So Call Me Dave has identified that conspiracy theories, spread via the internet, encourage the radicalisation of our youth and cause terrorism.
It turns out anything you say on the internet fuels this and it is probably your fault.

With this in mind I'd just like to say that it was the Jews what did 9/11 in order to get the west to start a war with Islam, and I encourage you all to join your local Jihadi organisation (they should be in the Yellow Pages).

Alt: Do you have any conspiracy theories that you'd like to share with the group?
Go on, don't be afraid, no one will make fun of you or anything.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:24, 154 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

With apologies to the ghost of Bill Hicks
I have this feeling, because we all know that a handful, a very small elite, run and own corporations, which include the mainstream media. I have this feeling that whoever is elected president of the USA, no matter what you promise on the campaign trail, when you win, you go into this smoke-filled room with the twelve industrialist capitalist types who got you in there. You're in this smoky room, and this little film screen comes down … and a big guy with a cigar goes, "Roll the film." And it's a shot of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you've never seen before … that looks suspiciously like it's from the grassy knoll. And then the screen goes up and the lights come up, and they go to the new president, "Any questions?"
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:30, Reply)

heh yeah. I liked bill hicks when I was a stroppy teenager too.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:31, Reply)

He was younger than me

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:33, Reply)

D'you think he was killed by the CIA?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:49, Reply)

If by CIA you mean Cancer In the Ass* you might be right
*actually pancreatic cancer
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:52, Reply)

Placid types horrible comedy

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:34, Reply)

Keyword: Jews

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:38, Reply)

Bill Hicks was a smug unfunny prick.
Which reminds me - where *is* 'A Vagabond'?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:47, Reply)

He became radicalised from listening to too many RDF records and flew to Turkey in order to cross the border into Syria to join ISIS.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:49, Reply)

Him and May a bigger threat to 'British values' whatever they're supposed to be.
I'm more concerned about the systematic fucking of the poor, dismantling of the NHS, major infractions on civil liberties under the guise of stopping 'extremism' and the potential of Britain pulling out of the EU and becoming some walled garden to placate a bunch of stupid fucking pensioners who haven't realised we're not a fucking empire.

It genuinely worries me that in a decade or so people will be standing around on a wasteland wondering where the fuck it all went wrong.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:33, Reply)

Yeah, but as long as the poor doesn't include me, that's alright.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:42, Reply)

^tggi

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:43, Reply)

jews used nikola tesla's electro mechanical oscillator to destroy the twin towers, the planes were holograms like when they used holograms to bring tupac back to the stage apart from he's really alive too and living in cuba

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:33, Reply)

JET FUEL CAN'T MELT STEEL BEAMS.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:42, Reply)

Seeing them at Infestzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:43, Reply)

+Gooding, Jnr.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:42, Reply)

I genuinely had to shut down a discussion on day one of camping with a friend recently as he started talking about how the twin towers could never have collapsed from planes hitting.
He actually used the phrase "jet fuel can't melt steel beams."
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:43, Reply)

Poo is the only language these tinfoil nutters understand.
Edit: well this makes no sense now, you ginja ninger
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:46, Reply)

Ha.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:47, Reply)

I attended a gig not long ago, which could have been defined as a radical meeting espousing extremist ideology under these terms.
Luckily it was at an insignificant little venue in Coventry and the audience was mainly middle-class white people, so I doubt it came under the government's radar.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:45, Reply)

I caught a bit of Muse at Download and buys of the skinny ones rambling about drones and stuff could have counted

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:47, Reply)

This was full on "the Jews run everything and must be stopped" type stuff.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:48, Reply)

Oh, what were you doing there?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:55, Reply)

Being radicalised.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:57, Reply)

I had this theory - it sounds really wakki and off-the wall, but bear with me
I believe, and I have no proof, that bankers may have rigged their rates so that they made more money for themselves, despite the fact that it would have shafted lots of their investors. I know, it's unlikely but bear with me. Coupled with this, I reckon that Investment banks might, just might, not be working entirely in the interests of their customers.
I know, it's weird. It'd mean that banking types could just be self-interested money grubbers, and we all know that's not true.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:49, Reply)

I bet you're a fucking hoot at parties.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:55, Reply)

He's brought his guitar along!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:57, Reply)

The stories are bad enough
But when you disagree with him, he gets a pen and notebook out and starts taking notes on what you're saying. That's when you've got to watch out because bro, there be a storm coming.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:05, Reply)

My favourite conspiracy theory is that there was a deal between private prison owners and record company executives to promote gangsta rap to fill the prisons.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:56, Reply)

No that one is true.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:58, Reply)

slabs of tyskie are killing public houses

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:56, Reply)

LIES!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:09, Reply)

actually a 'good' one i read about is that spiders are actually an alien species from outer space and that's why so many people are scared of them, it's instinctual fear or something

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:58, Reply)

Makes sense.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:59, Reply)

Does that mean I'm not scared of Aliens?
Akshully I looked in to this for Psychology and people who are scared of these ickle things that are smaller then their boot that they could kill by squeezing them nearly always have a parent that is scared of them. Its learned behaviour. I grew up in the countryside climbing trees, crawling through hedges and fucking farm animals and I'm not scared of bugs.
( Peej, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:01, Reply)

It does not mean that, because it's bollocks. I bet you are scared of aliens though. You're the type.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:05, Reply)

You are afraid of buccas though, aren't you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:07, Reply)

Giant isopods freak me the fuck out.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:12, Reply)

*keeps quiet*

( Kroney, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:15, Reply)

*officesnort*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:41, Reply)

IDGI and that makes me sad.

( Peej, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:26, Reply)

I have a couple of nutter acquaintances
and whats weird about these nutter types is they believe every single conspiracy theory without question. No picking or choosing, they believe the lot.
( Peej, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:59, Reply)

and their point of reference 'experts' are also conspiracy theorists. I can see 100% the reason
for writing pseudoscience tosh because it pays extremely well. Being a follower of conspiracy theories, well that is logically a conspiracy orchestrated by the alien overlords.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:19, Reply)

So has chompy flounced again then?

( Kroney, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:02, Reply)

It's unclear whether he has or if he has just put the entire site on ignore.
Either way it's difficult to come out of collarspacegate with any dignity.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:03, Reply)

When I posted a thread about Googling your own username and definitely not other people's
His was the one I definitely didn't Google
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:06, Reply)

Was that really him then?
I thought one if us did it to upset him.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:35, Reply)

I loved 'willing to relocate'.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:53, Reply)

...from his mum's house

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:53, Reply)

In all developed nations, the price of a pack of cigs is set to the price of one hour's labour at minimum wage
to recoup the money paid to bone-idle smoking tossers when they're on their constant fag breaks.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:15, Reply)

20 Regal is nearly a tenner now.
The minimum wage is nearly half that.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:16, Reply)

Interesting.....

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:18, Reply)

I saw a link on FB this very morning
that was posted by some 100% Grade A redneck fruitloop showing 'definitive' proof that airliners are deliberately pumping out mind-altering chemicals via contrails.

"Our time is running out people. We have to rise up now" etc. The guy's profile is fucking glorious.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:26, Reply)

i hate people who want to 'rise up', they never do. bullshitters.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:27, Reply)

Let's rise up. You first.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:36, Reply)

the 'rising up' seems to consist of standing around with some bent placard and cheering russell brand for an hour or two before going home, i can't be bothered

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:45, Reply)

He's a working class hero.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:52, Reply)

come the revolution they'll be shitting themselves under the kitchen table.
I'll be on a First Class flight to Australia to join up with all the PWOPAH racists.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:39, Reply)

bloody grouse idea

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:41, Reply)

You only don't believe him because the chemtrails have affected your brain.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:28, Reply)

Well of course. It's too late for me now. I can see that.
But the redneck, who's FB profile pic features his array of semi-automatic weapons and who's probably been off his tits since he was 12, is perfectly placed to lead the revolution.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:30, Reply)

'Chemtrails', Flouride nutters and anti-vaxxers
Gotta love 'em
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:30, Reply)

Still my favourite tinfoil hat site
www.orgoneblasters.com
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:36, Reply)

Holy rotating shitballs, batman
That site is....errrm - odd?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:40, Reply)

It's no Time Cube though
www.timecube.com/
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:40, Reply)

It is a spectacular site of odd

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:21, Reply)

I'll say
$$$ for some lumps of crystal you bury in the ground that can repel chemtrails? Makes perfect sense.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:43, Reply)

^ typical alien speak

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:54, Reply)

SILENCE EARTHLING

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:07, Reply)

I KILL YOU!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:34, Reply)

yeah like the anti-banker nutters

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:51, Reply)

I know we went to the moon. I'm aware of all the evidence. The 'hoax' arguments are retarded.
But something doesn't quite sit right with me about it.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:57, Reply)

Certainly Jonathan King overstated it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:00, Reply)

It's probably that they didn't bring back any cheese

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:07, Reply)

Very difficult to milk an ant.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:08, Reply)

It's not made of cheese you fucking idiot
thats just the topping, if you dig down a bit and you'll find the pasta and meat sauce
( Peej, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:23, Reply)

But what's the vegetarian option?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:27, Reply)

God has no place for vegetarians in his plan for the universe.
soz.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:29, Reply)

It's canneloni up in space.....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:28, Reply)

n

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:28, Reply)

+collar

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:29, Reply)

Is it that you're a daft jockanese spaz?
Because if you are, I think I might know why it doesn't sit right with you.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:37, Reply)

dunno what a jockanese is
so can't really judge if I am one
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:48, Reply)

does anyone know of any gourmet cooks with time on their hands?
Not you, Graeme.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:34, Reply)

MOST CHEF'S HAVE HAD THYME ON THEIR HANDS.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:35, Reply)

dead on it is arse

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:37, Reply)

yer

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:39, Reply)

thyme is money ...
to people that sell thyme
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:37, Reply)

time lime and chilli
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:51, Reply)

eh?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:54, Reply)

Amstell.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:03, Reply)

COCAINE, PATRON AND WANKING

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:08, Reply)

"Solicitors to the Stars"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:17, Reply)

I do actually. If you're serious, Gaz im me.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:05, Reply)

what's the youngest age you would date?
Asking for a deviant.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:09, Reply)

18-99

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:10, Reply)

but a bitch aint one

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:13, Reply)

27 ish.
Even that don't seem right.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:14, Reply)

Half your age plus seven, innit?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:15, Reply)

That's for normal people
Gays will fuck anything
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:17, Reply)

18

( Peej, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:20, Reply)

69 lol

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:20, Reply)

*keeps quiet*

( Kroney, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:23, Reply)

^ HE'S OVER HERE!!!

(Twangy Rubber, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:27, Reply)

Our Government are a right bunch of fuckers.
what does the Queen actaully do? eh?

we need a new way to be ruled.
Or why should we be ruled? Why cant we live like one giant hive...
BECAUSE A HIVE NEEDS A QUEEN!

Share the wealth dammit.

Ok?

Lovely
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:12, Reply)

Glad you're here.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:15, Reply)

and a hive has a fuckload of drones.....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:16, Reply)

We could do with finding a way of making democracy actually, y'know, democratic.
But this also would need to work around the big problem of most people being fucking idiots who would shoot themselves and the rest of us in the foot all the time.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:18, Reply)

I don't think that's democracy.
We need a sort of benevolent fascism.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:23, Reply)

Are we going to have to vote MEATSNAKE again?

(Twangy Rubber, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:25, Reply)

SLABS OF TYSKIE FOR ALL!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:26, Reply)

I, for one, welcome our easily carried to the boot of the car overlords.

(Twangy Rubber, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:27, Reply)

TREASON! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME! STRIP TWANGERS OF HIS LANDS, TITLES, CLOTHES AND SLABS
(+ lol)
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:29, Reply)

I think someone already did.
Oh, you mean more Tyskie than a person can carry?
(Twangy Rubber, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:29, Reply)

The true test of a man is how much Tyskie he can carry...
...on the inside
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:32, Reply)

Jayse? Got a query for you.

(Twangy Rubber, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:33, Reply)

being a geordie, he's a 'canny' lad

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:34, Reply)

^^
see? Told you all.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:38, Reply)

i'm suggesting you can fit a slab of canned lager up your bum, glad you are so proud!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:39, Reply)

And well used to dealing with ringpulls

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:39, Reply)

just make me president for life and have done with it

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:25, Reply)

I'm increasingly coming round to the idea of fascism.
With me at the helm, natch.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:26, Reply)

Humans work best under autocracies interspersed with bloody revolution. The sooner people accept that, the better.

( Kroney, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:25, Reply)

There simply hasn't been enough violence and murder in British politics for far too long.
We're certainly long overdue someone raising an army of supporters, murdering the monarch and seizing the throne.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:28, Reply)

Is it OK if I keep hold of Beatrice?
For, uh, a project I'm working on.
(Twangy Rubber, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:29, Reply)

Is the project "horse fucking?"

( Kroney, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:30, Reply)

*keeps quiet*

(Twangy Rubber, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:31, Reply)

The monarch's alright with me.
I'm bang up for a bit of Guy Fawkesing, though.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:29, Reply)

Forget it, we'll never see a Catholic on the throne in our lifetimes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:35, Reply)

Too many comfortable fat bastards who want to maintain the status quo.
*rocksallovertheworld*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:30, Reply)

You'd be first up against the wall, you fat bastard.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:33, Reply)

He's doomed once the revolution gains a foothold

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:35, Reply)