6 weeks is WAAAAY to long to go between paydays.
Best treat yourself, whatcha gonna treat yourself too?

Alt: So basicly what you're all saying is, right, that nobody wants to assosiate themselves on here with their real life self?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:22, 117 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

i'm taking my dad away this weekend as his christmas present
so that'll have to do.

alt: the ones I've met are great, and we have some hilarious nights out. but random people stumbling across the site on google or something, not so much.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Incest lols

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:28, Reply)

well, yeah
what's more lolarious than incest?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Just ask Fritzl

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Goin' anywhere nice?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:37, Reply)

I'm going to buy some fruit trees

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:26, Reply)

They will match your fruity dog
* is actually jealous of fruit trees *
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Apparently Aldi are doing 2yr old ones for £2.99

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:29, Reply)

We dont have Aldi in the lakes mate
Boothes or Waitrose. And also the Coop in the village
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:31, Reply)

worst letter of claim i ever had to write
dear garden centre

5 years ago, my boss bought a monkey puzzle tree from you.

it has now died.

please replace it, or he'll sue you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:33, Reply)

and actually
dear carpet people

my stupid dad bought a pale cream carpet from you.

he immediately stained it in several places by failing to take off his shoes as he came in.

the stains won't come out.

give him a new one, or he'll sue you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:33, Reply)

2 reasons why people hate lawyers right here folks^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:35, Reply)

it worked though
I got my boss a new baby monkey puzzle tree, and my dad got a new carpet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Why would anyone replace a 5yr old tree?
fucking idiots. However you realise that you probably caused them to put up the price for everyone else
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:41, Reply)

Don't tell her that, she'll put her prices up too

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:43, Reply)

35p per handy J
its extortion I tell you
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:45, Reply)

negotiation, like all these things
essentially my boss spent a fortune in there on a regular basis because he had exotic fish, and they didn't want to lose him. so they gave him a baby tree as a compromise, everyone was happy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:48, Reply)

Everyone should have a lemon tree and ALL TEH URBZ

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:38, Reply)

i'd love to have pretty lemon trees or something on my balconies
but I am simply too inept to look after them properly, and they would die.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Don't you have a guy to do that? I can get you a guy if you want, I have guys who get guys.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:43, Reply)

So Jay then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:46, Reply)

I don't trim bushes, dear.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:49, Reply)

i need windy pig
turned the light on in my lounge last night; the lights flickered wildly and I could SEE orange flamey stuff moving around behind the plaster work, and the switch started smoking.

I panicked and spent about an hour in the dark staring at it (may have been drinking) before thinking fuck it and going to bed. now I need a bastard electrician.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Yeah that's not healthy!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:59, Reply)

When was the building last rewired?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:01, Reply)

When they split all the flats in half

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:03, Reply)

i had all the electrics overhauled when i bought it about 7 years ago
and then I had the light fittings replaced about a year ago...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:06, Reply)

Wiring should be fine then
It may well have just been a surge at the transformer...

Best thing to do:
when you get in take a shower and ensure that you are still wet from head to foot...

If possible have a bowl of water handy to stand in...

Turn on as many electrical items as you can...

and then run your (still wet) hands over the plaster work to see if you can locate any charge.

HTH's
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:10, Reply)

do you really think that will work?
I already have curly hair, I don't want a perm...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:13, Reply)

Insert a lightbulb (low wattage)
into your rectum to ensure the current doesn't go to your hair
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Probably a new jumper.
Alt: No, I mean yes. Oh, I dunno.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:27, Reply)

I could do with some new clothes, my ones are quite gargantuan on me these days.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Clothes and shoes are my favourite things to buy for myself.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:39, Reply)

I thought you were a bloke?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:41, Reply)

Technically

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:47, Reply)

nope

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:48, Reply)

I'm not doing any of the many man things for you anymore.
And I do mean *that* AND that.....
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:50, Reply)

opening jars and changing lightbulbs yeah?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:50, Reply)

Those light bulbs will probably outlast you anyway

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:51, Reply)

see above
I think he's fitted exploding ones to finish me off :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:53, Reply)

You are a fucking idiot.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:54, Reply)

I always thought you were an Oyster catcher

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:50, Reply)

Haha, 'swipes is a faghag.
Sweet, whats your style?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:42, Reply)

I wear jeans and jumpers with boots.
Actually, tbh, I was struggling to think what I do 'treat' myself to, and the only time I spend money on myself is boring stuff like that.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:49, Reply)

Get a "Pebble Steal" watch

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:10, Reply)

I get paid weekly, so I'm all good.
Still treat myself with my disposable income though.

Some people are a bit concerned with their bosses seeing them using this in company time. Or people stalking and telling.
I'd be more concerned about the photos that have been posted than names.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Dear Jason
When you are grown up and get a proper job you will find that employers will pay you a salary which is a monthly stipend.
Fond regards
Bonz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:28, Reply)

I work for a company that makes a hell of a lot of money, with very rich bosses, who pay me generously for doing nigh of fuck all.
Stick your proper job!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Zingzilla

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Dear B-Dog,
I was somewhat saddened to hear your views on the frequency of pay, being weekly paid myself, and the importance of your career choice relative to that. I think you are wrong in this instance.

Regards,

D-Frog
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Dearest D-Frog
While I hold you in the highest of regards I can only disagree with your payment terms. Weekly pay is the preserve of the manual worker or Pleb, Salary (from the habit of legionnaires being paid in salt) is and only should be a monthly recompense.
I hope this clarifies the situation for you and I shall await your retraction forthwith.
Yours always
B-dog
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Yeah, good luck with them 5 week months while I get to enjoy frivolties as I please, on a weekly, if not daily basis xx

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:42, Reply)

Dear B-Dog,
Whilst this view may be correct, my personal circumstances are absolutely not in the manual working sector. In a management position, my professional and administrative role would be classed as a 'white-collar'.
I understand this may be unusual.
Yours,
F
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:46, Reply)

No income tax, no warntee, no money back, no garutnee, ammirte?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:39, Reply)

I'm going to buy a porno mag, just to blow my own mind.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:28, Reply)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Alt: Have you seen some of these people?
No wonder they're ashamed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:29, Reply)

I have not seen any of these people
But when I see myself in the mirror its bad enough
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Nononono, I see how people in your position generally misinterprates people's meanings, it's understandable and i'm sure everyone is cool with it...
I mean, people are ashamed of what they do on here; rather than being ashamed of what they do out there.

HTHT
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:40, Reply)

I dunno, I mean I'm a right prick on here
But then I'm fairly sure I'm a prick IRL as well
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:42, Reply)

I can't tell if you're Roary

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:44, Reply)

Nor can I :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:48, Reply)

He is a bit grizzly.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:50, Reply)

more records
More whisky

More trainers.

Alt: some peeps take their usage of an irreverent messageboard very seriously indeed.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:31, Reply)

I'm listening to some Public Enemy.
Which is nice.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:39, Reply)

I love Public Enemy
Is Fear of a Black Planet your favourite PE album?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:46, Reply)

Nah. Yo! is. Raise The Roof is an all-time favourite.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:01, Reply)

interesting
But the bomb squad's approach to sampling was innovative and thrilling, so imma von have to say that I prefer Nation and Black Planet to Yo.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:15, Reply)

I'm listening to Will Smith today.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:41, Reply)

The American Richard Blackwood

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:43, Reply)

He's got some proper good songs. "Lost and found" is great.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:44, Reply)

No.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:50, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:01, Reply)

He's no beyoncay

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:10, Reply)

Nothing really, I have a hobby car.
It's that that gets the treats.
( Kroney, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:32, Reply)

hobby money pit of a
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Money pits belong to people that don't enjoy spending money.

( Kroney, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:33, Reply)

don't enjoy spending money live in denial
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:34, Reply)

I hope you enjoy your company Mondeo TDi

( Kroney, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:35, Reply)

I would love a company mondeo

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:42, Reply)

Like, 10th year in a row, "I'll get my lisence this year".... eventually that ball'll drop on red

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:41, Reply)

Go on, champ

( Kroney, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:45, Reply)

My payday isn't until next Friday, you insensitive bastard.
I've just treated myself to paying my car tax and MOT. Yay me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:52, Reply)

I got paid today.
I hope this is some comfort to you during this difficult time. Just try to remember that you're an island. An isolated case in amongst the rest of the largely happy, recently paid population. Humanity will not be affected by this piece of ill-luck and shall endure into the next generation.
( Kroney, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:55, Reply)

yer i just got paid an' all

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:57, Reply)

Still, bonus paid at the end of net month as well, so woo.
And a four-week pay cycle means that one month a year has two pay days.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:57, Reply)

Gu'ED, cars seem like a lot of hassle

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:09, Reply)

I just saw the complete Police Academy boxset on Blu Ray for around £20
soooo tempting!

Alt: What would be the point?
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:54, Reply)

Gonna go out for dinner tomorrow somewhere super swanky.
How are you gonz?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 11:59, Reply)

Ooh where are you taking me?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:00, Reply)

And how roughly?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:01, Reply)

Windle is a considerate and tender lover

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:02, Reply)

Up the Aisle

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:02, Reply)

He said that ring was fr LadyPig!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:03, Reply)

Not *that* ring

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:03, Reply)

Burger king

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:09, Reply)

Do they still do those horrid veggie burgers they used to do in the 90s?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:11, Reply)

I have no idea.
Haven't set foot in one for years.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:14, Reply)

Dear tangles
Only poofs and cunts use the word horrid,
You may accept this missive as a warning and in future try the word vile.
Kind Regards
Bonz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:14, Reply)

Stop being such a horrid meany

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:15, Reply)

Sozzle bbz huggles and snuggles

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:18, Reply)

windy pig windy pig windy pig
am I going to die? I have a burny smoky light switch :((

ooooh are you doing the deed tomorrow???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:06, Reply)

Yes.
No.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:12, Reply)

I ain't too shabby, 70 hours and £27.74 smoke free, except the one I had this morning and the one I had last night.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:09, Reply)

Well, that's not smoke free is it?
Still, good lad for giving it a go.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:12, Reply)

Totally, I didn't really want to give up, wasn't even planning on it really, been 'vaping' instead, i'm so scene.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:17, Reply)

I've quit drinking except the beer last night and the whisky this morning

( Peej, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:17, Reply)

I have quit raping expect that family who I waylaid this morning

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:18, Reply)

I think it's more like "I've quit mass serial killings and instead just done a few murders"

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:29, Reply)

Worst non-smoker ever.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:20, Reply)

You're so fat you cheat on wii fit.
(Stibbins, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:09, Reply)

GOOD 1 STIBS!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:11, Reply)

CLASSIC STIBBINS

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:11, Reply)

I might have a wank
Alt I dunno, I don't think I'm much different in person. Just ask those who have met me.
( Peej, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:16, Reply)

They all said you were pretty much unintelligible
Due in part to your broad Cornish accent, and on part to the terrible malformed tumours on your face
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:23, Reply)

THATS NAT A TOOOMER

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Jan 2014, 12:29, Reply)