So, offtopic is closing down on the 25th?
How should we make the most of our last time together? I think I'm going to wake up in the shower and its all been a dream

Festivals. I was reminded of my first trip to Glastonbury at the weekend. Are they your "bag"? Or is the hairdryer cord not long enough to plug in there?

Alt:
Has Jaysum been bummed to death at his lesbowedding?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:19, 137 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I might start doing some work again on the 26th

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:22, Reply)

Fuck that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:26, Reply)

Fuck that shit 'cause I ain't the one
For a dumb motherfucker with a badge and a gun to be beating on, and thrown in jail.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)

What he said

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)

I am so incredibly bored I would be more than pleased to have a whole days work to do.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)

I'm not sure I can be bothered to do a whole days worth any more.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:31, Reply)

*joins team tangle*
4 hours will do me just fine, thank you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:32, Reply)

That would be a start.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:33, Reply)

Today's work is beyond tedium
It has to be said
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:34, Reply)

Having literally nothing to do is more of a chore, believe me.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

I've been there and you're not wrong.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:38, Reply)

^ this ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Let me know if you want me to do any of your work for you.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Do you know much about the ************** industry?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:47, Reply)

Enough to be a ********* manager, I would imagine.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:48, Reply)

Haven't had a whole busy day for months, it's tiresome and dull.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:32, Reply)

The last time I did a festival was when we were playing.
I wouldn't camp at one now - way too much like hard work. Might consider it if someone had a recreational ve hee achle.

Alt: yes.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)

I'm going to send a cock gaz to everyone, just in case we never see each other again.
Of course, this could prove to be awkward if it transpires that off topic isn't closing on the 25th, but I'm sure that won't happen.

Alt: Of course music festivals are my "bag", just not shit ones like Glastonbury.

Altalt: He'll still be on the slow Megabus home. Back posting tomorrow.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:29, Reply)

I've labelled my answers correctly, as opposed to your two main questions with one alt.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)

hahaha!
Picky hippy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:31, Reply)

hahaha!
Stupid northerner.

I'm gonna be up your way on Friday. Fancy a pint?
( Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)

This Friday?
Where you headed?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Felling. And then to the Angel.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

You probably shouldn't come to the funeral
but I don't see why you can't attend the wake.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)

I'll be in Newcastle but I have an exam on the morning
Probably be back in town by 1pm
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:44, Reply)

I fucking hate the megabus, seeing as it's relevant.
Nearly got thrown off one for drinking on it back in the day.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)

Have people actually had cock/tit gazzes?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)

You mean you didn't receive mine?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

I did not

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Yeah, Craig the fake doctor did it to quite few people.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Fucking hell

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

I resent that slur upon my character.

(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)

It usually follows someone bragging about getting a new macro lens for their camera.

( Muns, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:38, Reply)

Not me. If I got my tallywhacker out on a keyboard it'd reach from A to Z.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:44, Reply)

ha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:45, Reply)

Not a single one.
I feel most left out.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:44, Reply)

sadly yes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:06, Reply)

Bumming.
Festivals: Only if I'm getting paid.
Alt: They killed him when they realised he was a bloke and not a heterosexual woman with no tits and a cock.
( Muns, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

I hate it when you get that wrong.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:38, Reply)

It can certainly be embarrassing, and can lead to accusations of gay if you get it wrong.

( Muns, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:41, Reply)

How can it be gay if you innocently assumed she was a woman with a cock?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:48, Reply)

Fucking disgraceful innit!
She had a beautiful beard too. :(
( Muns, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:53, Reply)

STOP THE PRESS
Harris GUILTY!
( Peej, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:54, Reply)

YESSSSSS!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:56, Reply)

WOOOOO
Edmonds next!
( Peej, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:56, Reply)

Feel or no feel?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:57, Reply)

My friend's Rolf Harris original artwork has suddenly plummeted in value, then.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

Could go both ways

( Peej, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

It's not like he'll be doing any more.
Who's going to the Official Burning of the Queen's Portrait, then? As endorsed and attended by HRH
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:12, Reply)

guilty on all counts
On count 1, Rolf Harris has been found guilty.

On count 2, he has been found guilty.

On count 3 he has been found guilty.

On count 4, he has been found guilty.

On count 5, he has been found guilty.

On count 6 he has been found guilty.

On count 7 he has been found guilty.

On count 8 he has been found guilty.

On count 9 he has been found guilty.

On count 10 he has been found guilty.

On count 11 he has been found guilty.

On count 12 he has been found guilty.

Rolf Harris has been found guilty of all charges.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

I think I can tell what it is now, it's a lengthy prison sentence

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:14, Reply)

not that fucking lengthy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

I got a cock gaz off Drimble.
The big gay. If it weren't illegal to publish gazzes, that guy would be in Big Trouble.
( Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:55, Reply)

Hey, you asked for it

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 14:57, Reply)

So Rolf Harris is going down, then.
EDIT: Piss.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)

fuck off tomatoes
your slimy redness has just ruined not only my lovely slice of quiche, by your evil main variety making everything around you go soggy, but also my accompanying salad, by covering it in the seeds of your disgusting cherry brethren.

WHY DO YOU EXIST? GAH. FUCK OFF TOMATOES.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:12, Reply)

I also had quiche for lunch. Trufax.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:13, Reply)

why do you exist?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

t

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:23, Reply)

YEAH!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

it's deep and profound

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

t

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:25, Reply)

i don't get it

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)

t

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)

not following

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:33, Reply)

this isn't twitter

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:34, Reply)

huh?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)

Try coffee

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)

Quiche is 'fucking shit' and for 'cunts'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

This is really profound - you should get your poems published.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)

A vegi that doesn't like tomatoes? weirdo.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

they are alright if they are smashed up into something
like a sauce. but fuck them in their raw form. fuck them right in their slimy, chewy, soggy, seedy little holes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:22, Reply)

rach is more of a fussy eater than a vegetarian

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:26, Reply)

loads of people hate raw tomatoes
nothing fussy about that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:28, Reply)

STOP PRESS
It is National Shed Week
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

YES! Excellent.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:26, Reply)

I thought you'd like that
I've added new shelves and now have a light ready for my shed
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)

Solar powered?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:28, Reply)

Nope
Gonna run a cable down the new fence to get power to the bottom of the garden. Father in law was an electrician
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:29, Reply)

Bonded outdoor cable isn't cheap.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:29, Reply)

I know
Going to put some kind of distribution box in the shed to run lights/power off
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:30, Reply)

You need:
2 rings: lighting (interior & exterior) & sockets. I suggest 4:

1 for the fridge
1 for the radio
2 for manly power tools
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:31, Reply)

I'll leave it up to my resident expert

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)