Death metal band Unfathomable Ruination are to perform in an airtight, soundproofed box outside the Gherkin in London this week until they run out of oxgen:

www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/news/death-metal-band-to-play-in-soundproof-airtight-box-in-london-9572606.html

Who would you like to be starved of oxygen?

Alt: create a name for a death metal band.

AltAlt: why are you so visually offensive?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:20, 198 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

My friends and I had a band called Mental Apocalypse for an afternoon.
It involved one chap playing open chords, and the other two of us shouting "CUNT!" at regular intervals.

We were great.

Altalt: I blame my parents.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Alt: Ethic Minority

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

^n

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Please see earlier thread for why you are wrong.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

I am really rather embarrassed now.
I'd rather we kept this to ourselves, if you don't mind.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:28, Reply)

If it helps, I don't think anyone reads any of your posts.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:29, Reply)

I know I certainly don't, for one.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Who are you talking to?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:44, Reply)

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:48, Reply)

I can't help thinking you've rather missed the point of what they are doing.
Alt: I doubt we'll come up with many that are more amusing than real ones.
Altalt: My mum says I'm handsome.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

HAHA MY MUM!!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

The fuck? Mentalists.
Mick Hucknall

Alt: We butter the bread with butter.

AltAlt: Because you're looking at me from below.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Alt: Contented Little Squeaks. Supported on tour by Second Row Chef.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Contented Little Squeaks sound like a Stiff Little FIngers cover band

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:31, Reply)

During a rather hectic ferry crossing to Amsterdam
me and my mate Dave invented a band we were in called Spine Shitter

We managed to convince a load of Swedish death metallers this was actually true, before getting us all up to sing Britney Spears Baby One More Time on a karaoke thing at 3am

AltAlt:
I am quite simply bovine perfection
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

I hope no one threw a 'Dave' in Amsterdam

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Dave threw a Dave in Amsterdam
Proper passed out in a cafe bar
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:36, Reply)

alt: Encephalitis Lethargica
altalt: Bit personal, but seeing as you asked it's because I've slowly let myself go over a number of years, coupled with the fact that I weren't much special to start with. Wow. You rude cunt. Now I hate myself.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:32, Reply)

At least you know how the rest of us feel now.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Riddled with self-loathing?

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Well, yes... but that isn't what I meant...
Look shut up, alright.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:40, Reply)

I dunno, that's what it looks like you meant.
Perhaps you ought to be a little clearer in your use of language, yeah?
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:41, Reply)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:44, Reply)

Ah, I see you've found one of the earlier leaflets
for the "Don't Be A Language Flid Cunt" committee's awareness campaign.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:46, Reply)

what a heap of shit
i don't think i could name a death metal band or song if you paid me. or if i could, i wouldn't know that was what they were.

tony blair. davina mccall. the secret escapes woman and the wowcher woman. cherie blair. alex salmond. gordon brown. kate middleton. all the blair kids.

alt: i'm not. and major new gym regime starts tomorrow, after a few weeks off, which will improve things EVEN MORE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:36, Reply)

In which chart did they have their "hits" I wonder

( Peej, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:40, Reply)

I'm guessing no one else is bothering to listed to the full album in that link then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:41, Reply)

The words "death metal" are usually enough of a reason not to listen, in my experience.

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:42, Reply)

I have listed the full album. It's one of my favourite lists.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:43, Reply)

Oh my, a typing error, how embarrassing
I hope this doesn't end up in some kind of internet archive
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:45, Reply)

Yeah, all you need now is someone to make it sound a bit noncey in some convoluted way and you are done for mate

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

you love nonces, don't you?
You noncey little nonce.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Oh into 'little nonces' are you, like kids you mean? MEGAPAEDO^^^^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:53, Reply)

METAPAEDO, surely?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:57, Reply)

Did you? Are you friends now?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:58, Reply)

He's not really my father, you know.
He's my lover.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:02, Reply)

I did. It was fun.
Absolutely laughable - as metal is - but fun.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:55, Reply)

Morning team. Upbeat today we are?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:45, Reply)

Alt: Dead Little Bobby Womack

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

Fuck off Yoda

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:48, Reply)

I'm not even sure I've woken up as yet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:50, Reply)

I'm dizzy as fuck this morning.
Stupid bodies.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:05, Reply)

I woke up at 7.45
This is not good when you have to get two kids up, fed, washed, dressed, dog walked, packed lunches made and out by 8.15
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:10, Reply)

I got three and a half hours sleep on friday night
followed by walking nine miles around Goodwood on saturday in the sun. I've had twenty hours sleep the last two nights and I'm still wiped out.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:12, Reply)

it you not get soaked on Saturday?
GFOS highlight?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:15, Reply)

Storm didn't get to Goodwood at all.
Bit of light rain in the morning, but that's it.

Jackie Stewert driving a 1955 GP car as though he was off to the shops for a pint of milk. Or the bit where we accidentally ended up walking along the rally stage, despite all the "Prohibited" signs everywhere.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:17, Reply)

Yeah i ended up in your mum's rally stage despite it apparently being prohibited

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:18, Reply)

Yeah? Well I fucked yours in the arse.

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:19, Reply)

i performed a Skandanavian flick on your mum's open left

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:27, Reply)

I did a two degree tightening right on your mum's rising crest.

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Alt: Samurai Top Knot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:51, Reply)

Global Thermonuclear Top Knot

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 11:54, Reply)

Piers Morgan.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:04, Reply)

I always liked the band name Menstrual Blood-fart.
But it's a shame the genre has such predictable band names. Although, I saw a band called Krokodil last time I was at download and they were great.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:12, Reply)

I'm rather enjoying a band called Bölzer at the moment.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:16, Reply)

I have not heard of them. Is it worth a Google or are they a bit Bellowhead folk rubbish?
I have been going on a bit of a modern death thing at the moment and listening to Ulver and Virus.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Bit offended that you think I might listen to Bellowhead
Bölzer are a Swiss death metal band and definitely worth a listen.
The current sunn o))) with Ulver is excellent, but I've not heard any of their other stuff.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Don't worry, I don't have you down as a Bellowhead man, that was lolbantz.
Though, little fact about them is that they're Jeremy Vines favourite band.

Definitely give Ulver a listen if you like the sun o))) stuff. I'd start with "blood Inside" as it has a cheery Christmas number.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:51, Reply)

Oh, they are a modern death band. I will download some from my very legal thing I use to download music legally. And pay for it and stuff.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:27, Reply)

Anyone still wearing a "Galsto" wrist band
alt: AND MY AXE

Altalt: i have the dashing good looks of a chiseled Greek god thanks very much
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:13, Reply)

Given that there are now people here who've seen what you actually look like
I'm surprised you've been so breath-takingly dishonest, here.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:15, Reply)

pffft, i pay no heed to their jealousy laced taunts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:16, Reply)

Never was a first name so prophetically given.
Your parents are wizards, you're perfect for it.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:19, Reply)

Says Pierre

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:21, Reply)

Not actually my name though, is it.

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:24, Reply)

yes it is
Pierre Gaston Claude Kroney Depardiue
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:25, Reply)

my friend is marrying a man called claude
imagine calling that out in the heights of passion faking it.

oh claude. do me, claude.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:31, Reply)

What are those scratches down your back?
Claude.
( Muns, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:38, Reply)

oh lol
i'm nicking this and using it on her
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:52, Reply)

Is it actually "Lucky"?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Er. No.

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Galsto
Best of all the medical festivals.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:15, Reply)

Anyone still talking about 'Galstonbury' is a pain in the abdomen

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:17, Reply)

I prefer the French version "Gastonbury"

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:17, Reply)

Soon there will be a middle class food festival called Gastrobury.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:18, Reply)

soon Monty will travel to the northern lands, Gas-in-Bury

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:19, Reply)

Jaysum is attending Asstonbury this weekend

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:26, Reply)

Gladstone Park in north London holds 'Gladsbury' on the same weekend each year. It's shit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:21, Reply)

I bet there's a craft beer named after Glastonbury.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:26, Reply)

There's a whole brewery named after it
www.glastonburyales.com/beers/real.html
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:32, Reply)

They should do a cider called "Crusties' Ruin"

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:34, Reply)

seled nless
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:23, Reply)

i HAVE PLENTY OF CHINS THANK YOU VERY MUCH

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:24, Reply)

Oh dear - just learned another pair of friends have fallen to pregnancy.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:46, Reply)

Two bitches up the duff? Slags

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:49, Reply)

Can you get preggers from clam jousting?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:51, Reply)

I couldn't personally, no

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:53, Reply)

How will we start our family then?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:54, Reply)

We won't, two dads = gay kid, and no one wants that

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:56, Reply)

What does two mums equal?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:57, Reply)

Monty.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:58, Reply)

Richard mcbeef

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:58, Reply)

b qu
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:59, Reply)

In your own time.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:00, Reply)

Actually I think one of them's guy.
I think that's how they did "it".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:02, Reply)

Oh, so it's only one rather than a pair, I see

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:03, Reply)

Well yeah, but they're in a relationship.
So it might as well be both of them, see?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:08, Reply)

Any couple who say 'we're pregnant' should be minced up and fed to dogs

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:10, Reply)

I agree.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:12, Reply)

But the man's not actually pregnant, is he.
On account of not having a womb and how the foetus only grows in the woman. What he means is "she's pregnant". Got a case of the old mixed up personal pronouns, there.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:12, Reply)

I also don't like the ethical implications of "we're pregnant"
as it suggests the man should stick around and deal with the brat, as opposed to fucking off and finding somebody younger and hotter to tup.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:14, Reply)

It's uter-us, not uter-you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:14, Reply)

It's uter "fuck off am I dealing with that, you're dumped. You should have used protection"

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:15, Reply)

I'm looking forward to your volte-face when your missus decides she can't bear the ticking any longer.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:17, Reply)

Haha, that'll be an interesting day.
Though I'm safe for a bit. Currently it doesn't look as though the clock's started. Long may it continue.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:19, Reply)

Is this why you aimed young?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:21, Reply)

I didn't aim at all.
Just one of those things. Not complaining, mind.

This may surprise people, but a lot of the things I say are bullshit.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:23, Reply)

"I'm sure there was something I was supposed to be doing this evening... Oh shit, I forgot to open the box"
Alt: Catastrophic Urethral Trauma (C.U.T.)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:50, Reply)

Just came across this from last year.
It's a black metal bands t-shirt, but I'll be fucked if I know the difference.


( Muns, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 12:59, Reply)

It's a Cradle of Filth shirt.

( Peej, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:04, Reply)

Bit offensive.

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:08, Reply)

To who?

( Peej, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:16, Reply)

Whom.

( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:17, Reply)

Tyler

( Peej, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:19, Reply)

What?
historylols
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:19, Reply)

I'm glad someone got it

( Peej, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:20, Reply)

To whit?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 13:18, Reply)