Well, I think we can all see where that thread is going. We've seen the hilarious banter before and it's boring so let's have a farking classic LUNCH THREAD
Alternative 1: Turkish revenge y/n

Alternative B: Weekend plans

Cheers!

Lots of love,

Meatfrog xx
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:18, 176 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

A chicken and chorizo rice pot
a1. Dunno, what do they do? chop hands off? Rub chilli in the eyes? Sweat profusely into your kebab?

a2. weed, wine fillum and sex
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:22, Reply)

on a second date?
you terrible hussy
(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:22, Reply)

Gotta take the car for a test drive innit.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:26, Reply)

I bet it's got a spare tyre on the back with a picture of two rhinos fucking

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:27, Reply)

It looks fine from what Ive seen.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:28, Reply)

well I hope you have some jolly romps and don't catch any diseases

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:29, Reply)

Im a good boy, don't worry :)

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:32, Reply)

Curry for dinner tonight then?
Also Turkish Revenge
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:23, Reply)

Ive not made any lasting plans for food this eve. Might get a kebab after ive picked up my green

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:26, Reply)

Have you learned how to roll a joint yet, or does your disabled ex still have to come round to do it for you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:28, Reply)

He does. I go and pick it up though sometimes
I just cant roll. I even have one of them hand machine things. Cant get the rolling bit right.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:35, Reply)

amateur gay, amateur stoner

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:35, Reply)

I'd smoke you under the table M8!!
and no, not for a blowie
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:45, Reply)

you probably would, I caned it so much when I was younger that it gives me THE FEAR these days
I only smoke weed when I'm coming down.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:50, Reply)

your disabled ex rolls exceptionally well...
....downhill!!!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:42, Reply)

Weeeeeeee!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:47, Reply)

YES!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:48, Reply)

smokin'

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:50, Reply)

depends what im getting stabbed with really.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:27, Reply)

a frozen poo

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:29, Reply)

Not into that, soz
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:35, Reply)

I'm going to buy some drugs, smoke some drugs and probably listen to some records to all questions
Cheers
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:23, Reply)

Okay that sounds nice

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:25, Reply)

I've done nearly no work today, Frog, do you think it matters?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:25, Reply)

Nah, I've done no work for years and I still have a job

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:26, Reply)

new telly, new shirts, few pints
Bit of studying.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:26, Reply)

no renovations?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:27, Reply)

mortgage cash advance meeting next week
I am paying people to do the extensive manual Labour to improve the value of my residential property.

Since ya ax.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:29, Reply)

buy the biggest telly you can and don't take room size into account so people know you're doing incredibly well for yourself

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:29, Reply)

i know this already m8, i am working class you know

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:30, Reply)

if you go for a make you've never heard of you can get a massive telly for a fraction of the cost. maybe try 'brighthouse'?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:40, Reply)

i was thinking Blaupunkt

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:41, Reply)

finlux m8, trust me

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:42, Reply)

what make should i get for the bedroom telly?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:43, Reply)

one with a massive magnifying glass to go in front of the screen
so you can stand behind it when needed

i.ytimg.com/vi/OQZQNqX9TJM/hqdefault.jpg
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:45, Reply)

wut

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:51, Reply)

JVC Videosphere

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:52, Reply)

I might be working class but I'm not common enough to have a telly in the bedroom.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:54, Reply)

it's not a telly it's a videosphere durrrr

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:55, Reply)

Bush.
So you can make lolarious jokes about having bush in your room every night.
( Muns, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:59, Reply)

lol

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:01, Reply)

It'll have the added benefit of masking the tragic truth of the matter.

( Muns, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:04, Reply)

I bet they're customised polyester darts shirts

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:30, Reply)

of course they are

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:31, Reply)

Sexy as fuck.

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:31, Reply)

yer i kno mate, i was leered at this lunchtime

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:32, Reply)

Lunch will be a home made pork and chorizo burger/kebab type thing on a ciabatta with salad
Alt 1: Turkish revenge? Typical underhand nasty forrin behaviour.
Alt 2: Some shopping for chilli plants* and a couple of those pop-up greenhouses tomorrow. Sunday I'm visiting my daughters in Derby, seeing the youngest's new gaff and probably working on her motorbike in return for Sunday lunch.

*I've found a place that does really good ones for a couple of quid each, I intend to get some of the scorpion types, some bhut jolokia and a few of the more decorative ones.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:33, Reply)

perhaps test her calipers

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:36, Reply)

purchase the hottest chillis

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:39, Reply)

preteen hardcore

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:44, Reply)

n
fighting and fucking my way through the weekend
( $$ ✅, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:44, Reply)

Standard.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:44, Reply)

typical scouser

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:53, Reply)

Lunch was scrambled egg, spinach, ham and cbeese
It was unexpectedly pleasant. This weekend I am working overtime (for a change) and hopefully drinking red wine and eating Indian food.

The extension on the sportsgaff is coming along nicely. Bifold doors are in and roof is on now. Plumber informed me that I could also have underfloor heating in the utility room and bog for free as he has the stuff to do it. This means moneys off as I dont have to buy radiators for there now. Woo!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:46, Reply)

you want to give dozer his number.
He's getting fleeced for a tile polish.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:51, Reply)

nah m8, you have no idea

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:52, Reply)

i'm thinking ham and cbeese omlette tonight
tekkers on the underfloor, warm hooves in the cowshed woop woop
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:58, Reply)

I'm not so sure, we could do with an expert on this sort of thing, like Rory, to point out where he's going wrong.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:02, Reply)

lol
I'm sure he'd have something to say on it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:03, Reply)

"mmmmnnnngggh" is my guess.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:04, Reply)

I KNEW he'd say that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:07, Reply)

i'm a central heating expert, and while i wouldn't recommend retrospective fitting of underfloor heating in an existing property, an extension is perfect opportunity to use it and crow is doing the right thing HTH

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:05, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:08, Reply)

see my blog for an interesting paper on the merits of warm air units but the irony of them being so difficult to fit unless a home is built with the required vent systems in mind!!!
HEATSNAKE BLOG
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:12, Reply)

HEATSNAKElols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:14, Reply)

Not much point in being an expert if you're not going to use it to be dismissive of everyone else.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:12, Reply)

shut up tangles

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:14, Reply)

Nah
Just been loading up the boat with dive gear, getting ready to enjoy the long weekend. Will come back for more when I've time to kill.
Hope I've annoyed the shit out of you - enjoy work!

xxx
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:19, Reply)

nice

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:23, Reply)

all you need to be an expert is access to wikipedia

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:21, Reply)

Rather pleased about that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:02, Reply)

warm hooves
smelly garage


or sutin
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:24, Reply)

light lunch
as going out for tasty tasty tasty greek tonight.

alt b: you know this. sat: speed boat, theatre, dinner. sun: yoga.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:46, Reply)

Your Saturday sounds like that of a successful Bullseye contestant.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:49, Reply)

You got that
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN ONE!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:50, Reply)

*keeps away from the blacks*
Or summat.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:51, Reply)

£5 boss?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:52, Reply)

It'll take me two minutes to count this out

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:54, Reply)

i'm going to that cafe for the 'mega breakfast' on sunday so won't be able to make yoga soz

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:54, Reply)

Bit nosey, meatm8.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:56, Reply)

yeah i am, what of it?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 12:56, Reply)

I find it to be an uncomfortable intrusion into my private space,
and would like you to stop.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:02, Reply)

If you are really annoyed by another boarder, you can click the 'Ignore' button under their posts and everything they post will be hidden from you (you can always un-ignore them later if you like)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:07, Reply)

I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:07, Reply)

I'll uncomfortably intrude into your private space if you know what I mean
not that uncomfortable - I have a very thin penis
(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:17, Reply)

That's probably a straightened pube

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:22, Reply)

it's not been straightened very well
:(
(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:27, Reply)

Actually, I've changed my mind
I won't be doing what I previously said. Soz
( $$ ✅, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:01, Reply)

God you ALWAYS do this

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:01, Reply)

No consideration for how this might affect other people's plans

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:03, Reply)

I just had a French toast sandwich with about a gallon of syrup on it.
I think I've ingested diabetes.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:12, Reply)

I think I may be addicted to Golden Syrup
That shit is like crack, yo
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:15, Reply)

Syrup showers
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:28, Reply)

Stop taking the piss

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:52, Reply)

See, this is what I meant when I asked if you were fat.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:15, Reply)

you have
I wanked in your bread
(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:16, Reply)

I Can't Believe Its River!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:16, Reply)

I haven't been able to look at Golden Syrup after my brother made me eat a tablespoon of it
for a bet. Makes me gag thinking about it.
( $$ ✅, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:16, Reply)

off his winkle

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:19, Reply)

natch

( $$ ✅, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:22, Reply)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:22, Reply)

yum

( $$ ✅, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:24, Reply)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:25, Reply)

( $$ ✅, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:28, Reply)

youtu.be/uYnlzpSSevM
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:33, Reply)

TOOLS UP FUCK ME

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:44, Reply)

TOOLS BACK DOWN FUCK YOU

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:58, Reply)

How was it for you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:02, Reply)

mercifully brief

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 15:31, Reply)

I thought I'd picked up salt and vinegar, but actually I picked up cheese and onion.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:47, Reply)

u ok hun? xx

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:48, Reply)

yeah, I'm fine to be honest, it's not really a big deal.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:49, Reply)

Salt and vinegar should still be blue packets

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:48, Reply)

I don't think I've ever cared less.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:48, Reply)

Yet you cared enough to post it on the Internet. I'm calling bullshit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:54, Reply)

I'm getting a bit sick of his lies, who is he trying to impress exactly

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:56, Reply)

That nice 'Michael Kelly' off stars in their eyes by the looks of things

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:00, Reply)

Salt and Vinegar should be in whatever packet the manufacturer decides.
Cheese and Onion should be binned.

And Walkers should bring back sausage and tomato flavour.
( Muns, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:50, Reply)

which brand? it could be either a good or bad thing.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:48, Reply)

bit nosey.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Apr 2015, 13:49, Reply)

Michael Kelly
y/n
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:03, Reply)

Y

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:08, Reply)

Beverley Allit y/n

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:11, Reply)

tonight looks tasty
www.greekaffair.co.uk/menu-1/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:10, Reply)

worst Ministry cover ever

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:11, Reply)

Jesus Cooked My Souvlaki

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:40, Reply)

Nah m8, that was Slowdive

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:53, Reply)

plate of kleftiko would do nicely

( $$ ✅, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:14, Reply)

Looks good, but I think I'll BAIL OUT!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:18, Reply)

that's nice for you while I stay at home and eat a big plate of eggs all alone

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:19, Reply)

:(

( $$ ✅, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:20, Reply)

No it's fine m8 I love eggs

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:20, Reply)

:)

( $$ ✅, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:21, Reply)

how can you be alone when you have two seriously cute birds staying in with you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:25, Reply)

You weren't supposed to know about that
Oh wait, you mean the budgies
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:26, Reply)

SUT!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:27, Reply)

lol soz m8

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:29, Reply)

no problem, suppose I'll save some money now and next time I can get some nicer prostitutes

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:30, Reply)

<s>prostitutes</s> budgies

( Muns, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:48, Reply)

Impossible

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:49, Reply)

he'll only be thinking of you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:31, Reply)

Because I'll be eating dinner and watching telly in bed and they won't be there.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:27, Reply)

He'll be eating budgie eggs?
Nyom.
( Muns, Fri 24 Apr 2015, 14:41, Reply)