It's St Patricks Day
What have you all got planned to celebrate your legitimate Irish heritage?

Nintendo are releasing some of their old games on mobile platforms cool eh?

What's your million pound invention? Mines a tiny robot arm with a camera and tweezers and cotton buds and shit to clean your ears. Controlled by your smart phone.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:26, 103 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

no Irish heritage is legitimate

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:28, Reply)

Bit racist.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:32, Reply)

serves them right for killing jesus

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:36, Reply)

They did no such thing, they just put Mary in a laundry.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:38, Reply)

they must have been rubbish laundries
all the Irish I've ever met have been filthy
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:12, Reply)

If you're Irish and living on UK soil there are only two ways to celebrate.
1) Build a road.
2) Firebomb a police station.

Alt: Not really.
Altalt: Not telling you sunshine!
( Muns, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:32, Reply)

I have some cans of Guinness in the fridge, which I may drink some of out of a Guinness branded glass.
And I have selected the icon on here that looks like a shamrock.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:33, Reply)

Need more potatoes.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:37, Reply)

They were all wiped out by potato blight :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:39, Reply)

StPDC?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:57, Reply)

Canteen in work seems to be playing hits from
Now That's What I Call Sectarian 1.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:36, Reply)

I really rather like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:39, Reply)

youtu.be/jTJQkhWZekI
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:41, Reply)

Is it? Bloody Nora.
Our mortgage got approved today. That officially means I'll be joining the snooty "ew renters are povvos" crowd.

BOOYAH
( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:37, Reply)

I now have foundations up to damp course level
\o/
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:40, Reply)

THIS IS A THING WORTHY OF RUBBING IN LESSER PEOPLES' FACES

( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:41, Reply)

Yeah baby!
Hopefully I'll have some proper wall up today and ready to start putting in the steels at the end of the week
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:43, Reply)

Something about YM's dampcourse

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:56, Reply)

once a renter always a renter

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:42, Reply)

I'm going to be one of those nouveaux mortgaged lot you established homeowners hate so much.
IN YOUR FACE LANDLORDS
( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:51, Reply)

Make sure you reference 'paying the mortgage' a lot so people know you are equal to or better than them.
Happy times ahead, ah memories, I remember when I had a mortgage.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:54, Reply)

Haha yeah, something about rent being dead money
INVESTMENT
( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:57, Reply)

povvo bedsits hahaha

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)

rofl half flats

( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:09, Reply)

It's okay I have a whole house of my own! That I own in (full)!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:24, Reply)

ewww people with mortgages are povvos

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)

One type of house is better than another type of house!

( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:02, Reply)

my lifestyle choices make me better than you in every measurable respect

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:09, Reply)

Let's compare post codes to decide who's the better person!

( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:12, Reply)

cool!
then we can count bathrooms and see whose car has the most pointless gadgets!
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:17, Reply)

Only one bathroom
I'm little better than an animal :(
( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:18, Reply)

I have an outdoor toilet
I don't know if this means I am better or worse than other people
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:20, Reply)

that's a wheely bin, you dirty cunt

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:22, Reply)

ah no wonder the bin men always look at me with contempt

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:23, Reply)

tragic times
does your car make a sad little bleep and fold back its mirrors when you walk away like some sort of abandoned puppy?
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:20, Reply)

It does not. It makes no noise whatever and doesn't look as though it cares if I live or die.
It's more like a cat, I suppose.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:09, Reply)

cats are bent

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:24, Reply)

Mine does

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:22, Reply)

I really don't get the whole american "I'm 5th generation O'rish" thing.
Yup, just read that myself, it'll be 'new titles' though, so don't expect to see any classics. My money would be on the equivolent to Mario Teaches Typing - nintendo characters will be shoe-horned in. You won't see a new Zelda or Mario. They'll be tons of paid DLC too I bet =(

I'm currently spec'ing up an App at the moment to revolutionise the Dental industry, looking forward to that. I've even got clever shizniss like iBeacons so you know you're in the room, and give you the ability to set some lighting/control the TV on the ceiling/bluetooth over to their speakers. All kinds of shizniss.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:37, Reply)

It's stupid.
By their mode of thinking, I'm third generation Scottish. One thing I promise you I won't be doing is going to my grandfather's manor in bloody Govan and claiming a connection.

Not unless I fancy a fucking good stabbing, anyway.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:41, Reply)

One of our customer sites is in Govan
*shudders*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:43, Reply)

One of my favourite dining table anecdotes is the story of how Rab Nesbitt was filmed on my Grandad's estate.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:45, Reply)

I once had a pint with Gregor Fishers son.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:12, Reply)

'revolutionise the Dental industry'
Good luck with that - Luddite stick-in-the-muds for the most part in my experience.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:43, Reply)

They just need larger breasts

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:44, Reply)

But wouldnt that mean they would get in the way
so that they would smoosh up and press against you while they were looking in your mouth?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:13, Reply)

TGDGI

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:14, Reply)

But it would make them
less efficient at their job... You might as well say that they should rub your crotch while doing fillings, as if that would help take your mind off it.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:17, Reply)

NOW TGGI

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:21, Reply)

'they should rub your crotch while doing fillings'
I'm not sure my dentist would go for this, I mean, he's quite open-minded and all but this might be going a bit far.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:26, Reply)

My dentist is a really gorgeous looking Asian girl

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)

Ah yes the old "asian" ones
beneath that coy Thai exterior throbs a cock of pure gristle
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:14, Reply)

now we're getting SEXY

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:23, Reply)

Wouldn't you do anything to disassociate yourself with being American?
It's like they're trying to say that 'yes, I am American, but deep down, I'm better than this.'
( Muns, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:45, Reply)

I'm better than an american. I'm Irish!
lol stupid americans.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:49, Reply)

I tend to know if I am in the room.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:50, Reply)

I have my friends tell me through my helmet.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:51, Reply)

less if you're gaymer talk

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:52, Reply)

Yah' yah', technophobe.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:37, Reply)

Its basically due to them being a young country and having stolen the land from the natives
So in order to have any sort of heritage they cling on to any level of immigration blood they can, so they can feel like they have a backstory.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)

They have one, it's just not one worth telling

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)

says the pork-munching "Jew"

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:00, Reply)

NO GAY TALK

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:11, Reply)

Better than the pork, I had that lobster on saturday - was a really nice day.
Me, Ma' and Ma's sister.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:37, Reply)

I had a 2lb lobster, it was massive, I ate it all but left my chips.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:37, Reply)

You might like new TV show "The Dig"
it's about Jerusalem and murder and the Arc of the Covenant. It's stupid shit but I enjoyed it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:02, Reply)

Oh wow, that looks wicked, thanks mate

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)

some kind of wanking device

( $$ ✅, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:38, Reply)

I'd have to hand it to you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:44, Reply)

Sian Lloyd? eew

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)

This thread is shit.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:06, Reply)

it's worse than a psychochomp thread

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:10, Reply)

Woah steady on now lets not go that far

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:12, Reply)

it is, because you're in it!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:16, Reply)

that's what SHE said
or she would have said if she wasn't muffled by your scabby little nerdcock
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:18, Reply)

I don't tend to 'celebrate' St Patricks day.
As someone who knows exactly how drunk they want to get, and exactly how they intend to achieve this, the amount of amateurs is frustrating.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:12, Reply)

not doing anything
no
sellotape with a dye that forms when you break it so you always find the end.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:14, Reply)

^^That's clever^^
*Runs to patent office*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:16, Reply)

apart from
the dye getting onto the item you are taping
the fact that after a few turns round the dye would cover most of the tape stopping it being effective
people getting dye on their fingers
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:19, Reply)

Actually not as silly as it sounds
If the dye was in the bulk (not the surfaces) of the adhesive carrier and was oxygen-activated, it would work. Bloody expensive to produce though
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:24, Reply)

or you could just use a tape dispenser

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:17, Reply)

Or fold the end in on itself.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:19, Reply)

it's almost as if this is am overcomplicated and impractical solution to a problem that's already been solved
I'M OUT
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:21, Reply)

So is Jay, it's not really helped him though.

( Muns, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:23, Reply)

I was going to go to the pub, but I can't be arsed.
So I'm going to support the Irish drinks industry Diageo by buying some Guinness and Jameson's and sitting at home watching fillums and eating popcorn or summat.

Altalt: a planner that lets you define a list of events and a list of activities to be done different lengths of time in advance so you can enter an event, tick all the associated boxes and get a customised set of reminders. For example: your other half is coming round for a romantic dinner, so you'd tick Go Shopping (1 day before), Do Laundry (2 days before), Tidy Flat (12 hours before) and Buy Flowers (3 hours before). Job interview coming up? Tick Dry Cleaners for Suit (week before), Barber's (week before ti give time to book an appointment), etc. etc.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:24, Reply)

You could do that in a spreadsheet.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:26, Reply)

No doubt.
I'm crap at spreadsheets. I want a smartphone app that'll do it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:26, Reply)

Or with google keep. Or with google calendar.
Or various other non-google alternatives that I don't know the names of.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:27, Reply)

I've become a little adverse to Google ever since it's tried to steal and sell my data at every possible opportunity.
The 'you have to have a Google+ account to rate products on the Play Store' and 'you have to have a Google+ account to comment on YouTube' attitude broke the camel's back as far as I'm concerned. But I'm interested in non-Google alternatives.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:30, Reply)

I never had any interest in doing either of those things so the whole google+ account wasn't a problem.
The amount of data google keep on people is scary, but they're one of the few that seem to be able not to get it stolen, or sell it in a way that makes you identifiable.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:34, Reply)

You may well be right,
but there's something about them trying to get their hands on that sheer volume of personal data that makes them intrinsically untrustworthy in my book.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:35, Reply)

I'm sure they have no interest in the minutiae of your dull life

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)

I try to live as dull a life as possible in order to render myself less marketable.
Doesn't seem to be making much of a difference though.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:42, Reply)

^gets targeted ads for warhammer

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:46, Reply)

war ban
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:54, Reply)

That's because if they lose it they can no longer exclusively "monetise" it by selling it to advertisers

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:36, Reply)

I'm just looking at that 'we want plates' on twitter.
It seems wanky pubs are moving away from slates and baskets of chips and onto minature picnic benches. Which seems even shitter.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:30, Reply)

Twitter is for poofs and blobbing birds
HTH
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:33, Reply)

^^Placid's Twitter hating comment

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:34, Reply)

*golf clap*
Well done on being the first today - even though I've been active (fnaaar)
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)

I hate slates and boards. I dunno who thinks they're good.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:36, Reply)

Roofers?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)

They do link this partidge clip on their twitter.
www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sFN_Y2pgKrk
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Mar 2015, 12:41, Reply)