Aww man. I missed SOUP CHAT?!
What's your Christmas tipple? Do you break out the Baileys? What's a good wine to have?

alt. When's your works do and what are you doing? Ours is the 20th, meal at Australasia again and then party time. We are in Monday and Tues so have to behave!

altalt. Whens the last time you laughed out loud?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:53, 119 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

baileys is just whisky and evaporated milk for absolute cunts
I'm dragging a case of Fitou out of the cellar.

Altalt: I'm laughing constantly ... that's why I'm chained to this rubber wall
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:55, Reply)

My xmas tipple is lager and probably some 'vin'
Alt: Tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday in Spain. Probably afternoon beers on the 23rd somehwere in Islington. Come along if you're free.
Altalt: Swipey makes me laugh quite a lot so probably something she said yesterday or the day before. /gay
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:59, Reply)

Aww :)
Laughter is important. If a man don;t make me laugh he gets the old heave ho (not a euphemism)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:02, Reply)

I could make you laugh.
zzzzzzzip
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:02, Reply)

WATCH OUT HES OPENED THE BUM BAG

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:08, Reply)

The last time I laughed out loud^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:12, Reply)

*three Korean women fall out, dazed and confused*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:12, Reply)

bit racist m8, they just look that way because of their 'special' eyes

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:14, Reply)

I heard they see everything in widescreen

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:15, Reply)

their screens go vertical not horizontal

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:17, Reply)

clicking this
/ac
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:13, Reply)

Swipe laughs in a strange way, for instance, yesterday I was doing a hilariously accurate Chris Tarrant impression
Her laughter seems to manifest as an unhappy, slightly annoyed face. Women eh??!!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:04, Reply)

Christ I'd blotted that out
You looked like a mong taking a shit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:08, Reply)

I look like that when I am taking a shit too, weird innit?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:08, Reply)

So does Tarrant

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:09, Reply)

Yes, I *have* seen him taking a shit actually

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:10, Reply)

I'm not denying the accuracy of the chris tarrant thing

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:09, Reply)

we have a right laugh not on here

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:11, Reply)

well that explains the laugh face

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:10, Reply)

Isn't Islington shit and for cunts?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:13, Reply)

Well I work there, so probably :(((

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:16, Reply)

So are you planning Ot Xmas drinks or summit? Day or evening?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:19, Reply)

Nothing gets past you!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:21, Reply)

Actually I was referring to work drinks, soz benders.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:21, Reply)

Oh...well ok then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:25, Reply)

my car failed it is MOT
thanks for the support guys
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:06, Reply)

Get a new one

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:08, Reply)

lol povvo shit-car

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:11, Reply)

What does this have to do with my questions?
For someone who takes things literally, you sure are ignorant.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:12, Reply)

he's mugging you off, mate
you should report him for homophobia
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:13, Reply)

It has got nothing to do with your question.
It's called 'off topic' yeah?

YEAH?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:15, Reply)

Start your own fucking topic.
I bet you trade in the scrap and buy an ice cream van
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:18, Reply)

Har har, even mine went through the last two with no advisories and it's 24 years old.

( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:15, Reply)

lol povvo shit-car

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:16, Reply)

At least his has an MOT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:17, Reply)

That went through its last two MOTs without any problems.
lol Ballbo Bagginses car sucks worse than mine
( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:18, Reply)

It may not have an MOT
but it's still a fanny magnet. They'll just have to come to me now.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:19, Reply)

^has a Mind That Child sticker on his bumper ^

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:20, Reply)

Whatever you say, Ballbo, you're off the road and can't chase any kids' rings with your nadsgul now. That's the main thing.

( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:20, Reply)

bus noncing is quite a depressing thought

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:22, Reply)

It's just your Bus Noncing you're telling me lies
Bus Noncing no way to disguise
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:34, Reply)

BUS NONCE! Baby BUS NONCE!!
BUS NONCE BABY!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:40, Reply)

it has the slight advantage that he can drive it on public roads
which is always a nice feature for a car
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:18, Reply)

it certinaly makes them a more conveniant form of transport

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:24, Reply)

You should make your chrimblepoopypants name "Eggnog Snowden"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:17, Reply)

Why?

( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:18, Reply)

Coz it's better

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:20, Reply)

I'd neglected mine shamefully by ignoring its pleas for a service for quite some time
Sailed through everything, only needed new tyres. That's german engineering for you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:19, Reply)

The slk's with the small engines were known for their reliability

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:20, Reply)

It's a mighty 3 litres actually
It's the fucking bat mobile. I just hide my secret identity really well.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:24, Reply)

•b f
(Mr Udagawa, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:34, Reply)

apart from the tin top motors that get worn quite quickly

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:25, Reply)

German you say?
I've lost confidence in Nigerian engineering today. I might try it your way.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:25, Reply)

I don't have a car!!! I WIN AGAIN!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:22, Reply)

Alright Barry Gibb

( Kroney, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:23, Reply)

bus stop high fives!

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:24, Reply)

Last time I got on a bus was October last year

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:27, Reply)

I quite like London buses
When they are empty and going a scenic route.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:32, Reply)

and when there's no traffic!

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:34, Reply)

not when they're empty
mnnnnnng
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:52, Reply)

Me neither!! Manchester has a great transport system and I get a lift into work :)

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:28, Reply)

Can you drive?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:29, Reply)

Nope :(

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:53, Reply)

I win again

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:54, Reply)

Wow you must work in one of those tower blocks

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:31, Reply)

Bruntwood innit

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:53, Reply)

What did it fail on?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:10, Reply)

Glenfarclas 10.
Perfect Xmas whisky.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:21, Reply)

I have 4 different bottles in ready for Xmas
including Aberlour and Highland Park.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:40, Reply)

remember to pronounce Aberlour to rhyme with flower!
Also, what are the other two?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:46, Reply)

Monkey Shoulder and something the missus won in a raffle
Glen Orry or something, Speyside blend, bit sweet but nice enough, doubt it's expensive.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:49, Reply)

My xmas tipple this year will be Hibiki
Gorgeous Japanese blend.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:50, Reply)

Is that the one that won the taste award and put all the Scots noses out?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:53, Reply)

prolly
Scotland makes loads of mediocre whiskies and Japan makes loads of good ones.

Dunno what they get upset about really.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:56, Reply)

could have been yamazaki

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:57, Reply)

that's the one, just googled it

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:01, Reply)

baggenfock fucks his daughter

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:27, Reply)

he calls her "O Little Town"

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:28, Reply)

Our bosses are pleading poverty.
So they've decided to do something in the office. I've booked a half day off so I can avoid it. Last time they did something like that they bought a bottle of cheap tesco sparkling wine and shared it around in plastic cups.
( Muns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:40, Reply)

Oh God. A literal office party :(
Why would you want to do that where you work?
Why dont they just arrange a night out?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:46, Reply)

God knows.
Having said that, the office nights out are usually taken over by our mid-forties accounts woman who insists on arranging for us to go to bars full of people with cunt sprouts and no chance of holding the most basic conversation.

I usually skip these things anyway.

Having said that, the other job will be having a night out, so I'll probably going to that instead.
( Muns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:50, Reply)

It's probably bring a bottle this year

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:52, Reply)

As I'm not going
I'll contribute a bottle of thin bleach, safely stored in an old vodka bottle.
( Muns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:00, Reply)

Or some carling

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:01, Reply)

What I was suggesting was nasty.
That's just pure evil.
( Muns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:05, Reply)

oh yer
Alt: the 17th and 18th. £400 a head murder mystery thing at a country hotel.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:49, Reply)

Wow putting a price on it makes it sound much fewer shit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:51, Reply)

If you're going to decapitate people for £400.00 each, use a samurai sword to help speed things along.

( Muns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:51, Reply)

If you do it to known drugs dealers then the police are alright with it anyway.
FACT.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:57, Reply)

You get beheaded for copyright infringement now?
seems harsh
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:58, Reply)

Don't ruin my callback.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:59, Reply)

If you do it to known coffee dealers then the police are alright with it anyway.
PACT.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:00, Reply)

Paying for your own party fail.
We never have to spend a penny at ours.
Champers all night baby
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:52, Reply)

nah m8
Staff ent paying.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:57, Reply)

Oh, so you were just bragging, as usual.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:59, Reply)

enjoy your meal at a manchester wetherspoon's

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:00, Reply)

Australasia dear, do keep up..

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:06, Reply)

that actually sounds worse

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:11, Reply)

equally ghastly

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:34, Reply)

Gayers have strong bladders

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:00, Reply)

the thing about murder mystery dinners
is that they're absolutely fucking awful

you're basically paying to have dinner with out of work actors ... you might as well just strike up a conversation with a waiter at any west London restaurant
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:56, Reply)

Next Thursday.
Entertainingly, the new boy that's been employed is a complete prick - one of those thuggish middle-management "Actually I did a year of law in night school, so I THINK I know what I'm talking about, mate".

I'm hoping he's going to get pissed and punch me.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:56, Reply)

Me too.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:58, Reply)

And me.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:59, Reply)

Count me in.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:59, Reply)

Prick.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:59, Reply)

Oh man I hope he doesnt knock you sparko

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:01, Reply)

I do.
He seems unstable enough to give it a crack. It would be well lol
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:05, Reply)

Just suggest that you have on occasion scuttled his missus up the botbot

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 14:27, Reply)

We're having a lunchtime meal but I've not responded.
I might have to invent a delivery that necessitates my working from home.

I'll go to our project meal though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 13:58, Reply)