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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Slower than Ape's treacle
Come on offtopic (not literally), sort it AHHHHHT

Tell me of your life goals aged 16, 18, 21 and now
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:34, 149 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
alright

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:36, Reply)
I am now
I have coffee
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:37, Reply)
you leave my treacle out of this

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:37, Reply)
AWITE TWEACLE?

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:38, Reply)
*pouts*

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:42, Reply)
16 - Bang chicks
18 - Bang chicks
21 - Get money, Bang chicks
Now - Change career, sell/let the house, retire at 40, bang chicks
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:41, Reply)
+kok
s boys
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:43, Reply)
I'm remarkably jealous of McBeef and his mortgage free life

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:44, Reply)
My mortgage is so small it wouldn't make a 'life changing' difference not to have it, but I still don't have enough to pay it off

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:53, Reply)
my is qiute large
luckily the overinflated london property market has increased my LTV massively
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:57, Reply)
I own 84% of my house now.

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:01, Reply)
reduced it

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:01, Reply)
you know what i eman

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:02, Reply)
i had no life goals at any of those ages, i was too busy "living in the moment"


The moment being a nickmname for you mum
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:42, Reply)
What about kids?
I'd never even thought about having them until I was 30
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:44, Reply)
not till i was 28 or so I suppose

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:45, Reply)
How long have you and Mrs Ape been together?

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)
since we were 21

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:47, Reply)
...and she's put up with you THIS long?

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:48, Reply)
yerr, 12 years in October
she must be thicker than Tangles wife
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:55, Reply)
*thick wife fives*

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:56, Reply)
*12 years in October fives*

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:56, Reply)
it's a fucking long time...

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:59, Reply)
And when did you decide to start touching them on the cunt?

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)
hahahahaha!
officemassivesnortlol
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:47, Reply)
have sexytimes with ladies
for all of them
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:42, Reply)
Shame that didnt work out for you

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:43, Reply)
I'm still working on it

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:47, Reply)
^^^this

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:52, Reply)
it's the nice sort of goal
where once you've achieved it you just keep going.
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:55, Reply)
^^^tggi

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:58, Reply)
All I've ever wanted to do is spend my days sitting in an office, trading insults with strangers that I can't see.

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:44, Reply)
LIVING THE DREAM

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:45, Reply)
Cunt!
hth
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)
Thanks edj
prick
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)
In other news I have a puncture. £180. Thank fuck for iPads keeping small children entertained whilst the tyre is replaced.

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)
I have to give a man £360 for a drawing tonight

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:47, Reply)
Wow, they must be some size of curtains!
/monkhouse
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:03, Reply)
LIke YMs beef

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:06, Reply)
for your Volvo?
have you got it on 20" rims and low profile tyres or summit?
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:55, Reply)
They had to close a bridge to get it to the garage

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:56, Reply)
If only cars had some sort of spare tyre that you could use

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:58, Reply)
Lot of them don't these days
Most have a space saver bike wheel thing which gets you to the garage and no more, some (including bloody expensive ones) just have a can of "puncture foam", which is no good if the tyre shreds itself on the motorway......
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:01, Reply)
Only a space saver. Not a full size spare.

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:01, Reply)
Damn those swedes

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:02, Reply)
NO LUNCH CHAT

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:05, Reply)
225 R50s. 17". Standard.

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:02, Reply)
i can get you one on blackcircles for £60 fitted
hope this helps
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:04, Reply)
Probably a remould.

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:08, Reply)
it's an economoy
cheapest branded are £120
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:10, Reply)
16 find better drugs
18 find better clubs
21 find better girls
Now find better sofas
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:47, Reply)
this^

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:47, Reply)
this sounds like my experience of oxford

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:56, Reply)
Are the drugs, clubs and girls all shit in Oxford?

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:57, Reply)
the drugs seemed alright, but I was young and had nothing to compare them to
clubs are uber shit, girls isn't something i really found out about :(
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:58, Reply)
Money and bitches. At every age.

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:51, Reply)
I think my "bitches" age was from about 19-27
Otherwise it was enough money to buy beer
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:53, Reply)
16 - Break my daily wanking record
18 - Stop being such a social retard and go drink loads and get some sex
21 - Stop drinking so much, pay off debts and propose
NOW - Drink and wank heavily to distract from massive debts and lack of social life
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:56, Reply)
Is your debt more than £900?

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 9:57, Reply)
Whoa! It's not THAT bad
If I cut down on drumstick lollys and The Beano for a few weeks I should be able to glimpse daylight.
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:01, Reply)
thank god for that
I was worried you'd fallen as far as AA had
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:06, Reply)
You know how someone came up with 'Farage's Garage' in that pun thread I did yesterday?
www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Cambridge/PICTURES-Farage-Garage-guerrilla-UKIP-graffiti-artists-spray-party-leaders-face-across-row-of-garages-in-Cambridge-as-protest-against-treatment-of-hard-working-right-thinking-garage-owning-Brits-20140513054030.htm
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:16, Reply)
I love those kind of threads yesterday
BAD PUNS AHOY
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 10:51, Reply)
My favourite one was a dance-music/politics one based on Millibands One Nation speech.
One of my friends won with 'Margaret Thatcher on No U-Turn recordings'.

I was quite proud of Moving Shadow Cabinet and 808-State Secretary though.
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:03, Reply)
5 hours work from yesterday has been lost due to my IT monkeys incompetence
I just had a hissy fit in the middle of the office and called them all the cunts under the sun.

I will now have to go and apologise to compound my misery.
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:07, Reply)
hahahaha!
You fucking mong
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:08, Reply)
I know.
One of them is going to get a fucking slap if he talks to me again.
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:09, Reply)
Start a new thread

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:26, Reply)
this^

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:49, Reply)
I have done

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:54, Reply)
Newslink ironolols
www.theguardian.com/music/2014/may/13/bats-bite-ozzy-osbourne-building-plans
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:12, Reply)
It's like Chompy never went away.

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:12, Reply)
I'm SICK
You lot are not entertaining me :(

Listening to a bit of illicit Farrell with lemmy instead.

16 - good GCSEs, go out lots
18 - good a-levels, go out lots
21 - good degree, go out lots

The 2 are not always compatible
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:45, Reply)
does Lemmy travel from Folkstone to west Ken?

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:48, Reply)
No
Neither of frog's birds go down there!
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:50, Reply)
have you ever been?

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:52, Reply)
Nope
Maybe now it's sunny. He prefers to come here as he works in London anyway
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:53, Reply)
i bet he lives on some cardboard boxes under the pier

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:54, Reply)
OI

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Like there's a pier
It's no weston
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:59, Reply)
Speaking of which, where's b3th these days??

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 12:00, Reply)
beached off Newfoundland

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 12:07, Reply)
not entertaining!
Did you not see my chive photo?
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:54, Reply)
I blotted it out
You used to be cool, man
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 12:00, Reply)
I bet this will ruffle some feathers.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-27405467
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:48, Reply)

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