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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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People are shit and stupid.
Discuss with examples.
Or not. I don't care. Just fucking distract me from my meaningless existence, you cunts.
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:25,
147 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
All the fucking ENGERLUND stuff everywhere
Why do they put flags in their windows? What is the purpose? To show their support of the England football team? Who fucking cares? Is a footballer going to walk past a shitty maisonette in Buckland and think "Wow, they really want us to win! I'm going to football my absolute hardest this summer!"
ok, rant over.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:29,
Reply)
There's nothing wrong with liking watching football, obviously
But these people need to get a grip. It's only a bloody game.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:31,
Reply)
I saw some photos on the BBC. Every single one of them
was some dive pub or grotty house in some povvo estate. This flag waving form of patriotism is the behaviour of the lower orders. Vulgar and unseemly. Good job all those car flags aren't on beaten up old Vauxhalls, then!
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:35,
Reply)
Patriotism is quite silly, whatever order you belong to.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
Absolutely.
You don't see red and white hanging off the houses of more genteel types, is me point.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:38,
Reply)
afaik it's illegal to fly a flag unless on a pole
so those hanging them in windows should be arrested.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:38,
Reply)
All the commoners in my office have England bunting all up around their area.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:40,
Reply)
Our office is well up for it
Each department has been assigned a World Cup team. They are encouraged to festoon their work area with colours, flags, bunting, pictures etc from their adopted country.
Thank fuck I work from home.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
It isn't, but fucking hell, who knew we wasted money on flag protocol?
www.flaginstitute.org/pdfs/Flying_Flags_in_the_United_Kingdom.pdf
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
Fucking should be though
One of the most depressing places I've ever seen on holiday was driving past Santa Suzannah in Spain, basically someone took an empty stretch of beach and dumped a load of concrete monstrosity hotels on it, then populated them with fat cunts with neck tattoos. Nearly every balcony had a flag (mostly football related) hanging off it. Can't imagine anywhere worse to holiday.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
I remember when 'they' recommended that people shouldn't really drive with those little flags on (not law, just recommended)
and all the twats came out saying "LAST TIME I CHECKED THIS WAS ENGERLUND AND WE COULD FLY OUR FLAGS AND NOW IT'S OFFENDING MUSLIMS"
No, you cretin. They want you to be careful in case your flag obcures your eyeline, or sits in your blind spot. Road safety, knob head.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
Or comes adrift, hitting another car on the windscreen causing panic swerving, a sixteen car pileup
on the M6 and an ensuing tragic headline.
You bunch of fucking slack jawed Neanderthal cunts.
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:52,
Reply)
Yes!
Hell in a hand basket, I'm telling you.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:08,
Reply)
My wife has just texted me to remind me to take something with me this morning
Four hours after I left the house.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:33,
Reply)
Mrs Cow does this kind of thing
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:38,
Reply)
I don't even know how Mrs Cow got my number
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:42,
Reply)
*118s*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
Similarly, when I was married (or back in the fucking dark days, as it's become known)
I was reversing in a particularly cramped car park. I failed to see a metal post, which I clipped.
"I could have told you that was there", she sneered.
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:40,
Reply)
haha
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
I hope you turned slowly and fixed your most malevolent gaze upon her.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:48,
Reply)
m p
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:49,
Reply)
post? palevolent?
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:50,
Reply)
post innit
The one he crashed into
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
Funnily enough, that's exactly what I did.
I may have also uttered something somewhat sarcastic.
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:55,
Reply)
crap driver blames innocent bystander
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
I've just seen people queuing out of the door at a Cash Converters on the Kilburn High Rd.
Shit and stupid.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:36,
Reply)
Muswell Hill got a Money Shop a couple of months back.
So I moved out.
Just sayin'.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
They have some bargain garden furniture on sale
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
We got that back.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
Estate agents
I fucking hate those cunts. ima bomb the lot of them when we shift our house
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:39,
Reply)
Another example: Gregg Wallace has 139,000 followers on Twitter.
Why would anyone want to follow that utter turd-faced prick?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:39,
Reply)
^10.1k followers that could be asked the same question
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
10.2k actually.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
How the fuck did you get 10.2k followers?
(
Peej, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:02,
Reply)
By being so fascinating.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
TWEETING DOESN'T GET ANY HARDER THAN THIS
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
Maybe to call him this very thing.
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:45,
Reply)
Another example: millions of people watch soap operas every week.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:45,
Reply)
Soap operas on TV got me into running
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:45,
Reply)
Somebody has been coughing and choking for twenty solid minutes.
I swear down imma shank em.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
Sneak a load of laxatives into their coffee - they won't dare cough then
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
Still coughing.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:56,
Reply)
Britain's Got Talent.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
I propose Britian's Got Talons
Each week the general public perform. Anyone who get 4 red X's is torn to shreds by buzzards
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:49,
Reply)
*votes*
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 11:55,
Reply)
Something more akin to Running Man might be better
minor criminals could take the place of foxes, and be hunted cross country by toffs on horseback and a pack of dogs, they get a percentage off sentence according to how far they get before being bitten to shreds by the dogs. Solves the prison overcrowding, fox hunting and lack of decent Saturday night TV all at the same time. Plus the bookies could make a bomb on it too.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:00,
Reply)
Instead of minor criminals
just naked fat people.
Being chased across the green fields of England, in the sunshine, the toot of the hunting horn carried on the breeze.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
Solved the obesity crisis, too!
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
The mufti day today, by the way, we're supposed to wear football shirts.
It's no line dancing I'll agree, but it's still shit.
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:01,
Reply)
What happens if you dont own a football shirt?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
Then you can come in other sporting attire.
Obviously, since I'm not a ghastly sink estate chav, I don't own anything like that at all.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
Wear your cardi and say youve come as England
as they are shit too
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
Wear a bow tie and upside down glasses and say you're Dennis Taylor.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
They've surely given up even mentioning these events to you by now?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:04,
Reply)
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
What is your favourite pepper? Bell, sweet or chili?
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
Pig
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:04,
Reply)
GET TO FUCK
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
*snorts*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
Sultan
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
ami
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
Careful, I understand there is a higher than average incidence of psychosis amongst those who eat them.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
Oni
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
Goat
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
view
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:06,
Reply)
spray
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
mmmmm
incapacitating
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:08,
Reply)
Chilli obviously
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
Pots
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:08,
Reply)
sergeant
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
TODAY'S DISCOVERY:
It is possible to get a 'paper cut' from tin foil, and because of the crinkly nature of the foil, it opens up the cut nicely, making it more sore and bleedy.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:08,
Reply)
Not a paper cut then. Is it.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
No - hence the single quotation marks you nobber.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
Oh. Yeah. Soz. Carry on.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
Whoever quoted this job is a fucking knob.
2 man days quoted, I get here late as I've been on nights and the guy I'm working with has a big grin on his face. He takes me up to the building we're working in, and it's easily 10 or 12 man days. I mean, being out by a day or so is not common as you can't always get the best access when quoting, but Christ, this is crazy. The client has shit a brick and it looks like we might be thrown off site.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:08,
Reply)
Soz, I was mucking about on b3ta when I should've been assessing the job
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
Well, there is that.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
site the roof.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
You wouldn't dare.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
You're right there
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
No, I'm right here.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
Yes that's what he said.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:24,
Reply)
to buildingarse
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
Brilliant
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
Just fix it, spark monkey
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
I will. Oh I will. Just you wait.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
You'd better stop wasting your time on here
and fucking get on with it, then. Hadn't you?
Or, you could just murder the client in the bogs.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
STILL FUCKING COUGHING
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
Just got asked why I wasn't wearing a football shirt by someone.
"Football's shit and for cunts" I reply.
Look up.
Who do you think was standing in front of me in a football shirt and wearing a "did I just hear what I think I heard" expression?
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:14,
Reply)
YM?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
Gary Lineker?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
A shitcunt?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
The head of HR.
No word of a lie.
Luckily he's sound and took it as a joke.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
Yeah right
NOTED ON FILE
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
He was laughing. I'm assuming that was "I took this as a joke"
rather than "Haha, my sacking quota's going to be well easy to fill this month"
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:20,
Reply)
yeah that's what I said
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:20,
Reply)
Your Doris?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:19,
Reply)
Patrick Moore?
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:24,
Reply)
Ruud Gullit?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
Ban Ki-Moon?
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
Terry Nutkins?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Doug Pledger
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Donatella Versachi?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Sir Ian McKellen?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Mark Mennim?
(
Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Do doo, de do do
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:30,
Reply)
Pope Gregory IX?
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:29,
Reply)
Fred Talbot
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:30,
Reply)
I'm having a pint of cider \o/
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:30,
Reply)
Just when I thought I couldn't hate you any more than I do.
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Kroney, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
It's quite a short trip from abloobloo I can't see my kid to pissed bloke showing around photos of her to strangers in the pub eh?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:32,
Reply)
Hahahaha
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:35,
Reply)
AHFUGGINLUVMAKID
ERELEMMESHOWYOUAPICSHUR
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
Excellent.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
Picture for Sporto

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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:33,
Reply)
this^
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
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