Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
New Year resolutions/diets/shite like thatHow many of you are doing this and what?
Tell the group
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:14,
175 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
didn't we do this on NYE or thereabouts?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:15,
Reply)
DunnoI just checked down the page and didn't see anything. Feel free to start another thread. Just wanted people to keep posting
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:16,
Reply)
I'll break your coccyx in a minute(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:23,
Reply)
usual - get rid of the christmas excessesday 2 of very strict diet is going fine, but skiing next week so that will put it on hold for a few days.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:18,
Reply)
This year, I am telling your parents that you are gay.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:21,
Reply)
I just think it's time you started being honest, most of all with yourself.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:22,
Reply)
Just shut up and turn over, you sexy bitch(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:23,
Reply)
Not bothering, as perfection cannot be improved. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:21,
Reply)
I'm playing Tourette's via email with a mate at the moment.#Purile.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:25,
Reply)
There is no problem with this at all(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:32,
Reply)
I'm going to try to continue avoiding being a hubcap-nicking Northern shitmonkey.How about you, sporters?
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:22,
Reply)
I am going to wear more Breton Shirts and rub myself with garlicin order to feel closer to you
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:32, Reply)
When they gets togetherIt was Merde
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:33,
Reply)
The fucking girlfriend's been making jokes about me being French now, too.(
Kroney, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:37,
Reply)
hahahahaha!Have you told her about here?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:38,
Reply)
Yeah. We were watching Taken the other day and when that bit happened with all the French language she asked me, completely deadpan, for a translation.
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:40,
Reply)
That isn't the worst of it.Introduced me to a bunch of her friends on NYE. Halfway through the night, one sidles up to me and says "so, why is it she calls you Claude?"
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:48,
Reply)
The Answer to this should have beenBecause, like any true Frenchman, I only fuck her up the arse.
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:58, Reply)
And I like to flambe her fanny.As when I go down, I go down in flames.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:01,
Reply)
Fucking bitches while smoking blunts and shooting up rival gangs.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:26,
Reply)
Constantly pissing rusty water out of the remains of my arse, eating a terrible diet and making crap websites.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:28,
Reply)
You are a big strong beautiful person; a leader of industries. A good father, no, the best father. And you'd be the best husband if you had been given the chance too.There is no rhyme-nor-reason as to why all the women in your life eventually all leave you, the world conspires against you and it's not your fault. All you do is try and help people and this is how they repay you, but you keep strong.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:43,
Reply)
I'll have my life over yours any day. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:44,
Reply)
Well, yeah', i'm fucked medically speaking, that's generally not something to be envious of.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:48,
Reply)
I know you completely dismissed peer-accepted and WHO-sanctioned illness of "mental health" as not akin to "physical health", such as when your wife had PND....... but I assure you they are both very relevant fields in the range of medical health.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:53,
Reply)
You're lucky to find bitches that don't mind being sprayed with fecal matter every few days.I suppose it doesn't matter so much what the rival gangs think of the situation.
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:28,
Reply)
Disappointed in no response to this(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:07,
Reply)
Like a lion marking it's teratory.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:44,
Reply)
Tubgirl ain't got shit on me..... oh wait.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:49,
Reply)
We should get the two of you together for the foulest pole vault in history.(
Kroney, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:50,
Reply)
Putting that on a website with some adverts would set me up for life.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:59,
Reply)
Dearest LSo wonderful to receive your latest electronic communication; I can only assume (as one must) that you and your angelic family are in the most marvellous of health and enjoying a period of unbounded joy.
Yours always,
FMD-S (Ret.)
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:08, Reply)
I want to try to be a bit less cunty all-round, and especially online.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:04,
Reply)
That seems a good resolution(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:07,
Reply)
I thought so.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:13,
Reply)
Alright FMD-S (Rtd).Haven't been at the breakbeat over the hols as was too busy scarfing cholesterol and lashings of ginger beer.
No doubt I'll be back to it now I'm back in the saddle.
"Did I say 'saddle'? I meant - of course 'harness'."
How was your break?
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:13,
Reply)
my break was spiffing taYour next piece of homework is Adam Freeland's On Tour mix.
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Splendid. I shall hit it up tomozza.My nephew is starting to ask about dubstep. I don't know whether to bluff him, research it, or just chin the little shit - he's 15 so I reckon I could still have him in a fight.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:20,
Reply)
They all fucking LOVE me.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:14,
Reply)
To wrong-foot the cunts.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:14,
Reply)
^tcgi(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:18,
Reply)
No real plan, just incorporate more exercise, etc.Im doing exercise on a morning rather than when I get in at night.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:17,
Reply)
same as a 30 minute jog (when lubed)same as a 2 hour marathon when dry and struggling
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:23, Reply)
push it in with a winkle picker.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:42,
Reply)
I prefer the idea of him using a pointy boot.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:48,
Reply)
Be a better partner and father.Try to spread love and happiness.
Not laugh at clients' 'personal files.
Have a regular shit every morning.
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:19, Reply)
If you find yourself needing a shit at night, will you hold it until the dawn breaks?(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:24,
Reply)
I thought there was a song in there somewhere.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:28,
Reply)
I'd poo anything for love.but I won't poo that.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:42,
Reply)
That's commitment.I like your work.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:43,
Reply)
this kind of sounds like you want framed pics...(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:45,
Reply)
Unframed.I prefer to have my own frames made up to match what I already have.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:46,
Reply)
NahIf I couldn't get my shit together during the last 12 months there's no fucking way a new calendar will make any difference. that being said, the 100% unofficial ones they do in Poundland look pretty sweet.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:27,
Reply)
My cleaner turned up! at 2on the plus side that gave me time to assemble my new coffee table this morning and let her vacuum up all the mess.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:34,
Reply)
on the minus side she mopped the floor so now I'm confined to my desk until it dries(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:35,
Reply)
I can only dreamI did also get a bunch of work done while watching the simpsons and family guy.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:42,
Reply)
i saw that you now have a fluffy headfluffhead
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:44,
Reply)
I feel 18 years old again(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:47,
Reply)
*floats around in cyber space because it isn't the 1990's*(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:55,
Reply)
i just saved my client £100,000 per annuma good start to the working year
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:36,
Reply)
what the fuck were they spending that on that could be saved?Also, you're going skiing? I didn't know you could ski.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:41,
Reply)
it's a massive shopping centreand a service charge issue. you'd be bored to tears before we got off page 1.
no. i have never been skiing, and i know am going to suck at it like your mum with a fireman's hose. urgh.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:44,
Reply)
You'll be fine. Where are you going, and have you booked lessons?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:45,
Reply)
somewhere in france, i want to say courcheval?i have a snow-zone lesson this week, and then lessons on the days we are there. i fully intend to do the lessons and then fuck off to the chalet to read/drink.
it's a work trip, and whilst it's incredibly generous of them, i'd prefer to be safely at home and not up a mountain...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:50,
Reply)
Just do half-day lessons in the morningin the first few days you'll find it too tiring to ski all day and you'll want to spend the afternoons drinking/chilling. By the end of the week you'll want to go out in the afternoons for a bit, especially if you have other beginners to ski with.
Courcheval is very, very good for begineers. It's also the poshest resort in France (well, 1850 is) and the holder of my personal "record beer price" at 23 euro for 25cl of beer. In 2003. Drink apres in Bar Le Jump (assuming it's still there) as it used to be where the seasonnaires drank so it's more like 6 euro a pint.
Oh, and buy a helmet before you go, eh?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:56,
Reply)
i thought i might hire one - we're only there for 3 days. would that be do-able?I've borrowed a ski jacket and salo's and a few other bits.
i will have to let you know if the beer prices can top your record. i am such a mal-co, i can see me coming back with more metal than you've got!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:59,
Reply)
it might be doablebut they aren't that expensive, and hire gear does tend to smell a tiny bit of Frenchman's wee.
You'll need to hit the dodgy nightclub for that kinda cost and these days it'll be full of Russian gangsters.
If you're only there for 3 days try and get out at least on the afternoon of the third day, you might as well really see if you like it. It's not a sport that requires any serious sporting prowess, it's great fun and it is heavily drinking based. All-round win.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:02,
Reply)
*touches nose**points*
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:45,
Reply)
It's easy, three of you sit down on the bed with the skier in the middle, and the two on the outside lay down while the skier sarlams away. (
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:19,
Reply)
but, in the end, it is better than squirting up your squid to death.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:47,
Reply)
destimulate him with a dog carcass but he just kept firing the fuck juice(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:48, Reply)
I also resolved to getting my garden cleared before spring (hurr hurr)Looking into it now so I don't get fleeced.
It's a fucking overgrown mess.
and so is the garden.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:54,
Reply)
I'd have to buy man tools.Wouldn't know where to begin.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:56,
Reply)
Shears and a flamethower.Job done.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:57,
Reply)
who gives a shit about the garden?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:58,
Reply)
i would LOVE a flamethrowerno problem getting a seat on the tube with one of those bad little bitches
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:00,
Reply)
It depends on what you need to do, if you want to just lever the garden down to earth and start again you could hire a rotavater
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:05, Reply)
pretty much that.get rid of all the overgrown grass, weeds, blackberry vines.
not touched it for years.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:11,
Reply)
I would have thought you would have lots of experiance of MAN TOOLSWoooooo yeah girlfren I went there (does snappy finger thing )
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:58, Reply)
I doubt a penis is going to help me with my garden woes.Weed whacker.
Hurr hurr
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:59,
Reply)
Oh come on, you can work out how to buy and use tools.You're a gay man, not a woman.
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:15,
Reply)
Easier and possibly cheaper to hire someone for the heavy duty stuff and keep on top of it after innit.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:18,
Reply)
Bullys beware!www.lbc.co.uk/twitter-abuse-pair-admit-menacing-messages-83948
I particularly like the "Come to Geordie land bitch. What do you think the police will do?" quote.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:00,
Reply)
Jesus, I leave you twats for a couple of hours and this is all you come up with? You should be ashamed.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:31,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »