Oh dear Tesco.
What was the biggest mistake you made?
You can't say Hitler or Dozer.

Plans for the week? Im off to see a drag stand up comic this weekend. she is FUNNY and highly offensive.

alt. why so dead? why so serious?
altalt. Pimp my hotdog.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 13:53, 97 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Going out with Amanda
strikethrough man lol. Nope, she was a 100% certifiable lunatic and I have the scars to prove it. I binned her off and she snared a mate and they now have twins.

This week I will be mainly doing fuck all.

Alt:
Get ready for a surprise!!

AltAlt:
I always pour in a little bit of the hotdog water into the onions when making them at home. It makes them taste like a real dirty street vendor
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 13:58, Reply)

a man... dur?
I always find it weird when mates get with exes. Even if it's years later.

alt. TOTAL RECALL!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:00, Reply)

when i was 18, we went on a post a-level holiday to corfu
the dirty burger vendor stuck his finger up my friend's bum. actually up inside it. she screamed, he laughed.

and carried on making burgers with that very same unwashed hand.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:07, Reply)

hahaha!
wtf?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Nutty

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:10, Reply)

Why wasn't she wearing any pants?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:13, Reply)

Corfuck

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:16, Reply)

this was the 90's and it was greece in august, so in the 90's even in the evening
she was wearing a summer dress and a thong.

she was definitely to blame for tolerating the flirting of the dirty old twat, and for going to stand behind the burger stall with him. but she did NOT deserve that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Yeah, 'your friend'......

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:16, Reply)

No harm done

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:17, Reply)

I'm just saying that 'her friends' tell the story slightly differently

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:18, Reply)

One up the bum....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:19, Reply)

'would you like onions on that?'
'No, I'd like some spincter scratchings please'
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:18, Reply)

One lump or two?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:18, Reply)

* something about sweetcorn relish *

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:19, Reply)

My plans include getting used to my new reading glasses.
#OLD.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:01, Reply)

^ eyespaz ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:06, Reply)

Innit. I knew I was in need when I had to increase the font size of my web browser & on my kindle app.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:07, Reply)

now, what causes eyesight to deteriorate?
hmmm..........
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Juan King

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Everyone one on here already knows I'm a massive wanker.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:13, Reply)

clickin dis

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:52, Reply)

Now all we need is a mute!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:10, Reply)

I'm looking for some hot cock action in the Fallowfield area. Just downloaded my Grindr app.

(Mr Udagawa, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:05, Reply)

You wont find me on there.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:11, Reply)

I had 'the monster dog' last week, smoked bratwurst wrapped in bacon and covered in melted cheese and chilli, it was super, and they sold that lager I like in big nommy German style pint glasses

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:08, Reply)

I had an Italian burger on Friday
A massive meatball with smoked cbeese and crispy parma ham on the top

NOMMAGE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:09, Reply)

That sounds good, I have lasagne later from the posh food shop. It's about 12 layers thick.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:10, Reply)

It was REALLY good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:18, Reply)

This is what I was looking for. Got some posh hot dog sausages from M&S at the weekend. in the freezer for this one.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:11, Reply)

M&S do some frankfurters which are pretty good, if you like a bit of German sausage action

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:14, Reply)

Ja! I think they are calling these "posh dogs"

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:24, Reply)

WHERE WAS THIS AND WHY HAVEN'T WE BEEN?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:39, Reply)

The drafthouse, and 'we' have been twice!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Have I been?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:42, Reply)

you'd love it
hundreds of beers and dirty american food, ie really good burgers and sausages and mac'n'cheese. there's one quite near your office on seething lane:

www.drafthouse.co.uk/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:45, Reply)

That's right near my office.
I went in there once with Paul and Monty but it was too packed with football knobbers so we went to the Cheese.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:47, Reply)

the battersea one is my favourite, it's never as busy plus you get to see the bridge/river
but admittedly a giant ballache for you to get to. i do think you'd like it, however. maybe try a monday at 11am?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:52, Reply)

So you do like it "South of the River"
I KNEW IT
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:56, Reply)

Educating Marmalade

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:10, Reply)

What have tesco done?
Head butt competition. Got a nasty scar Yo remind me how stupid that was.
I'm gonna work, and go for a bike ride or 2, drink heavily, read a bit of my book. Maybe watch a film. Maybe play some computer games. Post on here a bit. A fair bit of sleeping. But no drag acts.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:15, Reply)

It's not an act, right?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:17, Reply)

It's an abomination

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:22, Reply)

They predicted £250m more profit than they or something.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:25, Reply)

Right. Good.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:28, Reply)

HEY STUNNED! IT WAS SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU!

( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:25, Reply)

he hates you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:36, Reply)

So do you, you always let me down
I'd say it breaks my heart but really its only stunned I care about
( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:12, Reply)

Welcs.
I didn't have time, brah! I was driving the car for 13 hours over the weekend.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:40, Reply)

Noon all.
1) If it's a drag stand-up, then the correct term is he.
alt: fuck knows.
altalt: It looks like it's already been pimped with smears of nutella, pieces of sweetcorn and a partially digested peanut.
( Muns, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:36, Reply)

it's she!! Bianca Del Rio

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:42, Reply)

So confused ^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:49, Reply)

If she has bollocks (not the poster formerly known as Battered, although its not beyond all reckoning) Then she is a HE

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:51, Reply)

Takes walk on wild side

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:51, Reply)

Would you accept them as a "she" once all the bits have been cut off?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:54, Reply)

Damn right I would WOOOOOOF

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:59, Reply)

yes but when he is in SHE character, it is a she.
Like when they do it on Little Britain, but not the Laydees.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:55, Reply)

A lady with a willy is no lady at all

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:59, Reply)

Generally accepted ladyboy etiquette is to use the personal pronoun of the character/person presented.
Therefore, she's a she. This also applies to trannies, pre, post or without op.
( Kroney, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:00, Reply)

you tell 'em girlfriend

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:20, Reply)

Then I stand corrected by someone who appears to be an expert on ladyboys.

( Muns, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:48, Reply)

fnarr
pbs.twimg.com/media/ByIr1KtIYAAXbx2.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:37, Reply)

I think I work there

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:48, Reply)

plot twist - it's EARTH

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 16:27, Reply)

I just had a well exciting lunch break.
Not going to see anything like that again, that's for sure. Once in a lifetime excitement!
( Kroney, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 14:59, Reply)

Cheese sarnie, AMIRITE?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:03, Reply)

Do you care to fill in the gaps?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:04, Reply)

I bought some BOOT LACES :O

( Kroney, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:04, Reply)

Strawberry ones I hope

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:05, Reply)

I had some chewit ones at the weekend. Proper long they were.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:07, Reply)

I love shit like that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:09, Reply)

No, laces. For my boots. Boot laces.

( Kroney, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:11, Reply)

Last time I bought laces they were genuinely far too long

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:20, Reply)

All my footwear came with laces

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:22, Reply)

All your mocassins are belong to us

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:23, Reply)

i wanted a different colour

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:23, Reply)

Did you put grolsch bottle tops on them as well?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:24, Reply)

eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:25, Reply)

*drops boy*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:26, Reply)

I can't answer that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:27, Reply)

When will Matt Goss become famous?

( Peej, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:44, Reply)

Isn't matt gloss just satin?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:46, Reply)

Mine came apart

( Kroney, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:27, Reply)

fat feet^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)

I've always found iot hard to fins decent laces on the high-street, luckily I know a quality online retailer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:24, Reply)

Cor what about that sexy Windy Pig eh?
i.imgur.com/sjYVKdq.gif
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 15:49, Reply)

ARGH!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 16:01, Reply)

Still would.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 16:02, Reply)

Noo thred with no sexeh clowns

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 16:03, Reply)