Evening All :)

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:25, 249 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You do indeed
Chuck the cow out Ancrenne only lovely people should live with you!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:29, Reply)

@ ancrenne
Use this weeks QOTW for inspiration.

Or cunt her in the fuck!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:31, Reply)

Lay down the law
Confrontation is bad, but as you said better to get it out in the open and it sounds like if she can't respect your house then you should tell her to fuck off.

Me and BK will come round and sort her out :p

Edit: oooh ooh punch her in the face! Punch her in the face!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:33, Reply)

Nings all
I'm at work, but not working as my shift finished half an hour ago, but I'm out for engagement drinks a bit later and it's easier to stay here for the hour than faff about going home.

Ancrenne, if she won't listen to reason then I'd cunt her in the fuck too :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:36, Reply)

@Al
No, I was following exactly where you were going there. Please continue...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:38, Reply)

Al we wouldn't be able to take
pics as our chocolately fingers would mean we'd drop the camera. *advertises for a photographer*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:39, Reply)

@ ancrenne
That's two votes for cunting in the fuck!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:40, Reply)

Wehey!
*gladly volunteers to take photos perve*
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:42, Reply)

Yes
I thought I could perhaps help with getting the correct exposure...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:44, Reply)

Evenin' all!
I may have missed the boat a bit, but it's perfectly reasonable to expect a bit of respect from a tenant, ancrenne.

Grr. I can't stand people who take other people for granted and are rude. It's not on!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:46, Reply)

Evening evening thread people
would you like us to cunt her in the fuck?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:47, Reply)

Ancrenne,
Did you set out any kind of ground-rules in writing? Has she signed anything to say her lodging there is conditional of being a decent human being?

If so I would remind her of that. And if not, I think you have to gird your loins and give her notice. It's YOUR space she's violating with her unreasonableness, and as such you have to protect it.

I speak as one who had an obnoxious merkin in my house for 9 months against my will and went actually crazy from it. The old limbic brain kicking in. To this day I can't share my space for more than a day or two without feeling invaded and going funny in the head.

Good luck sweetie, you have our support, and you don't deserve to take shit off anyone.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:47, Reply)

Ooh yeah
tenancy agreement? Did you draw one up A?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:49, Reply)

...
What other things could be more important than her living arrangements?

She's clearly as scared as you. She's weak now, she thinks you're gonna throw her out - strike while the iron is hot! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:50, Reply)

@ancrenne
Tell her to get to fuck, and not to come back until she's changed her attitude.

Or until she gets in the paddling pool with the whipped cream...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:50, Reply)

I'd word it exactly like that
I'd not want to have anybody living with me that didn't find it amusing to have those exact words on a tenancy agreement.
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:53, Reply)

If there's nothing in writing
then kick her to the curb now and then get searching for a new lodger before the end of the month
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 18:54, Reply)

Which bit
The "must be capable of discussing things like an adult without resorting to teenage strops and tantrums"

or having to find the above humorous?
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:00, Reply)

Woo for ancrenne!
Good for you.

Get her out ASAP!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:01, Reply)

Sorry I was on the phone
Yay for getting rid of her!

Write a rule about them supplying you with chocolate as well :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:01, Reply)

Glad you're smiling
If you lived even remotely near where I want to be I'd come lodge with you. I'm desperate to move back out from my parents and I've only been back here a handful of months =/
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:03, Reply)

Hmm what's the rent like
Easier for me to get to the IoW from yours... :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:03, Reply)

Surely that's up to you?
Anyway. I'm off out for my birthday dinner. The pub is closed to all but our dinner party. Woot.

I expect I may be a little drunked later on.
( Captain V, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:06, Reply)

Well she has to leave within
those two weeks, by Sunday at the latest :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:06, Reply)

Evening
my lovelies, how are we all? I have had a wonderfully boring day at work and am now waiting to meet my housemate for dinner.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:18, Reply)

Have it the day she leaves
Then she'll know you've got the flags out for her fucking off.

*is evil*

*edit*
Howdy Zap!

Male or female housemate?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:19, Reply)

Howdy El Jefe Keloid & Miss Ancrenne
Male japanese housemate and a friend of ours what is from Tehran... so quite an eclectic gathering.

Indeed I shall be in Nodnol on thursday, might be a bit late cos I can only leave work at 4.30 and then get the bus down and then negoiate the tube. Been a bit quiet recently for various reasons but I need a good night out to clear the system.

How are you both?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:23, Reply)

I'm ok
Smiling at some plans I have made:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:26, Reply)

*/dives in
Hello all.
(Pretty strangers and promises, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:27, Reply)

Meh
Work = shite

Studying = less shite but tiring putting 4 or 5 hours in after a full day of work.

Other than that not much really. Haven't really been up to much.

Couldn't make the last bash as I came down with some sort of horrific flu/fever thing that had me chained to my bed for about a week. Looking forward to this one.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:27, Reply)

Hey Zap
I have suddenly gone very sleepy ZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ

Edit: Hey PSP (Can I call you that? You have a very long name...)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:28, Reply)

You can call me what you like
I admit, it is a rather shit name.
Edit: I'm very well, been working. How are you?
(Pretty strangers and promises, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:30, Reply)

Grammar Badger
Sleepy eh?

That'll be too much time spent in Rios nightclub.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:30, Reply)

I have never been
to Rios. And proud of it!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:35, Reply)

I'm currently doing complicated stuff
involving two computers, audio software, a (software) Bosendorfer grand piano, MIDI connections and digital optical audio lines. So far it's working as it should, but it was a bit fiddly to get set up.

I'm in tech heaven.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:38, Reply)

Knives?
Have you been spending a lot of time with Kaol....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:38, Reply)

Badger
You really are missing out.... erm. Its a high quality establishment.

I especially love the way the carpet sticks to your shoes. Havent been there for a while though.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:38, Reply)

Sounds like a great place to have near you
The scummy nightclub near me shut down recently, so everyone who went there has moved to the much nicer surrounding places-to-go-for-a-night-out.
(Pretty strangers and promises, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:40, Reply)

All the clubs round here are pretty bad...
*isn't a fan of clubbing anyways*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:41, Reply)

I second
that... Rios... Mirage/Evolve.... Sugar/Smack...

Too many teenage years wasted. They have been cleaned up somewhat recently though.

I am still amazed at meeting people who claim that going clubbing in Leam is a 'great night out'. Riiiight.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:44, Reply)

@Al
I'm using an Edirol FA-101 into a Mac Pro running Logic Pro 8.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:46, Reply)

You
could wear oilskins.

And on the bright side you could also use the oilskin pockets to steal soup.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:46, Reply)

Thanks Al :)
And great nights out can be had in Leam but you have to be quite drunk :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:47, Reply)

And
you could also steal their dogs and shopping trolleys.

I'm sure theres a money spinner in there somewhere.

AHA. Tied the dogs to the shopping trolleys - volia - modern chariot racing.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:49, Reply)

Probably
stealing soup, dogs and trolleys right now.

@Badger, yeah Leam is only good in an advanced state of inebriation. Haven't been back for a while though... the liver can't handle it.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:51, Reply)

Good evening everyone
My Danish dream has come to an end, as with all good things. Ho hum.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:52, Reply)

Evening, Edmund
Is this a dream of yours involving Denmark, or a particularly nice form of Danish pastry?
(Pretty strangers and promises, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:53, Reply)

Danish dreams
could also involve bacon. Or Lurpak.

Which brings us back to a previous conversation regarding alternative uses for butter...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:54, Reply)

I hope he didn't leave a mess
after the waggling Ancrenne...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:55, Reply)

@PS&P
My relationship with a Danish friend. Damn. Knew it was too good to last. Arse.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:56, Reply)

You should huff louder!
Have a huff-off!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:58, Reply)

@Al
It was a tad expensive, although I managed both to get educational discount and to claim tax allowance on it. Legitimately!

I am now going to watch Fifth Gear. I'll return to the fray at 9pm.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 19:58, Reply)

Ooh Fifth Gear
I may go watch too!

Al that made me laugh so much a little bit of wee may have come out!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:00, Reply)

Did someone mention Gladiation?
I'm here, in full gear.

I wasn't poncing about the house in it, honestly.

Let's Gladiate!!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:00, Reply)

'lo
ancrenne, good on you for standing up for your wish for a bit of respect in your own bloody house!

Jeez, some people...

On a lesser note, I can't access b3ta from work so you'll be seeing a bit less of me round here *sob*. Something about not 'accessing inapporpriate websites'. There's no definition, but I don't want to cunt myself in the fuck...

And for now I leave you with a thought. If you are in the middle of smoking a cigarette, whatever you do, DO NOT belm whilst you still have the cigarette in your mouth. You will (a) look stupid; (b) drop the fucker on the ground, and (c) potentially burn your nipple... that is all.

may have belmed whilst smoking a fag yesterday
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:10, Reply)

Evening all!
I've just made the mother of all salads, and her great uncle, Mr Beefytomatosaucething. If I do say so myself, they were bloody lush, and I feel like my tongue has just come.

Anyone else eat well today?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:17, Reply)

I had a baked apple earlier
with an apple I picked five minutes earlier straight from the tree!
*back from the bath
(Pretty strangers and promises, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:18, Reply)

Good, thanks al
we went to see BGB, Boss Keloid and the Loon at the weekend. It was fun.

Dinenr nearly ready, so see you in a bit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:18, Reply)

Evening Davros!
You having a good time in the Lakes?

*edit*
Guessing your not in the Lakes. I was pissed in my defence:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:20, Reply)

Sultanas
are the devil's pet rabbit's funky arse pebbles.

I should add that, after a few years of eating crisps and ready meals, actually cooking things again is really making me very happy. Buying, chopping, grinding, preparing and cooking my ingredients just feels so right!

God, I sound so ghey!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:23, Reply)

Definitely
So far, we've had home-grown parsley, oregano, beans, peas, carrots and potatoes. The butternut squash are coming along nicely, the tomatoes are nearly ripe, the sunflower seeds are drying and there's a treeful of apples waiting to be picked.

Almost as good are eating things you didn't grow but picked anyway. There's almost a kilo of blackberries to be turned into jam and pies.

I still haven't forgiven the caterpillars for eating my sprout plants, though. Bastards.
( le brian, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:24, Reply)

With Spears, you say?
Excellent. Escept she won't be allowed weaponry. And there will be tigers.

A bloodbath will ensue. Me and Mr. Tickles v. Ancrenne's stupid lodger.

Let battle commence!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:26, Reply)

@ancrenne
I can imagine.

They're definitely voracious. I had three leafy little sprout plants one day, and, a few days later, three sad little plant skeletons and a load of fat caterpillars.

I'll try the fleece next year. Thanks for the tip
( le brian, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:30, Reply)

Hehe
A sharpened Britney? I like it! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:31, Reply)

It's like Buzzcocks
Here are some punchlines we didn't use...
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:40, Reply)

looks like I've missed some pretty funny stuff this evening
damn diy

my bathroom is looking better and better though

will get it finished off properly during my week off next week if it kills me!

how are you all?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:48, Reply)

Fifth Gear is over
thus I am back.

Evening all recent arrivals.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 20:58, Reply)

It was indeed, ancrenne
Most entertaining.

I find it's less gimmicky and contrived than Top Gear. Shame about the ads though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:02, Reply)

Saw Fifth Gear dubbed into French once
That was a bit bizarre.
(Pretty strangers and promises, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:04, Reply)

I don't have channel 5
Don't think I'm missing too much
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:07, Reply)

*cries*
I don't have Channel 5 either. I normally gravitate to car programmes like fatties do to kebab shops.

*investigates having TV aerial installed*

*edit* Cheers K2k6. God bless teh interwebs
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:11, Reply)

On Channel 5
I watch Fifth Gear.

That's pretty much it.

I don't watch much telly full stop. I've usually got more to do.

Edit@rubberduck - Ch5 is available from teh interwebs on demand now. Go to www.five.tv and have a look.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:11, Reply)

WE WILL
WE WILL

ROCK YOU.


dum dum dum


How's my favourite bunch of weirdos off the internet?

*snogs ancrenne all over*
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:12, Reply)

I'd love some wine darlin
How's the tenent hell harpy?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:15, Reply)

al-
I will be in attendance as I will be being paid to do an MRI scan earlier in the day.

ancrenne- I feel your pain. Mine's moving out in 2 weeks. Hooray! (I've done 3 fucking years of him though....)
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:18, Reply)

Hooray!
Shit tenants/ housemates are the pits!

Evening MM!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:18, Reply)

If I click on that HSH pic one more time.....
Evening BTK. As I've always wanted to call you.

ooh ooh al I do I do!
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:19, Reply)

Best to put it in dry, Al
then brush the surface with a stiff broom and let the rain do the rest.



Evening, MM.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:24, Reply)

pffft!!
put it in dry


goes back to giggling
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:24, Reply)

I wouldn't bother with the plasticiser
unless it's a very large area of solid grout.

EDIT: slide off the chair, and then continue to creep out the room, still smiling?

EDIT2: off to have home made yum curry. back in a bit x
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:27, Reply)

Nings again
I'm back from the engagement drinks. Was expecting a call to say what treatment they'll be starting on my dad, but instead they've pushed his appointment back to Wednesday as they're cunts. Not fucking impressed.

I love how there's always about 20 conversations on here at once that still flow beautifully and no one gets ignored :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:30, Reply)

I am only going to read Ancrenne's most recent post
and take it from there.

You're a sick woman, A.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:31, Reply)

Evening all.
I hope everyone is good and well.

I watched "Get Smart" yesterday. Very funny film, I really recommend it.
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:31, Reply)

As MM says
you don't need plasticiser.

You're only filling a little crack, after all. Not like it's a big gaping gash or anything.

/smut
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:35, Reply)

Yes, Ms A.
I'm watching you.
*watches*

Stig, I saw a trailer for that - wasn't sure about it, but glad you enjoyed it.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:38, Reply)

Much better thanks Al
He's still in hospital, but doing physio every day, so he's getting stronger very slowly again. He was a lot more like himself when I saw him on Saturday :) Just fucked off waiting for results and progress.

Is this really the best time of year to be doing outdoor stuff with paving slabs? Surely everything takes so much longer to dry as it's getting colder and raining and stuff? Far better to fuck it off til next spring when you can use the excuse of spring rain instead ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:38, Reply)

@becky
Well, I had intended to lay the slabs in June. But the first nice weekend when I was free was the one before last. So I need to grout them asap or the sand will get washed out from below if it rains hard.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:40, Reply)

@ becky
That's good news. Glad he's getting stronger:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:42, Reply)

@ Clendrix
I was deeply impressed with "Get Smart". It's a screwball type comedy, but it's not over-done (i.e Jim Carrey).

What's going on around here?

I'll try to avoid talking about cars....
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:44, Reply)

Ancrenne...
voyeurism suggests watching secretively. So no.

*sits in chair three feet away*
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:45, Reply)

Contrary to popular belief
concrete/mortar etc actually sets better when it's wet. If it's allowed to dry out it won't set properly, because the chemical reaction occurring during curing is a hydration process.

Of course if the rain's so heavy it washes it all away, then it won't work, but cool damp weather is ideal, so long as it's not frosty.

Sorry. Is it too late for science?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:45, Reply)

*perches on arm of chair*

*both stare intently at ancrenne*

Pssst, Clendrix, she's not doing anything. Shall we prod her with a stick?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:46, Reply)

Al
If by 'stick' you mean...

Yeh, go on.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:47, Reply)

*prods ancrenne*

*with penisstick*

@K2k6 So would it not be better to use wet grout then?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:50, Reply)

hey clendrix
how are you this evening?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:50, Reply)

Thanks BK
I never knew that K2k6, *stores it up in memory for next time*...scary thing is I will actually remember that, as opposed to something useful that I HAVE to know ,)

Why are we prodding Ancrenne with poking sticks and other implements?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:51, Reply)

@Al
Yes, except for the fact that you're likely to get it all over the slabs, and it's a bugger to get off.

And seeing as the grout's not doing anything structural as such, it doesn't need to be particularly strong. But in cool damp weather it'll pick up and retain enough moisture from the ground to set nicely anyway.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:52, Reply)

It's alright
she's stripping out of twelfty layers of seductive cardigan goodness now. You can stop prodding her.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:52, Reply)

*pokes*
for faster strippage
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:53, Reply)

Seductive cardigan removal
is a new form of striptease to me.

I wonder if it'll catch on.

*prods*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:54, Reply)

Hello BK
you ray of sunshine. I'm pretty good; stopped off for a couple of beers and now I'm at home drinking tea.

How are you?
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:55, Reply)

Oh my god
*spluffs uncontrollably at ancrennes description*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:57, Reply)

83 pairs of tights?
Your legs must look like tree trunks!

*drools*
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:57, Reply)

Of course
when I say "description" ....

I mean nose.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:57, Reply)

I'll come back later
in time for the thermals coming off!

Edit - Sod it. I'll stay around for a few minutes.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:58, Reply)

Happy as Larry thanks Miss C
In fact, *flex*

Cardigan stripping is what happens at the Shreddies factory Xmas do when they overdo the sherry.

It's true, I worked there as a tea boy.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:58, Reply)

pfft
excuses excuses A ,)

I'm off for a bit, but might be back later
*distributes hugs in an uneven ratio*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:58, Reply)

@BK
of course, when you say tea boy...

This joke really is very versatile. Though I fear it is becoming stale now.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 21:59, Reply)

Acrenne
"Under the circumstances, if it wasn't gratuitous and it was tastefully done, would you consider keeping your clothes on in chat thread.....?"

Special thanks to "Dennis Pennis". :O)
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:01, Reply)

This could take a while.
Al - not stale yet - still makes me larf.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:02, Reply)

@ clendrix
Definitely not stale. Still makes me chuckle.

Of course, when I say chuckle....
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:03, Reply)

@clendrix
when you say "laugh"...
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:03, Reply)

Mrs Al is home
so i'm off. Night all!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:04, Reply)

Random fact alert
I have just eaten the finest orange I've had in ages.

I'm also gong to bed soon.

Will you be naked by tomorrow morning ancrenne? I'll come back to see!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:05, Reply)

Not DVT, ancrenne
but possibly heat exhaustion!

Night all. I'm off to bed.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:08, Reply)

Well....
On that note (i.e insulting the lovely Acrenne) I'm off to bed. Even The Stig needs his sleep.

Some say he sleeps on a bed of bricks and that his Pyjamas are made of carbon fibre.

All we know is.....he's called "The Stig"!:O)
(The Stig, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:13, Reply)

I think I might also depart this fine place
and read my book awhile.

G'night, fine people.
( thealternativefact, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:18, Reply)

Thursday
Good news - I'm working in London on Thursday which means I get to claim travel expenses for attending the qotw meetup

Bad news - I will be suited
( djtrialprice, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:19, Reply)

Night people?

It's not even 22:30. Saying that though I probably won't be around for much longer.

I'm like the Scarlet Pimpernel, appearing from nowhere and returning just as quickly. Except without rescuing any Frenchie types.
( djtrialprice, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:23, Reply)

@DJTP
Suit up Ted!

[/Neil Patrick Harris]

*wonders if DJTP is really called Ted*
(bill, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:24, Reply)

'lo again
I'm back for a short while. I need to start being a grown up and going to bed at an hour that doesn't actually involve being technically the next morning, if you get my drift... not as young as I used to be, y'know.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:26, Reply)

'lo ancrenne
it's been a non stop whirl of pasta, wine and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In that order :-)

*EDIT* just nipping out for a fag.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:28, Reply)

I refer you
to the edit in my last message...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:33, Reply)

Hullo!
Is anyone still here?

My eye's all hurty. Not a good evening! :(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:36, Reply)

lodgers eh?

Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em and bury them under the patio. Well... do you have a patio?

I got distracted on a strange idea I'd come up with. I know most people meeting up know a few other people but I don't really. Thought it might be fun to collate everyones' Best answers into a booklet thingy. It's harder than I first thought mainly 'cos it's late and I'm lazy.
( djtrialprice, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:38, Reply)

*reappears*
A best of booklet would be awesome :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:40, Reply)

@ ancrenne - Bill of the wisp maybe ;-)
Something like that, after again bening told I should post more at the last bash I'm trying to be around a little more.

iPhone posting from the pub helps immensely. Although it reveals my lack of English language skillz as there's no spell check ;-)

*frowney about the lodger by the way* [offers to join b3ta lynch mob]
(bill, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:42, Reply)

tell you what then
I'll try and labour hard to finish said document and distribute electronically before I head for bed
( djtrialprice, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:50, Reply)

Well I don't
want to keep you up! :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:51, Reply)

'lo again
I suggested a best of QOTW book just the other day - apparently it would involve too much work to collate :-(

Still think it would be a brilliant idea though.

Think I'm off to bed now. Night all.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:51, Reply)

Dunno, really!
Got an eye infection, and it just really stings and it's making me grumpy and I've got a wedding to go to on Saturday and a B3ta bash on Thursday and I don't want my eye to be grotty.

That's it really. I'm in the wars at the moment! :(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:52, Reply)

Well it would be a bit of
work. Are we talking just stuff from the actual best of pages?

DiT that's rubbish you taking drops every couple hours for it?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:55, Reply)

Hmm
I've got this weird cream stuff the pharmacist gave me but it doesn't stop the itching! :( 'S doubly annoying cos there's naff all you can do about it!

The Mrs is gonna get me some stuff called GoldenEye tomorrow, which is meant to be good.

And with that, I'm going to take myself to bed! Nighty night all! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:58, Reply)

I just scrolled to the top of the page to post
and then realised I DIDN'T HAVE TO!!!!!!

so that was fun.

Also DiT, you are rubbish for leaving. Only losers leave.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:01, Reply)

*rushes back in*
Evening MM! *high fives*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:02, Reply)

HOORAY!!!!
How very lovely of you

*high fives*

*misses*

*looks like a twat once again*
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:03, Reply)

*font of sty knowledge*
The gold does indeed help, but a used teabag helps to make the swelling go down really quickly, as the tannin does clever science things.

ancrenne- the curry was buff and win
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:05, Reply)

Awe...
You don't look like a twat, lovely! It's our *special* high five!

Looks like another trip to the Doctor. No visits for over 5 years and suddenly I'm never out of the damned place. At least he won't have to have my balls in his hand now! EDIT: I don't think it's a sty, I think it's conjunctivitis... :(

I think I'm gonna have to go to bed, I am el grumpo. Sorry chaps!

*hugs and kisses*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:06, Reply)

Try the teabag DiT
it always worked for me and I have really spastic eyes

Nighty night xx

EDIT: or not then...
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:08, Reply)

I also made scones
which were lovely. But sadly not vegan.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:09, Reply)

Blimey
A lady phoned and an hour has passed.

Time for bed I think. Night folks!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:10, Reply)

Woo to tha muthafuckin' Yay homeboy
www.djtp.ndo.co.uk/b3ta.pdf

If you print this double-sided it can be folded into a booklet.

Might be a bit thick for practical purposes though :(

(created using Open Office btw, GPL ftw!)
( djtrialprice, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:11, Reply)

fuckinell pricey
nice work!

How long did that take you?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:15, Reply)

Not too long
Shamefully alphabetising the list of attendees took up a fair portion.

But other than that it was just a case of opening people's profile page and copying and pasting stuff. Open Office's help pages told me how to change the print options to make it all booklety.
( djtrialprice, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:21, Reply)

Nice
Theoretically, gathering the data ought not to take very long at all - it's all available via a few HTTP calls, and the markup's pretty sane, so getting the text ought to be easy enough.

I'd be tempted to flex my perl and TeX (best of all the animals document processing languages) and try a "best three of every QOTW" document, but a lack of tuits will probably stop me
( le brian, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:22, Reply)

I'm very impressed
are you planning on printing it for the bash?

I can't believe my top story is me drinking fucking meths


Also, I just shut my finger in the toilet door and it hurts like fuck
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:24, Reply)

Thanks guys
I feel surprisingly useful. I'll head for bed before I fuck something up.
( djtrialprice, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:25, Reply)

Posting from bed FTMFW!
I have tried the cold flannel and it's worked a treat on the itching, and currently have a teabag on one eye - I can truly say I have teabagged myself now!

Thank you for all the tips, ladies! *ensnuggles* xx

Edit: a bag of peas should help, MM! I can't wait to see this booklet tomorrow - am I in it? ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:27, Reply)

Re: the printing
I'll give it a go with the work printer tomorrow if I get a chance. Probably won't be able to make many copies though without taking the piss.

Right, bed ahoy.
( djtrialprice, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:28, Reply)

ancrenne
I like to think that my life has spawned more achievement than trampiness.

Clearly I'm lying to myself though....
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:30, Reply)

Thanks ancrenne
and pfft!
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:34, Reply)

Has she signed anything?
Cause if she hasn't, and you're living in the same house that you own, you can tell her to get to fuck basically.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:38, Reply)

Right...
Who's still about?
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:41, Reply)

me and ancrenne
mostly
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:42, Reply)

You're fine love
Don't ever do signings or anything, always live in the same house and you'll be fine legally.

Are you declaring earnings though?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:44, Reply)

Et moi
Sans Tess :(
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:45, Reply)

So everyone is minus someone?
Apart from MM?

Well, I recorded a cover song tonight, which was fun.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:46, Reply)

I'm as much here as I ever am
Which is to say, I lurk, say something devastatingly insightful and/or witty dumb, then vanish, leaving you wanting more clear off, and not before time
( le brian, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:46, Reply)

In that case ancrenne
this has all you need to know.

And yes, I have all the me I shall ever need. I'd like to hear the song Kaol...
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:48, Reply)

*waves*
I am playing games on Yahoo but still lurking about on here :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:48, Reply)

Cock.
iTunes won't open.
And I want to listen to some music.
Re-start ahoy.
( Cawl, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:49, Reply)

@TGB
Hello ... how are things in Marina-world?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:53, Reply)

ancrenne
that was directed at Kaol. I should have elaborated....


My heart bleeds for you Kaol. I'm sure the starving third world children also feel your plight.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:53, Reply)

Marina world is good thanks
Hopefully the weather will stay nice I am removing an engine tomorrow. Don't fancy doing it in the rain
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:54, Reply)

@MM
Starving third world children have to use the OLPC XO laptop.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OLPC_XO-1

No iTunes.
( le brian, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:55, Reply)

le brian
it's a cruel, cruel world, when the poor people have no mp3s.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:57, Reply)

Fuck the children
I wanna listen to Alkaline Trio.
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:02, Reply)

@Kaol
Don't their screams drown out the music?
( le brian, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:07, Reply)

Good :p
Well, listening to music isn't gonna save 'em.

Me listening to music will save children here though, by keeping my sanity intact.

And as for screams, nah, you just slit the vocal chords first :)
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:08, Reply)

The new knife
a.k.a. The Bloodener, can cut through time itself :D

I love it!

Also, this post is awesome:
www.b3ta.com/questions/foodsabotage/post250194

*looks around slowly*
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:15, Reply)

nope...
One for each hand :)
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:16, Reply)

It's not multi-tasking
If you're repeating the same action with both hands...

Like playing the bongos!
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:26, Reply)

Yeah...
Unless they're steel drums :p
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:34, Reply)

Yay!
Knives and fire!

*heart-rate increases*

Also: When out-doors sex goes wrong: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7629433.stm
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:40, Reply)

Wonder if they got to finish?
Or if it put 'em off their train of thought?
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:48, Reply)

*shakes head*
It's so funny that I can't laugh any more at it.
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:51, Reply)

Hahaha!
The story that's winning the QOTW is the one I posted the link to earlier.
I should get 40% of the winnings.
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 1:00, Reply)

Maybe.
But I like the idea of him "owing me one".
Like The Godfather :)
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 1:06, Reply)

*shrugs*
You know me too well, I guess :p

Good luck with the cat-ness.
Night!
( Cawl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 1:13, Reply)