I've been in discussions with Rob about fingering dogs. Apparently it's similar to humans, but you don't need the latex. Dog's are a bit cleaner apparently.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:28, 139 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Who uses latex when fingering?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:30, Reply)

"Doctors"
Never mind
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:30, Reply)

Anyone here know a lot about the Second World War?
I need an argument settled.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:46, Reply)

It seems unlikely that there's anyone here obsessed with nazis

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:47, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:49, Reply)

Also depends on your definition of "a lot"

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:57, Reply)

Who won, us or the Africans?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:59, Reply)

noone won its still ongoing

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:04, Reply)

In a way, no one.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:07, Reply)

Han shot first

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:52, Reply)

Shut up, Greedo.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:07, Reply)

Shut up Vagabond you prick.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:07, Reply)

That was their train of thought also.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:56, Reply)

What about it?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:57, Reply)

I'm having an argument with a friend who claims that Hitler didn't intend to harm the UK until we declared war.
I say that's bollocks.

There's little evidence to back my rejection up, but given the historical evidence of his character and his plans, I'd say that we would have been next anyway.

He's being a contrarian prick, basically.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:06, Reply)

I believe he respected the uk and had show some platitudes towards us remaining Independent whilst Germany ruled Europe
How long this could have lasted is anyone's guess
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:19, Reply)

Our German monarchy no doubt had some influence.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:20, Reply)

haha, wrong again, vaggo

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:26, Reply)

you weren't there
thus you can have no opinion
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:31, Reply)

alrizzle me niggaz

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:03, Reply)

You have two beers
One is nice and cold the other not cold enough. Do you

A: drink the warmer one in the knowledge that the colder will still be ok when you get to it?

Or

B: drink the colder one first for maximum enjoyment the man up for the warm one?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:15, Reply)

Drink the colder one. Shove the warmer one in the freezer.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:16, Reply)

THEY ARE TRAIN CANS YOU UTTER TWAT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:17, Reply)

Wait till you get home pisshead.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:21, Reply)

or this.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:22, Reply)

That's an hour and a half away and today has been poo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:22, Reply)

should have stayed in london

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:24, Reply)

Would've if I could've
Barnes was very much home, but I'd need a maybe £750-£900k for a nice three bed with decent garden :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:26, Reply)

You're looking about £700 for a flat in Aberdeen these days.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:26, Reply)

No one cares because no one wants to live there, they have to live there

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:35, Reply)

Are you some sort of cunt?
Lots of people want to live here because oil companies tend to pay over the odds.

Offshore someone as dim as you could probably make about £50k for pushing a broom.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:39, Reply)

yeah, average offshore salary is what, 77k or thereabouts?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:40, Reply)

Something like that, yeah.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:41, Reply)

and yet you moved to england
to do the world's most boring job for £2k?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:57, Reply)

it beats getting fucked by psychochomp in exchange for no pizza

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:59, Reply)

yay! old memes! lol!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:19, Reply)

So they have to live there to be near to the oil

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:44, Reply)

I see the council are considering an Aberdeen weighting for their employees as well
The property market up there is mental.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:39, Reply)

Tell me about it.
I was looking into trying to buy a flat recently. I've got a decent deposit saved up but I can't afford the £15-30 grand over the asking price that isn't covered by a mortgage.

National companies (that work with big oil companies) struggle to keep staff up here because local competitors can charge less and pay staff more.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:42, Reply)

one of my friends bought a flat in Ferryhill for 70K in 1997.
She just sold it at a ridiculous profit.

The BBC were reporting that property up there has done 100% growth over the last ten years and average rents for flats are a grand a month. Mental.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:49, Reply)

That's 17 years! You'd do less time for murder

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:01, Reply)

frog and i went out in barnes recently
he liked it. it was a bit full of double buggies and 4x4's for me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:28, Reply)

Stay about from my Barnes
It's pretty family orientated, but then I have two little girls so fits perfectly
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:29, Reply)

it's the women
all yoga doing blondes, trying to pretend they used to have careers and used to be interesting, whilst weaving their own organic yoghurt out of breastmilk and wiping giant couscous off baby mabel's face with a natural non-bleached yurt cloth.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:31, Reply)

That's us!
It's actually not that bad, but considering your northern sink estate upbringing I can imagine it's a little intimidating
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:34, Reply)

yah i used to work at goldmans but now all i can talk about are how many times a day my kid shits itself... meanwhile the husband tries to hide the reek of gin and tonic and secretarial minge that persists on his breath, however much he protests that he has been in a meeting/at the gym...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:40, Reply)

Drink the cold one first so it doesn't get as warm as the warm one.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:21, Reply)

This was the decision I made, I figured the alcohol in the first would make the warmth bearable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:26, Reply)

Although if you're getting train cans you might want to drink the warm one first as a shake-shifter so you don't spill the cold one.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:31, Reply)

drink the colder one
save the warmer one

put it in the fridge at home
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:18, Reply)

AHHGHGGGHHHHGYHGGGGGGYGhggffggghh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:19, Reply)

i said "in the fridge"
not "up your arse"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:23, Reply)

Vodka.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:39, Reply)

Shut up jason

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:53, Reply)

A: drink the warmer one, then the colder one
Or alternatively, B: don't be such a chronic drunkard and wait til you get home to chill the warm one.
(berk, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:49, Reply)

Cans of what brand of beer?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:53, Reply)

M&S Belgium lager :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:57, Reply)

So why didn't you pick up two cold ones?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:59, Reply)

Because commuters from Waterloo are drunkards who had bought them all

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:04, Reply)

Write to M&S to complain.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:04, Reply)

I've just woken from a completely unplanned nap.
I should be in the pub.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:52, Reply)

It's all go in that there Brizzle
We are vaguely contemplating Bristol as a living location
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:58, Reply)

You could do a lot worse.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:00, Reply)

re, current news
before you ask, it isn't me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:25, Reply)

So you're not Hamas, Israel or George Galloway then.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:29, Reply)

definitely not

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:30, Reply)

So what aspect of current news are you not?
Y'right Cavy?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:35, Reply)

the maniac with a gun at the top of the fancy tower

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:36, Reply)

Full metal jacket
"He was a MARINE!"
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:38, Reply)

This isn't national news yet
Are you Kermit the Frog with a fast-breaking news story exclusive to the Gower Peninsular?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:43, Reply)

no
I have fb, though. It is on the BBC website and the local news site is on the case with twitter links to footballers eating their tea www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/BREAKING-Police-helicopter-responding-incident/story-22276284-detail/story.html#83mEudf4QfxqGmLr.01
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:44, Reply)

My goodness
Please get under a table or other item of furniture at once.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:57, Reply)

Alright TD?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:59, Reply)

Not bad
I was at Old Trafford yesterday - hopefully get there Sunday too.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:05, Reply)

You missed nothing today!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:07, Reply)

Wish I'd been there.
A test when you know the weather is coming in is a great atmosphere.

Sunday is a shite forecast but today has changed the pitch.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:14, Reply)

Even worse WELSH

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:31, Reply)

still not welsh

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:32, Reply)

So what are you this weekend?
Ogre? Orc? Elf?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:01, Reply)

and if none of those, are you LARPING?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:02, Reply)

human watching balloons
possibly also drunk. Hopefully on cocktails
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:02, Reply)

Watching Balloons?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:04, Reply)

if it doesn't rain.
balloons look nice
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:05, Reply)

Hot air?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:06, Reply)

that's what I usually talk, yes

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:25, Reply)

Heading to Bristol then.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:05, Reply)

yup
but I think it's going to be rainy so there'll be no ballooons :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:06, Reply)

Go straight to the pub then.
Where are you going for cocktails?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:08, Reply)

i don't know
I just said cocktails, I don't know if it'll actually happen. There's a chance we'll just end up drinking in the hotel. Not that I remember where that is either. Basically I'm getting in a car and going where I'm told. is there somewhere good near where the balloons are?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:24, Reply)

Thanks for that, Shaggy.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:52, Reply)

What's your question

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:06, Reply)

Yeah what a cunt, you should deffo shank the Mo' Fo'

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:07, Reply)

New thread needed

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:11, Reply)

Crack on then Mr Drimble.
Half an hour before pit for me.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:17, Reply)

There's nothing I want to know

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:24, Reply)

What has the Malteser headed runner done to you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:11, Reply)