Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning Off TopicsersYesterday was rubbish. Today will be better. How the devil are you?
Alt: Look! An 'artist' is doing a 'project' using 'made-up words'!
madeupwordsproject.com/
What made up bullshit terms do you and your 'friends' or 'family' use for things that other people wouldn't understand?
Altalt: I have coffee and a cboissant. Do you?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 7:45,
164 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
We call shits, bagglesAlright the right honourable Frog?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 7:48,
Reply)
Alright The Dearly Departed ApeBaggles? How lovely. My family used to call the television pages of the newspaper 'The Thompus'.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 7:52,
Reply)
Someone should write me a glowing obituary (
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:01,
Reply)
I have this handyToday, B3ta hero, Baked Ape departed this realm. His ready wit and supportive nature made him the go to person when a fellow boarder was in need of solace. In his many guises, he overcame the adversity of being a bent spastic with aplomb, and never let it get him down. We are all sad at his passing. He died while sitting on the toilet.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:10,
Reply)
You're rather old for his tastes. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:21,
Reply)
id do it but I can only type these days, not write(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:10,
Reply)
A good rumbling fart. is known as a brompton in my family(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 7:59,
Reply)
yes I did somewhat allude to that, how clever of you to notice(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:20,
Reply)
He's almost clever enough to be a doctor......almost!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:48,
Reply)
I am shit thanks for asking froggles!Alt. We don't, my wife used to when we first met but I have successfully beaten and mocked her in to using proper English.
Altalt I have toast and homemade mushroom soup.
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Peej, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:20,
Reply)
sorry to hear that, im shit too but im pretending not to be. Also, soup isnt breakfast.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:21,
Reply)
In the words of the great General CalvetJe mange de la soupe à chaque repas, parce que je me souviens quand je n'avais pas soupe.
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Peej, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:26,
Reply)
Tired. Woke up at 2am, didn't get back to sleep for a couple of hours. AltAlt: I have coffee. Later I will have a sausage & egg sandwich.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:21,
Reply)
I woke up at midnight and thought it was morning and slept badly after that(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:22,
Reply)
I ended up watching this on Channel 4.www.imdb.com/title/tt0444653/?ref_=nv_sr_1
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:25,
Reply)
is that the one with a locked chest in it?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:26,
Reply)
A British comedy starring TV's Mr Bean!!!I bet it's brilliant
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:40,
Reply)
At 2am I'll watch anything if I can't sleep. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:40,
Reply)
I wont delete it but I wont post anymore today(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:27,
Reply)
That's actually better(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:31,
Reply)
I heard from the diseased tramp last night. He seems to be doing fine without this place. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:36,
Reply)
if any1 couldnt do alright without this place id be a bit worried for them(, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:37, Reply)
I realised I was running late so have cut several corners, skipped a few things etcam now ready to leave the flat 10 minutes early. Fucksocks.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:33,
Reply)
Yo. I'm off sick today. I am not well. Seriously. Vomit, runny poo, fever, more runny poo. I'm considering suicide.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:37,
Reply)
I will remind you of this next time you want a favour from me.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:46,
Reply)
No you won't (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:17,
Reply)
I might go put some runny poo on the door handles of neighbours I don't like. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:42,
Reply)
Knock knock!Who's there?
Runneep!!
Runneep who?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:51,
Reply)
Speaking as a pretend internet doctorI can only agree with your diagnosis
(, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:54, Reply)
Good morning frog, good morning everyoneToday is a fine and sunny day and I'm sure it's going to be a good one.
Alt: There seems to be a certain amount of hostility towards artists on these pages, which leads me to suspect that most of you are lowbrow oafs.
All words are made up, you silly frog.
Altalt: I have tea and no cboissant
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:38,
Reply)
look, if it isn't by Jack Vettriano then it's pretentious shitI mean, his sales figures for his prints speak volumes.
(, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:41, Reply)
I only buy art by pop stars that I like(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:47,
Reply)
the only way to judge the quality of art is by reference to commercial transactions(, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:11, Reply)
Good morningYou know exactly what I mean you pedantic nitwit, god I hate you sometimes. Sorry you don't have a cboissant :(
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:41,
Reply)
I hbope today is better than yesterday, lovexx
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:47,
Reply)
Yesterday was OK apart from some colleages being evacuated from a trade show due to the weather.Alt: No, we use English as God intended.
Altalt: I have a bacon sandwich and tea.
(, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:38, Reply)
I dont really drink normal tea, there, ive said it.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:02,
Reply)
Loose-leaf tea, properly brewed, is what made this country greatCoffee and croissants cause moral degeneracy and overall 'Frenchness'
*shudders*
(, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:14, Reply)
I'm great Frogger!I've got stuff to look forward to this year. Just booked a holiday in Scotland for August and I've got Sonisphere in July and I'm bound to have a wank at some point.
Altalt: No, I don't like coffee. The smell of it turns my stomach.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 8:58,
Reply)
glad to hear it bill, lets hope your good mood spreads happiness wherever you go(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:02,
Reply)
What? Fuck those cunts, they can get their own happiness(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:05,
Reply)
tired and got some boring emails to trawl through this morning to understand the minutiae of a dispute but tonight is 90 mins of sweaty bikram yoga and then tasty Turkish with my friend
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:02,
Reply)
What are you on about?Rach has got lots of friends
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:15,
Reply)
FuckedI was proper nodding dog watching TV last night and made it until 10:15. Coma sleep then up this morning. I still appear to have most of a house and I have coffee and tboast with peanut butter
We use "spong" or "thicket" as generic insults
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:03,
Reply)
biffing zobbo sounds like a sexual technique(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:07,
Reply)
As a pervert, you would think that. I'm appalled and disgusted.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:13,
Reply)
mnnnggg........keep......going......(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:21,
Reply)
Tired after listening to the wind try and turn my house into a convertableBut chipper apart from that, as this morning there was no damage.
Alt, being lolwaki pricks the missus and I use Yarp and Narp
I have freshly brewed coffee and a digestive
(, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:14, Reply)
I got drenched by 'the weather' four separate times yesterday. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:15,
Reply)
I don't know what all the fuss is aboutThere are glorious blue skies here
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:16,
Reply)
Yes, there are here too. the key is 'yesterday'(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:17,
Reply)
Well, I mean, it was a bit blowy, but that's all(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:18,
Reply)
Haha she is rather flatulent, yes!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:21,
Reply)
I've just been for a blood testMight go to work shortly.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:17,
Reply)
Me too.The last time I had AIDS if was a nightmare to shake off.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:19,
Reply)
Still, if it is terminal you get to wear a charity branded baseball cap.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:20,
Reply)
Just maintain a Positive Mental Attitude© Kris Akabussi
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:23,
Reply)
I bet it's brain disease (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:19,
Reply)
Everyone has variations of "doofer" for the television remote control, right?Other than that, I find "wing-wang" adequately describes any object I can't be bothered to think of the correct name for:
"Where's the ... wing-wang ... for the doofer?"
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:25,
Reply)
... is the CORRECT answer!*applause*
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
Hey, anyone would have done the same, I'm just a regular guy. I don't want to be a hero, I just want to go about my business as before.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
As long as you stay about from my bins.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
My children call it The Remote ControlI feel I have been successful as a parent.
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Peej, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:37,
Reply)
You haven't.No parent is.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
Sometimes abbreviated to 'the remote'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:38,
Reply)
This is quite goodMy father-in-law used to call them 'the guns'
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:40,
Reply)
I like this.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
Living the dream, m8!(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
Could you feel it?You know, when it was up your anus?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
Good thank, yourself?Alt: What an utter bellend.
AltAlt: No, but I had a sausage butty for breakfast.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:31,
Reply)
I'm bored with this thread now AA, do a new one.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:35,
Reply)
HahSomeone in the office is working from home today as he's slaughtering his pigs later.
I do hope that's not what the voices call his wife and kids.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:36,
Reply)
One of our strategic client directors works from homeas she has to look after the sheep.
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Kroney, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:37,
Reply)
London seems to be a lot more rural than I thought(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:39,
Reply)
don't be silly tangles, nobody lives in Londonthey all live out in the countryside and commute in. You'd have to be proper mental to actually live in the city.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:42,
Reply)
And I have a delightful houseboat moored just off Stanford le Hope(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:47,
Reply)
You've spelt cboissant wrong.Actually you've spelt it right if this was your intention.
(, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:45, Reply)
CCCCCCC BBBBBBB EEEEEEE EEEEEEEE SSSSSSSS EEEEEEEE
C B B E E S E
C B B E E S E
C BBBBBBBB EEEEE EEEEE SSSSSSSS EEEEE
C B B E E S E
C B B E E S E
CCCCCCC BBBBBBB EEEEEEE EEEEEEEE SSSSSSSS EEEEEEEE
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:48,
Reply)
Some of your posts are like the fucking enigma code.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 10:01,
Reply)
I must've missed a a meme birthIs this a funny one?
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 9:56,
Reply)
Nah, Doc Troll originally wrote it in one of his 'doctors handwriting' posts, and I like it.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2209837
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 13 Feb 2014, 10:00,
Reply)
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