Alright remaining OffTopicers? 273/5 YESSS!!!!!!!!
I saw a gentleman cycling on a bicycle wearing a proper motorbike style crash helmet. He looked like a knob. Yesterday I saw someone wearing those Marshall headphones that are square in shape, presumably designed to look a bit like an amplifier. He looked like a knob. What do people wear that you think makes them look like a knob?
Alt: Anything you like, it's not like anyone answers the flucken questions anymore.
Altalt: Please provide your address, DOB, and bank account details along with any other useful or salient information.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:04, 138 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Ugly people wearing their faces makes them look like knobs.
Alt: I had a splendid night's sleep.

Altalt: I'm just a vagabond - I have none of these things.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:16, Reply)

OK I have now banned ugly people.
Alt: \o/
Altalt: Fair enough.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:18, Reply)

So it's just me and you, then, Froggles.
Shall we see what's on telly?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:25, Reply)

Nowt much, as usual :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:31, Reply)

I'm going to put my foot through it, and send Nigella Lawson the bill.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I'm going to put 12 inches through Nigella Lawson and send Bill round to you

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:10, Reply)

^ Threatening a public figure.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:20, Reply)

with my cock!
again
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:25, Reply)

football tops
Those 'Toms' shoes
Cufflinks in button cuff shirts.
Ramones t shirts when they've never heard the band.
Captain Placid's face.
Rachelswipe's ginger gunt.
Battered's Zammoesque face.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:25, Reply)

Cufflinks in button cuff shirts?
How is such a thing possible, if not through SATAN'S LIES?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:26, Reply)

some button cuff shirts have a buttonhole on each side of the cuff.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:28, Reply)

The purveyors, vendors and purchasers of such must be hunted and shot.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:56, Reply)

I has seen the Ramones twice but don't have a tshirt.
What do I do?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:31, Reply)

Get a motorhead t-shirt

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:34, Reply)

*takes notes*

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:35, Reply)

Not like the Ramones did? Eh kids?! LOL!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:58, Reply)

Toms shoes?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:32, Reply)

yer
Ask Google.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:51, Reply)

I did, they are stupid and queer.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Nakers must own a pair

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Is it true that they give a pair to some African baby or summat.
So there's loads of starving families poncing around in Toms?

No, nah.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:41, Reply)

You do realise that Rory will post pictures of me in a hat?
Frogcocked cunt.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:29, Reply)

it could be worse

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:31, Reply)

How Dozer howw? I'll be online bullied.
Sniffs.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:34, Reply)

It's on the b3ta photo pool so it's fair game or some other such bollocks.
Sorry
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:32, Reply)

273 posters have left and five remain?
I think this guy is likely to be a knob: b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2160307
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:33, Reply)

Maybe so, but he has an awesome taste in socks.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:35, Reply)

They didn't really inspire awe in me.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:39, Reply)

That's because colours are an abstract concept to your wardrobe of hessian, hemp and flaxen clothing

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:42, Reply)

I prefer the freedom of naturism

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 8:48, Reply)

Square toed shoes
Alt; chrimbo pops party today!

Altalt: dick toucher, 17 bent avenue, folkstone 07/08/62
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:00, Reply)

How did you get my address?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Is Dick Toucher the name or "other salient information"?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Thats my real name

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I have square toed work shoes at the min, but only because they were cheap :(
and I'm a witch.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Morning.
Fuck sake Froglet.
You know I always watch the test highlights at 10am.
No wonder no cunt comes on here anymore.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:09, Reply)

What did I do?
Edit: Oh I see, sorry xx
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Skinny jeans that show half of your boxers...
...'Low rise' trousers
Baseball caps with the gold stickers still on
'Retro' sportswear
Alt: The new sales guy from one of our competitors got so drunk after a recent trade show that hew threw up on himself, passed out in a hotel lobby and shat his pants. Nobody took pictures.
Altalt: Sure! Why not come over, there's plenty of room under the patio.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Grown men wearing t-shirts, hoodies and sk8tr clothes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:24, Reply)

+ Vans/DC shoes

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:24, Reply)

Must remember, the office is not b3ta
I should not answer a colleague who says "I think Hello! magazine want to do a little shoot on Nigella after the trial" with "I think we ALL want to do a little shoot on Nigella, if you know what I mean."

Horrified silence rather than mild chuckles.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:37, Reply)

What's wrong with your colleague?
Is he some sort of twat?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:41, Reply)

I know!
She's totally OK material.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:46, Reply)

good work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I just looked like a knob walking to the post sorting office, looking like I was crossing the Tundra.
It is a bit breezy mind.

alt. Anyone for a Salmon Wrap?
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/12/03/vaginal-knitting-casting-off-my-womb_n_4378006.html

altalt. erm, no.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Alt: It appears now any fucking stupid idea some kooky bint comes up with is 'art'. *Sigh*
altalt: No Xmas present or money for you then.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Let's hope men don't catch on and start shoving sewing machines up their arse.
or summat, I don't know.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:45, Reply)

A stitch in mine saves time
or something
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:54, Reply)

The "vagina cakes" slideshow at the end
looks like something they had lying around from a previous "edgy" article and slapped on this one.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:53, Reply)

cuntcakes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Why would you want to knit your period?
Feminists are cunts.

Vile, hairy, untended cunts
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Yesssssssss
Trying to walk anywhere today makes you look like a knob

I am still full of nommy food
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Did you have a good b'day?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:54, Reply)

I did, thank you
I had an amazing dinner last night too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:55, Reply)

\o/

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Scallops with black pudding and minted pea puree
followed by rib-eye steak, twice cooked chips and peppercorn sauce
Chocolate fondant to finish

NOM
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Cor! That sounds nice.
I hope I get treated to a nice meal like that on my birthday.
JANUARY 8th EVERYONE, JANUARY 8th!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:01, Reply)

The chocolate fondant was fucking lovely

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:02, Reply)

I still would have had the caramel apple thing, but otherwise I agree with your choices.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Sorry I'll still be broke from Christmas
So I'll just get you a joint present yeah?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Yeah that's fine, it's what I'm used to :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:06, Reply)

I don't mind getting a joint as a present.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:37, Reply)

THAT'S MY DAD'S BIRTHDAY
WHERE SHALL I TAKE HIM FOR A MEAL, EH?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:18, Reply)

TAKE HIM TO SOME VEGETARIAN BULLSHIT PLACE WITH ORGANIC BEER AND BEETROOT BASED PUDDINGS
MEN LOVE THAT
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:21, Reply)

nah, he's a REAL man

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:23, Reply)

WHAT RATHER THAN ONE WHO PUTS UPS WITH STUFF TO PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE?
I SEE
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)

some men pretend they are all hard and shit
but secretly they LOVE a bit of sweet pepper stuffed with quinoa and garnished with vegan cheese
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)

Yes, and some men go hungry through lack of proper sustenance

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:28, Reply)

what men are these?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Well, I know one :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:34, Reply)

Only if that's a very weird sex euphemism

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:29, Reply)

i liked geordiejay's punched lasagne

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Yeah i saw the "weather warnings" but it's even blustery in Mancland so will empathise.
After the "Great Storm of 2013" Im skeptical about those weather people.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Trees down in Wallsend
Proper two handed driving today
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Kits cold but nice in london
Winning
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:04, Reply)

I shouted at a cyclist this morning who was riding along the pavement on his racer
despite wearing a helmet and a high vis jacket.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Morning Al

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:53, Reply)

no, just having a shit.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:54, Reply)

A good plan

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Cyclists are cunts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:56, Reply)

As a rule, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I am the exception.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:57, Reply)

OK "Ian Brown"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Brown Watkins
No, hang on...
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:59, Reply)

You should take Steps to resolve this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:00, Reply)

You shouldn't joke, it's a tragedy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:02, Reply)

I reckon he'll get at least 5,6,7,8 years in jail

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:03, Reply)

I cant go on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Ha ha

(Bazongaloid, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:59, Reply)

YES
YES YES YES
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Some bird was slowly cycling up Waterloo bridge last night, no lights, no helmet and wobbling left and right as she tried to get up the hill
It's no wonder they all get squished
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:02, Reply)

london cyclists are idiots

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Got the old vibrating pants on again

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:22, Reply)

My daughter did a poo the size of a coke can this morning and left it standing straight up on its end in the potty
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

*heather smalls*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Started an excellent thread -__-

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:02, Reply)

A thread is defined by its content not by its subject

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Well you've replied so it immediately becomes a sample of HIV riddled sperm ejected from YM's vag the morning after.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:04, Reply)

You know sometimes, your words, they hurt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Yeah, well, maybe I was unhappy about you posting my real name and address

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:10, Reply)

I think my son is hollow
When he shits it is scary how much comes out of him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:03, Reply)

My dog is like this.
They are HUGE.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Mini ape has only just been potty trained as such it's very exciting for her
When she's used her potty she does a little dance, high fives everyone and demands people look at her good work
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:06, Reply)

FYI
People talking about their children are pricks...

HTHs
xxx
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Please Mr Do Dah, start a new thread

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)

My threads are all shit
I don't think I have started a good one yet...

that said without posting the link there is a great mini vid on the bbc website about the war photos of Vietnam
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)

yeah your student politics and disregard for peoples property is a much better subject
Prick
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Lick my sweaty taint now you sexy beast

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:53, Reply)

She obviously learned this from her father.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)

SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR POST IS REALLY RACIST
IS IT WHERE YOU LIKEN A BLACK SINGER TO A TURD, MAYBE?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)

You've gotta seach for Coke Zero inside yourself

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:22, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Do a new thread Doozer. But a good one, none of your usual shite x

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:41, Reply)