!!!!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:18,
Reply)
^ Fat bastard ^(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:19,
Reply)
^ fatty ^(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:27,
Reply)
I always imgine you like Glenn from the great British Bake off(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:28,
Reply)
www.radiotimes.com/uploads/images/original/36101.jpg
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:31,
Reply)
Thiswww.youtube.com/watch?v=0-9qZ4Zs6Ys
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
URRRRRGHHI would have had lypo years ago had I ballooned to that size.
Im not that fuckin old either
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:44,
Reply)
That bloke looks like someone inflated DG(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:44,
Reply)
Don't worry about him Jay he's just trying to get in your oversized pants
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:46,
Reply)
AwrightBusy bloody morning again.
getting there though
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:25,
Reply)
I was going to take this afternoon offbut too much work :o(
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:26,
Reply)
Much too much www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxHcx7FO8nI
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:29,
Reply)
I've not been young for many a year(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
go cry in a cup >:((
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:34,
Reply)
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:44,
Reply)
Fuck off you fat ginge
Doctor frog has got his lunch
And it's fucking lush
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:18,
Reply)
his counting is a bit off though5. 7. 5.
not 6. 7.5.
is this because you have counted on your fliddy inbred 6 fingered kent hands?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:19,
Reply)
I bet you would love his 6 fingered hands (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:20,
Reply)
stop judging me by the standards of your hungry arsehole(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:21,
Reply)
Be careful she may try it on with you(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:29,
Reply)
not something you need to worry about, on the other hand...(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:31,
Reply)
BEADLESLOLZ(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:31,
Reply)
I might have a wankthen spunk into a tissue
then eat the tissue
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
wtf is an echo directory?and why does mine never have enough space in it??
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
?Is this something that is happening on your PC?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:33,
Reply)
Leave Chompy out of this(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:35,
Reply)
of coursewhat did you think i meant, my cavernous echoing vag?!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:36,
Reply)
It means someone in IT cant write scripts properlyWhat else does it say on the screen?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:37,
Reply)
ON THE SCREEN ....The SCreen...Creen. een en n(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:39,
Reply)
THAT'S ALL I SEE BEFORE I LOSE PATIENCE AND CLOSE IT(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:39,
Reply)
Be like throwing a sausage down an ally way....just saying(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:42,
Reply)
I used the "Dolphin" on YM last nightHalfway through I Flipper over
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:38,
Reply)
The smell of stale macreal and smoked kippersnot forgetting whale blubber will haunt you for the rest of your life, no amount of carbolic soap and scrubbing brushes will remove that
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:41,
Reply)
Stale Mcreal was in Die Hard, right?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:42,
Reply)
DYE HARD for the gingers !!!!111\o/111!!!!!
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:44,
Reply)
I hope all the dolphins remembered to use the IOS7 update that waterproofed iPhones.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:46,
Reply)
I need a lie down
Far too much breakfast and lunch
Two baguettes today
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:37,
Reply)
Never mind all that shit.Look at the caption/picture in this article.
www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Goat-sex-man-banned-farm-UK-jailed/story-19787835-detail/story.html
Any of you pricks from Exeter?
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:37,
Reply)
I've been thereDoes that help?
I'm in GLASGAY soon - any b3tans up there?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:39,
Reply)
I'm not sure if goerdiejays partner would approve(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:43,
Reply)
No. There's naught but pasty faced greggs zombiesAnd Reverend Fister.
Although Edinburgh is fuck all distance away.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:47,
Reply)
I'm on a one-man mission to bum my way through b3ta.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:50,
Reply)
Came through Paisley on my way back from the highlands.I am assuming that is representative of Glasgow as a whole. Or as a hole, as the case undoubtedly is.
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Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:51,
Reply)
everything has gone fucking massive and zoomed in on my screen!!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:53,
Reply)
How does it look next to your banjolele?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:59,
Reply)
I don't fucking knowHaiku are a waste of time
Start a new thread please
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:54,
Reply)
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