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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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There's more activity in B3th's barren womb than there is here.
Why are you all so shit at the Internet?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:17,
147 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Alright mateypops,
We're mocking the odd looking nerds on University Challenge. Just thinking about grub too.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:21,
Reply)
I may have a hair of the dog in a moment. I haven't had a hangover as bad as this for several years.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:24,
Reply)
Sounds horrific.
Did Boyce make it to work today?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:25,
Reply)
I assume so.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:26,
Reply)
You cooked for Monty didn't you? How'd that go?
l
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:26,
Reply)
Alright I think. Don't think I poisoned him. It was an excellent afternoon/ evening, which was completed by Live and Let Die and large Cuban cigars.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:28,
Reply)
Live and Let Die
Sounds like the last 24 hours for you.
All the fun, all the pain.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:29,
Reply)
Fucking cigar has ruined me. As well as stinking my house out. Don't normally smoke indoors.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:30,
Reply)
hahaha
Hope the ex has no reason to pop round.
Get a magic tree, that'll sort it.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:32,
Reply)
I don't let her in the house.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:32,
Reply)
UC always makes me think of the episode of the Young Ones where scumbag college played the poshos.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:27,
Reply)
That's about the only episode that still stands up these days.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:47,
Reply)
Yep. Alright son?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:48,
Reply)
Aye. Basking in the glorious glow
of receiving a cheque for £117.95 towards the dog's treatment. That's £117.95 out of a total cost to us of just under 500 quid.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:51,
Reply)
What's up with it?
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:53,
Reply)
It's dead, that's what's up with it.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:54,
Reply)
To summarise:
Nasty lump in mouth turned out to be a tumour that was removed. Within 10 days tumour grows back, dog has another 3 weeks or so of being spoiled before decision is taken to put her to sleep. Insurance claim goes in; turns out there's £115 excess on the policy and they don't cover for home visits or euthanasia, despite the policy being called 'Covered for Life'.
TL;DR read the fucking small print in future and don't bother with insurance, but instead put a sum of money away each month to avoid massive excess payments.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:57,
Reply)
Sorry man.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:02,
Reply)
Yeah I sAw Tourette's FB post about it. Shit innit.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:00,
Reply)
Not entirely unexpected tbh.
Insurance companies: paying out for as little as possible since (insert date here.) Still, some helpful advice coming through on the thread so who knows?
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:03,
Reply)
or you should have read your policy
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:06,
Reply)
The policy document is remarkably lacking in information.
And has been constantly marketed as 'all singing and dancing'. The fact it's called covered for life is a misnomer as well; it only covers for death through illness up until 8 years of age.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:10,
Reply)
Berk's idea was a good one.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:06,
Reply)
Something about your mum giving me a biscuit.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:25,
Reply)
and a freebie.
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:32,
Reply)
It's a bit late for a hair of the dog. What time were you boozing till?
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 20:52,
Reply)
Not late. Had micro today so I don't drink and parent, so hence why I'm only having a beverage now.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:00,
Reply)
What ho.
How's your life threatening injuries doing?
(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:05,
Reply)
we're all hoping he doesn't make it
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:07,
Reply)
Terrible. I think it may be terminal.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:07,
Reply)
I'll book you a plot.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:08,
Reply)
Thanks, but I want to be buried at sea.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:12,
Reply)
Well I'm not dancing on your grave.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:13,
Reply)
Want to share a dhingy?
We can drift and cough/vomit near the scene.
(
Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:25,
Reply)
Yer then the sea will remember our phlegm like in homeopathy and Batty
will be brought back to life.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:36,
Reply)
+i
Airportlolz
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:18,
Reply)
fingers crossed
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:09,
Reply)
Found a new black tie with the label on recently at the back of a drawer.
Can't remember if I bought it when someone was quite poorly or what
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:12,
Reply)
cool story bro
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:18,
Reply)
I'm watching BBC2
It's really quite depressing. Yet oddly interesting.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:19,
Reply)
Walker is a twat.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:24,
Reply)
The doner kebab pizza looks like the sort of shit AA would enjoy.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:25,
Reply)
They also sell chicken tikka lasagne. FFS.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:31,
Reply)
It's like the North in retail form.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:36,
Reply)
it works surprisingly well as a takeaway meal
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:03,
Reply)
STAY ABOUT FROM MY BARREN WOMB!
Anyone watching that programme on shoplifters on Channel 5? Guaranteed to make people ANGRY on the INTERNET.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:25,
Reply)
I was going to watch that on plus one.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:26,
Reply)
Dry, I hear.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:28,
Reply)
Na. Iceland is on BBC 2.
Sad.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:26,
Reply)
I watched a thing about clockwork automata
it was ace
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:27,
Reply)
Did it have Dr Who and Mme de Pompadour in it?
Because I think I saw that one.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:30,
Reply)
No, it was like that
only real life
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:35,
Reply)
Mmmmmmm, david Tennant.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:37,
Reply)
yum yum yum
(he wasn't in this program it was some old guy who left too big a gap between bits of sentences, although not like shatner)
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:41,
Reply)
I think most things would be improved by the inclusion of Shatner.
With the exception of my barren womb, obviously.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:42,
Reply)
something about where no man has gone before
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
Hahahaha
^this.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
You say automata....
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:36,
Reply)
you say tomato
...that wasn't a very good engineering project
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:37,
Reply)
Not really, no
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:38,
Reply)
are YOU watching the pikey robbers on Channel 5?
It's painting the North east in a surprisingly bad light.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:46,
Reply)
Too stuck into work
:o(
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:06,
Reply)
You should watch it later.
It's all 'gan' this, and 'gadjee' that...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:08,
Reply)
watching The Naked Gun
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:25,
Reply)
Because I, I, I have WORK to do.
:D
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:29,
Reply)
Alright the LOVELY stuj?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:32,
Reply)
Aye The LOVELIER Battered
you?
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:46,
Reply)
this^
:o(
I'm fucking bored of overtime now but we require a stair carpet
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:34,
Reply)
Are you a weaver?
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:38,
Reply)
of dreams
Dreams of a newly carpetted stair, instead of the blood red monstrousity we were left with when we moved in
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:39,
Reply)
How manky.
No wonder you're overtimimg.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:45,
Reply)
I can imagine the conversation with SportsCalf
What have I told you about leaving toys on the jam rag!
It's for Daddy to decide to put toys on the jam rag, not you.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:46,
Reply)
Is this about shark week sex?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:02,
Reply)
Have you got a room you use for 'best'?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
This ain't even overtime.
Just normal SDA.
:(
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:49,
Reply)
I thought you were in wales
how do you have work?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:36,
Reply)
^ On. The. Sniff! ^
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:37,
Reply)
She's back on the market!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:38,
Reply)
Have you chanhe from a fiver?
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:40,
Reply)
it's hard to get hold of halfpennies now
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:42,
Reply)
I've got one on my desk, oddly enough.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
Maybe your hands are just bigger than when you were a child.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
I got an 1803 one from when I dug a pond.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:46,
Reply)
That's minimum wage in York.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:47,
Reply)
w
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:49,
Reply)
i did an archaeology dig
I got very excited when I found a coin. Until I realised it was a 1973 1p
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:49,
Reply)
I hope you found it under Petra's statue
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:50,
Reply)
I wouldn't have minded getting hold of Jill Halfpenny in her younger days.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:46,
Reply)
I saw her in abigail's party
She walked on stage; the ex said: MILF.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:53,
Reply)
MILF bud-bud-ding-ding!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:54,
Reply)
That made me laugh far too much for someone whose abs hurt from the gym :(
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:55,
Reply)
Sorry.
Have you been given the all clear from impending death yet?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
Yeah
But still have to go for scans and blood tests. Doom!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:00,
Reply)
To be fair to the nasty little pervert, if you google it, the image of her in that green dress is kind of annoying
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:54,
Reply)
I tried but I can't see further than her dressed in ladies sexy undergarments.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:58,
Reply)
This is a super slutty green halter neck maxi dress
I was hissing like a cat for much of the performance
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:01,
Reply)
Of course I have no idea what you're talking about.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:02,
Reply)
Not clicking.....classic cars...etc....
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:06,
Reply)
^ bent ^
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:08,
Reply)
I left, of course.
See, us Welshos can always dig ourselves to work when we need to.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:47,
Reply)
well done
us english came and took your jobs
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:49,
Reply)
I'm IN That England RIGHT NOW!
In ur country. Stealing ur beefs.
:D
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:58,
Reply)
yeah, well you should see how I fucked your sheep
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:03,
Reply)
Meh.
As long as you STAY ABOUT FROM MY PENGUINS!
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:38,
Reply)
Fuck it, phoning out for a kebab. Last meat before vegi Tuesday.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:38,
Reply)
Go to Iceland and get a kebab pizza.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:40,
Reply)
That's a bit far, isn't it?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
Is there hotdog in the crust?
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
Depends really.
I'd say Katona is a dog, others might call her hot.
The confused might say she's a hotdog.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:47,
Reply)
I would.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:48,
Reply)
^NOT this^
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:50,
Reply)
Hello Toadface. Net you wojld Mr McDesparate.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:54,
Reply)
Please use English dear.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
In the real ale game, Hobgoblin pisses all over Bombardier. I piss all over my shoes.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:45,
Reply)
I'm using it to look up recipes for lamb at the moment
It's very confusing. There is a lot of choice.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
You pick your favourite, fluffy little sheep and then KILL IT.
And then cook it.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:57,
Reply)
I was thinking more of a yoghurt marinade with a kick...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:01,
Reply)
Isn't that the Angry Pirate?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:02,
Reply)
Just in case you plead ignorance
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=angry%20pirate
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:02,
Reply)
Hey, I don't know what you get up to in brizzle
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:03,
Reply)
Arr!
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:03,
Reply)
Not very vegetarian is it? Next you'll be saying you don't believe in the baby Jesus.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:58,
Reply)
I find bible bashers creepy and annoying
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 21:59,
Reply)
That negativity is just the Jesus shaped whole in your heart begging to be filled by his everlasting love.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:01,
Reply)
You are never ever getting laid again, are you?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:02,
Reply)
I just don't know. I'm trying to remain positive, but between you and me, I can't see it happening.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:03,
Reply)
I just don't know. I'm trying to remain positive, but 't
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:06,
Reply)
Steady on!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:07,
Reply)
Even in Folkestone the women must have standards, jeffster
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:08,
Reply)
I'm having to branch out for my hounding trips these days.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:10,
Reply)
One minute you're an impotent nullo, the next a ravenous flange hound
Which is it? We need consistency.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:11,
Reply)
It's pretty simple. By day I pretend I'm miserable, dumped and impotent.
By night I'm usually pissed, and pretend I talk to women, the truth lies somewhere in between.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:13,
Reply)
You're batman aren't you?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:15,
Reply)
her vegetarianism is reference quality
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:15,
Reply)
The bloke likes meat
I like the bloke
Therefore I cook him meat. I don't eat the nasty shit myself!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:24,
Reply)
So you're an impotent sex pest.
Scooby Doo is less confused than you.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:15,
Reply)
I'm watching people in the North celebrate the fact they shoplift.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:08,
Reply)
Are you ANGRY yet?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:18,
Reply)
Nope.
Being six foot and sober, I'm not sure I can do angry.
Not properly, anyway.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:19,
Reply)
Do bent instead, then.
should be easy for you.
Also, did you see
this story today?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:24,
Reply)
I can't believe they excluded the 'and if you're lucky, you might meet JeffTheDogFucker' line.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:26,
Reply)
I've met him THREE TIMES!
I should probably go and buy a lottery ticket or something.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:29,
Reply)
Based on that, I think you've used up all of your luck.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:30,
Reply)
Based on that assumption
the next time I go to Bristol, I'll end up meeting Battered.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:31,
Reply)
Bye
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:17,
Reply)
Hello :D
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 21 Oct 2013, 22:56,
Reply)
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