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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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it's National Trust National Mills Weekend this weekend
do you all have exciting mill plans? I prefer a watermill to a windmill myself.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:50, 166 replies, latest was 9 years ago)
*watermill fives*
I once spent a VERY drunken afternoon conversing with a carp at a watermill in Welwyn
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:51, Reply)
#pamayres

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:53, Reply)
splendid

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:53, Reply)
One of my most favouritist days ever that
Two of my best mates were getting married there, I was an usher, free booze and food all day and pulled a very fit PE teacher

#livingthedream
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:56, Reply)
Stop carping on about it.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:59, Reply)
You've haddock enough, eh?

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:59, Reply)
Get off your perch.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:02, Reply)
For cod's sake
Turbot out
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:04, Reply)
#livingthebream

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:03, Reply)
DAMN!
Why didn't I think of that?
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:04, Reply)
I'm a dab hand at fish puns

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:05, Reply)
You are certainly getting whiting there

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:07, Reply)
Fit as in "good cardio" or fit as in "sexually attractive"?

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:07, Reply)
Both

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:07, Reply)
As you have yourself admitted that you had been drinking heavily all day, we shall assume that the beer goggles were in effect
and she was in fact a sweaty mass of desperate blubber.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:29, Reply)
No, that was me

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:40, Reply)
So SHE had been drinking heavily all day too?
That explains it then.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:03, Reply)
Heather Mills!

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:52, Reply)
Cheers.
Legless.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:53, Reply)
cheers

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:54, Reply)
Cheers

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:54, Reply)
for god's sake don't mention windmills

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:55, Reply)
*windmills*

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:57, Reply)
I once toured the mills of Great Britain with Michael Elphick.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:56, Reply)
That must have been a Boon

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:56, Reply)
Might go to The Old Mill in Baginton

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:56, Reply)
you fucking hobbit

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:57, Reply)
Explains the hairy feet

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 12:58, Reply)
there is a beautifully restored windmill only a couple of streets away from my house

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:02, Reply)
you should go pick a fight with Oliver Reid

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:04, Reply)
Tim Tilt-on?

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:06, Reply)
<s>wind</s> Bob +s

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:06, Reply)
He really gets right on my nerves

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:09, Reply)
Shush your mouth, In Bed With Medinner was one of the finest post-pub programmes ever.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:09, Reply)
His smug gland is showing

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:10, Reply)
In fact this is quite relevant because I often used to watch it after drinking in the Old Mill in Baginton, when it was my local.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:14, Reply)
I used to drink in a pub called Windmills
Does that count?
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:08, Reply)
is that where you got the number for your bonnie tiler?

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:08, Reply)
No.
My next door neighbours hooked me up with that tile restorer.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:10, Reply)
is your obsession with restored property a cry for help?
Do you house contempt for the pierced affliction you call a face?
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:10, Reply)
All this and more
today on JAYSUMS
*cue music*
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:10, Reply)
^ perpetual tenant and ITV enthusiast

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:11, Reply)
You can get fucked with the ITV thing and there's nothing wrong with renting, el cunto.
YD's been renting his harris for years
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:14, Reply)
MD's been dead for five years pal
And there may be nothing wrong with renting now, but when you're retired with an income of 144 pound a week then good luck paying your rent and your bills!
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:15, Reply)
moot, you'll prolly be dead from aids in three years

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:17, Reply)


(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:22, Reply)
thanks for the emotional support mate xx

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:23, Reply)
it was years ago, get over it

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:26, Reply)
well over it mate, it was just inconvenient as fuck

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:29, Reply)

+an as
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:40, Reply)
God GET OVER IT will you?
I'll have my parents house then to either sell on and get one of my own or live in. But thanks for the concern :)
I'll be working til im 70 anyway at this rate
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:27, Reply)
it's fairly likely that your parents will have to sell it to pay for long term care.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:28, Reply)
^ this
Unless they're rich?
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:51, Reply)
Exactly, they worked hard so you don't have to.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:28, Reply)
they must be so proud of their underachieving potatohead thicko sodomite son

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:30, Reply)

Thanks, I get told all the time.

want me to get a ouija board out so you can get some love?
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:52, Reply)
LOOK THE GLASS IS MOVING!!!!!
S......k......8......r......p.....r......i..................
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:53, Reply)
LOL

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:04, Reply)
click

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:05, Reply)
don't be daft
that's just "mrs dozer" pushing the glass
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:09, Reply)

Ouija board? Typical bender.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:07, Reply)
the beauty of working hard and getting your own house, means that when your parents die, you get 2 houses.
And then you can rent one out and have loads of cash for booze and kebabs and pizza and booze and lovely cocaine.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:31, Reply)
and that most of the time, your cost of living decreases over the years instead of increasing

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:33, Reply)
and you can't get forced to move house unless you go crankrupt

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:33, Reply)
you know what's even better than working hard?
not working hard
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:33, Reply)
typical northerner

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:34, Reply)
sloth is my third or fourth favourite sin

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:35, Reply)
What happens if you already have two houses and will inherit three more? What then?

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:35, Reply)
then you must donate four of them to the poor
Either that or sell them for a lot of money.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:38, Reply)
I hope my family die soon.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:39, Reply)
me too

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:40, Reply)
It won't make me like you just because we will both have dead families

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:42, Reply)
you like me for my suave manner and wakki persona, online

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Is it worth me pointing out that you are a prick in real life as well, or have people already worked that out for themselves?

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:44, Reply)
I think it's best for people to find out the hard way.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:47, Reply)
I assume everyone is the same online and in real life.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:48, Reply)
well of course they are

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:51, Reply)
I'm slightly duller and take a little longer to respond in real life.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:03, Reply)
damn weed

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:06, Reply)
I talk fewer in real life

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:07, Reply)
Yeah talking is boring innit

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:09, Reply)
I tend to shout more or just make irritating noises

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:10, Reply)
pizza kebabs with cocaine sauce

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:38, Reply)
So every day is a Friday? Woah.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:40, Reply)
that's basically the whole point of retirement

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:41, Reply)
OK. Your idea is better.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:52, Reply)
what is this?
I come here for a break from work and you're talking about water mills or some such shit?

FAIL
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:08, Reply)
Are you a miller?

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:09, Reply)
He's had Hugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:11, Reply)
and been Trumpton by all of them

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:14, Reply)
officelol

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:15, Reply)
he does kiss hairy farting arseholes

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:12, Reply)
hahahahaha!

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:14, Reply)
Didn't realise it ground your gears so much.....

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:10, Reply)
*windmills*

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:11, Reply)
As a fully paid up member of the National Trust,
I don't intend to visit any of their properties over the upcoming Bank Holiday weekend.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:08, Reply)
*nationaltrustfives*

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:09, Reply)
Get bent, you NT pansies
#englishheritage4lyf
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:12, Reply)
national trust scones are way better

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:13, Reply)
I'm only interested in the free samples of mead in the gift shops

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:15, Reply)
tggi^

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:15, Reply)
you fucking hobbit
/ac
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:28, Reply)
Having checked in my wallet, it turns out *englishheritagefives*

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:13, Reply)
I'm going to park in some of their car parks just to get my money's worth

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:11, Reply)
Good plan.
They sent me expired membership cards, this year. By way of an apology, they sent me a voucher for a free pot of tea, followed by a list of trains in which the voucher couldn't be accepted.
I've never felt so valued.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:17, Reply)
I do like a heritage railway

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:28, Reply)
I gave your mum a heritage railway.
She bloody loved it.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:42, Reply)
you know that you have truly become (more) middle class when you sign up for the RHS at a gardening show based at a National Trust property.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 14:06, Reply)
windmills are way better,
There's only water in rivers, but every one gets wind.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:17, Reply)
There's a little bit of Windy in all of us

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:17, Reply)
would you like a little more?

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:19, Reply)
ME!! PICK ME!!

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:27, Reply)
Both windmills and watermills are a reminder of both the laziness and redundancy of the working classes.
Depressing.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:27, Reply)
alright baggo.
You disgusting cretinous wanker stain.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:28, Reply)
not bad, windy. Bit busy.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:32, Reply)
you fucking hobbit

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:29, Reply)
I've been helping with this Windmill for about 10 years
www.windmillworld.com/millid/2480.htm

Somebody climbs up the frames to put the sails on if it is not too windy. We have a right laugh.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:28, Reply)
do you ever tie people to the sails and cut their throats like in that film with that bloke?

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:29, Reply)
I thought that's what they were for.

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:31, Reply)
Its more like Oh Mr Porter!

(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:33, Reply)
I do enjoy a good water mill.
There's something about the bucolic patter of the water reverberating off the old wooden blades that reminds me of the good old days of the Industrial Revolution, when you could send children to work without pay and beat them if they didn't work hard enough.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2015, 13:35, Reply)

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