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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Come on then, what are we all doing this Bank Hol?
I think I may fancy a night out tomorrow.
Got a potential suitor coming for sleepover on Sunday and that's about it.

any particular food plans?
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:29, 138 replies, latest was 5 years ago)
That reminds me:
must buy Easter eggs.

Food plans: lunch with the in-laws on Sunday. Not quite sure what to expect on the menu as of right now.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:30, Reply)
I'm going to a newish bar with some friends on Friday.
Nothing else planned.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:31, Reply)
seeing a friend tomorrow (we're watching "appropriate behaviour", which looks amusing, then late lunch)
cheshire on sat, my brothers are up there with kids etc. amongst other things i have bought the kids these massive disc balloon frisbee bastard offspring things, and a big container of helium. this will end well.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:33, Reply)
unless it rains

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:36, Reply)
Hello Jaysomz
Tonight - Lasagna
Friday - Sausages for breakfast, Netflix all day, Sea Bass for dinner
Saturday - Go to The North, eat pizza (Hahaha pizza!)
Sunday - Easter gargantuan meal (I'm hoping for a duck starter then pork or lamb and beer), tour of The North
Monday - Come home, kebab
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:36, Reply)
Oooo a tour of teh north
are you coming to see me.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:40, Reply)
I farking wish m8te, can't remember what the place we're going is called but I'm sure it won't be as nice as seeing you

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:44, Reply)
it's called yorkshire

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:45, Reply)
hahahaha yeah 'yorkshire' like that's a real place

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:48, Reply)
Its a pudding innit ?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:50, Reply)
I don't know m8te, there's NO FARKING MENU

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:50, Reply)
Dont trust these northerns with their no menu malarky
It will probs be some sort of boiled cow stomach
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:52, Reply)
I'm a little concerned as I don't want a plate of tripe and eels for my Easter meal on that most holy of days

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:56, Reply)
Hardly likely.
We don't let just *anyone* have delicacies like that...
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:14, Reply)
PHEW! Alright Twangers?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:21, Reply)
Yeah, it's all good today.
Let me know when you're driving through, I'll do the "Royal wave" thing out of the parlour window...
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:22, Reply)
It must be for you to come forth from the shadows where you usually lurk.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:23, Reply)
It's safer in the darkness.
The clash of intellects on here burns the soul, I can only stand and watch in awe.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:27, Reply)
Shame you aren't an expert in everything ever like everyone else. At least you know your place.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:28, Reply)
*sobs*

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:29, Reply)
Or you could just bluster and bullshit about everything, just sayin'

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:30, Reply)
It's all about that bass

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:40, Reply)
No treble?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:46, Reply)

www.staffoflifeinn.org.uk/
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:44, Reply)
NO FARKING MENU

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:46, Reply)
Thats not Yorkshire

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:17, Reply)
Can I come too? :)

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:44, Reply)
Please do, you enchanting young man.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:47, Reply)
Don't bring your boyfriend though as there is no disabled access

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:50, Reply)
s'ok, I dumped him anyway
CHINNY RECKON!
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:01, Reply)
Dumped him straight out of his wheelchair and into the west side of the Rochdale Canal

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:10, Reply)
Jason smiled as he watched the last bubble slowly rise to the surface and dissipate.
The spasticated flailing hadn't lasted for long, not nearly as long as he had imagined, and he had imagined it, over and over. It was somehow more peaceful and, in many ways, a happier event than he ever thought possible, watching him slowly sink to the murky depths.

It felt familiar.

....the child.

He remembered the child. Jason had killed a child.

And raped him.

Jason looked at the empty wheelchair.

If you want Jason to wheel himself home go to page 26

For Jason to commit suicide go to page 89

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:20, Reply)
:(

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:26, Reply)
turns to page 26

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 15:52, Reply)
If you liked choose your own adventures and have an iPad or some other apple piece of shit.
This is worth getting.
itunes.apple.com/gb/app/80-days/id892812659?mt=8
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 16:03, Reply)
Might get wankered

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:38, Reply)
I get floating days and haven't booked any off yet.
Might ask the boss for monday off.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 14:48, Reply)
Promised the Doris I'd take her out this evening.
The last proper meal I had was a cooked breakfast on Sunday morning.

The thought of some fancy-dan rich food makes me want to heave.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 16:25, Reply)
just eat the bread sticks.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 16:37, Reply)
That would work, only I've yet to be told where I'm taking her yet.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 16:45, Reply)
If you're looking for breadsticks try the 1970s

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:35, Reply)
take her to that lush mexican near the flat
and ask for plain nachos
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:09, Reply)
Sadly, lurgy has got the better of us
So dinner and theater have been cancelled. Having been looked after all week, I shall do some cooking and take on the role of 'head of looking after'.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:49, Reply)
so, a takeaway from the mexican??

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:02, Reply)
Doubt it.
They don't deliver.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:15, Reply)
it has 'Girls Just Want To Have Fun' on it which is, to my mind, possibly the best song of the 1980s. It's become utterly fucking timeless, I don't know a single person that doesn't like that song and if I did I wouldn't fucking trust them.
Not my words Carol, but those of Aidan Moffat describing his 13 favourite albums.

thequietus.com/articles/17564-aidan-moffat-favourite-albums-interview?page=3
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:16, Reply)
aidan moffat is a cool guy

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:54, Reply)
He's a bit sweary. In the national press, too. Shame on him.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:57, Reply)
cauldron lincolnshire sausages, yellow pepper, red onion and garlic, fried up then add chopped tomatoes and pasta, then chuck the whole rancid lot in the bin and get a takeaway

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:47, Reply)
a bottle of rioja, a tub of sundried tomatoes and a load of blue goats cheese

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:55, Reply)
^ dinner for one.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:57, Reply)
it's a snack innit

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:57, Reply)
Just have crisps like a proper man

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:59, Reply)
kettle chips salt and balsamic vinegar
best. crisps. in. the. world.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:01, Reply)
wotsits or roast beef monster munch you pompous nitwit.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:01, Reply)
roast beef monster munch are nice with pesto topped houmous

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:02, Reply)
Why do you have to ruin everything?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:04, Reply)
relax
you don't have to use a fork.

although it is more hygienic.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:05, Reply)
You don't have to 'pimp' everything. A lot of thought, care and attention has gone into these snacks and frankly it's arrogant that you think you can improve them with all that foreign muck.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:06, Reply)
LOL

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:06, Reply)
discos

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:02, Reply)
i see your discos
and i raise you hula hoops or salt and vinegar wheat crunchies
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:03, Reply)
^^^
especially for that last flavour filled mouthful
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:07, Reply)
Oh, like a blowjob?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:08, Reply)
of course.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:09, Reply)
Disgusting

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:09, Reply)
HEAR THAT SWIPE, HE HATES BLOWJOBS

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:35, Reply)
something about forks or psychochomp or something

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:39, Reply)
Not doing anything with "Mrs Dozer" this weekend?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 17:58, Reply)
yep
curling her into a semi fist and slowly wanking his lonely little spaff trumpet with her
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:01, Reply)
yes, we are visiting family, thanks 4 asking m8

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:15, Reply)
Are they still living in

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:21, Reply)
I'm such a fantasist!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:25, Reply)
Not your family, though

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:24, Reply)
well no, nearest sibling is in Glasgow and both parents are dead. What's your point?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:25, Reply)
As above

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:31, Reply)
Pissed again, eh?
Dignity is your constant companion.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:32, Reply)
And remains so
I'm in York on Sunday - gaz if you and "Mrs Dozer" aren't "visiting family".
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:42, Reply)
not back until Sunday teatime, soz

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:49, Reply)
I'm driving and it'll be late Sunday afternoon when we get there

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:54, Reply)
maybe then, ill Gareth you xx

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:03, Reply)
oh, yeah, tools down fuck you was about 3 hours ago.
I forgot.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:02, Reply)
Bit of shopping tomorrow
Mahoosive lamb dinner Saturday night, game fair on Sunday. No plans after that.
There will be no alcohol due to a course of metronidazole which finishes on Monday
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:05, Reply)
^ pregnant ^

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:06, Reply)
mouth infection from sucking cocks

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:37, Reply)
happy Good Friday all.
I am skinny dipping and having a lager. the hawk wind posing pouch is looking a bit saggy.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:28, Reply)
but I think I can carry it off!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:34, Reply)
Sexy as fuck.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:36, Reply)
That's not skinny dipping

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:37, Reply)
Bless, you're giving your little seahorse a wash.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:37, Reply)
drowned in bleachy head

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:38, Reply)
It matches what's inside then

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:38, Reply)
the. only thing I keep inside is my love for you.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:44, Reply)
Haha!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:44, Reply)
you sucking up to the Northern Gentry this weekend?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:47, Reply)
Yeah. I'm looking forward to it actually, so there.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:51, Reply)
if they're like swipe then no doubt.
enjoy! just askin'
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:56, Reply)
do they do a lager top in bongo bongo land

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:47, Reply)
um bongo top.
first Easter not in the pub game?
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:49, Reply)
Lilt makes an excellent shandy.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:55, Reply)
it's the totally tropical taste wot are luv, kingeee.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:57, Reply)
second, still a wild excitement.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:23, Reply)
brilliant.
Love to you both.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:27, Reply)
I might post "sexy as fuck" on the internet.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:36, Reply)
^connorsir

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 18:37, Reply)
It's the big leadership debate this evening.
Fingers crossed it'll be an action packed laugh a minute.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:05, Reply)
Is it on the radio like last time?
I find all the bright lights on the telly get me too overexcited.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:10, Reply)
You've only got a black and white portable, stop moaning.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:14, Reply)
No, it's all of them
Like all the cows stuffed into an auction ring.

It won't be remotely meaningful.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:15, Reply)
Yeah, it'll probably help steer towards a hung parliament by slightly increasing the smaller parties' share of the vote

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:20, Reply)
I'll be voting SNP

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:23, Reply)
the lack of majority etc zzzzz

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:29, Reply)
Your man Nige should probably do alright for himself

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:24, Reply)
of course it won't, you spanner.
the election will be wot decides it.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:28, Reply)
HEADSET DOWN! FUCK YOU!
Have a good one bbz xx
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 19:42, Reply)

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