come on, even Potato Ironing Chat was better than this!
talk to us about trolls. what's the point? why don't they think "why am I doing this?"

alt: are you confrontational, a quiet resister, or a pussy? how do you get your own way?

altalt: best of all the sauces?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:07, 165 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I don't know anything about trolls and trolling

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:18, Reply)

that is because you are normal. well. for a red trousered buffoon.
those people who sit there, bashing away at their little keyboards, sending horrible things to celebs or strangers. at what point do they think, Er, my life's going a bit weird here?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:20, Reply)

^ misses point

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:22, Reply)

nah, he takes the piss
i'm talking about the real weirdos, like the ones who target the parents of murdered children or whatever
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:23, Reply)

That's not trolling, that's being a cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:25, Reply)

An unhealthy dose of self importance and cowardice, basically.
Most of them wouldn't dare do it face to face, unfortunately the internet has enabled them to make anonymous comments whilst safe in their bedsits fapping.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:30, Reply)

Fuck off you fucking shitcunt, I'll kick your fucking teeth in!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:44, Reply)

bedsit yurt
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Yes to this. The ones that troll with malice wouldn't ever do it to anyone's face.
That's why they get away with it. Because we know that past the keyboard they are weak-willed life fails.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:23, Reply)

What I don't understand is why the biggest billy goat gruff didn't go first across the bridge
Or why they didn't all go together.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:20, Reply)

because that would have made for a short, shit story

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:21, Reply)

I dunno, these questions ruin the story for me anyway.
The whole delayed gratification thing for the troll makes no sense either.
Why would he let the first goat go, on the understanding that a slightly bigger goat will probably be along in a minute?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:24, Reply)

because greed

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:28, Reply)

It's also not teaching kids good strategy when dealing with child molesters
as they probably don't want the bigger child anyway.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:29, Reply)

It's like in Jurassic Park 3, right? Bear with me.
Sam Neill and chums run into a T Rex munching on a dinosaur. Said T Rex inexplicably leaves said half-munched dinosaur to scavengers in favour of charging after tiny shaved monkeys.

Story telling lacks internal logic, is my point.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:29, Reply)

I thought paleontologists were increasingly of the opinion that Tyrannosaurus Rex was a scavenger rather than a hunter.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:37, Reply)

Apparently Dr Grant was of the old school, Tangers.
I don't know, do I? God.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)

That food was there dead, the humans provided a nice chase, and like fuck are they having it's rotting corpse!
Shoo!!
Go get your own rotting corpse, tiny humans!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:24, Reply)

It's the weird pink hair that confuses me.
They're supposed to be subterranean Nordic folk spirits, It's pretty dark underground, why the fuck are they spending a morning every few weeks bent over a bath with their hair full of dye? Who's going to see it?
( Kroney, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:23, Reply)

Goats?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:25, Reply)

GOAT LOL

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:41, Reply)

GOAT LOL

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:53, Reply)

I'm smashing.
Alt: increasingly I'm enjoying simply speaking my mind without a fuck given for whether or not the other party are offended. This is particularly satisfying when commenting to coworkers on the paucity of management we're under.

Altalt: chip shop curry sauce
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:28, Reply)

Why the FUCK has no one agreed with me about chip shop curry sauce?!
Pricks.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:54, Reply)

There aren't enough commoners here, apart from me, and I don't agree with you anyway.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:56, Reply)

not sure it's the BEST of all sauces
Still working to sort my list. I'll get back to you.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:00, Reply)

It's that or ketchup, and it ain't ketchup.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:15, Reply)

I am permanently banned from Mumsnet as a result of taking the piss there.
Alt: very confrontational, which doesn't always work in my favour.

AltAlt: gentlemans relish.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:34, Reply)

You earned that ban, though.
Trawling mumsnet for anal fun is genius.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)

I think calling them all 'hormonal hypocritical hysterical harridans' may have had something to do with it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:37, Reply)

It's a well known fact that drying up old menopausers have a deep-seated loathing of alliteration.

( Kroney, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Aye.
And men.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Fuck off, fatso!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:40, Reply)

DUNNO
ALT: YES
ALTALT: MARMITE
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:40, Reply)

Marmite?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)

NICE

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)

I thought so

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:47, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:10, Reply)

alright dozer
tried a 12yo Highland Park at the weekend, very nice.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:11, Reply)

paedo

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:11, Reply)

yeah I'm not that keen on Highland Park.
It's alright I suppose.

I have Bruichladdich at the moment. Going to get more Glenfarclas next, it's well nice.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:15, Reply)

My supplies are low, so trying a few to see what's worth getting a full bottle of.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:32, Reply)

I also recommend Bruichladdich

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:33, Reply)

A TEN YEAR OLD LADDDIE!!!!!!
They also do a 22 year old.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

Bruichladdich is lovely
As is Naked Grouse.

Balvenie Doublewood worth a go as well.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

*notes*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:55, Reply)

I had a bottle of
Penderyn a couple of months back, and was surprised. didn't think the Welsh had a big tradition of whisky
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:07, Reply)

is it alright then?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:08, Reply)

It was very good
for my palate anyway, Madeira finished one (they have a few)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:14, Reply)

Also
have you tried any of the Japanese whiskys, I have always avoided them but heard good things
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:16, Reply)

you're all wrong
best of all the sauces is mayonnaise with something good in it. like pesto mayo or that smoked chilli or blue cheese mayo that they do at gbk.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:11, Reply)

You are a fucking idiot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:14, Reply)

well you need that stuff cos leaves taste of fuck all, in general.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:16, Reply)

I like them with falafel and leafy salad instead of a burger in a bun!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Is mayo a sauce or a condiment?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:20, Reply)

Stop trolling, no one eats that shit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:24, Reply)

you've had dinner with me at gbk
and that is what I had
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Was that food?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:26, Reply)

it was fucking tasty
i'm having a naked burrito at burrito bash tonight
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:27, Reply)

I'm having a burmeato

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:29, Reply)

you'll have the gay beans and the bent chicken

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:33, Reply)

ALL THE MEATS

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

monty'd better have his chastity belt
RIP
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:36, Reply)

NO SAUSAGES

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Depends on the food:
With steak: chimmichurri or blue cheese.
With roast beef: red wine, shallot & mushroom.
With roast lamb: white onion.
With roast chicken: bread.
With venison: port & juniper berry.

Etc.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:20, Reply)

All of the above are fine with simply ketchup.
You hipster.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Twat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:23, Reply)

those are rotting animal corpses
not "food"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:26, Reply)

I bet you wear leather.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:35, Reply)

well duh
I don't have any ethics. I just think eating rotting corpse is gross.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:39, Reply)

But wearing flayed skin soaked in piss isn't.
Cool.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:45, Reply)

i don't know what you get up to in barnet
but that's not how I wash my clothes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:47, Reply)

that is how leather is made though

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:52, Reply)

yeah but you wear it on the OUTSIDE, not the INSIDE
this is the only case where that counts for more
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:57, Reply)

I am SO hot right now.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Oh God knows. I think they absolutely have sociopathic tendancies.
I sometimes tweet horrible things to "celebrities" but only if they deserve it.
There are weird ones on here and no mistake, but it passes the time doesn't it?

I get my own way by being lovely, and able to negotiate.
I am confrontational if people take the piss but I have a very high tolerance level.

alt. depends what with innit. Hot sauce makes everything better.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:20, Reply)

get fucked you homo prick

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Suck my balls you whiskey soaked skater boy.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:29, Reply)

stop cyber bullying me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:35, Reply)

oh dear
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2541696/Haribo-told-stop-selling-racist-sweets-customers-Scandinavia-depict-primitive-African-Asian-Native-American-art.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Daily Fail strikes again.
Why do people take their stories seriously?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:31, Reply)

because, and this can never be stated enough or too strongly
because people are fucking thick
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:31, Reply)

Where's Daddy's Haribo Coons?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

they put the watermelon ones in tangfastics for the blicks

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:36, Reply)

those watermelon ones were excellent
gutted that they've gone. see also when revels replaced the coffee cunts with strawberry deliciousness.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:39, Reply)

people who liked 'watermelon' also liked 'fried chicken' and 'not being able to swim'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:40, Reply)

and sickle cell anaemia.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:45, Reply)

and having an extra leg bone to run faster

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:46, Reply)

and fucking fat white birds

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:46, Reply)

*blacks up*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:52, Reply)

I think they should stop selling white chocolate! WHITE! RACIST!

( Peej, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:31, Reply)

ello der mon

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:31, Reply)

this is how my uncle answers the phone
this is why I never call him
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Battered needs a ladder to answer the phone.
AND THAT'S JUST THE ONE ON THE FLOOR!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:33, Reply)

why?
who would ever call him?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

NOT YOU!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

I once found someone trying to scam people on facebook in to paying money for the funeral arrangements to their daughter who died
I took it upon myself to inform the people replying that the daughter never existed and its just a scam to get money. Boy did I feel justified.

About 2 years later I discovered that you have an "other" mailbox on facebook that mail from people who aren't friends with you goes to. It was full of messages from her friends and family saying the mother was distraught at my comments and that they have spent hours trying to stop her crying. They were threatening to sue me if I didn't make a public retraction of my claims and a full public apology. These messages were accompanied by news links about the death of their daughter. Ooops! Still, it was 2 years ago now and I still haven't been sued so I guess I win.
( Peej, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Did you get the money?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Yeh 60k for 6 months work

( Peej, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:31, Reply)

TAX FREE!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:32, Reply)

i don't get out of bed for that
sorry
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:34, Reply)

don't can't

for that without a winch and an orca sling
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:45, Reply)

fuck off and sort out my tesco

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Christ knows, wondered that myself a number of times
It was mildly amusing when I was 15, but now it's just tiresome.

Alt: I get my own way, often by convincing the other party that it was their idea in the first place.

AltAlt: Depends what you're having, really.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:56, Reply)

clickin dis

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:57, Reply)

I clicked it first

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:58, Reply)

No I did.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:58, Reply)

the evidence suggests otherwise

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:00, Reply)

While you were busy bashing out 'clickin dis' with your ham hands, I actually clicked it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:02, Reply)

Actually I clicked on it before it was posted, so ner

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:05, Reply)

Ok you win this time

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:06, Reply)

I clicked so hard my finger broke.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:01, Reply)

you haven't lived until you've read an AA post
Straight Outta Skem.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:57, Reply)

he's the best one here

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:59, Reply)

read an AA post overcome having clown feet
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:59, Reply)

for god's sake
don't get him on about feet again, the foot fetishist weirdo.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:01, Reply)

Maybe that's where it comes from? It is only petite feet that get him going.
Reet petite
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:02, Reply)

I love cute feet

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:06, Reply)

you fucked Bella and went crying to your dad over a 900 pound debt yet still found money to go to the pub and get takeaways three nights a week, plus weekends

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:05, Reply)

If you say so

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:38, Reply)

Don't be knocking Skem. My dad was born in it.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:10, Reply)

I'm assuming he escaped rather than be doomed to a life of minimum wage employment and renting a room in a shared house.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:12, Reply)

Skem was built as a "new town" for overspill from Liverpool
Make of that what you will
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:17, Reply)

Skem was a town before a new town..
My dad was born in 1921 in Smith Street and it's still there
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:20, Reply)

Not far from my sister, there

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:36, Reply)

No it wasn't, it was in the Domesday Book
It was expanded later
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:37, Reply)

Trolls. Good question and not sure I know the answer.
So a few factors to disagree with:

Validation. Is it a failure to self validate in the conventional sense and being a cunt is easier to prove?

Needs. Does someone who does it constantly have an underlying need to do it? I would have thought so.

Are they cunts in real life? Dunno. Has anybody met one to find out?

Have I a fucken clue what I'm banging on about? Ovs not.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:06, Reply)

What exactly are they validating?
by putting others down it just highlights their own insecurities. Especially if that's all they can do.
The need is again insecurity.
IRL they are probably mostly socially awkward shut-ins or massive cunts throughout.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:18, Reply)

Attempting to validate I meant.
Agree with the insecurity.
IRL. Do you know or are you guessing?
d) Why have yoiu stomped the thread while you are still replying in it?
Fucking trolls!
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:22, Reply)

I can;t say I know trolls in real life. I wouldn't have them in my life.
Just guessing Edj.

I guess we will never know. Even scientists are baffled.
They agree with the sociopath theory though.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:24, Reply)

Why are you doing this?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:15, Reply)

Because she's got a stomach full of shit-fed carrots and shoes soaked in wee.

( Kroney, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:20, Reply)

Worst G'n'R cover ever

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:22, Reply)

i had to sit in silence for 40 minutes whilst some wannabe trainees studied an exam thing prior to interview
I was bored!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:25, Reply)