Morning all
What the hell?

There are two 7:40s?

When can I go back to bed?

How is everyone in the world of work today?



( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 7:42, 349 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning Mrs!
I really wish I was back in bed and not at boring work. I'm a very tired wanderlust this morning.
Ahh well, it was worth it. Last night I got to drink lots of tea, eat a muffin and go to a duck pond! Good times!
How are you this morning?
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 7:45, Reply)

I'm covering for the early shift guys today
I should still be at home drinking tea. It's all dark and rainy outside and the office is dead. It's a bit surreal.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:04, Reply)

I was the first one in on my floor today.
All of the lights were off and all I could hear was the whirring noise of people's computers. It was quite creepy. I nearly shat myself when someone coughed behind me.
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:11, Reply)

Morning all
I like getting in to work early. It means I can leave before 5. Far better than having to stay late.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:23, Reply)

I agree with k2k6
it's nice being in the office weren't there aren't many others too.

especially when feeling irritable

it also means I can find who stole my pint glass while I was out yesterday, and take it back. damned environment division.

bathroom update: tiles are finished, grouting is done and tiles have been cleaned. I did some of the sealing last night and will be finishing that off tonight.

shower will go up tomorrow which means I'll be able to use it probably by friday.

floor gets laid at the weekend

woo!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:26, Reply)

Stealing a colleague's pint glass/coffee cup etc
is surely a prohibited activity in office etiquette.

No wonder you're irritable, Vipros. Even without bathroom stress!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:32, Reply)

you would think so
it is the only pint glass in the office too

and I can't drink out of anything smaller than a pint glass....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:39, Reply)

I hate cup stealers.
And people who nick my pen! Honestly, it's quite clearly my pen. It's pink, sparkly and has my name on it. People also love taking my post it notes. I need my pen to write on my post it notes! get your own you lazy bastards!
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:39, Reply)

Pen theft
is one of the reasons that all of my pens have been acquired from hotels over the years.

But even then, I get attached to them. FFS, some are from the San Francisco Marriott!

Edit - it was a conference. I wasn't paying!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:46, Reply)

Early starts are great
I hate mornings but I hate most the buffoons I have to interact with at work even more. Getting in/out before they do and leaving at 4 on a Friday is grand.

@Vipros
I know the feeling with the pint glass. If I drink from anything smaller I spend more of my day getting more water than I do working wasting time on b3ta.
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:49, Reply)

bah, pen stealing
that really annoys me too

I've managed to keep hold of my current collection for some time now but I know my mechanical pencil will go missing one of these days.

@Vrothdar: that's exactly my reasoning. basically means I don't drink as much water as I'd like because I end up making the same number of trips with a glass less than half the size.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Big bottles
I had gotten into the habit of bringing a 1.5l bottle to work with me, filling it with squash and then pouring that into a pint glass to drink from. That worked very well and for once I was properly hydrated.

Unfortunately said habit failed after two 3 day weeks in a row. I'm currently drinking from a 500ml bottle I keep refilling. Woe is me.
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:00, Reply)

I actually have four 75cl bottles on my desk
but they have been there so long that unless I really strain my eyes I can't see them...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:01, Reply)

Our cold water here
comes from a tank in the loft, which probably has dead pigeons floating in it, so I buy bottled water.

Actually, there are two taps in the building with mains water, but they're far away so I can't be bothered traipsing along to them to fill a glass/bottle/whatever.

Besides, I drink mostly Irn Bru. And it doesn't come out of taps, even in Scotland.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:02, Reply)

I've got a pint glass and
watercooler in my room. Shame I don't use it as much as I should. Anyone get up to anything interesting last night?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:03, Reply)

Good morning.
Pen stealers should be cunted in the fuck. I'd never dream of pilfering someone's pen so why do other people do it. And if I should have to borrow someone's pen in a pen related emergency, then I'd make damn sure I replaced it afterwards.

Why can't other people be as lovely as us?
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:03, Reply)

@Vrothdar
You need to get one of those huge bottles which fit on water coolers. Then you wouldn't have to keep refilling it.

Drinking from it may be a problem though...

@BGB - because only b3tards have the ability to be perfect!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:05, Reply)

Because other people are useless BGB
Mornings all. It's actually sunny here today, for now anyway, and I have a staff night out go karting tonight.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:06, Reply)

I love b3ta
and b3tards.

*kisses all round*

*feels all sunny*

edit: Or is that b3tans? Either way you're all lully :)
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:06, Reply)

we've got one of those mains water things that cools it and filters it
pretty nice as water goes....

interesting conversation.

the thing with pen stealers is that it has the same underlying cause as pretty much everything else that annoys me about people. lack of thought.

people who stop in the middle of the pavement, moron drivers, all that sort of thing is caused by people not thinking about the effect that they have on other people.

pisses me off.

and now I have full-on weapons-grade deja vu
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:08, Reply)

Good morning lovely B3tans :)
*hugs all round*

We only have one pint glass in our office as well.. what the heck is going on there! Our office is tiny though and I sit pretty much in the kitchen :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:09, Reply)

Vipros is quite right
Think before you act. Then the world's problems would be, if not solved, lessened immensely.

Morning TGB, and anyone else who's just appeared.

*returns wanderlust's kisses*

*feels hornyall sunny too*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:11, Reply)

i have returned
from dropping Mr Bin off for his first day at school.

It's very dark here.

In Mr Bin's old job he could come home at lunch time. Now he can't. This means that there is a very real chance of me not speaking to anyone until he comes home.
It's quite nice but I feel a little bit sad.

That said, I made an onion curry last night. It was fucking ace but lord you do not want to be in a room with me right now.


*edit* BTW did you know the whole having to drink 8 litres of water a day is badly researched bullshit?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)

I don't get to work in an office
I have to deal with the stupid public.

Stupid, rude, annoying, unthoughtful public.


Morning TGB.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)

Pen stealing?
I had a courier come last night and pick up a box of stuff, and leave. Three minutes later he was back in the driveway and came and gave me back my pen ^ - ^ They're not all bad I suppose...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:13, Reply)

Hey k2k6
And I agree but people are for the most part selfish fuckwits. Which is why I enjoy walking to and from work so I don't get caught up in the hellhole of rush hour traffic!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:13, Reply)

@Vipros
We've got one of those as well. It's a bit too far away from my desk for my liking though - I reckon 10m.

Perhaps I should lobby for it to be moved nearer to my desk with a tube straight to my gob.

Talking of tubes into gobs: I really need to get a new camelback. Those things are teh awesome.
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:14, Reply)

morning TGB
welcome back Mrs L

I just found two bonus pounds in a seldom used pocket of my bag while searching for my ipod

result!

edit: @himjim: that's service! america?

nice 'tache btw
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:14, Reply)

Mornin folks
How are we all today?

Dreamt I went sea fishing last night, but I didn't have a life jacket, so i hung onto a bit of rope tied to the boat. Why is it in my dreams I love swimming, and I' pretty good at at, but in real life I act like a complete twat when my face gets wet in the water?

Edit- my desk is so messy, it becomes a home for lost things. I don't so much get stuff nicked as I inherit it!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:14, Reply)

PoD
The public are cunts to a man.

Hell IS other people.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:14, Reply)

@Mrs Bin
I thought it was 8 glasses rather than 8 litres?

Guessing a glass is approx 250ml

I reckon the amount of water you need is a very personal thing. If I'm pissin' clear then I'm happy. Takes a lot of drinking for that to happen though even when I'm not doing any exercise.
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:16, Reply)

argh too many people
*implodes*

And Himjim that's impressive. And no Vipros in the UK!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)

The public are rubbish
You get some customers who are nice and smile and say thank you when you give them their drink.

Then you have some others who just sit there and don't say a single thing when you give them their drink, complain about things like the price, that their drinks are too BIG, or once that their coffee tasted like dishwater. I mean come on!

I hate the public, and am glad I finish on Thursday.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:18, Reply)

Ulrika Johnson
It on the telly saying that when she was pregnant she went up to a 34 I bra size.

I didn't know they could go up to an I.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:19, Reply)

@PoD
Complaining that drinks are too big?! Fucking hell what's wrong with humanity?
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:19, Reply)

wait.. is that an i or an L?
Either way...

Actually if it's an L then she would just be falling over all the time
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:21, Reply)

@weekirst
I ask myself the same questions when I have sex dreams... :(

Re hydration: I don't drink very much liquid over the course of a day. People always tell me I should drink more. But if I try it, I don't feel any different. But I do have to keep running for a piss every hour. Apart from the minimal extra exercise that gives me, what's the benefit?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:21, Reply)

I? that's mahoosive
my ex had double G's

bit too big to tell you the truth
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:22, Reply)

Perhaps
She was wearing a special baby bump bra* that stopped her baby moving around?

*note the B words and the alliteration!
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:22, Reply)

I have no idea
At first I thought the person was joking, so I kind of did a little fake laugh, then they looked serious.

Then I walked off.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:22, Reply)

*looks at himjim's 'tache*
*feels all tingly*

Are we back to facial hair and boobies? My favourite!
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:23, Reply)

@PoD
You could always have replied that it wasn't actually mandatory to drink it all!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:23, Reply)

Lighter thiefs
I swear, there must have been one space cadet wandering round nicking everyone's lighters. Every five mins ppl would ask me if I had a light.

I'd lost it completely for about sixteen hours, but the next morning I sat at a picnic table and there it was! *angel chorus*

I had a cracking weekend, made a whole bunch of new friends... and I think I've finally learned to moderate my alcohol/drug intake. So woo for me!

Ning everyone... how are we?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:25, Reply)

facial hair and breasts FTW
I failed to shave last night again, and I need a haircut so my head is starting to look like a coconut blessed with a large quiff and a beard...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:26, Reply)

That is an I for indigo
Good Lord. That could kill a man.

The study that most people used to inform the amount of hydration needed didn't take into account water from any other source. For example tea, juice or even the water in food.

It was also under desert conditions. i.e. very fucking hot, not sitting in an air conditioned office.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:27, Reply)

@ Vipros - this happened in Warwick!
@ Grammar Badger - I am from Texas, but I've been living here since I was 3.

My moustache is currently undergoing re sculpting :)

Edit: No3l; I don't believe that new lighters are ever made, they're just traded between everyone in the world.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:27, Reply)

I've lost my lighthouse lighter
It has a little clear section in it and a little lighthouse that wobbles about in the lighter fluid and it's all the way from Slovakia. I am pretty sure it is in my house somewhere...

Himjim I did guess you may be Texan from your profile...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:27, Reply)

:-$
Just remembered the Office T3xan badge. Whooops. How's sunny Holly Walk today? I went to that new diner next to the Assembly rooms last night, and it was terrible :(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:30, Reply)

I wouldn't have believed that a courier in this country would do such a thing!
some of my mates are the worst lighter thieves ever.

my bro complains about the drummer from my band, and I hadn't noticed. mentioned it to the drummer, and he said he just steals my brother's lighter to annoy him :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:31, Reply)

It is lovely and sunny!
After all the rain last night I was expecting a wet yucky day!

Which diner is that? *scratches head*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:33, Reply)

Morning all!
Is it just me or has something happened here at b3ta?

I'm finding that when I click 'I like this' I'm no longer getting a new little window open up, instead the button just changes colour.

Anyone else noticed this?

Gone!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:36, Reply)

@Chickenlady
I get a popup when I click but it does change colour for me if I refresh the page. Maybe it's something new that doesn't work properly (for me) in firefox yet.

What browser are you using?
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:37, Reply)

Oh I thought that was just me with the colour changing
As I upgraded to FF3 the other day. It's weird in weird ways so thought it was just that!

I am aware I am also weird in weird ways
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:38, Reply)

Hmmm.
I'm using FF3 too. I wonder why it's still giving me pop ups? *strokes stubbeard*
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:39, Reply)

Do you know the old bingo hall
that's been converted into a new music venue? It's next door to that...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:40, Reply)

I use firefox too
I'm surprised that I'm no longer getting the pop up box...I kind of miss it.

Mind you I suppose now it will be easier to click like a loon on some posts!


Ah!

*Clunk!*





EDIT I'm using Firefox 3.0.1
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:40, Reply)

*raises hand sheepishly*
What is this /all page you speak of?

:edit: I'm using 3.01 as well. I feel left out.
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:41, Reply)

Vrothdar
it's ok, I only found out about the /all thing a week ago or so

I'm using FF3 and I think I still get popup windows for I like this....

edit: yep I do
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Click on the qotw page
***REMOVED TO KEEP THE B3TA SECRETS SAFE***
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Morning all
another lonely day at the office for me :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Himjim - Aha I am with you now!
Someone else I knew went there and said it wasn't too bad but not great. I don't really eat out that much as I am poor but that Italian place by the bath shop on Regent Grove is nice :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:52, Reply)

I've edited my posts above
to take out all mention of *that* page.

I believe it's only known to a few...it's part of the b3ta inner sanctum.

Those of you who have now seen it, remember this needs to be kept quiet.

;-)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:54, Reply)

If you're poor then definately
don't go there. £4.75 for a milkshake *cries* I don't eat out much either and I've never been to this place you speak of. My main vices are milkshakes, so it's Cow Bar mostly :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)

Right
I'm off to third last day of work, may it go well.

Bye all.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:59, Reply)

@chickenlady
*rushes out and tells the world*
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:59, Reply)

Hmm the "secret page"
Reads a lot like my "Friends' Activity" I obviously have impeccable taste ;)

I've never been to Cowbar but I am always tempted! They do seem to have every milkshake known to man! I may treat myself next month. I am saving my pennies for pound a pint night down the Well tomorrow cheap booze FTW!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:00, Reply)

@ PoD
Look at BGB!!

See! It's her! Not me!



I suggest we send out an exploration party to find the fabled Hidden Pages of B3ta.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)

*enters*
Hullo everybody!

*delivers smooshes all around*

I am using the hell that is IE7, and I get the colour change too. One of these days I'll switch to firefox.

Lordy, I'm tired todaygnjebwvefabinmklad... Sorry, that was my head making contact with the keys... ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:03, Reply)

DiT
That looks like Welsh!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:05, Reply)

*bounces in*
morning all!

it's a lovely day here today! the sun is out, it smells of cut grass outside, I have a lovely croissant/coffee combo here and I had a good laugh just now looking at all the headlines on the trashy mags in the shop, the best of which were "Help! I've sawn my own hand off!" and "I spent 19 years as a woman called Erika, THEN DOCS FOUND MY WILLY!"
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

They still do pound a pint? :O
I thought that was stuff of legends now! Ha. Morning DiT. Get yourself some chocolate covered coffee beans and get into gear; it's a lovely day!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)

DiTDiTDiTDiTDiTDiTDiTDiTDiTDiTDiTDiT
Do we get more story today? Do we? Do we? Do we? Do we? Do we? Do we? Do we? Do we?

And no himjim the legends are true and cheap beer and alcopops for all*!

*all who can supply ID and have £1 per drink.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)

Right
Time for some work I suppose.

*Goes off for coffee and digger biscuits*

I'll be back when I've done my work for today.

Bye!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)

I suppose
I ought to do some work too. Then the search for the inner sanctum shall commence!
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:12, Reply)

I'm not happy now :(
disastertemp is late again.
She was an hour late yesterday and being late again today is taking the piss a little bit me thinks.

I also want to go a fill up the kettle but I can't until she gets here.
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:12, Reply)

Do tell about your disastertemp=
Why is she so bad?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Close your eyes
give me your hand, darling.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)

Ladies and Gentlemen
I bid thee all a good morning.

Are we all good this day?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)

Wow!
It's rare that I get a welcome like that, TGB!

There may not be any story today, I might have to work. And revise for the pub quiz tonight.

I also feel a bit like I'm cramming OT with stories it doesn't really want! ;)

*drinks coffee*

*finds mojo*

*grooves*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:18, Reply)

@ himjim
she's just a bit odd, she asks really random questions and is a bit dim.
Her redeeming qualities however, include having a fine pair of breasts and smelling like cocoa butter body cream.
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)

@ Ethelred
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)

morning Herr Doktor
I was good until I got a phone call from someone in one of our other offices.

I'd had to teach him some software and guide him through a project and all he has done is fucking moan about it all the time and has seemingly made no effort to understand what he is doing.

now the client has returned something that I'd fucking signed off after checking because I'd checked it for massive blunders and stuff, rather than checking the stuff that is the very basis of the fucking work he is doing.

I'm going to have to spend a day going through all this crap with him and figuring out why the stuff is wrong and then telling him to sort it out and then showing him to sort it out.

the worst part of it is that all the stupid shitty problems this project has had wouldn't have come up if the stupid fucking client had listened to me in the first place!

AAARRRGH!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)

@ MLIAB
Well done, next quiz coming shortly* :P

*when it comes on the radio
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)

DiT are you fishing?
You know we all love your story!

I am rather excitable today. I don't know why!

Can you not phone the agency to ask why disastertemp is late again? And why she is generally rubbish?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)

I thought you were going to say her redeeming quality
was a moustache. A fine pair of moisturised breasts will just have to do though! You should try and out weird her, for shits n giggles.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Vipros do you need more hobnobs?
*proffers*

I like the out weirding game. And you have a good start in the whole being weird thing wonderlust :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:24, Reply)

@ Ethelred
I like this game.

Nothing after about 1988.

The Bangles, Eternal Flame was the last single I bought.
It all went to shit after that.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:24, Reply)

Hehe
No!

I'll see what I can come up with at lunchtime...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)

@Vipros
I feel your pain man.

If I may offer the best solution that I can think off at the moment. Kill the stupid fucker! Leave his body in the street with a big sign round his neck saying "Too Stupid To Live"

But then again doing things like that tends to get you locked up, then again you could say that the voices told you to do it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)

TGB
She's just got here.
I think she's desperate for work and I don't want to be the one to call up the agency and be a massive meanie.

My manager and I have spoken about it though and we've decided we won't have her back again though.

She just offered me a sweetie. I can't be mean to anyone who offers me yummy things.
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)

big problem is I like the guy or I did anyway
his attitude might explain why he's junior to me despite being 14 years older
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:27, Reply)

OK
just knock him out and leave him stripped naked in the street with the sign. But make sure that he doesn't know it was you. I suggest making him a cuppa with sleeping pills in it.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:29, Reply)

I'll have to do it after the work is sorted out
otherwise I'll have to do it all myself and I don't have the time for that

this has really pissed me off....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:32, Reply)

@WL
Not that desperate if she is late.

I had to look after (read: babysit) apprentices at my last place and my boss was always giving them one million chances so they took the piss. I made them all cry and one left but the remaining two received glowing reports from all the departments they went to afterwards.

Proving that I am evil but evil works.

And I do actually get all my work done but with the "recession" there isn't a lot of building work happening so work is quiet :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:33, Reply)

Right off to kneed bread
back in 10
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

Buongiorno!
Hello everybody! Not as chipper as I was yesterday but I'll do my best.
What's new and hip hop happening people?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)

I'm fighting things I cannot see
I think it is my destiny.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:36, Reply)

I feel your pain Vipros
He sounds like a case and a half. My morning has just taken a turn for the worse, I have to try and convince one of our account "managers" that 96 + 50 doesn't equal 146. Morning Van Pelt, Herr Doktor and anyone else I've missed.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:38, Reply)

Ethelred
Are you a plaque fighter?

Hey lucy *waves*

Himjim what? *gets out calculator* what?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:39, Reply)

@TGB
"...you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

Twenty Points to you if you can name the movie without googling!

EDIT: 96 + 50 = 146, shirley?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:40, Reply)

SPACEBALLS!
Edit: Not in the murky world of ticketing :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:40, Reply)

TGB
I'm singing, serenading MrsLIAB :D
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)

*waves at everyone*
I am slightly happier now my fat little Jack Russell has decided to come and sit with me. :)
He's like my only friend when I'm stuck at my parents house!
I'm so crap at lyrics games. I hate it because I can never put my finger on the song. Especially when people cover other peoples work. I have to try and sing to the chorus before the song does so I can figure it out.
@lusty - like when dan le sac did Sugababes. I've been informed my concentrating face is similar to a "I'm doing a poo" face. Nice.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:43, Reply)

Who watches you poo?
:S
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:43, Reply)

ummm
Nobody I hope...I couldn't poo in front of someone unless I was really desperate. I'd get stage fright.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:47, Reply)

LvP
*dances to the beardy one's cover of sugarbabes*

*spins around*

*remembers good times at reading*

*happies*
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:47, Reply)

One for LvP
I never thought I'd miss you
Half as much as I do
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:48, Reply)

@ Ethelred
That I am changing.

*edit* sorry for the delay. As I said I was kneading bread!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:48, Reply)

Bloody hell
I've been having to do some actual work today. In the lab with my white coat and everything.

I've missed all the nonsense here. However, I did skim it and see some mention of a fine pair of breasts, so that's always good.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:49, Reply)

I know, was just kidding
and alluding to the fact that you had been informed that your concentrating face was similar to your poo face :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:50, Reply)

ethelred
IT MUST BE LOVE!
that is my all time favourite song in the WHOLE WORLD. Did you know that already? Have I mentioned it? It's going to be my first dance at my wedding. Oh it's the best song ever!
*happies*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:50, Reply)

@wanderlust
it's amazing how much can be forgiven if the forgivee has a magnificent set of mams. I fall into that trap often enough myself.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:50, Reply)

feeling slightly better now
I checked the stuff that I signed off and the problem bit isn't on them, it's something that I hadn't seen (I perhaps should've done, but that's a seperate issue and doesn't have my initials on it)

I've also had a rant at the guy's immediate superior and she empathised so that's ok

now I can forget about it, and get on with what I'm doing!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:51, Reply)

@Kroney
And quite often the owners of said mams use this fact to their advantage!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:51, Reply)

@ LVP
I didn't know, they were playing Madness on the radio, and that was the first song I thought of!

@ MLIAB

Yep. I love Suzanne Vega, she rocks.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:52, Reply)

himjim
It could be true though. I can't see either my concentrating or poo face. So they may well be the same thing. :s
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:52, Reply)

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH
Why is the Republic of Ireland so impossible!?

Their HSA.ie site is down STILL, it's impossible to find anything as there are no postcodes, hospitals don't appear to have websites or location maps and don't even get me started on the whole "who supplies water" issue.

*bangs head on desk and cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)

I would advise against taking a mirror into the loo then!
Anyone still confused by the 96 + 50 conundrum, this is why I get high blood pressure. I work in a Ticketing agency doing all sorts of things. One of the first things you learn is that counting tickets and accuracy is paramount, so that when you have 96 + 50 it's not 146.

96 is the first ticket number, so when you want 50 tickets, you include 96, leading to the fact that 96 to 145 is 50 tickets.

Try beating that into the skull of someone who can't even capitalise the first letter in a sentence *cries*.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Well you didn't say it was tickets
makes sense now
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:01, Reply)

I edited the spaceballs post above
It's good that you understand now; they've known it was tickets all along, and still don't get it. Pfft. Anyway, enough about this...

FLUFF! Fix'd
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Your picture's broken, himjim
Also, was it chickenlady who was saying earlier that the little "thanks for voting" box no longer appeared when clicking "I like this"?

Well, for the record, it still works for me. I use a Mac, running Safari. Maybe it's a Firefox popup preference thing or something.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:08, Reply)

those are some smug looking
cute cats!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)

Top of the morning to you
Feeling flu-ey, but forcing myself to do stuff. This afternoon's excitement includes slogging through the yellow pages with a highlighter trying to find someone who might gie's a job. And making a casserole.

Rock 'n' roll, baby!

(It's also Junior's first day at big school, and he zoomed off in a hyperactive blur in his new uniform. Hope he doesn't piss himself with excitement, or he'll have a nickname for the next 20 years)

(Oh, and I convinced him yesterday that a magpie we saw was actually a rare flying penguin)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)

@ osok
nice one!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

@osok
I used to think that magpies were baby penguins.

But you know, only when I was little. It's not like I still thought that last year or anything.
*laughs nervously*
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)

@K2k6
How weird, on my Mac there's no popup either, and I run Safari on that... Hmm. Maybe it's a b3ta preference?

Who knows?

I'm revising for a pub quiz tonight. Reputations can be won and lost!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:17, Reply)

Morning osok!
Good luck with the job hunt - what kind of stuff are you looking for?

I thought the colour change "I like this" was to do with some of the new reply functions that you can change in "update your profile" bit...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:18, Reply)

@ Devil
is the quiz in a specific subject? Or are you learning everything about everything, ever, so you've got all the options covered?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Lusty
We're also working on 'Wine makes Mummy Clever' and 'Penguin Biscuits are made out of real Penguins'.

Both courtesy of Andy Riley


Eds: Himjim. Bob knows. I'm trying to dust off a 13 year old degree and get something Environmental/Biological after 10 crappy years in the motor trade, but I have a nasty feeling I'll have to whore myself out to whoever will pay me the most due to skintness
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:20, Reply)

what are these
new reply settings you mention?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)

The QOTW is a mixed bag
Of fleeting moments of sheer brilliance and about 10 pages of crap.

Unless fact: I once dumped someone after he sent me a card saying "Your Awesome". No joke - I am that much of a grammar Nazi.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:29, Reply)

@HLT
Nah, it's all sorts of diiferent things.

I may take the 'Richard Richard' approach on this one.

"What is the capital of Germany Berlin?"
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:30, Reply)

Morning
How goes it?
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:30, Reply)

TGB
Should you not have a comma between "No joke" and "I am..."?

;)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)

I'm with you on that one GB
I couldn't have put up with that. An I'm not that much of a grammar Nazi.

(I can't spell for shit but no one has ever noticed)
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Morning Krayola
Hows it going?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Ethelred
There has always been a hyphen there ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:32, Reply)

@ DIT
Well it used to be Bonn but I think it's Berlin now.

Sorry was that a really question or were you taking the piss.

I love pub quizzes. Can I come?


*Edit* sorry actually just read the question.
Sorry I am a dumb fuck sometimes.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Ok thanks
Had a wicked band practice last night.
Erm... And I'm at work today.
So... Can't win 'em all eh?
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Damn ninjas
and their hyphens!

morning Kaol. how was wherever it was you went?

Harlow?

gotta drive to the airport now...pick up a shipment...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:34, Reply)

Disastertemp alert.
I just overheard her on the phone...

"You want our commercial mortgage department? We don't have one, should I put you through to human resources or accounts payable?"

I was trying to be helpful and told her for future reference that we don't deal with commercial mortgages anymore but there's number written on the white board for someone who does.

"oh, well I just hung up on them as they were talking and I didn't know which department."

Well it was obvious you didn't know which fucking department because you were trying to put the call through to FUCKING HR!!!

I just tried to show her where there's an extra list of all the departments but she just looked me up and down and carried on watching big brother.

I no longer like her. Infact, I think I might wee in her cup of tea.
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:34, Reply)

I suck at pub quizzes
True of false if you chop a starfish up into little bits each part will grow into a new starfish

I can't spell for toffee, but I have FF add-ons that check for me :)

Hey Kaol
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:36, Reply)

I am back
Have done a bit of work.

Have posted (again) on QOTW.

Have had coffee and biscuits.

Now need a pee.

Now ought to do some more work.

That is all.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:36, Reply)

@ Devil
in that case, you'll have to fix all their buzzers. arf.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:37, Reply)

TGB
That's false.

Do I need to explain why?
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:39, Reply)

As an aside
I noticed yesterday at the crematorium that they had the mandatory "It is illegal to smoke on these premises" sticker on display.

Pfft.

Just me?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:40, Reply)

@Lusty
I've got a cricket bat back here, would you like to borrow it?

EDIT: @osok: pfft!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:42, Reply)

@TGB
Nope if you cut it up into little peices it will die. On the other hand if it loses one or two legs it can grow those back.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Harlow, by the way
Was rubbish.
Turns out the place I had to go was across the road from the mental health place where I was nearly sectioned.

So, lots of good memories...
Ended up buying cigarettes. Good work not smoking eh?
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:44, Reply)

@ Wanderlust
What do you mean HR isn't the same as Commercial Mortgages Dept? Do you not know anything?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:45, Reply)

@DiT
Yes please!

I'm just pissed off at the dirty look she gave me.
I was being nice, not patronising or rude. It's not my fault she doesn't have any fucking common sense.

I've just this second had her caller ring back and have a go at me at being fucked around and cut off.

I'm going to make a cup of tea and calm down.

*stomps off*
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:46, Reply)

The problem come GB
when a child asks you to spell a word and you don't know how to spell it!

I sit with them and show them how to look it up in a dictionary.

To be honest I would rather a child could construct a good sentence and be able to punctuate that be constrained by spelling.
Spelling is something that you can continue to learn. Basics like capital letters and full stops are something that needs to be second nature.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:48, Reply)

@ The Lusty One
I suggest the solution I proffered to Vipros earlier.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:50, Reply)

*has a cup of tea*
*jiggles boobies*
*feels better*

@Dok. I've decided to just sit here and make sweary fingers at her everytime I push my glasses up.

Yeah, you don't wanna mess with me. I'm well hard init.
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)

@DiT
Don't ask why I thought of it but:
How are your knackers? Have you had them checked yet?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)

I'm in and out today
The answer to the capital of Germany question is Berlin.

Bonn was the capital of West Germany. Before and after the split, the capital of the whole country was/is Berlin.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 11:59, Reply)

I thought the capital of Germany
was G....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:00, Reply)

I agree to a point about spelling Mrs L
But the difference between their/there/they're etc. should be taught as well!

Oh and the fact it's "hear hear" when agreeing with something someone has said not fucking "here here" as I have read about 50 bazillion times.

*goes back to compiling her dream cars list*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:01, Reply)

yay, it's al!
happy new office!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:04, Reply)

What are your dream cars?
If the list isn't too long?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:04, Reply)

TGB
My pet hate:

Flammable/Inflammable used randomly. Also seen spelled IMflammable.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:04, Reply)

OK Lusty
It was just a suggestion, maybe the Sweary Fingers treatment will work better on them. Maybe they won't even notice.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Oh I agree GB
My feeling is that I would rather a child had the confidence to try.
One way I heard it expressed was that it was better for a child to try and spell 'leopards and cheetahs', than to be frightened of getting it wrong and go for 'big cats' instead.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:06, Reply)

(in)flammable
Surely that's a cock up in the distant history of the English language? You would expect that inflammable would mean 'not flammable'. Instead, we have to say 'not flammable', or even 'not inflammable'.

What a bizarre language we speak.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:09, Reply)

@ himjim
Daily:

Audi RS6

For Weekends:

Aston Martin V8 Vantage Series 3, in Cherry Red, with Tan leather and Cherry Red piping.

For Off-roading:

Hummer H1 with a supercharger.
Or
Merc UniMog.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:09, Reply)

@Mrs L
Erm... Not yet. But I do have an appointment!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Dream Cars
A 1967 Fastback Mustang (in black)
A 1972 Aston Martin DBS V8
A 1962 Ferrari 250 GT Berlinetta
A Bugatti Veyron (and a stretch of autobhan!)
And for a more "modern car" probably a VW Scirocco, bit classier than a golf and better looking in my opinion!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:10, Reply)

@osak
My understanding was that the correct word is inflammable but as so many people thought it meant something that couldn't be burned the word flammable was introduced to go on notices and the like.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:10, Reply)

if we are listing cars we'd like
everyday use: Porsche 911 Carrera 4S and a Honda NSX

Special occasions: Ferrari 288 GTO or a Porsche 356 Speedster
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)

aaaarg!
I've just spent over an hour filling in an application form and now I can't find who to sent it to! It's meant to state it at the bottom of the form but it doesn't. Do I email and ask and risk looking like a cretin before they've even read my app or do I send it potentially to the wrong person?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Fastback Mustang?
My goodness...
I think I'd actually kill for one of them.

Fuck that, I'd blow up a primary school.

Anyone got a spare car that they're giving away, by the way?
Stupid expensive machines.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:17, Reply)

At the classic car show at the NEC last year
A nice man from the Mustang owners club let me sit in his '67 Shelby GT500.

If I was a man I would have had an erection for days afterwards.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)

TGB
I bet he did too ;)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)

Hmm, cars, eh?
Well, I'm a man of relatively simple pleasures.

I'd have something flash but not too flash for everyday use. A Porsche Cayman S, (not a Cayenne, just in case you were confused!) would do nicely.

For gigs, I'd need something bigger. So a BMW M5 tourer would fit the bill.

Actually, even if I had the money, I'm still a Scot so in practice I'd probably buy a 535d, as it's quick enough for me and doesn't use so much fuel!

And a weekend car. Well, I could be a bit more flash here and have a Ferrari 430. I'm not a classic car fan. I like new stuff better.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)

Zigactly my point
Anyhoo cars...

Dodge Charger
Lightweight Airborne Landy Series 2, modded V8 and BFO rollcage
Aston Martin of some description
Merc G60 AMG
Original BMW 635 CSi
Jaguar XJ-R
Merc C36 AMG
Alvis Stalwart

Very large garage.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)

@ al
nothing more naughty than usual, why?

you're not putting me on the list again, are you?

*quivers*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)

found it
Phew.
stupid website.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:21, Reply)

Cars
1969 Yenko Camaro
1968 Camaro Z-28
1967 Alfa Romeo Tip 33 Stradale
1955 Mercedes-Benz 300SL Gullwing
Lancer Evolution VI Tommi Makinen Edition
Any 1930s Formula Style racer by Bugatti/Alfa etc
Audi RS6

@ Grammar Badger: There's an Electric Blue '68 Mustang in a village just outside Warwick, the owner loves showing it off to people! There's also a muscle car meeting in at a pub in London every now and again, always worth a visit.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)

@ osok
Stalwarts are amazing! They truly rock.

6.5 RollsRoyce V8, 4.5 MPG :D

Oh, and gets some serious air on the right track...
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)

@HLT
You do realise that Al isn't going to believe anything without pictures...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)

@ al
oh, I see.

well, yes. haven't you?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:24, Reply)

Hahaha!
Automotive priapism for the win!

I would also, if I had the money, get my Series IIa fixed.
Just needs a new engine... And chassis... :(
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:24, Reply)

Dream car list, you say?
Alrighty then:

1968 390 CID V8 Ford Mustang
Jaguar XJ220
Koenigsegg CCX
Audi R8
Bugatti Veyron
Ferrari Enzo

Don't want much, do I? Right now I'd be happy with an Alfa GT (in fact, scratch that. I'd be happy with any car that works at the moment), trying to juggle the numbers to make it work for me. :(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:25, Reply)

I do like the Evo
Can never remember if it's 4 or 6 that's supposed to be the *really* good one?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:26, Reply)

@ k2k6
speaking of cars, how's the heap of French scrap you own?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:26, Reply)

Interesting to see
No one has mentioned a 427 AC Cobra. I'd be very *happies* with one.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:26, Reply)

Cars
There is only one car on my 'dream' list and that's a 1958 Plymouth Fury.

But it would need a new paint job.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:28, Reply)

@HLT
My French heap is actually fine at the moment, but it's going to have its engine checked tomorrow. I could ignore the problem but it's likely the turbo will explode sometime if I do that. So I won't.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)

Back for lunch - Sausage sarnie! *noms*
Dream cars eh?

For funs
Mini Cooper - Off white/black with rally headlights
Ferrari F40
Smart sport with the estate style back
E Type

For everyday use
VW Golf
Volvo Estate (duno what their models are but I like their estates)

What else have I missed?
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:31, Reply)

Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:32, Reply)

How could I forget this :(
One of the most beautiful cars in the world IMO.
www.supercars.net/carpics/29/1938_AlfaRomeo_8C2900B3.jpg
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:33, Reply)

Vrothdar
A Smart Coupé? My Aunt had one, they are damned good fun.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:34, Reply)

@k2k6
oh noes! asploding turbo! that would be bad!

@ al - they're lovely and pink thank you. but i'm not wearing them today.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:34, Reply)

@ himjim
They also did this:

www.ritzsite.net/Alfa_SZ-RZ/1990_Alfa_Romeo_SZ_f3q.JPG

A lovely piece of automotive sexual pleasure.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:36, Reply)

@ethelred
That could well be the proper name *googles* Ah yes, it is! I've always been crap with names of things.

There's just something about it that makes me horny. Not as horny as (proper) mini coopers make me but rather horny nevertheless.
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:36, Reply)

I think you mean
the Smart Roadster.

I used to have a regular Smart.

I've now got a Mitsubishi Colt CZC.
A couple of months ago it got broken into which left the paintwork all scratched and it had to be re-sprayed.
Got it back from the re-spraying earlier this month. Went out to it yesterday to find another fucking huge scratch -CUNTS-
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:37, Reply)

all this car lurve
has reminded me of a Bluetones song called "Autophilia"

which goes like this:

I love your bodywork and
your flashy pop-up lights,
the way you hug the corners,
however fast and tight
she comes in 16 colours,
she'll suck your money dry,
gives shitty mileage but come on lets get inside.

i love your slinky spoilers,
they really speak to me,
state of the art sound system,
leasther unholstery

she purrs just like a kiten,
she seems to throb with pride
gives you the feeling you've been taken for a ride

pay no attention to the signs
no stopping anytime
come park that chassis next to mine
I'm on a double yellow line
I love your bodywork and
your flashy pop-up lights,
the way you hug the corners,
however fast and tight
she comes in 16 colours,
she'll suck your money dry,
gives shitty mileage but come on lets get inside.

Pay no attention to the sign
No stopping anytime
Come park that chassis next to mine,
You know
Im on a double yellow liiiiiine...
ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba bah....

I like to burn some rubber,
I like to feel the steel,
I like to put my foot down,
I like to take the wheel,
She purrs just like a kitten
She'll go that final mile
But if she's rocking dont come knocking for a while

Pay no attention to the sign
No stopping anytime
Come park that chassis next to mine
You know
I'm on a double yellow line.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:37, Reply)

@ MLIAB
The Roadster didn't have a boot as such. The Coupé has a glass hatchback bit.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)

@HLT
At least if my turbo were to detonate, it would be covered under the warranty. The EGR valve isn't :(

No shorts, eh?

*imagines*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)

The front of that Alpha
Reminds me I also have a weakness for Mitsubishi Galants.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:40, Reply)

*shouts for al*
While everyone else is wanking over cars shall we have a little boobie jiggle?

*shimmies for a shortless HLT*
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:40, Reply)

@ Ethelred
That's the Roadster Coupe I believe.

They've stopped making them now. More fool them I feel.

*edit* that said I've never been sure what 'coupe' means.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)

@ TGB
Oi! Stop liking the cars I like!

The VR4 is gorgeous :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)

Practicality-wise
I'm sure Mr. K. and Mr. V. will agree, but amps, guitars in hard cases and P.A speakers are a pain to transport.

Thus I miss my old Land Rover, a lot. Did the job perfectly.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:43, Reply)

@ MLIAB
Not when only one model out of the entire Smart range has been successful.

Thats the ForTwo.

The Roadster/Coupés are to be rekindled by a British back-shed style company apparently.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:43, Reply)

hey!
I might not be wearing shorts today but I AM wearing pants!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:43, Reply)

What we really need
is wanderlust, HLT and whoever else, jiggling their boobies over a selection of fast cars.

Then we'd all be happy. Well, the men would, at least.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:44, Reply)

Coupe is generally used to describe a 2 door version of a car
And you stop likeing the cars I like Ethelred!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:44, Reply)

@MLIAB
I hope you're wrong otherwise there wont be any around worth buying by the time I can afford one. They look horrendous without the "boot bit" imo.

www.allcarpictures.com/pictures/smart/roadster-coupe/smart-roadster-coupe.jpg

='[
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:45, Reply)

@Kaol
You are quite correct, my good sir. Hence my preference for an estate car. A Land Rover (except the V8, which is stupidly expensive to run) wouldn't really get me to where I was going quickly enough.

Unless I had a gig in a ploughed field or something.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:46, Reply)

@ k2k6
I'm not taking my top off for your silly French car.

And anyway, it's not Monday any more. So ner.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:47, Reply)

I first heard
they were being canned from Mother who works in the motor industry and goes to the Geneva motor show. This was a long time ago though.

Looking at their website I don't see the ForFour or the Roadster.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:48, Reply)

my ideal car
is the Skoda one that's made of cake.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:49, Reply)

It could be
a 'top on' jiggle though. That would be quite acceptable.

But I accept that it's not Monday, so that's fair enough.

But it's only 6 days until next Monday...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:49, Reply)

counting the days?
I do hope you don't burst in the meantime.

If you catch my drift.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:52, Reply)

I was the one who let you know
I was just sorry ever after.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:54, Reply)

No, I won't burst, HLT
I have a blow-off valve, which can be activated to release excess pressure, thus preventing blowups.

So does my car

And with that, I'm off to post some letters and bask* in the lovely sunshine.

*walk about a bit
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:55, Reply)

RocketOn
Just read about www.rocketon.com/ at news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/7591982.stm

Looks rather fun imo. Being able to chat to random other people viewing the same webpage as me sounds cool.

Does pose some serious questions though: How to deal with the Garry Glitter's of this world that'd use it for starters.
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)

@ al
I was going to say "you decide", but it seems you already have...

*hands tissues*

@k2k6 - oh good.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:01, Reply)

amps, guitars etc are a pain in the arse
that is why you have a van for the band, driven by the singer who can't be trusted with something that goes fast

then I drive to the gig in the car of my choosing

namely a Porsche 356 Speedster
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:04, Reply)

Right
Who would like some bread fresh from the oven?


( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:10, Reply)

@ MLIAB
Wish it was smell'o'net :(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:11, Reply)

Bad News
Re: The Skoda Cake:

When they had finished making the advert they threw it away. Apparently, after ages below the studio lights, it was no longer safe to eat.

But then a spotty man came, and took the skoda cake to mother nature who... Oh, wait. That's Superted.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:16, Reply)

DiT
I congratulate you on your fine TV knowledge. Have a cake.

*proffers*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:17, Reply)

Do I lie like a loungeroom lizard...
Or do I sing like a bird released?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:19, Reply)

@ Ethelred
Oh difficult.

I'm determined not to google it.

*edit* I don't know the next line but 'Weather With You'?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:21, Reply)

'tis a good song
One of my favourites. Was just on the radio also :)

EDIT: Yep, "Everywhere you go, always take the weather with you" is the next line.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:22, Reply)

Apparently
they composted it.

I'm sure they could have given it away with a disclaimer.

I'd have eaten a bit. Probably the alternator or something would have been enough.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:26, Reply)

@ K2K^
A gob full of Cakey DC current, eh?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:27, Reply)

I thought
They covered the car is some stuff and it's in the skoda factory/museum things
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Yes, Ethelred
a cake with a kick.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Wonder this time wheres shes gone...
wonder if shes gonna stay?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:30, Reply)

nom nom
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cake

the cake in the top picture looks so delicious

this isn't ilovehorses in case you are concerned
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:31, Reply)

mm cake
mm horse cake

farm3.static.flickr.com/2075/1858713145_cc24d4516b.jpg
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:35, Reply)

Hello
Back from lunch. Some great replies to the car thread :) Ethelred, you don't need to remind me of that horror, I was reminded of it yesterday upon hearing the news that Aston Martin is reviving the Lagonda brand.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:35, Reply)

Really?
The Lagonda is possibly the ugliest car in the world ever and is definitely the ugliest Aston ever.

Unless of course it's the 1930' one. Which isn't too bad
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:40, Reply)

oil tank? golden syrup?
i'd fight you for it, al!

after I'd let you watch me eat the gear lever first, though...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:42, Reply)

The Lagonda was butt ugly
Alas, it was the first production car to feature a digital dashboard display though.

(google it, it looks even worse than the wedge itself)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:45, Reply)

Yep
Story here. I think what they want to do is start making luxury saloon type cars to rival the BMWs, Audis and Mercedes. Maybe even Rolls and Bentley?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:45, Reply)

@ al
you love it really.

you do.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:47, Reply)

They did some concept work back in '93
It still looked ugly though.

www.carstyling.ru/cars.1993_Aston%20Martin_Lagonda%20Vignale.html

What is going on with the back end!?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:49, Reply)

@HLT
I'm surprised you didn't refer to it as the 'gear knob'.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:50, Reply)

TGB
That reminds me of one of the new Mercs. It looks like a slug.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:51, Reply)

was tempted to old chap
but you know I am a lady. I don't talk about knobs.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:54, Reply)

Lawd
that looks terrible. Never seen that before!

In other news, cake?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:54, Reply)

Cock rod?
Back from lunch.
Time to apply for a job.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 13:57, Reply)

So there I was...
Walking along the road on my break, enjoying the fact that it wasn't raining and knowing I had a tasty sandwich in my bag that was waiting to be devoured. When all of a sudden I could hear music, old school jungle. I turned the corner to be greeted by a few happy chappies wearing high vis jackets, glow sticks in hand raving away.

'What?!' Thinks I. 'There's a rave going on and no one invited me?! Fuck that!' So I marched straight up to them and started raving my little heart out. The drum n bass kicked in just as I started pulling the big fish out of the box.
All of a sudden 10 other people in high vis jackets appear out of no where and in turn start pulling out their best moves.

Then, I left. Leaving behind me a crowd of happy faces and startled on lookers.

impromptu lunch time raves FTW!!!!!
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:06, Reply)

WL
That's fantastic!
I love the fact they had hi-vis!
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:09, Reply)

@kaol
I'm grinning from ear to ear now.
That has made my fucking day!
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:09, Reply)

@ al
well at least my nose has length, girth and is hard.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:11, Reply)

It's pretty fuckin' cool!
I've had a dull day by contrast...
I did get a photoshop magazine that has some cool-looking brushes on the CD with it...
And I had a coffee for lunch.
And a cigarette.
And another cigarette.
And a double vodka.

I'm feeling slightly more alive now.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:13, Reply)

yay to feeling slightly more alive!
I wish my phone wasn't broken so I could have taken pictures :(

Ahhh well. Hopefully they'll be back soon.


I really, really hope they are. That was so much fun
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:18, Reply)

*is envious of wanderlust*
Much cooler than sitting at your desk eating lunch.
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:18, Reply)

any grammararians around?
Which context requires "whom" and which context requires "who"? I am writing a statement selling my soul and have claimed that I am good at written and verbal communication and don't want to spak it up by using the wrong bloody word!
A rave? Jealous.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:26, Reply)

I hate staying in here for my break.
I have to get out, even if it's for 10minutes I always feel so much better. I hate it when it's all rainy and miserbale as it's not nice walking about and getting all wet.
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)

I was taught it as object and subject
when I was at school. Not sure if that applies any more though.

Who is that suave gentleman? (Subject - refers to the man)

The men, two of whom were suave. (Object - refers to the suavity)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Smart Cars
Do not ever, and I mean ever, buy the Coupe/Roadster if you plan to drive in the rain.

They ceased production because no-one was buying them as they were ludicrously expensive, the residuals were awful, and they were built in a shed. And every single one leaked like a sieve, to a degree that dealers were advised to drill holes in the floor to let the water run out.

Fun to drive, though, surprisingly quick, but too small for a fat blerk like me.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Osok
They're cool looking, but I don't think that there'd be very much room for me in one, what with being about 6 foot 2.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:38, Reply)

Ace thanks
That's what I thought. I'll stick with what I've written then. More than likely it won't be read anyway!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:38, Reply)

J'arrive back from Lunch!
Afternoon!

Been raving, I see? *big fish little fish cardboard boxes*

Looks like the Sun is making some effort... Give me sunshine!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:39, Reply)

What's the context?
It's always good to get a friend to check it over, as looking over it too much can make it look wrong, if you know what I mean.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:40, Reply)

Sun? Effort?
It's fucking grey here.

Also, I've just been asked to change some info on a form...
*cough*
It's not forgery...
*cough*

*photoshops*
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:42, Reply)

and i quote
...depending on where I am and with whom I am talking...

See, now it looks wrong again.
I hate english grammar.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)

I would say
"to whom I am talking to"

:)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:46, Reply)

@ Badger
"to whom I am talking"

you don't need the second "to", since you are already talking to them.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)

Woo! Thunder!
I do like a good thunderstorm...
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:48, Reply)

TGB
That sounds odd out of context, what with the repetition of "to".

I'd say "Give me a fuckin' job, or I'll stab you in the fuckin' guts".

This is why I'm stuck in this crappy job...
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:48, Reply)

Ah touche
You are indeed correct. I realised after I hit submit but my internet is so slow by the time I got round to "edit" you had replied :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Just checking if these links work.
url.webspaceforhosting.com/4/

url.webspaceforhosting.com/5/
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 14:58, Reply)

@ The Grammar Badger
What time does this promo start tonight? My step brother is coming round tonight so we might pop down to the Well at some point if we've finished saving the world by a good time!

Edit: Thanks for those links Ethelred.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:01, Reply)

it's tomorrow Himjim :)
But if you aren't saving the world then I think it starts at about 7ish. Come say Hi so then I can admire your moustache in person!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:04, Reply)

I'm bored
working for a living sucks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:17, Reply)

You have very saucy sigs recently Vipros
And work is rubbish which is why B3ta was invented
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:19, Reply)

@ himjim
Sorry about that, look out for them in future releases!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:20, Reply)

they are mostly lyrics from songs
the current one is Orgasmatron by Motorhead

great song

the cock made out of platinum one is from a Monster Magnet song

some days I don't feel like I get in to the b3ta conversations for some reason. not able to give it enough attention to keep up perhaps...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:22, Reply)

It does suck, V!
But you have an awesome band to break in to the big time with!

It'll be guitars, groupies and, er, gamboling from here on out!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)

@ Grammar Badger
1. Norks.

2. Tomorrow is Caturday, I might not be able to make it.

3. My moustache is undergoing re-growing. Since that picture in my profile, I trimmed off too much by accident and had to start again. :*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:27, Reply)

Yeah the threads either run riot or it's really stagnant
I spend too much time on here.

What the hell is Caturday?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:28, Reply)

Talking of bands...
We recorded a joke metal song last night.
A minute and ten seconds of brutality.

Or not.

We really need to get proper recording done, a USB mic into a laptop, with a coat over it really doesn't do the job.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:30, Reply)

DiT
that is true, and I can only hope that we do make it. although it seems unlikely.

@TGB: I spend too much time here too, good job I've never worked to my full potential, otherwise people would be able to have noticed a drop in my productivity!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Caturday is a name I stole from 4chan
for when I have to go to my mum's and give my cat his insulin injection :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:32, Reply)

noon all
sorry I nicked off there.

Where has the conversation got too?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:34, Reply)

Bonjour
tout le monde ...
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:40, Reply)

S'up Ed, Mrs L!
Right...
I'm still busy working on this forged carefully altered document.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:42, Reply)

Bonjour Edmund!
je suis un grand jambon
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:42, Reply)

I've been doing proper work today
It's interfered with b3ta no end.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:44, Reply)

le singe est sur l'autobus
il fume un pipe!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:44, Reply)

Pour le sake de fuck
Qu'est ce que vous tout on about?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:46, Reply)

J'ai les boules géantes!
so there!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:46, Reply)

Vipros
There is not a smoking monkey on the bus.

You do not have giant balls.
They were of average size.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:48, Reply)

Baise-chausettes!
I wonder if les b3tardes de France use that phrase?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)

Bastard bear-bum-buggering big baggy blowjob-bleeding bollocksacks
I've been rejected from another company I had an interview at (the one in Oxfordshire). I've just got one company left to hear from.

In other news, I've finally written my account of the Aug 23rd b3tabash. I may write my own entry for this week's QOTW, but it's epic and I've not sure I've got the time to finish it.

300 replies! Anything interesting happen here today?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)

Kaol:
why do you always spoil my fun :-(

*sulks*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:51, Reply)

Because
Killing fun is fun.
Plus it's a kind of legal killing.
So... *kills*
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:52, Reply)

Oh Spakka
Giant stinking cockends.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:53, Reply)

*huggles for spakka*
:(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:55, Reply)

oh spakka
You have my sympathy. I'm being rejected for jobs left right and centre at the moment.
Yesterday I applied for 9. Today I had to write a 600 word description of myself and why I was suitable for the role concerned.
Gash isn't it?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:56, Reply)

Shit LVP
I hate that kind of crap, and I don't think I know 600 words if I can't use swears.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:58, Reply)

Me too
I hate having to sell myself. it's quite soul destroying. So much so I've emailed it to my mum to read so she can help me.
It's ground me down so much I need my mummy to help me.
*bottom lip wobbles a la 3 year old*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 15:59, Reply)

hugs :)
For all!

Kaol you may be able to kill the fun but you can't kill rock 'n roll
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:03, Reply)

Thanks for the hugs
Hopefully, there will be a job offer on the other side of the forest of cock-ends. If I don't get a job-offer from the other company, it's wash, rinse, and repeat all over again for me.

@LvP: I agree - selling yourself really does fuck with your head. I usually try and be modest, but this selling yourself thing pushed me right out of the bounds of my personality. When I got my first job, I couldn't switch it back off so easilly and my work-colleagues' first impressions of me were that I was arrogant. I paniced a bit because this was not how I wanted to come out accross as.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:04, Reply)

That's because
I AM rock and roll.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:06, Reply)

Kaol
at most you are roll, and I'm not even sure about that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:07, Reply)

Anyone else
detest the new Verve single?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:08, Reply)

* Pats kaol on the head*
awww ok :)

Spakka I know it's horrible looking for jobs but stick with it :) Also you are awesome and I will be a reference on your CV to tell employers that :p

And you too LvP!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:10, Reply)

Oh, sorry, Spakka!
and you too, LvP!

For those of us hunting for jobs (especially grads) - it's hard out there right now. There are thousands of you all fighting for the same jobs.

I know it feels like you're fighting a losing battle, and I know that it looks like you'll never get on top of it - but believe me, you will. It does, as you're finding out, take a little bit of perseverance, is all. But:

- Don't apply for jobs you don't want.
- Don't take a job you don't want considering it a stop-gap - pursue your goals.
- Be realistic - a load of lies are fed to graduates about starting salaries. The harsh reality is you're probably looking at around £17k (in London) starting salary, even if you have got letters after your name. But remember, work hard and those numbers will rise!
- Never, ever, ever, ever, ever become a recruitment consultant. When you decide ro change careers, you'll fight for 3 long depressing years to get someone to give you a chance.

If you need advice, gaz me. I know a bit about this stuff! ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:11, Reply)

Hahaha!
Ten points to Mr. Vipros for making me laugh out loud in the office.

In other news, we're rocking out to White/Rob Zombie this afternoon.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)

good advice DiT
Ethelred: I despise the Verve and everything they stand for. always have.

woo! 10 points!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)

In Better News ...
... and without wishing to tempt fate ...


I'm NO LONGER SINGLE!

Woo!!!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:17, Reply)

Edmund!
Congrats!

How is your twin?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:18, Reply)

Good news Edmund
Now go and tell us how it happened on the QOTW board!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Cool!
In the spirit of QOTW, how did you meet her?

EDIT: Fuck you K2k6! Fuck you with a rake!
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Excellent advice DiT
and good luck to LvP and Spakka!

@Kaol - Rocking out to Black Sabbath over here :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Thanks for the advice DiT
I got my first job through bloody-minded perserverence, and if necessary, will do so again.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)

Nice one Edmund!
Was this the same person you mentioned in the chat-thread the other night?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:20, Reply)

I find that
Blackmail usually works*!






*Does not condone the use of blackmail in any way...

EDIT: Nice one, Edmund old boy! What's she like then?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:21, Reply)

HA!
For once, I got in before the knifey one.

Let me have my small victory, Kaol. It doesn't happen often!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:25, Reply)

Ok K...
It's not like you're getting any younger :P
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:27, Reply)

Hmph
*waves walking stick at Kaol*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:28, Reply)

*grins*
At least you don't have to pay for the bus, eh?

Hmmm... I seem to have killed the thread...
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:29, Reply)

@ Kaol
I'm answering through pity for you.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)

*shrugs*
I'm off home in 15 minutes, no big deal...
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:46, Reply)

@ spakka
aw dude.

*ensnuggles in hug of comfort*

@LvP - aw missis. *gives girly hug*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:49, Reply)

Sorry
my typing's a bit slow because of the arthritis...

Aye, is it buggery! I was working, unfortunately.

Edit - hello again, tulip
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:50, Reply)

thanks people
I had a little pathetic half an hour of feeling sorry for myself and now I'm back to being me.
yay. might have a cuppa in a minute. that'll help. it always does.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:52, Reply)

Greetings HLT
* ensnuggles self in HLT's snuggly bits *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:52, Reply)

'lo again mr k
how's my favourite french-car-driving-toffee-donut-supplying-MondayMondaysnoggy-Monday-Dundonian?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:52, Reply)

Mines
milk and 1 sugar please LvP :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:52, Reply)

Ok ethel
Do you want the mug with the puffin on or the camel?
Edit - It's obviously a mug with a camel on. not a camel full of tea. that'd be messy. And probably quite spitty.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:54, Reply)

I like Puffins
so that one, please :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:56, Reply)

Pah.
The French car will be costing me more money tomorrow. Don't remind me of it, HLT.

I wouldn't mind if it was old. But it's given me grief since the day I drove it out of the showroom.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:57, Reply)

good choice
I like puffins too. Did you see the Gordon Ramsay show where he went puffin hunting? I am a proud meat eater and think that people who eat meat should acknowledge that it comes from animals and not be babies about it...
but the poor lickle puffin! He caught one and it made the saddest noise in the world. poor ickle fing.
Therefore I am a meateater who does not eat puffin. I think thats fair enough.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 16:58, Reply)

Right...
I'm off now.
My lack of a social life means that I'll be on later, while doing some design work.

Catch you all later.
( Cawl, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:00, Reply)

I saw that one...
They tried to make it look all dangerous and egdy, except you could clearly see they were wearing safety harnesses.

The puffins were dead cute though. And caught in a sustainable way. So I reckon I'd eat one.

But only in that country, and only once. Wouldn't buy in in Tesco or anything...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:01, Reply)

I've never eaten puffin
but I did see a programme on the telly the other night about a bloke looking for whales in Shetland, in which puffins featured.

They are very odd, yet cute, birds.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:02, Reply)

puffiny cuteness
I suppose it was clearly sustainable.
but I don't think I could eat it. It didn't look great either, really purple meat.
I have perfected my puffin impression now. I do it to Mr VP to freak him out sometimes.
God thats a boring fact isn't it?!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:03, Reply)

urgh, Tesco Value Puffin!
It'd probably be a squirrel in a wig.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:04, Reply)

@LvP
Is this an impression of a dying puffin, or a live one?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:07, Reply)

Have you ever eaten pigeon?
Looked almost exactly the same.

Talking of animal impressions, I do a very good Llama face, in a variety of emotions!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:08, Reply)

k2k6
It's one that has been caught and doesn't want to die.
it's a very sad impression. it makes him sad. i only do it when I have to.
Edit - him being mr VP of course
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:08, Reply)

that's odd
Mr tulip does excellent pigeon impressions.

the gay one is my favourite.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:14, Reply)

Right
I'm off downstairs to cook some yummy dinner for my mothership who should be home soon.
I shall no doubt be back online tomorrow for more job fun and more.
Take care and stay true to the puffins!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:15, Reply)

Bye Lucy
(I actually typed Lucky there and had to correct it!)

WTF does a gay pigeon sound like, HLT?

Can't say I've ever knowingly encountered one.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:19, Reply)

I can't reproduce the noise
as I lack the talent.

but it is jolly funny.

he also does tired/angry/baby/horny/ginger/posh/scary and dying pigeons
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:21, Reply)

Ginger pigeons?
Now that is odd.

They do appear to have died out though. Possibly as a result of natural selection.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:25, Reply)

let's hope so
pigeons are nasty.

you still at work, mr k?


edit: I've been here too long. I was just looking at our programme and misread "the art of plastering" as "the art of pleasuring"
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:27, Reply)

Yes. I'm still here
Details have been despatched under separate cover.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:31, Reply)

After an afternoon of having to ignore b3ta
I'm homeward bound. Hurrah.
( Captain V, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 17:36, Reply)

I am off
See you all in the morning.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 18:00, Reply)