Frogcock is a cock. Discuss.
Much happening?
Edit, I should change my username to something less festive. Suggestions gladly taken.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:01, 149 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Shit hat shit cunt the bear

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:03, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:04, Reply)

I think this should win the competition.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:16, Reply)

It's not Christmas anymore.
HTH XX
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:05, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMRBYpbAHpk
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:07, Reply)

I had that as my out of office reply over the festive period
cos I'm well waqqqi and that
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:11, Reply)

All Christmas songs are 100% shit
HTH
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:13, Reply)

This makes Jesus sad :'(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:15, Reply)

Whats Bartleby's favourite christmas song?
Two little boys.
( Peej, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:17, Reply)

I thought it was "Paed The World"?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:35, Reply)

Oh, I say

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:46, Reply)

Please send back to darkest Peru

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:06, Reply)

Pookington

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:10, Reply)

I have had the theme to Paddington stuck in my head for about 4 days now

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:12, Reply)

They're doing a film of that
with Colin Firth

/IMDBinfoburst
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:17, Reply)

Hard to bear

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:21, Reply)

Get fucked.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:06, Reply)

Who's this cunt?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Pookie Bear innit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Never heard of him

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:08, Reply)

That one with the hat and murderous eyes.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:09, Reply)

Sports direct bargain big hat rings a bell

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:10, Reply)

Some fucking lurker or some shit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:10, Reply)

( Peej, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:12, Reply)

Oh the paedo! I remember now.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:14, Reply)

Sauron?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:28, Reply)

Call yourself a cunt.
You cunt.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:11, Reply)

Valentines next innit
I suggest "Roses are Red, Pookie is Blue, No-one will fuck him, cos he stinks like poo"
( Peej, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:11, Reply)

WOOHOO
just hauled in a big new client, referred to me because the agent on the job told the client I am "wonderful" (he's right, but, you know).

and they make something very tasty and delicious. the best kind of client.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:32, Reply)

So you really are the lawyer behind Domino's now?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:33, Reply)

PLEASE BE BURGER KING PLEASE BE BURGER KING

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:34, Reply)

Frey bentos?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:34, Reply)

YOU'RE ALL WRONG

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:37, Reply)

Who is it then Gillian?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:38, Reply)

Bran Flakes

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:43, Reply)

Greggs?

( Peej, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:58, Reply)

hahaha
NO.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:02, Reply)

No, however she was previously a coprophile injury lawyer for them though, or something like that?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:04, Reply)

different ex's
many years apart...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:05, Reply)

I assume Dozer already has one of these
www.betabrand.com/executive-pinstripe-hoodie.html
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:56, Reply)

is it wrong that i don't hate that?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:57, Reply)

It's fucking shit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:58, Reply)

you're not going to like your present from skiing

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:02, Reply)

You owe me money

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:04, Reply)

this is true
you might get it tonight, if you're lucky.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:05, Reply)

I think I'm still getting my present ;)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:06, Reply)

How much are pizzas these days?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:08, Reply)

emotionally?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:08, Reply)

"HOW MUCH ARE FUCKING PIZZAS THESE DAYS *SOB*?"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:15, Reply)

Top work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:32, Reply)

agreed
mildly amusing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:35, Reply)

If it wasn't done "ironically"
and it was just a hoodie that wasn't being sold for 120 fucking quid to hipster cunts

Then it would probably be quite understated and just an inoffensive plain hoodie.

But it isn't, and it is, so yes, you're wrong.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:06, Reply)

i didn't die!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:08, Reply)

I know this becuase you replied to me this morning.
But that is good, if predictable.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:09, Reply)

i would have haunted that ski instructor if i had died
they are professional flirts, those French ski instructors. every two seconds he was all, "my girlfriend in Russia", "my other girlfriend in Germany", "my - er - 'friend' in paris". dirt.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:12, Reply)

Was he ESF? (wearing red, basically?)

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:20, Reply)

yep
he was probably about 45. I asked when he learned to ski.

2 years old.

no wonder he thought it was fucking easy!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:35, Reply)

They are terrific fannyrats
The ESF jacket is a free pass to being welly-deep in ski resort clunge.

Except the female instructors, who are all hatchet-faced mentalists with skin like leather and serious anger issues

The criteria for being an ESF instructor used to be insane, though, so they are all immense skiers.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:43, Reply)

he was utterly outstanding, even i could see that
it's one of those tiny resorts where he basically owns everything and knows everyone. I imagine he beats off clunge with a shitty stick.

I didn't see any female ones. just lots of red jacketed dudes hoofing it down the mountain on the tip of one ski, pirouetting and shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:46, Reply)

ESF instructors know EVERYONE.
Thought you said you were in Courcheval? that's not tiny...

anecdotally, to be able to be an ESF instructor, you need to be able to ski or board your "local" world cup downhill/slalom/super G run within 10% of the last winning time and you need to be able to ski the longest red run in resort backwards. And that's before you start on actual coaching qualifications.

Putting that into context, a lot of other contenders don't get within 10% of the winners time.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:52, Reply)

dear god
that's insane!

it wasn't courcheval itself - small resort very near it. the partner's chalet was insane, the most beautiful and luxurious place I've ever been. I would say he's so lucky, but he's worked his arse off for it, so i'll just say he's incredibly generous to let us all stay there. such a beautiful place, I can see why you love it. apart from the snow. why? why is it so nasty and slippery??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:55, Reply)

if it wasn't slippery it wouldn't be fun !

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:57, Reply)

for the skiing, fine
but walking around the town in those insane boots? reeeeally?

fuck off slippery shite.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:59, Reply)

Minge eating fanny monkeys

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:26, Reply)

he was hot as fuck
but they are so clearly walking STD's
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:35, Reply)

Filthy French bastards.
He's been preying on English gunt since he was 2.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:39, Reply)

english, canadian, american, latino, scandie..

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:42, Reply)

nah, it's not a sk8 or streetwear label, is it m8?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:13, Reply)

ok bored now

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:26, Reply)

^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:28, Reply)

Nearly home time for you isn't it?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:29, Reply)

FACK OFF
I'm already home
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:30, Reply)

Does a yurt have wifi or do you just leech off someone in a static?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:32, Reply)

Property is theft, man

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:33, Reply)

how come i have to pay for mine then?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:34, Reply)

Well drink fake tea then.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:36, Reply)

I have just read the phrase "Fallopian waffles" and I'm now crying at my desk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:33, Reply)

You been on mumsnet again?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:37, Reply)

Damn you autocorrect

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:44, Reply)

I risked a Google. Then officelolled
"metrosexual apples" is bizarre as well
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:47, Reply)

*n*E*w*T*h*R*e*A*d*

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:47, Reply)