so its 10 days till midnight baysh, 10 days till i join the inner circle
im flecken excited man, i really look up to you counts and yer secret handshakes and balloon hats so i cant wait, this ent no 1p ghost this is the real deal. when did you lat feel that you 'made it'?

alt: whne its foggy are your first thoughts..."flecken hell, driving will be a MOTHER!" or..."mwa-ha-ha I can get up to all sorts of shizz in this PEA-SUPER!" ??

altalt: I recently found out some bayta knowledge that was "old news" but to what i was not privvy till now. Are youy always the last to know?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 9:50, 130 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I feel like I'm "the guy to ask" in work, if that counts
Alt:
Living by the sea now, I'm shocked at how fucking foggy it can get

AltAlt:
Gossip normally passes me by
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 9:53, Reply)

im welll flucken land locked and this peasuper ent going nowehere fast
i carnt help but think you ent dun the baysh equiverlent of "made your bones" or summat sports
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 9:57, Reply)

I missed last bash this made me do sads.
Fog, not arsed.
B3TA gossip doesn't really interest me unless I' ve actually met them. Unless it's well juicy and involves breasts.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:00, Reply)

well come to the baysh on the 26th to make up for it
me and Mince and 'Bill Clay' and probs no-one else would love to see you there
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:11, Reply)

If you're really going I will go too, we can have fish and chips or Maccy D's first though.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:22, Reply)

I am really goen, whi is evry flucker questionen this?
i don trust fish and chips in the smoke but id prefer burger king to maccy ds
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)

wot woz teh gossips?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:02, Reply)

i don wanna upset baytans that come here for an escape or summat
crossovers happen but this should be a place of fun and joy
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:10, Reply)

alt: I do like the fog in that London, cos it's a bit Ripper-esque which I quite like.
altalt: I secretively gather snippets of information and keep my ear to the ground, I always know whats going on because I am nosy and sneaky.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:03, Reply)

So who's porking who then Frogface? WE NEED TO KNOW THIS IS IN CAPITALS RIGHT.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:07, Reply)

bit mean to talk to him about sex
when you know he's recently dumped and his cock doesn't work any more.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:13, Reply)

Why is it not working? Didn' t you suggest Viagra for your first magicla night together?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:21, Reply)

don't ask me, ask him
oi frog. why isn't your cock working?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Dunno, I think my 'meme' is that the SSRI pills i don't take anymore make your knob fall off or suttin'
*shrugs*
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:25, Reply)

you started it
you should know why your own cock doesn't work and is as floppy as reg's contact lenses ffs, man.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:29, Reply)

Oh well in that case, it's because of the anti depressants I take loads of because I got dumped and I cry all the time.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:31, Reply)

that doesn't sound like much fun
go out and find some BETTER flange, flangehound
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Nah, they're all 'orrible cunts

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:37, Reply)

then you're doomed to a lifetime of jamming your 5 and a quarter floppy into the wrong hard drive!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Ah that's fine. I'm fed up with women anyway.
They 'delicate' wash your 'hand wash only' jumpers and stuff, and think it's acceptable. I can't be doing with it.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:42, Reply)

WASH YOUR OWN FUCKING JUMPERS IN THE TOILET THEN!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)

Why in the toilet? Yourn weird.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:57, Reply)

To get the shit off the chest, probably.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:01, Reply)

why in folkestone?
YOURN WEIRD.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:01, Reply)

It's where I live? Yeah? Like your half flat in Barnet or summink.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)

i do not live with rory

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Of course not, that's just where you spend a few nights a week innit.
There, or where he is 'normally' living in Islington at the moment.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:08, Reply)

shudder
when i want aids, i'll go and jam a dirty needle in my arm, ta.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:10, Reply)

You'll be thankful of Folkestone if you need to find a filthy skaggy needle.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)

the thing is, i don't really want aids
which is why i'm not really shagging rory.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)

CHINNY RECKON

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Is it me (is it me) is it you??
D'ya think we could change if we knew?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:13, Reply)

DUNNO ON HERE COS NO ONE INCLUDES ME IN ALL YOUR SECRET CLIQUES

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:20, Reply)

HANDSHAKES. BAYSH, 26TH. MAKE IT COUNT YOU COUNT

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:21, Reply)

where did rory go
does he not want his commitments review??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:12, Reply)

i donna, i ent a flucken leash

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:13, Reply)

Big fat cocks

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:18, Reply)

i could really do with a distraction from work today
if theres any way i can get you counts to play ball with this cenario then fllucken let me know alright.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Imma get me some new eye glasses today, Reg
Can you imagine anything as exciting as new spectacles, because I can't!!!
( Kroney, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:24, Reply)

i dunno joe my eyesites always between 50/50
i tried some coloured contacts the other day and i dint realise that contacts were all floppy! i thought they were little glass discs
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:26, Reply)

I thought mine was until I suddenly noticed it wasn't.
I dunno about contacts, I don't wear them. Since I have an astigmatism, I could theoretically have justification to wear a monocle. How about them apples?
( Kroney, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:28, Reply)

I bought a nail brush and a tinopener from Wilkinsons the other day.
That was pretty rock and roll.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:30, Reply)

What is it with that place? Woolies close and suddenly Wilkinsons is everywhere
It seems pretty anti-British to me. I don't like it.
( Kroney, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Jt's good for stuff you need and can't be arsed to shop around for.
Potting compost, kitchen and bathrom shit, paint. Mr fucking domesticated here.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:39, Reply)

and what's the deal with airplane food?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:48, Reply)

I like the trays.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Dunno, what do you normally feed an aeroplane?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)

It's been foggy in the mornings a few times recently round my way.
It makes it all Jack The Ripper on my morning run, and considering at one point I cross quite a large car park, it can be quite spooky and cool.

Altalt: Jimmy Savil was a paedo - who knew?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Stop copying my Ripper shit, man, I'm trying to get along here.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:26, Reply)

yeh but he denied it, so guilty till proved innocent yeah
the witness has rights. or summat. is that the right way round?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:28, Reply)

I like driving in proper fog.

( Kroney, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:26, Reply)

The weirdest one is that fog that rolls off the fields
and on to the road, but only goes up three or four feet, so the ground is all foggy, but you can still see things in the distance. Like dry ice.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:36, Reply)

idiots using 'formally' instead of 'formerly' really rather get my goat.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:27, Reply)

i have a really clever friend
who always always always puts "mind due" instead of "mind you". drives me crackers.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:29, Reply)

also, prats that think 'as' is an abbreviation of 'has'.
Has you may be aware, etc.

Also, is spelling 'lose' as 'loose' a new thing?

Winds me the fuck up an' all.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Yes, and it's shit
All those loose/lose, to/too, your/you're and so on being wrong just marks you out as an illiterate tosser, unless you're clearly doing it for lolz or mocking someone for being an illiterate tosser.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:40, Reply)

bunch of loosers innit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:47, Reply)

No, your a looser

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:58, Reply)

www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/like-mother-like-daughter.jpg
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:50, Reply)

i was formally of the opinion that I didn't want a goat
i can gaz you my address yeah?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:29, Reply)

ARE SLANKETS GOOD OR SHIT? CHEERS

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:38, Reply)

ask jeff
he has shares in slankets, i swear!

my uncle bought me one for christmas last year. unsurprisingly, it's pink.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Sounds shit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:42, Reply)

it's cosy and snuggly ACTUALLY

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:48, Reply)

My brother's girlfriend has a black one with skulls on
she reckons it's ace, I'm still not convinced.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:51, Reply)

i don't usually bother with the sleeves
i just wrap myself in it when the central heating decides it's going to come on during the day and go off at night when i'm actually there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)

So you bought a £50 BLANKET then you fucking muppet.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:02, Reply)

what part of "my uncle bought me one for christmas" did you NOT UNDERSTAND?

also, i suspect it was nearer £10 than £50.

www.slanket.co.uk/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:05, Reply)

I DIDNT READ IT OK?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:06, Reply)

and THAT'S why you just made a fool of yourself
A FOOL
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Shit. Unless you're an old woman or a middle aged Chat magazine reader.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)

At least someone talks some sense around here!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Why is Jo Brand popular?
She's got three jokes and they're all shit.
( Kroney, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Probably because women.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:43, Reply)

Just been to council office my ticket has an ad for International womens Day ...women as peacemakers 2014
FFS.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Men are useless, I loke orgasms,I like cake.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:56, Reply)

It's just the two
Men are useless, how fat am I?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)

She isn't popular.
Wasn't she a judge on that horrendous reality thing about diving they did on ITV?

What does she know about diving? The fucking water jumps out if she tries. Then there's all the bother with Greenpeace.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)

I think it was for ironolols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:49, Reply)

And that bash pub sounds shit.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)

I keep smelling bacon, i think it's because its NO MEAT DAY 3.5

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:09, Reply)

you're half a vegetarian now!
what's for lunch/dinner?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:10, Reply)

NOMMY BACONZ

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)

HUNNY CASHEWZ NATCH

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:12, Reply)

urgh no
sea salt and cracked black pepper, or possibly lime and chilli, or smothered in chocolate.

otherwise your cashews can GTFO.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)

WELL BENT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)

Salt and Vinegarrrrr
I had Bacon and Maple popcorn at the weekend. It was heavenly.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:26, Reply)

m&s do an amazing sea salt and cider vinegar roasted nut selection
mmmm
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Vegetable crisps of GTFO

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:37, Reply)

BENT

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:42, Reply)

SPASTIC

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:48, Reply)

I do like the parsnip ones
beetroot can fuck right off though
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Them purple ones is my favouritest

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:48, Reply)

*beetroot fives*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:48, Reply)

I knew you were proper sound SPORTSCOW

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Damn right I am
I'm fucking great, me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)

i dont know if i wanna meet you for maccy ds anymore doc :(

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Try 'em Reg, trust me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:47, Reply)

seeing as its you doc ill give em a fair go

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)

good lad

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)

I made it when I was in theNEWSLETTER motherfuckers
Yes there's a newsletter, no, nobody reads it, yes it's excreble, shut up, look FINE ok I've done nothing of value ever.

alt: I fucking love fog, don't drive so I can just pretend that everyone else is dead and that explains the silence.

altalt: I don't know FUCK ALL about you lot, you keep using weird names at each other when the blue text underneath says summat different, I assume conspiracy.
( Theoban What of it, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Alright Theoban

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)

alright doc

( Theoban What of it, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)

It does get confusing when people take other people's names :(
I don;t even know if I'm me.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)

Yeah round here they'll go 'alright speshhy b' when your name says 'harold bishop'
Or even worse real names, cos that ain't even on the WIKI
( Theoban What of it, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Lets change our names Theoban
I'll be Lou Carpenter and you be Harold Bishop and we can be bescht m8s
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)

my dad looks like lou carpenter

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:42, Reply)

dad mum
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:48, Reply)

mum face
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:49, Reply)

I mummed all over your face last night

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:49, Reply)

I honestly don't even know where to start with a reply to that...

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)

I'm going with LOL and CLICK

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:52, Reply)

BUT NO DENIAL, I NOTICE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:52, Reply)

I DUNNO WHAT PEOPLE DO WHEN IM ASLEEP DO I?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:53, Reply)

snore and fart, if they're male
and complain about other people's pillows.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:55, Reply)

(◉__◉)
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)

YOU ARE FRANK!
I KNEW IT!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:52, Reply)

well no
not really. it's been a few years, i'd have thought more like a halloween skeleton by now :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:52, Reply)

BUT THANKS FOR UPSETTING ME

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:52, Reply)

sorry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Aww maaaan. I'm totally going to a b4sh next year. Hopefully a Laaaandan one.
alt. Fog on the Tyne is allll mine allll mine. Why aye. Auf wiedersehen pet.

altalt. on here, no. At work I am a medium of gossip. Always in my bosses office catting about some count. It's good to be in the know at work and for people to know you're in the know. You know?
Plus I'm bloody lovely, so get away without looking a complete baytch.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:24, Reply)

youre alright 'GeordieJay' count me in for your baysh
couse ill be a veteran by then so ill be all like walking in "A'noon evrybody!" and theyll be like "REG!!!!" and then ill give the jukebox a whack cos it ent working and then ill fling my hat onto the hatstand and then two sexy baytan wenches will be on my arms.

I'm totes aware that one part of this sceanrio is a step too far.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:43, Reply)

NO HATSTAND CHAT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:48, Reply)

This isn't quite how it happens. Someone sits behind a furtive bear printed on A4,
Then random geeks come up and say is this B3TA? Then we lol and talk about chat boards. A good drunken vomit ia a.bonus ;)
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Im all flecken squeeee with excitement pooks
tho i cant see mince sitting around with a bear picture, he dont strike me as that kinda count
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:54, Reply)

magenta CDC or gtfo

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:55, Reply)

yer, youve still got your secret baysh codes for now
but once im in the inner snactum you'll mock me n'more
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)

they'll never let you in
your tits are too small
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:58, Reply)

by all accounts mince is a slim jim roadie looken mather jammer
so i dont believe you
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 11:59, Reply)