Wednesday ... ah, day of riddles
Nearly the weekend. And nine days to go on my chuff-chart until I come home. W00t!



Famous mathematician. See if you can work out who he is ... (note: he's not me - he's orders of magnitude more intelligent that yours truly).

A shiny £1 coin (or HK$20 note) to the first person who guesses it right (winner to collect at Heathrow airport, 5am August 23rd 2008)


(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 5:18, 171 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

morning
early start today?
No idea who your man is I'm afraid. its too early to google :)
Scottish blend anyone?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 7:29, Reply)

@weeK
Love one, thanks!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 7:48, Reply)

tea
Thought you'd appreciate a scottish blend. I'll even use imported morayshire water :)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 7:54, Reply)

Yum
Scottish T ftw!

Edit: or is that a drink played by golfists at St Andrews? (McTee...?)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 7:57, Reply)

Hello
Just us two this morning then?
More tea for me I suppose!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:16, Reply)

Morning all
*runs in, grabs cake and doles out kisses aplenty, runs off again*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:21, Reply)

@Becky
Good morning dear - sorry for the lack of fluffeh :)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:23, Reply)

morning folks
tired again

lots of rain

this has been the news and weather at 8:23am
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:23, Reply)

Is there such a thing as a famous mathmematician?
Haven't a clue.

Goodmorning folks, I'm off to cock-up do the wages and then back later.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:26, Reply)

Mathematicians
Einstein was a famous Mathematician!

Morning all BTW!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:30, Reply)

@BGB
Pah! There are famous mathematicians...!

Oh, and @Vipros - thanks for the update. Are you really Kate Silverton in disguise (please say yes)?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:34, Reply)

if I were kate silverton
this would be a hell of a disguise

you'd be the first to know though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:39, Reply)

Morning folks
It actually appears to be dry here this morning, or it is just now anyway.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:46, Reply)

@Vipros
If you were KS I'd be perving over you right now :O
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:49, Reply)

.
Its dry here too, which is pleasant after several days of torrential rain and flooding. not that I think it will last mind.
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:50, Reply)

I've got a bigger beard than her
otherwise the resemblance is striking
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:50, Reply)

Kate Silverton has a giant head
You boys are weird.

Olga Kurylenko - now there's a woman.




EDIT: We're back to Bond
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:56, Reply)

@Baz
Agreed, and good morning sir!

KS is gorgeous though ...
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Mornin'
do a google image on Megan Fox of 'Transformers' also - you may weep.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:01, Reply)

John Nash
not looking like Russell Crowe.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:09, Reply)

@CHCB
We Have A Winner!

Yes, indeed JFN himself ...
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:10, Reply)

It was process of elimination -
I knew it wasn't Ramanujan.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:11, Reply)

Or
Feynman, Penrose or Hawking (although they'd probably describe themselves as physicists (pah!))
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:13, Reply)

or
Ada Lovelace, though she was a programmer, I suppose. Score for the geeks.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:15, Reply)

@CHCB
Score, indeed, for the geeks. btw, did you see my xkcd in my sig?

How are you anyway?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:18, Reply)

Morning Morning Morning!
How are we all today? Hope all is well.

Congrats to CHCB.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:18, Reply)

I thought Ada Lovelace was a porn star?
Wages done and all is well with the world.

I was guessing at Alan Turing but that was a stab in the dark.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:30, Reply)

Mornin'
*falls asleep at desk*
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:30, Reply)

*molests Kaol*
so we did this photoshoot with my band last night

fortunately the photographer is a mate of ours so it wasn't too weird, but was still weird

we basically wandered around for an hour and took photos of us in strange places....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:35, Reply)

@Vipros
pics rule DEFINITELY applies.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:36, Reply)

once I've got some pics I'll stick some up
they won't be particularly interesting though

we're going to go down to cornwall for a weekend of debauchery soon and will take some decent band pics while we are down there. they will be better.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:38, Reply)

good morning one and all
he's not very pretty, is he?

I suppose the brains make up for it though.

*shallows*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:55, Reply)

*shouts* Ed, where the hell is Ed?
Ed!

*cough*

I went for a fucking run!!!
I am sweating like a catholic priest in a children's home. and it was only a third of a mile!

I'm off for a bath.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 9:59, Reply)

@HLT
Hello! That's John Forbes Nash - the subject of the semi-biographical film A Beautiful Mind.

And not shallow at all - he's in his 80s now
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:06, Reply)

@Mrs L
That's FABULOUS news - good for you. Other than the catholicism-around-kids (now there's an image ...oooh (in a bad way)) how do you feel?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Nice on Mrs L
Practice makes better, but how do you feel post run? Elated?

Speaking of which isn't it BGB's gym induction today?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Gah!
You're talking about fit stuff again.

Ning all. Every day brings curly-hair weather. How poo.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:12, Reply)

exercise is bad for you, everyone knows that
*noms cake*

*listens to arteries clanging shut*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:13, Reply)

Slick fat-free arteries
are for those who don't enjoy cake.

*cardiacs*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:16, Reply)

@PJM
My induction was supposed to be last night but the instructor called off sick so it's now tomorrow night.

I was all ready for action and everything : (
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:18, Reply)

@BGB
See! Doesn't do anyone any good at all.

How are you today miss?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:19, Reply)

I exercise
Only to enhance my cake eating experience...

*edit*

That's a shame BGB. Nothing worse than getting all fired up for something like that and then being let down at the 11th hour.

Mind you, am I right in guessing that you run and do yoga?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Pah, exercise
running and I have a love-hate relationship. So long as I can stick a couple of radio 4 comedies on the Ipod, I'm quite happy. I've worked my way up from about 1/4 of a mile up to 3 miles with a reasonable degree of comfort, and I'm quite happy about that, but...

WHY, every now and again, does my stamina level just appear to drop off a cliff and I'll barely manage a mile (for several days at a time) before I give out? This really hacks me off...

Added to which, I've had minor injuries and now a niggly chesty cold/cough for the last 2 weeks, so I've not done any significant exercise at all lately. I suspect other gym-goes don't want to be covered in my phlegm as I have a coughing fit on the treadmill.
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:30, Reply)

@Fireflier
Stamina does that to me too... I'm not a natural runner and it took me a while to get from 1/2 a mile to 3. The most I've ever managed in one effort is six miles... And that hurt.

And then all of a sudden I'm wheezing and aching after half a mile again.

Having said that I have recently managed three miles in nineteen minutes.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:36, Reply)

weirdly
I can run on a treadmill for quite a long time (as long as I don't get bored) but if I get out into the real world I can't go very long without being knackered and having my shins ache. so I don't do it

I tend to stick to the cross-trainer and weights in the gym, but that is only so I can shovel more food in :-)

Can't beat a good long surf session for a full body work out though!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:37, Reply)

I'm busy and tired today
A horrible combination.
I still managed to make a post of gut-churning horror on the Blood topic though.
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:41, Reply)

Glad it's not just me then!
I'd had a period of about 4 years while I was working full time and doing an MBA in the evenings and weekends, when I did no exercise at all really - that's why I was down @ the 1/4 mile level (that and the fact I'd piled on the lbs). It took me about a year to get to the level where I am now, and I my target is 5 miles - I see no reason I'll ever what to run any further than that (although I might try to get the speed up a a bit after that.

Yeah - 3 in 19 mins is about the speed I'm aiming at, although I did 2 miles @ 7 mph recently, and I would like to get it up to about 8.5. That's not easy with my short fat hairy legs through. (Imagine a beano-eque picture of whirling legs and you'll get the idea)
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:43, Reply)

@ kaol
Ewww. Just, Ewww.

I like it. Mmmm, Black pudding.
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:47, Reply)

@PJM
Noooo! I power walk. I run a little but can't seem to go for more than 10 minutes bursts.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:49, Reply)

Out of the bath now!
I know what you mean Vipros. I can run about a mile and a half on the treadmill. When I cancelled my gym membership and started running outside I was nearly dead after about 50 yards.

It's my lungs that give me grief. I had pneumonia when I was 2 and nearly died. This has left me with the lungs of a 60 a day bog warrior, and I've never smoked in my life! I'm sat here now coughing up lumps!!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Good morning
I have done my one hour of writing. Not so good today - only around 1000 words. And a bit of fear creeping in that I won't be able to come up with new ideas.

Aaarrgg!


Quick! Stuff me with cake and give me kittens!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 10:52, Reply)

Mrs L
ditto, glad I'm not the only one.

my running on a treadmill has only come about of late because I've been getting so bored on the cross trainer. I'm not too concerned about being able to run far, just need to be able to go fast enough over a short distance that I can escape an assailant for long enough to gather my wits, grab a weapon and prepare myself for battle!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:04, Reply)

Grunt. Groan. Sweat.
Nope, not at the gym, just squeezing out another QOTW answer.

And rest.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Good morning B3tans!
My day so far:

Annoying. Frustrating. Oh, this thing I've been working on for ages, you don't want it any more? Well no, that's fine.

I need to hit something. AAAARGH!

*hopes for a KitKat and a cuddle*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:08, Reply)

@Vipros
"...for battle" ... wtf!? do you live in Brixton or something?

My experience of being mugged was once coming off a train and someone trying to mug me. I'd just come off an unarmed combat course (when I used to dress in green for a living) and the young fellow didn't expect to be stood up to and have seven shades of sh!t kicked out of him.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:10, Reply)

*offers DiT a kit kat*
*cuddles*

Better?
( wanderlust, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:11, Reply)

DiT
You can have a kitkat and cuddles if I can have kittehs and cake

;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:13, Reply)

It's a shame : (
You know when the wind is in the right direction, my lungs are working to full capacity, I'm in the zone and I'm running well, those 10 minutes of flight feel wonderful. I wish I could run for longer because I think I'd love it.

*gives kitkat and cuddle to DiT*
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:14, Reply)

*Cuddles DIT*
I don't have any Kit-Kats but I do have some of yesterdays biscuits left.
I'm going to be making cherry and chocolate biscuits later if you want chocolate.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:15, Reply)

I don't live anywhere particularly dangerous
and have never been in a fight *touches wood*

but I am pretty big and short runty twats seem to view that as an invitation to try and pick fights with me.

I'd hope that I'd be able to punch someone pretty hard, but I don't want to find out I can't at the wrong moment so better to be able to run away a bit and prepare myself for a fight :-)

just remembered an incident from last night. I had just stepped out my back door to have a j and a read of my book and heard some voices over the back wall saying "this is where the bath is, shit there's a big bloke in there"

(I have my old bath in the garden at the moment)

turned out to be two pikeys on a scavenging mission who had spied my taps on an earlier reccy and had come back with tools to half-inch them. I quickly decided that I should invite them into the garden to try and remove the taps with my blessing, because otherwise they would definitely come and do it anyway and might try and get the ones off the sink by smashing it against my house or something...

they couldn't get them off with the tools they had so needed to come back another time. I suggested that they come back tonight when I'm there.

better than having the buggers pissing about in my garden unsupervised!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:17, Reply)

Running?
I hate bloody running. In the vain attempt to shed the lard of 4 years of lardy lardness (having no time for exercise due to work/spawn duties) I have found that (a) I'm crap at running and (b) my joints don't like it either.

Wierd, as I can walk over rough ground all day with a fair bit of weight on my back, but apparently my shagged out left knee affects my gait so I run like a contestant in the Speshul Olympics.

This was prophesised (sp?) by the scablifter I saw after my knee-knackering incident who said 'you'll be crippled by the time you're 40'.

Hey Ho.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Osok
Some people just don't get on with running. Have you tried cycling or swimming?

The latter is fantastic exercise, it works the heart and lungs, making them more efficient while at the same time being good for weight loss. It doesn't jolt the joints and ligaments like running either.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:27, Reply)

Swimming is boring and people keep getting in your way.
Cycling is only good for those who can wear lycra without looking like a sack of rubble.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:30, Reply)

*noms KitKats*
Thank you, b3tans. I'll need a run now to work them off! :)

On an entirely unrelated note, does anyone know how, on spreadshirt.net, you can make the basket show in GBP and not Euro? For some reason, the products show in pounds but I'd have to pay in Euros.

No-one else is having this problem.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:31, Reply)

@ BGB
I don't wear lycra. Nor do I shave my leg hair like some cyclists.

I've been doing it for years.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:34, Reply)

swimming
is ace.

apart from communal changing rooms. and the showers.

and the horrible footwash they make you walk through.

and the smell of chlorine.

and all the people who get in the way when I want to do backstroke.

edit: and all the really unhealthy snacks they have in vending machines in the foyer. why do they tempt me with Lion Bars and prawn cocktail crisps when I'm trying to be healthy? damn them!

but apart from that, swimming ftw!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:35, Reply)

PJM
Cycling - well, I've not been doing much of that since the fencepost incident and the resultant knacked ribs (however I can tell with 100% reliability if there's a thunderstorm due ever since), swimming I love but I can't find a decent pool with sensible opening hours.

I'm trying to build up the knee gradually by fairly aggressive walking, moving to jogging, then to running, but all this working away from home bollocks puts regular routines in the bin.

Let's face it, I may just have to give up beer and get back on the weights....the horror.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:36, Reply)

can I recommend swimming in the sea?
much more interesting, less people in the way, more invigorating, no footwash

if you combine it with a wetsuit it's not cold, and then get a board and you are on your way to having some of the most fun possible.

surfing will change your life (for the better)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:36, Reply)

Swimming pisses me off
Mainly because I can't see very well. (I'm -10 for those who know) So I wear disposable contacts under goggles and that's a faff.

I get bored too.

And the changing rooms smell.

And it's expensive. £3.50!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:39, Reply)

Power walking is ace if the weather stays dry.
Still gets your heart rate up and you can listen to music and watch the world go by as you stomp around.

I have a tendancy to walk fast anyway so it's ideal for me.

I just wish it would stop bloody raining so I can do it as often as I want.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:43, Reply)

@BGB
power walking is much better than what I see most people doing in the street which is moving limbs in jogging motion will travelling slower than a medium walk.

what's the fucking point? extra joint damage with the added benefit of providing less exercise than walking?

stupid joggers.

edit: check these out. some impressive photos from the olympics
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Mrs. L
Minus ten?
Ouch...
I'm minus eightish, and that's bad enough :(
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Do you think that Olympic swimmers
have to go through that little foot wash pool before they get in the main one?

Funny how you never see a swimmer in a Verucca sock, isn't it?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:47, Reply)

@ Kaol
Minus 10, fuck yeah!

Does mean that I get my eye tests on the NHS, and £12 off my glasses!!

I worked in opticians for about 7 years and the highest prescription I ever dispensed was -32.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:52, Reply)

So...
How bad do you have to be to get registered as "partially sighted"?

Is minus 32 correctable all the way?
Was it an epic contact lens and glasses combo?
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 11:54, Reply)

Power walking
Reminds me of an old Mary Whitehouse Experience episode, where Hugh Dennis described Power Walking as like "trying to leave the scene of a potential fight in a leisurely fashion without breaking into a run, so that you still look hard".

Brilliant.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:00, Reply)

*puts on opticians hat*
You are registered as partially sighted when your vision cannot be corrected to 6/6 (which is the English for 20/20, 20/20 is American) I'm not sure what it has to be, I think 6/20 but I can't remember.

Only having one eye does not class you as partially sighted.

The -32 was corrected with Gas Permeable (hard) contact lenses, which can be made to any prescription up to + or - 50.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:07, Reply)

PJM
Thats also known as the "100 metres Nonchalant Walk"
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:14, Reply)

That's pretty interesting!
-50 is a scary prospect though.

I'm glad I can see without my glasses, even if it's blurry as hell.
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:16, Reply)

I had a real go at a customer once
He had his first set of reading glasses and was moaning like hell. Not about the cost but about the fact that his eyes were "so bad".
I got really fed up and told him that I had been wearing glasses since I was 8 and literally can't see my hand in front of my face, but I consider myself lucky as there are people in this world who would give anything to have my level of vision for just one day.

I used to be such a grumpy sod.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:20, Reply)

Mrs. L...
I'd've broken his nose, that'd give him something to moan about.

Or cut his ears off. Then he'd not be able to wear glasses.
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:26, Reply)

@Kaol
pince-nez?

One day, when I'm old enough, I'm getting a pince-nez, pipe and pocket watch.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:40, Reply)

Baz
and a smoking jacket! Mmm...very hot indeed.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:40, Reply)

@Clenderton
It would look ace alright but I couldnt wear it all the time. Too hot. I'm a t-shirts, shorts and sandals man outside the office. Picture that!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:43, Reply)

See... Pince-nez
Is French...
Pince is the word for something like a crab's claw.

So, CLAW-NOSE!
*shrugs*

This stream-of-consciousness sponsored by Lack Of Sleep^TM
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:43, Reply)

I am picturing that.
Sounds fine to me.

I want a cigarette holder like my great-grandma used to have.

(Clenderton? Tres sophistique!)
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:44, Reply)

Enzyme in a smoking jacket
Yes, I can see that...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:46, Reply)

Well...
my guess would have been Lobachevsky. But only because he's (in)famous...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:49, Reply)

@Loon
have you heard the Tom Lehrer song about Lobachevsky?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:08, Reply)

@Clenderton
yeah, and a silver cigarette box. I keep a stash in an ornate little wooden box on the shelf. Cigarettes are ace.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:10, Reply)

Oh yes. That's how I know of him.
In truth, although there was suspicion of plagiarism, it was only a minor flap. Lehrer wrote that song about him simply because he liked the name.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:16, Reply)

it does make a good song and remains true to this day
I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:
Plagiarize!

Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize -
Only be sure always to call it please 'research'.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:32, Reply)

@Baz
Cigarettes are indeed ace, but have just remembered that I roll my own and therefore the cigarette holder thing might not work very well. I can't imagine I will look very swish with a bent, unsmokeable fag crammed into it.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:37, Reply)

what if...
the holder was cast in a bendy shape too?

Then you would look dashing and debonair.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:40, Reply)

I reckon it would be easy to make a rollie
sturdy enough to use with a holder

just the use of a cardboard roach would do the job and they would be fat enough unless you are smoking prison rollies
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:44, Reply)

You're right!
In the absence of bendy cigarette holders, I will attempt to roll something sturdy and yet classy. Bit like the Queen.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:52, Reply)

how many lurkers are there
waiting for the 100?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:57, Reply)

no idea
wooo!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:58, Reply)

Is there anything B3tards will not race for?
1st post
Last post
100th answer to a post


I like getting the 69th answer to a post because that's just the kind of person I am.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:05, Reply)

I never know how many posts there have been
because I just F5 whenever I have the chance to post.

But I was first on QOTW once - yes, first.
*prouds*
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:09, Reply)

I was first on a QOTW...
Lots of times.
Because I'm fantastic.
Doesn't happen so much with my new job.

And I got the BEST answer once.
That's right, I'm like Jesus, but twice as real.
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:14, Reply)

Yes Kaol, we know.
*rolls eyes*

When am I buying you a beer next?
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:16, Reply)

I'm not sure!
After your holiday I guess...
Depends on my London situation :p
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Righty-ho!
*looks forward to future beer*
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:20, Reply)

'ello ello ello!
Woss goin' on 'ere, then?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:24, Reply)

nuffin' guv
I swear!

I ain't dun nuffin!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:26, Reply)

Oh Tightly!
How nice to see you!
*hides evidence of wrong-doing under cushion*
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:27, Reply)

You can hide what you like, Clenderton
but he knows. Just look at his sig.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:28, Reply)

Damnit!
*blushes furiously*
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:35, Reply)

afternoon all
I have returned.

What gives with the weather.
This is the first time since I was 16 that I've had six weeks off in the summer and the weather's gone to shit.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:35, Reply)

Clenderton & Tightly, eh?
Makes me think Jeeves & Wooster-ish thoughts.

Howdy chaps.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Clenderton & Tightly esq.
Bespoke tailors to Gentlefolk and Theatre types.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:39, Reply)

Howdy Wookers
Clenderton and Tightly indeed!

Where's my cigarette holder?
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:41, Reply)

I think this is called for
www.thechap.net/content/section_magazine/latest-issue.html
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:41, Reply)

^shriek!
A cravat! Darling, yes!
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:44, Reply)

ah, The Chap
inventors of Trouser Semaphore. Very useful way of keeping things 'In Lodge', so to speak.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:45, Reply)

Lord Sir Tightly, Esq.
At your service, what!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:46, Reply)

I dunno...
...I tend to suspect any organisation/thing/magazine/polotical party that has a manifesto. Too damn organised thinking for my liking.
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:46, Reply)

This is smashing!
I am a loyal sidekick to Lord Sir Tightly!
Together we can solve crimes of a beastly nature.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:52, Reply)

I've found a source for the smoking jacket
www.murdermysterystore.co.uk/product.asp?item=178
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:52, Reply)

cravats!
www.tomsawyerwaistcoats.co.uk/subprod/day-cravats-0001761.aspx
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:55, Reply)

this just in
photos from my band's quick photoshoot last night

we look like idiots :-)

but then, you can only work with what you are given
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:56, Reply)

I say, Clenderton!
The Baskervilles have been on again - something to do with hounds on the moors. It seems terribly urgent and they require your attention immediately.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:56, Reply)

Loving the sig, Fireflier!
Oh dear, the hounds.
*regrets never having read any Sherlock Holmes*

Erm, Tightly? Any suggestions? Perhaps I could nip down the shops for a few cans of Chum.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:58, Reply)

I say!
There's a commercial-looking type demanding entrance - an Inspector Lestrade if the dem counter-jumper is to be believed. Something about a Blue Carbuncle, a goose, and frankly it sounds like the chappie has been over-doing the Laudanum.

Yrs, Colonel Sebastian Moran, late Indian Army, VC, DSO, KCMG, FUBAR BUNDY, CTD, ETC.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:04, Reply)

@Vipros
Pics are ok.

What's the age limit on groupies?
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:09, Reply)

@Vipros
Some of them are rilly good! I like Split Tree the best.

@Everyone else: dashed criminals everywhere, what?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:09, Reply)

we didn't have much time last night
hence the overuse of playground equipment

split tree, wall1 and thing are my favourites.

@BGB: as far as I know there is no age limit for groupies, might have to check with the others though. we've got an image to think of ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:11, Reply)

I say chaps
Chance has put in our way a most singular and whimsical problem, and its solution is its own reward.


*edit* @Al no I don't have any. I've looked under the bed and everything.
Have you lost Dave though?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/suffolk/7549503.stm
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:15, Reply)

I'm the one in shorts
with the largest beard and the superlative conspiracy top on

edit: @BGB: we all have beards. it's our look*




*not really

edit again: Mrs L: I like the way they say they aren't giving out more detailed descriptions but they have a photo of one of the bears right there!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:16, Reply)

@Al
I'm guessing Vipros is the beardy wierdy : )

And I take it your well again?
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Poor Al! I guess you've been living life in the fast lane too much *laughs*
Bought that cd you recommended and it's just my cup of tea, thanks.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:23, Reply)

jaysus lads! what are they called?
the band?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:27, Reply)

Oooo! haven't been to a gig in a very long time.
Problems with panic attacks meant crowds were a no go area.

In fact I think the last gig I went to was to
take my youngest sister to see Steps at the Manchester News Arena many moons ago.


Rock and Roll!!
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Afternoon folks
I left work early with what I'm taking to be the start of a throat infection so I'm sipping fennel tea feeling sorry for myself. Can legitimately have tomorrow off though!

Hope everyone else is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:39, Reply)

Fennel tea?
For fuck's sake man, no wonder you feel like crap.

*huge get-well hug*
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Yo BK
Yeah I'm fine and dandy. Get well soon!

@ Al - Claire? She had a gob of a size rivaling Kermit!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:41, Reply)

afternoon all!
I brought squirrels today instead of cake.

I have no idea why.

*releases squirrels*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Hey Hey BK
I went for a run this morning and I'm still feeling the after effects.

I'm off to make some biscuits now, a far more sensible past time.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:42, Reply)

Cheers, 'Red
Docs tomorrow first thing; really hoping it's not glandular.

And good afternoon Miss Tulip *hugs*
*chases squirrels*

*edit*@Mrs L
What type of biscuits, and will they be distributed later? *cough, custard creams, cough*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:43, Reply)

yay, a hug!
*hugs BK*

*watches squirrel chase*

*giggles*

edit@al - can I come off the naughty list now perlease?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:43, Reply)

*nails bastard tree-rats to door*
Abandon hope all ye who enter here.
( Cawl, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:44, Reply)

Aren't squirrels rodents?
*worries*

I don't like rodents.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:45, Reply)

but - but...
...they were *sobs* RED squirrels!

*cries*

*cries at being made to stay on the naughty list*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:51, Reply)

*hands hlt a kitten*
Blow your nose on that; it'll be ok.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:52, Reply)

< caesar stylee >
Release the cats!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:53, Reply)

BK
Do you still like lasagne?
I thought you threw some up the other night.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:53, Reply)

@clendrix
One bad experience isn't enough to stop me.
Got the last of it to finish this evening. *yums*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:55, Reply)

*blows nose on kitten*
thanks Mr BK

*hugs*

*puts snotty kitten down al's t-shirt*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Excuse me...
But you left Faye Tozer out of the equation. I would've eaten her with a spoon.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:03, Reply)

*returns hug*
You're welcome.
I'm chivalrous like that. Keep a supply of kittens for putting over puddles, wedging doors open, that kind of thing.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:04, Reply)

@ BK
I saw that Ninja G appear!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:05, Reply)

BK
Oh well, at least it doesn't sound like you have a high temperature!

Hope you'll be OK though.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:08, Reply)

@Ethelred
Guilty!
I'm really bad for not spell-checking before I send.

*edit*@clendrix
No high temperature. Glands around me neck are quite tender though which is worrying.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:09, Reply)

@ al
That's ace!

And it looks just like me too.

*beams*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:10, Reply)

Right I'm off home.
Admitting to Steps being the last gig I went to has taken it's toll and I need to go home and take a deep breath.

Catch you later.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:10, Reply)

Aww BGB
Steps aren't that bad.

If you're 12. :-P
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:13, Reply)

@ BK
There seems to be a bit of it about just now. I picked up what I thought was a throat infection at the weekend, but it's turned into a mild (read - iritating) cold and cough. Still knocked me for 6 a bit though...
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:26, Reply)

@Fireflier
That's what I'm hoping it is.
Last time I had anything glandular I was off work for five months and went down to 7 stone. I did not look well.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:37, Reply)

@ BK
7 Stone !?!

Thats scarily light
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:42, Reply)

I was 17,
and weighed about 9 normally at that point.
I seem to hover between 10.5 and 11 stone eleven years later.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:46, Reply)

I feel heavy
I hover around 13 stone :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:49, Reply)

No, that's normal
It's not like I don't eat either (see sig!)

Someone make me a badge!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:50, Reply)

As you wish


(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:03, Reply)

Richard Madley
Just said COCK on live telly!

Whats the odds on him saying cunt?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:05, Reply)

Ethel!
That's fab!
*hungries*

Mrs Bin - high, if he starts talking to himself.
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:05, Reply)

@ Clenny
Thankies, I'm getting back into the realms of Paint. It seems to be paying off, one thinks.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:06, Reply)

@Ethelred
Yes! That's great, thank you!
Now in profile.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:14, Reply)

I've made myself one
In my profile now :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:18, Reply)

I want one!
*sobs*

I'm going to learn how to do it and make myself something!
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:30, Reply)