Morning children (stop drooling baggy)
Anyone got anything exciting* planned for today?

Alt: what have you tried recently that was better/worse than you expected?

Altalt: I have decided that I need to make peppermint creams, which I haven't done since I was a kid. What other retro things should come back?

* less dull than you normally are
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 7:38, 108 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I am going clay pigeon shooting.
I recently watched paint dry and it was exactly what I expected.

If I were to make a sweet it would be something with condensed milk.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 7:46, Reply)

Like fudge?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:04, Reply)

+ packing

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:10, Reply)

you got there

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:18, Reply)

It was a simple set up and I couldnt resist

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:19, Reply)

We used to make a lovely fudge with condensed milk when I was at school
In hindsight I think the recipe was 2lbs of sugar and a couple of cans of milk (whatever carnation is, evaporated or condensed, it was the other one) and some full fat milk. A pan of diabetes basically.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:33, Reply)

that sounds like tablet

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:37, Reply)

yep it tasted like it too
i think to make really good fudge you need a sugar kettle thing, but i've never known what one does
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:41, Reply)

Morning all
Another busy day looms ahead.

Alt: chilli in Yorkshire puddings, I thought it worked well

Alt2: Children being seen and not heard
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:13, Reply)

alright
Yet more study for professional exams. Prolly buy some records later.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:15, Reply)

I am working from home today
This may well be less successful than normal as our office servers (into which I VPN to work at home) got severely buggered by a trojan program on Thursday evening and haven't been fully restored yet. If I have any difficulty I may spend the day drinking and masturbating. No change there.
Alt: Gardening (cue 'uphill' comments). I find it quite therapeutic. I'll be growing herbs, peppers and chillis - might even try tomatoes as well.
Altalt: Spangles
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:35, Reply)

peppers, tomatoes, herbs, chillies

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:36, Reply)

^We have a new record^!!
I was wondering who'd get the initials - well done you!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:43, Reply)

captain placid is a pthc enthusiast

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:47, Reply)

i've never heard anyone except dozer use those initials
i assumed he'd made it up
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)

Dozer has a little too much familiarity with the more 'specialist' forms of pornography
Or so I'm told.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:11, Reply)

I thought I'd sit here at this desk all day sharing my time between doing what I am paid to do and typing nonsense into the internet.
Alt: I've tried not being a prick. It didn't really work out for me.
Altalt: This is a silly question.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:37, Reply)

it was designed for you, you 70's throwback

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:42, Reply)

I knew you cared about me really.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:43, Reply)

Altalt: consequence free 70s noncing

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:37, Reply)

edgy as ever, bravo!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:38, Reply)

I think Bonzo already alluded to that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:38, Reply)

Children should be seen, touched and then never heard from again

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:42, Reply)

I certainly did
and in a much classier way
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)

Nope
alt: I was recently disappointed by a Manhattan cocktail, firstly because it wasn't what I had ordered and secondly because other than the cherry it tasted nasty.

altalt: open fires
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:43, Reply)

years ago, i went out with a guy whose little tradition was to order the house cocktail in whichever bar/hotel he was in
i thought it was quite a nice thing to do, but sometimes it produced some properly nasty drinks
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:44, Reply)

I can imagine
the house speciality tends to be wacky.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:57, Reply)

my boss likes an old fashioned
it always looks lovely, with the burnt orange peel, but i can't bear anything with whisky in it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:58, Reply)

:'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:04, Reply)

yes, including you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:05, Reply)

alalt: Global Hypercolour. Oh, yeah.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:49, Reply)

i remember getting one of those as a kid
the cleaner panicked when she ironed it and it changed colour. as i was only a kid, it didn't matter to me, but - who thought it was a good idea to make clothing for grown men that changes colour where they get hot and sweaty? armpit alert.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:57, Reply)

It was proper rubbish.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:59, Reply)

like shell suits
did you have a shell suit?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:01, Reply)

FUCK OFF!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:02, Reply)

hahaha you so did
townie
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:04, Reply)

'Eclipse' jeans and 'Naf Co 54' jacket

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:02, Reply)

alt alt: A nice pair of Farahs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:53, Reply)

I've got a pair of Farahs somewhere in the wardrobe

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:54, Reply)

I just had a look on t'internet
and they do loads of hipster stuff now.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)

I got mine before it was cool

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:00, Reply)

here you go
that shoulderless sweater will look lovely on you:

www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Hipster
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:00, Reply)

alt alt bongo mags with birds with hairy muffs

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)

altalt: 80s colouring-in books with packs of crayons stuck to the front are the new hipster craze, you heard it here first people

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:58, Reply)

it was all about stickers and scented rubbers, from what i remember of the 80's
i never did get a sticker album, but when i finally got a set of biscuit shaped rubbers that actually smelled like biscuits, i knew santa was real.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 8:59, Reply)

Pannini (?) Mexico '86 sticker album

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:00, Reply)

my brother had these
it was so irritating, you'd get so close to completing the album, but there'd be one or two you NEVER EVER got.

meanwhile the pile of duplicate glenn cockerills grew ever higher.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:05, Reply)

there are blokes still trading the Spain 82 stickers online.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:07, Reply)

You could send off for the ones you didn't have.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)

great
now build a time machine and tell my brother that in 1986, 1987 and 1988. he'll be really grateful.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:12, Reply)

He'll need a postal order for 50 pence

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:12, Reply)

and kids these days bitch about the fact that they can't complete their Simpsons minifig set
at £4 a pop or whatever it is, compare that to 25p for 10 stickers
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:15, Reply)

#kidsthesedays

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:15, Reply)

my friend's 2 year old has a wooden sushi set
that's right. wooden sushi. so she can serve her dolls sushi with chopsticks.

#kidsthesedays indeed.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:20, Reply)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:24, Reply)

quite

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

I nicked an Ossie Ardiles sticker out of Mrs Spence's desk drawer after she had confiscated it from someone

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:16, Reply)

#sheknows

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:18, Reply)

This is what happened to her after she tried the old confiscating Panini stickers trick at her next school:
www.independent.co.uk/news/record-damages-for-teacher-injured-by-child-1342246.html
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:24, Reply)

Sexy 20 Year Old Teacher Tries To Stop Her 18 Year Old Pupil Leaving Detention, You Wont Believe What Happen's Next!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:27, Reply)

You know the McDonalds monopoloy ones
They intentionally geographical distribute them so the odds of getting the high-end set are really low unless you travel all over the country.

I wonder if there's any Swaps website, that has loads of potential.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 10:15, Reply)

my boss has told me today is likely to be a "slow day"
Which means, stay out of sight, I'll radio you if there's any actual work. So my exciting plans are to buy a paper and go find a warm riser cupboard.

Alt: I tried microwaving fish instead of spending tune steaming it properly. It was actually very good.

Altalt: Dinosaur shaped food. Specifically turkey dinosaurs.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:03, Reply)

with alphabites

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:12, Reply)

exactly.
In fact, I just want food shaped like stuff. Billy bear ham, those smiley face potato things, Thomas the yank engine spaghetti,
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:29, Reply)

It's all about mashtags nowadays, grandad

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:30, Reply)

the fuck is that?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:31, Reply)

I think the name is pretty self-explanatory

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:38, Reply)

I don't

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:39, Reply)

Oh Jesus, how grim does this look?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:41, Reply)

what the actual fuck is that?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:45, Reply)

"Tea"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:46, Reply)

That's what passes for food in some households

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:57, Reply)

some Scottish
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 10:03, Reply)

I, I just don't know.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:45, Reply)

Beige is a food group, apparently.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:46, Reply)

Oh man, I'm hungry now :(

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 11:06, Reply)

This has made me feel much better !
www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2975812/So-average-penis-length-Study-reveals-normal-manhood-5-2-inches-erect.html?ito=social-facebook
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:12, Reply)

PHEW!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:15, Reply)

you guys don't get to add them together, you know

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:19, Reply)

PAH! CRAAAAAANNNNLEEEEEEY!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:21, Reply)

are you looking to add the extra 0.2 on the end?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:23, Reply)

cranley, do you remember me

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:27, Reply)

Play your cards right, love, and me'n'Stunned _could_ make it a accumulated metric.
Aslong as we set out some groundrules about high-fiving and eye contact.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:30, Reply)

I've got the tiny one, so i'll take the back door. I feel that'll be best for all concerned.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:31, Reply)

this is the time you both regret being jewish
that could have bought you an extra inch
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

This raises questions over the size of Meatsnakes foreskin.

( Muns, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)

how do you think he got the name?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:38, Reply)

To add an extra inch it must be like a windsock.

( Muns, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:39, Reply)

Yeah', but I think I'd rather have the ability to not piss all over the seat.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 10:11, Reply)

Not pissing on the seat is easy
Lift it
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 10:30, Reply)

Woman's job, surely?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 10:35, Reply)

No, their job is to complain that the seat is left up

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 10:36, Reply)

'docking'

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

Lol at them having to include a measurement for it stretched.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:26, Reply)

oh thank goodness.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:30, Reply)

Post op transexuals and short arses driving the average down.

( Muns, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)

And me
Don't forget me
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:34, Reply)

in both categories?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:35, Reply)

Yep
I am truly the worst of both worlds
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:36, Reply)