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(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What would be your ideal job/worst job?
Alt:
Pick a best/worst job for a b3tan
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:53,
156 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Before anyone else says it - I should be a window cleaner in a model village.
Cunts.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:54,
Reply)
haha!
I like it
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
Test pilot for Airfix
Scalextric test driver
etc.
/dadjokes
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:03,
Reply)
I would like to be a multi billionaire heiress
Alt: you should be a goat impersonator
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:55,
Reply)
you must be kidding
/dadjokes
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:56,
Reply)
yes!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
You finally had your stump chopped off then?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
When I grow up I want to be a muthafuckin hustla
Or work in a paper shop
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:55,
Reply)
Free sweets!!!
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:56,
Reply)
I used to live in a sweet shop, fact fans
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
No wonder you're so fat
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
My lifelong love of shit sweets comes from this
Haribo 4LYF
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:58,
Reply)
They don't sound very nice
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:58,
Reply)
maoam stripes are quite nice
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:59,
Reply)
Calm down AA
You're still on probation from your last crime spree
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
Oh, the candy man CAN
and almost certainly will
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:02,
Reply)
*bo diddleys*
youtu.be/G6Vw9RGm1tM
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
nice
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:59,
Reply)
Ah, that's the life
Sitting down all day, drinking tea...oh wait a minute.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:02,
Reply)
I'd like to be a field sales representative called Paul, employed by a large biscuit manufacturer.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
Is that a manufacturer of large biscuits or a large manufacturer of biscuits?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:58,
Reply)
second one, large biscuits are a gimmick, i'm into serious biscuits
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:59,
Reply)
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:02,
Reply)
Is that a normal sized biscuit next to Battered's big mug of tea?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:03,
Reply)
That cup of tea just ain't gonna do it.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:04,
Reply)
Cant dunk, wont dunk
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:05,
Reply)
I used to like youcow, I really did
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
It really was too specialist to compete effectively against youtube
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
:o(
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
awhat is your take on dunking biscuits
Right or wrong, techniques, best biscuit etc?
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:02,
Reply)
Bite both ends off a twix, then suck your coffee through it until it feels warm
Then scoff the lot. Also works with kit kat (chunky or regular), topic, toffee crips and (for the carfeul professional) Penguin.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:04,
Reply)
Twirl wins here
although I'm aware that isnt a biscuit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:05,
Reply)
Ooh yes
Although a little messy
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
I have heard you like to suck a chocolate stick or two
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
Once you go choc, you never go bock!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
can.....open......worms......everywhere......
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:04,
Reply)
As usual, everyone thinks they know better than the professional
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:05,
Reply)
I court controversery.
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
Not least with your atrocious spelling
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
only a sick toothless headwrong would ever dunk a biscuit
see also bread in soup. urrrrrrrrgh.
why make something nice and crunchy all soggy and mushy? why?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
*shakes head slowly*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
and then you fill your soup full of mushy crumbs
gross
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
"No double dipping!!"
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
see above
Dunking bread into soup is one of life's simple pleasures
A McVities dark chocolate Homewheat into a brew is also fucking perfection
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
no no no
the only thing here that's simple... is YOU!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
Vote time
Team cow or team swipe
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Team Cow.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
I don't want to choose! why can't we all live together anymore?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
There can be only one
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
GO COWS!!!!!!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
Coalition cow!
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
Dont mention Coal in the NE
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
TEAM COW!
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
Team Cow
But to be fair that could apply to both camps...
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
ouch
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
What I aint done nuffink I werent even there
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
Cow
and choc Hob Nob ftw
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
I like you again.
xxx
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
\o/
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
Are you talking about sex?
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
If you like, gaz me yeah? xx
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
You are a fucking idiot.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
^this^
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
Oh, Swipe.
You are missing out on some simple pleasures in life.
HobNobs can be a bit iffy mind.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:16,
Reply)
Wow!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:58,
Reply)
Alt: Nakers - Catholic priest
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
hahaha!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:58,
Reply)
I'd like to be a real doctor.
Like Diagnosis Murder. Solvingcrimes and stuf. Or a biscuit salesman.
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 9:59,
Reply)
Prosthetic limb salesman.
Or biscuits.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:03,
Reply)
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
Cadburys Hands
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
Sugary dessert hands.
Oh the irony.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
HAHAHAHA
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
(Not so) Happy Feet.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
ee oo
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
kate middleton's got a pretty cushy one, talk about money for nothing
for a serious job, i'd like to be an rspca lawyer, pushing for hard sentences and fines for cunts who mistreat animals.
alt:
rory: grief counsellor
gonz: chef (although i'd let him write the menus, he'd improve them no end)
battered: ballet teacher
stunned: bra-fitter or shoe salesman
monty: bank manager
ape: rocket scientist
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
RSPCA Lawyers are fucking idiots
*you fit right in*
PDSA are much better in that respect
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
For serious, making bespoke wooden furniture
for lolz, beer or whisky quality control tester.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
my friend's cunthusband does that
every time they come round, he tries to flog me a fucking £800 wooden chair
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
I think that making stuff would be cool
the only issue being I have no talent
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
I already do joinery round the house
just would like the time, money and space (big workshop and lots of expensive tools) to do it properly.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
I'll be doing some basic joinery at the weekend
Building my 2nd raised bed so bricklaying then joinery
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
many years ago I saw a programme about a bloke that
makes replacement heraldry things for churchs and the like, lived next to a wood and had a workshop out the back. the carving was superb, and he soled each one for 30k (odd) I thought that would be cool
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:25,
Reply)
They needed shoes too?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:28,
Reply)
Nice
Not sure I'd be good at carving, hence the furniture idea. Welsh dressers, expanding tables and that kind of thing.
This kind of thing
www.dudeiwantthat.com/household/furniture/fletcher-capstan-worlds-coolest-expandable-table.asp
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:30,
Reply)
Thats cool
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:38,
Reply)
Serious answer:
A prison governor.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Really?
Shitty politics and typical civil service bullshit in the Prison Service.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
Cell Block H?
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
I think it rather suits you
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
I don't understand this.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
Its from the Walking Dead
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
Is that what David Morrisey was supposed to look like?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
No, they made him less cartoony
The Governer in the comics looks like a crazy Mexican
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
I have a feeling I love the show too much to be able to read the comics.
Plus, no Daryl.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
Its like two different things TBH
No Merle either
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
Never seen it.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
My brother in law did that job.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
Lesbian tester.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
Lesbian Fixer.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
Lesbian
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
Lesbian fister.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
I want to be a star wars
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
THATS NO HAT
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
THESE ARENT THE HATS YOURE LOOKING FOR
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
THE HAT IS STRONG IN THIS ONE
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
R2HATS-D2
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
But I was going to go to the tosche station to pick up some hats!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
I used to bullseye wamp-rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two hats
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
WAMP-HATS
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
Many bothans died to bring us this hat :(
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be
unhatural
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:28,
Reply)
Fear leads to Anger
Anger leads Two Hats......
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
IT'S A CAP!!!
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:34,
Reply)
brilliant
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:35,
Reply)
I find your lack of fez disturbing
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
I have felt his presence
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:40,
Reply)
Only at the end do you realise the power of the Deerstalker
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:42,
Reply)
You are a member of the rebel alliance, and a trilby.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:46,
Reply)
I love hats
I know
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
I felt a disturbance in the fez, as if a milliner's voice cried out in terror
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
lol
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
Oh yes!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
officechuckle
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:25,
Reply)
POTD.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:36,
Reply)
I AM YOUR FEDORA!!
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:26,
Reply)
haha!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:28,
Reply)
Worst job is anything where you get micromanaged.
If you don't trust your staff to do the job they're hired for, why don't you do it yourself?
Best dream job would be getting paid to go shopping. Or dick about on the internet. Or watch telly.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
Sian Williams's personal podiatrist
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
odiatr essar
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
even better
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:28,
Reply)
I saw this and thought of you
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:34,
Reply)
cor!
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:15,
Reply)
Horrid shade of nail varnish
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:15,
Reply)
Serious
I did want to be an actor, but then I met lots of actors (mid level rep ones) and they were without exception a bunch of half witted self absorbed cunts.
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
You weren't self-absorbed enough then?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
as crazy as it sounds
I had the cunt bit down pat though
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:27,
Reply)
Don't forget half-witted
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:28,
Reply)
*is that half witted that he forgot*
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:29,
Reply)
The missus tried itfor years.
Months without work,
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:26,
Reply)
yeah she was on the game though so the pennies kept rolling in for the pimp doc
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:27,
Reply)
as a kid, i desperately wanted to be an actor
now, if there is one thing I have learned from writing shitcom scripts, it is that I really really really cannot act for shit.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:29,
Reply)
Unless the script called for....
....a fucking idiot!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
Separate beds on this break of yours then?
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:37,
Reply)
separate breaks
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:38,
Reply)
Horrible on the internet, lovely in real life, thats the rule
i just made up
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:41,
Reply)
COULD BE A DIFFERENT KIND OF BREAK, IF HE KEEPS CALLING ME A FUCKING IDIOT
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:00,
Reply)
Do a new thread please
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:03,
Reply)
I once saw a guy wearing a hat that said 'Boob Inspector' on it
I reckon that'd be a pretty good job, but you just don't see it advertised anywhere.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:32,
Reply)
and they have federal funding too
job for life, that
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:37,
Reply)
Robot would be good.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-26418358
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 10:48,
Reply)
I wouldn't mind running a B&B so I could go on Four In A Bed.
But I fear the title is misleading
Worst job would probably be at McDonalds and that. not for the actual work and free Big Macs, but working with all them spotty youths and having a superior who can't even be served for alcohol.
I think Rory should work for Samaritans, with the amount of suicide rates he could save the country a lot of money.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:14,
Reply)
I liked the couple who definitely weren't shagging because they were in separate marriages
Who, on their turn, gave a course on how to run a B&B, and then lost.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:17,
Reply)
I do watch it quite a bit but can't differentiate people.
That rich, pissed couple from Gogglebox were on. I love them.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Mar 2014, 11:33,
Reply)
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