Where's Battered gone?
Boy, I'm getting rusty at this b3ta lark. What were your past *things* you can no longer string together?
*sucks Werther's Original and waits for tumbleweed*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:38, 67 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

hey there!
I can't drink like I used to. But then again I did have my mouth sewn shut for the lols. Guess I'll go with intravenous drugs instead
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:43, Reply)

I can't drink like you used to either.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:47, Reply)

Just realised I'm alone with two girls.
*looks down at feet and blushes*
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:49, Reply)

*teases*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:51, Reply)

's alright, I'm here.
For about 5 minutes.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:51, Reply)

God, imagine that happened to Swipe, the internet's hairy chubby population would commit mass suicide.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 21:15, Reply)

Hey you!
I am making a big old saucepan of chilli for my dinner (and my dinner and my dinner and my dinner). Get this, yeah, I ground my own cumin! Wow. Mostly because I'd run out of ground cumin but I had seeds and found a gadget in the back of the cupboard, but still...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:51, Reply)

I'm doing a Thai prawn curry.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:52, Reply)

If I liked prawns or thai that would sound delicious!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:59, Reply)

What's wrong with prawns?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:11, Reply)

sea cockroaches
or maggots if they've been peeled
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:35, Reply)

Proper prawns though are fucking lush, I reckon they're my favorite animal to eat.
I like sucking out the brains and when it takes like 4 or 5 normal sized bites to finish.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 21:31, Reply)

^ forgot how to Jew ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 21:56, Reply)

I ground my own cum in to YM's face

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:56, Reply)

Well I hope it made you happy

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:59, Reply)

Did exact same this affy.
All cooled down ready for freezer now.
Hope you put in dark chocklit.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:00, Reply)

Black treacle innit

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:02, Reply)

Not tried that, couple of tbsp of balsamic in it.
Have you tried choc? It's delish.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:04, Reply)

*sucks a fisherman's friend*

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:57, Reply)

Aye up chuck, alright me cocker?
I made a fucking wicked gorgonzola and butternut squash rissotto, looked the fucking bomb, but then I tasted it and the rice was only half done, I think i've rescewed it but you no longer get streaks of blue cheese.... It's now more like a lump dock sick soup but tastes'n'textures alright.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:58, Reply)

*smooshes*

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 23:31, Reply)

Can't be arsed to stand up and visit the loo.
Ponders.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:58, Reply)

How much do you like your current pants?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 19:59, Reply)

What pants?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:01, Reply)

pants chair?
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:02, Reply)

He'll have a current in his pants any minute noe.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:02, Reply)

Sometimes I sit down for what I like to call a 'luxury piss'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:06, Reply)

+ on swipes chest

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:07, Reply)

No, that's a shit, get your memes right 'mong tiger/Frank'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:08, Reply)

Is mong tiger Frank?
Oh dear.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:09, Reply)

I think so.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:12, Reply)

your judgment is quite flawed, though

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:13, Reply)

*gets drunk with Berk and Swipe*
*pulls Swipe*

I think you've hit the nail on the head there.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:40, Reply)

oh, no golden foreplay then?

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:10, Reply)

Frank is funnier than this one

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:10, Reply)

hahahahaha yeah

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:11, Reply)

^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:16, Reply)

I decided my thread was too beakerish. Plus, needed to clean the downstairs shitter, so couldn't pay attention to it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:03, Reply)

Alright.
Micro alright?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:07, Reply)

I am trying to make amends for offending a number of people on Friday. My daughter is with her mother this weekend, but she is with me all day tomorrow.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:09, Reply)

Who did you offend?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:11, Reply)

Via text; Monty. In person about 5 people.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:11, Reply)

and me
mememe
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:15, Reply)

Fuck off. I didn't offend you. I simply said I couldn't make it as I was too pissed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:16, Reply)

your face offends me

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:16, Reply)

Shit off you fat ginger harpy.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:20, Reply)

:)))

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:23, Reply)

needz more chinz

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:25, Reply)

you need more cock

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:54, Reply)

You offending?
I'm not having that.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:11, Reply)

You merely disappointed me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:13, Reply)

I also phoned my ex-wife and told her she is a cunt and a bad mother.
She is a cunt, but she isn't a bad mother.

I also told an Indian friend of mine he was a paki cunt & that he shouldn't spend his time with coons.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:15, Reply)

Perhaps it was best I didn't meet you on Friday then.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:16, Reply)

Yes.
I am rather ashamed of myself & have spent most of the weekend trying to make amends.

I am very angry with myself, regardless of the stuff I say on /OT I am certainly NOT a racist.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:19, Reply)

I've not met you but I always assumed you was a Paki
(And a battyboy)
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:21, Reply)

C'mon, we all say things out of context IRL
It's no real bad dude - the folk who really know how canny you are will be ok in the morning. Crikey, by comparison, you make me look like Henry Kissinger! LOLOLOL xxxxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 23:50, Reply)

Fairy Nuff dude xxx

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 23:33, Reply)

Mmmm Lovely mouth tingle
That was lovely chilli. Just forehead dampening, not full on red face.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 20:43, Reply)

Scratches.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 21:01, Reply)

Won the cunting quiz!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 23:11, Reply)

We didn't.
Came second, though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 26 Jan 2014, 23:21, Reply)

I didn't even go to a quiz, so I guess we know who the *real* winner is here.......

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 23:25, Reply)

Not you
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2196944
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 0:01, Reply)

Very good.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 27 Jan 2014, 0:04, Reply)

What pyizw did you won chlock?

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 23:30, Reply)

About thirty quid and a bottle of wine.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 23:36, Reply)

*shirt over the head*

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 26 Jan 2014, 23:42, Reply)