Morning all
I get to start half an hour late today, which is nice. Perhaps the highlight of my day, in fact.

What's going to be the highlight of your day?


(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:04, 370 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The highlight of my day will be....
.....going home to relax, enjoy the evening and watch Newcastle United play (and probably lose) against Man. City.
(The Stig, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:11, Reply)

I think my highlight
will be getting home at the end of the working day. I've got quite a lot to do today. Not necessarily time consuming, but I have a lot of individual little tasks to remember.

I have had one high point already though. The rain was battering down as I was driving in to work, but when I got to the car park it stopped, allowing me to walk to my office without being drenched.

Thanks, weather!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:21, Reply)

Morning!
*waves at PoD and Stig* EDIT: and k2k6!

I'm feeling remarkably bright and chirpy this morning. Last night was the first night in a while that I didn't have any alcohol. I wonder if the two things are connected?

Highlight of my day? I've got a Bentley Arnage T to play with later, so I can lord it around the place shouting 'Get orrf moi laaaand' at people :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:25, Reply)

Howdy, Rubberduck! Howdy, K26k! Howdy, PoD!
What twaddle are we going to talk about today?
(The Stig, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:26, Reply)

Morning folks
I once again am jealous of your job, 'ducky.

My day shall consist of group meetings, lectures, and working on a hand in for next Monday. What funs it shall be.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:28, Reply)

Mornings all
Don't see why it should be any different from the usual twaddle, Stig!

A Bentley, eh, Rubberduck? Nice.

Though I must say, there are a lot of cars I would consider first, had I the money, such as offerings from Porsche, Ferrari and Lambo (he says without having driven any of them).
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:34, Reply)

Actually (and this is the only thing I'd say about cars, today!)....
.....I'm looking, quite seriously, at a Cadillac CTS! It's a fine looking car and drives very well.
(The Stig, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:45, Reply)

@Stig
Is that looking out of the window at, or seriously considering the purchase of, the Caddy? :)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:53, Reply)

@K26k
I mean seriously considering. the choices so far (if I can get another job and keep my redundancy money):

Toyota Auris T-spirit (favourite choice)
Cadillac CTS
Second hand Jaguar XK
Honda Accord
(The Stig, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:55, Reply)

*keeps lips firmly shut*
:)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Morning all!
Today's highlights are likely to be nomming the steak and ale pie I made with my daughter at the weekend, then going home and baking white chocolate and raspberry muffins, then picking up a few stars on Mario Galaxy.

Work is DEAD today :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:59, Reply)

Actually, rubberduck
I'd like to hear what you have to say on the subject, being more in the know than the rest of us.

Edit - Morning, N03l.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 8:59, Reply)

@Rubberduck
Come on....you know you want to vent your spleen! :O) Tell me what you think....

Then, we'll end this episode of "Top Gear"!

@N03L

Hello, there! :O)
(The Stig, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:00, Reply)

*bows*
Car talk eh? :)

I hitch-hike, me.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:04, Reply)

Morning all,
I'm pretty sure this week is going to be very very dull.

Entertain me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:12, Reply)

Since you asked...
Bear in mind that this is just my personal opinion...

Japanese cars don't do anything for me. The sports cars are interesting, but the saloons and hatches leave me cold.

They're very comptetent, but completely soulless. The Auris is a case in point - I couldn't find any major reasons to fault it, but at the same time I couldn't find any reason to like it. To drive it is to feel the icy hand of death upon you - it's almost like it was designed with an enlarged prostate. On reflection, I'd get more excited buying a new toothbrush than I would buying an Auris. I just wouldn't be able to live with that on a day-to-day basis. The simple fact of the matter is that a Focus is a much better car too.

The Cadillac looks interesting. I've driven a CTS-V and it was a giggle. I'm not a fan of its looks mind, and I'd have niggling doubts about the long term build quality and residuals. The CTS I drove already had bits of interior trim going astray - but granted, it had already had a hard life.

I know it probably seems odd for me to say this too, but I'd steer clear of the old XK too if you can. It's essentially a 1970s XJS under the skin, and it's got far too many compromises to live with as a daily driver. I seriously looked at one when I bought my S-Type, but it honestly is a car from another era. The new one is full of several kinds of win though :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:15, Reply)

*pokes Lab with sticks*
Well it's entertaining me at least :p

I am in a VERY good mood today *glees*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:18, Reply)

Morning Lab, TGB
So what is the reason for your good mood this morning, TGB?

Teh sex, perhaps?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:19, Reply)

Morning Lab & TGB
Why are you in a good mood TGB?

If the sky in Leamington is anything like the sky in Gaydon, it looks like the world's about to end and it's sucking away my enthusiasm.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:19, Reply)

Probably heading home, I think
Good morning everyone, incidentally. That rum last night was a mistake!

*rubs head*
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:20, Reply)

Morniiiiing
How's it going?

I got bugger all sleep last night so I'm a touch cranky. Also just discovered a nice big leak in the ceiling of the shop this morning, woohoo.

Good weekends?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:20, Reply)

Hey Duckie and k2 and Batman!
Erm... it's not really anything you as men would appreciate. Let's just leave it at that :p

The Leamington sky is very grey though, not quite end of the world-esq though :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:23, Reply)

Morning all
I second rubberduck's question. Why the gleeful mood TGB?

The weekend was pretty good for me. Took the boy to see his first football match on Saturday - Aldershot vs Brentford - which he enjoyed and was a suprisingly good game as well so I was quite chuffed by that.

Back to another bog standard Monday now though. Still, there's always caffiene and nicotine to see me through!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:24, Reply)

scrapyard has the quarter light I need
so going to get it will be the highlight of my day. Installing it will also be fun, where "fun" means "a bollix".

As you were. Fluffeh kittens etc.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Ningles
to all.

I am looking forward to lunchtime, although I might buy a flapjack in the meantime. I.E. now.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:26, Reply)

Morning TGB
Al, was it the episode with the kids in the gas masks? That gave me nightmares for weeks.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:26, Reply)

@Al
What episode of Doctor Who?

The highlights of my day are 1) I've only just woken up. 2) I've just phoned to confirm my attendance at two interviews this week.


Don't forget that the Charlie Brooker Zombies take Big Brother starts tonight on E4.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:26, Reply)

@TGB
Hmm, is it your anti-period? The three or four days of the month where you are unreasonably jovial?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:26, Reply)

Hmm
It's actually the opposite Lab

And I am always unreasonably jovial *dances* Except at Christmas *humbugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:30, Reply)

@CHCB
Is it a rubber seal on your quarterlight or one of those new bonded efforts? The rubber seal one should be OK (all right, a bollix) but if it's bonded I wouldn't attempt a DIY job.

Edit@TGB - You're dead chuffed because Liverpool's playing at home? Hmm.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:30, Reply)

@ Lab
Should that not be "comparatively reasonably jovial"?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:31, Reply)

@K2k6
rubber seal. The Haynes Book of Lies tells me it's a 4-spanner job. I've never tackled more than a 2 or 3 spanner job before but that extra level of difficulty doesn't faze me (yet).
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:31, Reply)

Al that episode is awesome!
Hey Mrs L yay on two job interviews :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:32, Reply)

@Al
Is that the Sally Sparrow episode then? I enjoyed that. Especially the humorous little bit at the end where the Doctor and Martha appear out of context in a 2008 street!

Edit@CHCB - I've done 4 spanner jobs (mostly suspension work) which were less hassle than 2 spanner ones. But in this case I suspect it's because you're likely to break the glass, rather than anything else.

Good luck!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:32, Reply)

TGB
Add 'hungover' and 'tired' to the list of times when you're not jovial.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:33, Reply)

I was jovial then....
just asleep and jovial...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:34, Reply)

@Al
Blink FTW. Charlie Brooker said this weekend in the Grauniad that that was one of the best bits of horror writing that we have seen on TV in years and I agree.
When we watched that first time I declared it to be the best ever Doctor Who story. I stand by that.

*edit* bath time! Speak later.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:35, Reply)

Especially with all the food!
Pfft. Asleep and jovial, even when Lab and Kaol were slaughtering Aliens.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:37, Reply)

Monring
Hope everyone is pretty good this morning and had a decent weekend?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)

Yeah
well I missed that being asleep and all, but the noises were very soothing to drift off to...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)

I have to go to a meeting
and it's a 15 minute walk away. But I just looked out of the window and it's a beautiful sunny day now.

Result!


Laters, people.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)

Hi himjim!
We broke TGB the following evening, no other explanation.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:41, Reply)

I'm pleased
she made it to the gig!
I wasn't sure if anyone would turn up in the end.

Were you not broken on that Sunday?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:43, Reply)

I was a little broken already :p
Having to spend time with you people pushed me over the edge
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Himjim
I was feeling fine and dandy, until I got home. I had a list of stuff to do, but somehow my bed ambushed me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:47, Reply)

Al
That is exactly what happened! I only woke up when TGB called me to ask if I was coming to the gig. I tried to wake up, but after 30 mins decided i was in no fit state to drive :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:50, Reply)

Morning!
The highlight of my day will be sending off my job contract signed and sealed and then sending off the relevant paperwork to the Job Centre!
Today I am also enquiring at the gym about inductions as mum and I have decided to join up AND I'm making a quiche for tea tonight.

A Day of Teh Win.

Hello everyone btw.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:51, Reply)

And
Not only did I make it to the gig but I kicked your ass at Pool jim. Ha!

Also I don't like the idea of breaking me in a boncrunching way either :(

Well done Lucy *breaks open champagne*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Congratulations LvP!
Well done of the job!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:52, Reply)

ThanksAl and LabM!
It's here in Wiltshire working for a mobile phone company for their corporate customers.
Doesn't use my languages AT ALL but there is good chance of progression so I'm going to try and work my little bottom off until I can apply for some of the roles based in London.
It's a long way to go about getting a job but what with unemployment rising it seemed sensible to get into a company whilst I can.
Also I can save and get out of my overdraft whilst living at home!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:54, Reply)

This is going to be a difficult day...
None of our computers are working, and people are starting to complain. Arse.

/Edit

Congratulations LvP! May your day be better than mine.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 9:59, Reply)

@ piston
I'm sure they are all working, just not in the way you want them to :P
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Well "they" say
it is always easier to find work when you are in work :)

Argh my boss just pointed to the scratch I have running down the back of my wrist and said "You *are* the worse Emo ever, supposed to go on the other side"

:(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:02, Reply)

TGB
A clicky for your boss!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

I feel awful this morning
I was blissfully asleep at seven when my phone rang.

"Blurgh... Whaaaa?"

"Kaol, we need you to pick someone up from the station."

"Whaaa? I'm asleep..."

"They're at the station now, off you go."

*hangs up*


And that, dear OTards, is how I've managed to have odd shoes on today.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

*points at odd shoes*
*laughs* You look special

*hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)

Poor Kaol!
How odd are we talking? Like, two different black work shoes, or one cowboy boot and one flipflop?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Congrats LvP
Glad to hear the good news about the job.

And lmao at Kaol's odd shoes!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)

One black slip-on shoe
With skulls on it, and one black lace-up trainer.

I'd pretty much get away with it, just a shame I've got a meeting later...
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)

@ Ethel
No, they just aren't working, which is a bugger!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Oh kaol
That is a special thing to do.
I take it you're not a morning person then?!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)

@ piston
Power cut?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Just signing in
To say that I'm all good after the Bash, Sunday was a bich, up at seven and a bloody busy day.

This week I'll be mostly working as I've just had a shed load od work dumped on me.

I'll see ya all soon.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Kaol
did you not think it strange you only had to lace up one shoe?

Muppet :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:12, Reply)

I didn't bother lacing it up...
LvP, as you might have guessed, I'm really not a morning person.

Plus I'm still not 100% recovered from the bash :(
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:13, Reply)

Morning Folks
I am a bit rough, having got stupidly drunk on the train on the way home from London.

Ah well, it was worth it!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:14, Reply)

BK
you dirty alcoholic :p

*hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:18, Reply)

morning you sexual faced bunch of lullys.
The boss is back in after 2 weeks off.
BOOOOOOO.

In other news, I have a cup of tea so all is well.
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)

*hugs TGB*
I'm a clean alcoholic thank you very much!

This gave me first office lol of the day
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/un-split-over-outdoor-humping-200810171331/

Haha!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)

@ Ethel
Firewall problem. Mind you, not as bad as a colleague's kids- their school has burned down.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)

tag humping!
haha
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Morning
I found my iPod that I thought I'd lost after the bash!

And I feel human again today.

Morning all.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:26, Reply)

Tag Humping
Now I have images of the Legion of Doom being tagged into a hump-fest...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:26, Reply)

Tag-humping...
Brings a whole new meaning to double-teaming someone I think.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:30, Reply)

@ P_B
Double teaming eh?

*remembers Saturday night*

Hiya Lusty!
*facenom*

*edit*
How do scarpe!

Christ, you were hammered!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:39, Reply)

I think scarpe
was the only person more drunk than me.
Good work Sir!
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)

Hmm
I was just made redundant.

That's a slight downer on my day
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)

@ Lusty
I think he was;)

My fault for assuming you were drinking at the same pace as me!

*edit* @ TGB
That sucks! *hugs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)

Um...yes...I think
I was actually the drunkest person in the entire world on Saturday night.

I did it just to stop you feeling bad, Lusty. And not because I am a raging lush.

Edit: TGB, that's shitty, so sorry to hear that.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

@ TGB
*Hugs*

That sucks major league balls lassy, you got anything lined up?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

*huge hugs for TGB*
Shit hon, that's terrible :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Oh cockends GB
That sucks likes a $2 whore.

Are you entitled to a redundancy package?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:47, Reply)

*hands TGB cakes*
Bad news :(

/relurks
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:49, Reply)

Hugs TGB
That sucks, sorry.

Damn this crazy economic downturn!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:51, Reply)

*sweeps in*
Badger. What can I say?
*hugs hard*

To the rest of you unshaven tramps, morning.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)

TGB
That's shit news. You OK?

*proffers bottles of wine and Lost DVDs*

*hugs*

Edit: Clenders. I'm only a half-shaven tramp I'll have you know. I got distracted by my phone this morning as I was shaving and kind of forgot to do the other half of it. I look even more odd than I normally do...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:52, Reply)

Clenders
Hey! I'll have you know I'm no tramp!

You got me on the unshaven thing though...

*slides a six pack of Strongbow over to TGB*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:53, Reply)

TGB
Oh my, that's bad news.
*hugs*
*sweets*
*gin*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)

*kisses Labs on the cheek*
Yep, unshaven. Nice though.

Morning Al! Didn't see you there. I'm good thanks - how are you? Behaving yourself?
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:55, Reply)

Drixy
Hi lovey one.

Yes I forgot how to use the phone I've only had for a week on Saturday night.

Glad you two got home ok.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Good mornings all
I hope you enjoyed your Muesli at breakfast, you bunch if hippies.

@TGB OH NOES. Speaking as a person who was made redundant quite recently I'd have to give you this advice;

Don't register with Recruitment Agencies.
If you're unemployed for a while don't expect to have your Job Seekers Allowance organised in less than a month.
The Job Centre are a useless bunch of cunts.
Apply for every job you possibly can, by yourself, don't go through anyone else.

Good luck!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)

I'm afraid that the
Unshaven thing is true.
And I've wearing odd shoes.

So yeah... Ten tramp-points to me.

On a tramp-related note, I just read this on the QOTW.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)

*swoons at clendrix*
Bert, I have to agree about recruitment consultants, they are liars and whores.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:59, Reply)

Hello, Lovely Dok!
The text you sent Wookiee while we were on our way home was wonderful - you were too drunk to actually type any words into it and Wookiee was too drunk to have read it anyway. Marvellous.

Took us a while to get home, but we made it.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:00, Reply)

Thanks guys :)
They said I didn't have to stay the rest of the day so I am off.

Will catch up will you all later
x
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:01, Reply)

Shit GB
As quick as that.

BIG HUGS.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:02, Reply)

Hey clenders!
*flex*

I'm sure virtual flexes just aren't the same any more after Saturday!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:02, Reply)

Bye, Badger, sweetheart.

BK, I have to say that squeezing a real-life flex was very exciting indeed!
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Oh no sorry
bit spaced right now.

I get a month but they said I could go early today if I liked
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)

Badger
Definitely go home, or somewhere else. Clear your head a bit.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:04, Reply)

Go home
When I worked for Boots they made a load of people redundant. People were working on the till, they'd be called into the managers office, told the news and then expected to carry on working!

Take the time.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Hi al!!
*waves Fran, tickly*

How are you doing, you big northern/southern, hairy testicle-surfer?

*snogs*

EDIT @TGB at least you get to stay in the job for a month, don't work too hard though, spend all of your time searching for other jobs and stealing as much stationery as you can fit into an over-sized handbag.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)

I've got a meeting in a bit
Rubbish...
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:08, Reply)

@Kaol
Whenever we have management meetings here, they put MAN MEET in the diary.

It gives me the proper HORN.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:11, Reply)

I put my man meat
In a diary once.

Paper cuts are terrible things.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)

I think....
I've actually turned up to work pissed. This is indeed an odd experience.

/Edit

I once had the dubious pleasure of speaking to a lady by the name of Manmeet once. A rather unfortunate name there, I think.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:17, Reply)

I want some man meat!
*sulks*
*goes out for smoke*
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:18, Reply)

You should've been there on Saturday...
It was like the Last Days Of Rome.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:22, Reply)

God its a slow day
I don't think I'm fully recovered after all.

And I needs some fags.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)

OMG
Saturday.

Don't.

*ashamed*
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:24, Reply)

*ears prick up*
Really Kaol?

Mind you, I'm about as horny as, erm, *thinks* a rhino who's not as fast as an ivory poacher.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:25, Reply)

@Clen...
...wait, what did I miss?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:25, Reply)

Yeah...
The last days of Rome were, to be fair, lots of burning, killing and looting.

So it wasn't quite like that...
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:27, Reply)

I'm not saying anything.
I've discussed my bad behaviour with the person involved.

He didn't seem to mind.

He could barely remember :)

BTW, Hello Scarpe! You get ten out of ten for entertainment and comedy value.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:28, Reply)

*blush*
I'm not sure that's a good thing...

I need another bash so I can get my humiliation out of my system. Or at least to prove that I can hold my drink somewhat.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:33, Reply)

I want to see
Scarpe's photos.

I reckon they'd look like some sort of modern art.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:33, Reply)

I'll do the photos...
...tomorrow. Won't be home until about 1am tonight so won't get a chance.

They actually came out surprisingly well.

A couple of that later ones are a tad blurry admittedly...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:35, Reply)

I want to see the one he took
of wookiee and me the wall above our heads.

Scarpe - don't worry! You were a perfect b3tan and we look forward to seeing you at the next bash.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:35, Reply)

Photos!
I demand them!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)

Sounds like I missed a blinder of a bash
Oh well, there is always Edinbash to look forward to.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Edinburgh will be carnage.
I'm already on the waiting list for a new liver.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)

Drixy
It was Wookie wasn't it! You took advantage of him in his weakened state!

Bad Drixy, no biscuits!


;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)

*wanders back*
So what have I missed?

Bugger me, TGB's lost her job since this morning. That is not good.

*enhuggles TGB*

At least it's not all bad news though.

*chuckles at Kaol's odd-shoe-ness*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)

Edinburger
I'm on board for the bash! I expect best behaviour from everyone.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:43, Reply)

It wasn't Wookiee!
Poor chap - I wouldn't do that to him.

*tickles Al in a naughty place*
*runs away*
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:43, Reply)

I am
tempted with Edinbash, but its only a few days prior to my charity event, so I need to make sure everything is ready for that first.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:44, Reply)

All's well then
You can have some biscuits.

I never thought you would anyway!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:44, Reply)

Hello folks…

Last night my mate informed me that I was invited to a ‘Premature Ejaculator’s Ball’…

I asked him what the dress-code was…he said: “Just come in your pants”…


\coat
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:45, Reply)

Wookiee and I are firmly in the Friendship Zone.
We agreed on Saturday that we like it there and sealed it with a friendly hug.
:)
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Lovely Drixy
That's all fluffeh and kyoot!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:50, Reply)

Oi Poof
Your joke got mixed results.

Varying from "Oh God, that is corny" to "pmsl"
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)

It was!
*giggles*
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)

@ al
Nope, it wasn't me!

I did lie on the ground while she rubbed my tummy though.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:52, Reply)

Oh yes!
I rubbed your tummy! It was fun.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:53, Reply)

This is going to be a very interesting bash
Are any of you lot going to the Christmas bash in London? I shall be there... if I remember to book a hotel, that is.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Hmmm...
My meeting seems not to be happening.

*sips coffee*

Sod 'em!
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)

I'm at my friends
drinking tea now. I'm not going in tomorrow either.

I am going to see the nice pertemps people later though :)

*reads topic* Man meat you say?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)

Man meat!
Hahaha!

Er... I've got my meeting now. Balls.
Bye!
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:57, Reply)

That Christmas Bash is massive!
And I don't really know anyone.

I wonder if we should have another one...
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)

Yeah, I don't recognise most of the
Christmas bash names.

And I can't make 28th November either, as I have a wedding the next day.

Speaking of which, I have a nasty habit of asking people to marry me when I'm drunk, so if I did that to anyone on Saturday, I am truly sorry.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:00, Reply)

But scarpe...
I thought you were serious.

I'd booked a church and everything.

*cries*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:01, Reply)

'@ scarpe
Don't worry; I let you down gently!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Sorry Scarpe...
You promised.
You're my wife now.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Won't be too much of a bother if enough of you turn up, of course
But I might be attending Becky's birthday bash as well, if you lot are ok with that, of course.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:02, Reply)

I wasn't asked.
*remains on shelf*

Piston, what do you mean? Of course it's OK and there's no one who decides who does and doesn't come - not even self appointed Kings of B3ta...
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)

I also
Might make it down for Becky's birthday do, depends entirely on work, travel to london, and wereabouts it is (so i can book a nearby hotel!)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:05, Reply)

@al
Why nervous about christmas day? Are you going to be asking someone something important?
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:07, Reply)

*slap*
Calm down Al there is no need to get all in a panic again is there!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:07, Reply)

It'd be great if Becky's do was
in the Yorkshire Grey again.

That was a fantastic place, even though someone (Bill?) gave some fags to the trick or treat kids.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Hey all
It's my lunchtime return to my flat. I love it.

Are we all well? Anything interesting been happening?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Yeah, it was bill...
I nearly did, then told him, and he did it.

EDIT: My "Meeting" consisted of showing the guy from reception to the Chairman's office.
*shakes head*
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:09, Reply)

He didn't!
That's fucking funny shocking.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:11, Reply)

Clendrix, he did!
He gave a cigarette to a 6 or 7 year-old kid...

Who then looked at it, and threw it on the floor.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:13, Reply)

Bah humbug
Kids trick-or-treating already? If they come 'round my house demanding sweets before the 31st, I treat their actions as an attempt on my life and react with 'necessary force'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Had that 6 or 7 year old kid
been half savvy, he'd have sold the fag to someone for a small profit.

Honestly, kids these days....
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Did Bill pick it up again?

( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:17, Reply)

I'm really tempted to make
Some sweets with the insane Mexican chilli-sauce I've got.

T'would be amazing :D
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:17, Reply)

Were the kids there before I arrived?
I could have given them some of my tasty treats to nibble on.
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:19, Reply)

Lusty!
*drools*
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:21, Reply)

Your treats were amazing, my dear
Although I felt slightly awkward running my tongue over them while BK looked on.
*coughs*

I think it's fair to say I was "twatted" that night.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:21, Reply)

I find it best to check things before appearing...
It's a thing of mine.

/Edit

What the fuck?? Seems I did indeed miss one hell of a bash.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:21, Reply)

I don't remember any children
luckily for them

Was this earlier in the evening?
When did we arrive?

*shrugs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:22, Reply)

Christmas Bash!
I've stuck something on the calendar for Dec 20th just to see if anyone's interested and will be around...
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:24, Reply)

@ PB
I'll give you a full briefing on Friday evening!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:27, Reply)

@kaol
I wouldn't worry. I'm sure BK enjoyed watching you put my treats in your mouth.
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:27, Reply)

@Kaol/lusty
You know the rule...pictures or it didn't happen!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:29, Reply)

Seeing this talk of trick-or-treaters
has given me a flashback.

Has anyone got any advice/designs/suggestions for pumpkin carving? I may have drunkenly proclaimed I was the greatest pumpkin carver in the world ever at the weekend and a competition has now been set up.


I've never carved a pumpkin in my life =|
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:29, Reply)

@ Lusty
It was certainly arousing, yes!

I was surprised I was able to be aroused at all really, considering the lots of cider/ not much food situation.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:29, Reply)

*stumbles into thread*
noon all

Here briefly - how is everyone?

I'm having to fight for the computer - damn school holidays and damn the borked laptop!

edit: It's my b3ta birthday - form an orderly queue to bestow birthday kisses ...

*puckers*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)

@ BK
I'm assuming you guys are referring to some kind of baked goods as opposed to say, anything else?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)

Pirate Monkey,
That's the funniest thing that I've read all day!

Er... If you need info about cutting stuff, I'm your man :D
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:31, Reply)

@TWW
*bestows B3ta day kiss*
Happy B3taday!

@PB
You assume correctly, I think.
All three of us were fairly drunk.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:33, Reply)

Pirate Monkey
buy an ice cream scoop - really good for getting the innards out of the pumpkin. And draw the face on with felt pen before cutting
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:34, Reply)

I carved a pumpkin once
It had a face on either side, one smiley and one very evil.

The inside of the lid started burning when I lit the candle inside it. Looked awesome though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Happy Birthday, Witchy!
Yay!

Kaol, I've never seen you as naughty as you were on Saturday night.




It was fun
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Happy Birthday TWW!
And seeing as you'll understand it, here's a crap joke for you:

An Edinburgh paedophile goes up to a little girl in the street, and says, "You'll have had your sweeties."

/coat
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Hi TWW!
*delivers gentlemanly 'b3ta-birthday' kiss*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:35, Reply)

K2k6
yes, thanks for that ...... I think

Mind you, in certain parts of Edinburgh, sex is what you put the rubbish in (imagine it said in a Morningside accent).

edit: where's my birthday kiss???
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:37, Reply)

*Hugs & Kisses*
Happy B3taday Witchy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:38, Reply)

Happy B3ta-Day Mrs. Witch!
*kisses on cheek*

I've got a massive craving for Lemon Chicken.
What the hell?
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:38, Reply)

Kaol
you're pregnant. Can I be your press agent (I'll be your birth partner as well if you like. It's not that hard, really...)

al, I thought that was our secret?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:41, Reply)

*kisses TWW*
*sings happy birthday*

*offers cake*
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:41, Reply)

*runs in*
Happy Birthday TWW *kisses*

*runs out again*
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:42, Reply)

*gives TWW big sloppy kiss*
Sorry, forgot earlier. Hope HLT didn't see that - it's Monday...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:42, Reply)

:|
That's exactly what the guy that I work with said.
Fuccccccck!

*grabs knife*

One easy way to work it out...
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:42, Reply)

*grabs cake from lusty*
thanks honey.

nom nom

Kaol, don't do that. We can make a fortune. I'll teach you how to change nappies.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:44, Reply)

Happy B3taday TWW!
*birthday kisses*

Are you well in fair Embra?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:45, Reply)

Hmmm...
A fortune eh?

Ok.

I'm not stopping smoking or drinking though.
And I don't like vomiting, so pass the Thalidamide.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:45, Reply)

PoD
thanks. All well in Edinburgh, 'cept our laptop is borked, so the kids are fighting me for the PC. Damn school holidays!

Kaol, don't worry - the teenage mothers seem to get away with smoking & drinking. You might not puke - I didn't get sick with either of mine.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:47, Reply)

Well,
You get more money for a freak-child.
And increase the chances of Super-Powers if you hit their DNA early.

Where's that Polonium?
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:50, Reply)

Bill! Cigarettes
I'd forgotten all about that. Hilarious.

I've just been for a lunchtime walk and returned to the scene of the crime. That alleyway looks sad and forlorn without all you lovely people filling it up. Seeing it made me want to do it all over again this weekend.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:50, Reply)

What's wrong with the laptop?
Anything easily fixable?

Lunchtime!! Lunchtime means toasty time. Yays.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:51, Reply)

PoD
no idea - a weird message comes up at startup. I need to phone Dell 'cos it's still under warranty. We tried the stuff it suggested but no luck. Hey - might get a new one if it's totally f**ked.

Kaol, if you overdo the beta-carotene, you could produce an orange child. That might be worth a few quid in the Daily Star ...
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:55, Reply)

Fair enough
Under warranty is always good. I still tend to just try and fix stuff myself though.

*is such a man*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 12:56, Reply)

@Theweewitch
Orange children is old news. I mean, no-one pays for pictures of Judith Chalmers or David Dickinson, do they.....?
(The Stig, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:00, Reply)

PoD
I'm such a girly I don't even try. I just phone someone cleverer than me and say 'hayelp'. In a girly voice, obviously.

edit: Stig, yes, but orange at birth?. That would be different ....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:00, Reply)

Witchy
Kick the little darlings out to play. It's what happened to us when we were young.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:01, Reply)

Dok
I will, as soon as the rain stops. I'm not that cruel. Not quite ....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:02, Reply)

As my mum alsways told me.
A little rain never killed anyone.

When I grew up I found out just how wrong that is.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:04, Reply)

Lunchtime!
Bye!

I'm going to get lemon chicken, somehow.
Even if I have to get a pigeon and a lime, and pretend hard.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:05, Reply)

I think
That's what some chinese restaurants use anyway, Kaol.

Just give them an umbrella. Or a gazebo.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:07, Reply)

Afternoon all
Just spoken to the teacher I am covering for in the afternoon. What I do in the afternoon is up to me.

Oh dear.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:07, Reply)

Dok
yeah, but then I have to deal with not just dirty clothes, but wet dirty clothes. Not fun.

Anyway, have to surrender the PC for a while and go and make lunch. Hopefully I'll be back later.

*kisses*

*waves*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Quiet time!!
Have lots of the quiet time!! Always goes down well. Just make them read or something.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Noon all.
I see it's the usual mixed bag here of sublime drunkenness, surrealism and terrible news...

*hugs TGB*

And punkins you say?

*pimps*



That's my ex. I did that last year. Carven by my own fair hand. This year I may do the same thing, but without the punkin.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:18, Reply)

@ Fuzzy
That's awesome!

How did you do that?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:19, Reply)

Afternoon.
what appning!


@WFF - your a talented little bugger aren't you.
( girlinthehole, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:20, Reply)

My god
warmfuzzyfeeling - your ex has exactly the same hair/beard colour issues as me.

*happier, knowing he's not such a freak of nature now*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:21, Reply)

ningles all!
I hear I missed a wizzy jolly bashtime this weekend... was it good?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:23, Reply)

HLT
Art thou well this fine afternoon?

Awesome pumpkin fuzzy.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:25, Reply)

@ Tulip
Bloody awesome!

*huggles*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:25, Reply)

am tops ta Penguin
how is your good self?

@beekers - no need to rub it in mate...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:27, Reply)

@ HLT
Apparently we missed one hell of a bash. You reckon you will be able to make it this Friday?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:28, Reply)

Very talented WFF!
Is that your ex from your QOTW stories?

If so, I'll happily provide you with a water-tight alibi while you go a-carvin'!

Edit: And hello HLT! I missed the bash too :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:28, Reply)

Am not too bads
Just been working away, and trying to get free drums :)

Back in uni for a couple of hours this afternoon. Should be fun.

All well on the easy coast?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Yay fuzzy hugs *hugs*
I am remarkably upbeat still. Maybe because I hae smoked about 7 cigarettes in 30 minutes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Afternoon, Miss Tulip
How do?

@Fuzzy - top carving skills there!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:31, Reply)

The punkin
wasn't that difficult... just got the photo on the laptop and altered the contrast and stuff until it was easy to trace on to paper where to cut right through and where to cut just the skin (to get the 3D look). Then put the paper on the punkin and marked out the outlines. It looked crap til I put the candle in it and lit it, then we were most flabbergasted by how awesome it looked.

Ducky - he did it like that on purpose. When his 11 year old son saw it he laughed uncontrollably. It did look good though... goddammit. Is it wrong to want to kill someone and sex them at the same time?

EDIT: I just read your post properly Ducky. He didn;t do the colour on purpose. He's stuck with that.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:32, Reply)

Hey TGB
Many hugs to you.

*many hugs*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:34, Reply)

@ piston
Sorry darling, I am a poor norphan this week so am afraid not.

*cries*

I'll be there in spirit though...

edit@k2k6 - don't think you can get round me like that. I saw you and Miss Witch earlier. On a Monday of all days!

*flounces*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:35, Reply)

haha
I read that as "manly" I was about to tell you to give me big soppy girly hugs
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:35, Reply)

You can have whatever hugs you want
Have you seen all these new additions to the Embra bash, hlt?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:37, Reply)

@ GB
*Big soppy girly hugs*

*edit* for comedy spelling!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:38, Reply)

@ Lab
It's not Control Freak ex, it's the one after that who says he's going to marry me. At the moment I am wondering how sincere he is, as he is off having jollies with other ladies. He did say he would be thinking of me though, and that he would not be honest with his unfortunate conquests about his true long term intentions... but I'm right aren't I, that still sucks? And besides if he's capable of lying to them how do I know he's being honest with me?

Grr.

Sorry. This has been occupying my thoughts a great deal. I had bad dreams about him last night too.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:39, Reply)

Mrs LIAB
I'm going to assume you had typed "soapy" instead of "soppy". And no one is going to take that mental image away from me!

Edit: Fuzzy, that's pretty fucked up of him, if you'll pardon me saying so. In my opinion, you're right.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:40, Reply)

@ Lab
I think you and Al need to talk!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:41, Reply)

haha
Thanks Mrs L

And fuzzy he sounds a little bit of a twat. Sorry.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:42, Reply)

*checks calendar*
bloody hell!!

*excites*

@WFF - aw missis. that sucks. if he's lying to them then yes, he probably is lying to you too. ditch him and carve a pumpkin.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:43, Reply)

@ HLT
Crying shame madame.

@ Fuzzy

Move on lass, you'll feel better for it.

*Hugs*
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:46, Reply)

I'm back!
It's piddling down with rain here. :(
Makes me want to curl up in bed. I may well do that later.

In other news, I had a yummy yellow belly snake sweetie earlier. nom.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:46, Reply)

Thanks guys...
I guess I just woke up and realised I deserve better. It still hurts though.

Anyway... am trying to put him out of my mind.

*changes subject*
I have to get focussed on applying for a job I really, really, really want today. And looking presentable so I can drop the form off in person.

Helloes to all I didn't greet as I was too busy being emo *waves*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:47, Reply)

The talk
had turned to soapyness Al.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:47, Reply)

It;s stopped raining here hurrah!
I am going to skip into town soon and the director of my soon-to-be-ex work has sent me details of a job that may be going. It is in Leicester though :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:48, Reply)

@HLT
It's TWW's b3taday, honest! It meant nothing....

You weren't around, and it was only a sloppy kisswee peck on the cheek!

*digs hole*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:49, Reply)

Welcome back LvP!
Fuzzy, we're all allowed emo moments, and your situation does sound pretty stressful and hurtful :(

Best of luck with the job!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:51, Reply)

Hey Lucy *hugs*
Pity you weren't there Saturday! It was awesome!

@Tulip
What are you getting excited on the calendar?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:53, Reply)

Fuzzy
Good luck handing the form in. I find a friendly smile and cheeky flash of nipple always helps.

Hello LabM. How are you this crappy ol' monday afternoon?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:54, Reply)

Ladies and Gentlemen
I, the now self-proclaimed King of the OT Lurkers, have had possibly the busiest, most stressful, nightmarish morning of my life at work. So I now call upon you people to tell me things which have made you happy today as I need cheering up and relaxing. Please feel free to reply here or PM me but please help, for if I am not cheered up immediately, I may well do something drastic.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:55, Reply)

"Is it wrong to want to kill someone and sex them at the same time?"
I've never thought so, no...
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:57, Reply)

Kroney
I am sure I can top your awful morning at work :p

But if you need cheering up... erm... *dances whilst juggling kittens*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:57, Reply)

@k2k6
well all right. since I wasn't here and everything.

*thaws impercetibly*

Why are you full of happy? Have nice things happened? do tell!

@beekers - am excited cos it's going to be the biggest bestest bashiest bash ever and it's in Scotland so it will win over all the silly southern bashes SO NER
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:58, Reply)

TGB
I'd welcome redundancy at the moment :P Sorry to hear about yours, though.

Poor kittens :(
( Kroney, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:00, Reply)

LvP
Well, I'm working in a room filled with computers, which has barred windows with the blinds closed. All too close to my right is a man who smokes 20 a day, and coughs like he's about to lose a lung. Shame, he's a charming guy.

In other words, I'm clock-watching today!

Still, this week is starting better than last week, which involved consoling my ex (death in the family), consoling a friend (relationship stuff), wasting a day in Basildon (court), and working my arse off to meet unrealistic deadlines.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:00, Reply)

they are just stuffed toys
I am allergic to real kittens
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:00, Reply)

HLT
Its only full of Teh Win as us southerners are making the effort to visit :P
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)

I'll be there.
Instant win.
Fact.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:02, Reply)

@ Tulip
Obviously, my presence is going to push it from the 'merely great' to the 'flat out awesome'!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:05, Reply)

LVP
Got one of her puppies out for me. I am now feeling much better.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:09, Reply)

@ Kaol
Not all of us require weaponry to create a sense of fear among bash participants.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:09, Reply)

Fear?
I wasn't trying to cause fear :(
Did I?
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:10, Reply)

Meh
Now I must bid farewell and return to uni for a fun filled lecture. It would be fine if it wasn't doing much of the raining.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:10, Reply)

@HLT
You've got gazmail.

@Kaol - there's going to be a lot of awesomeness at the Edinbash.

*takes awesomeness awareness classes*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:12, Reply)

My plans re the Scottish bash will have to be a bit last minute.
I hope I can get somewhere to stay.

I'll sleep on a park bench if I have to. I hear the vagrant look is coming back in fashion.
( girlinthehole, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:12, Reply)

Things to make you happy....
Be thankful that the hangover from last night's rum hasn't just kicked in?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:13, Reply)

I did
And I was proud of it.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:13, Reply)

@ Beekers
Oh, obviously!

It'll be full of win whatever.

AND now that my house is sold, any spare cash I can squirrel away will be spent on attending a southern bash!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Just signed up for Edinburgh
It seems so far away though :( Still, looks like I'll get to meet a load of you fine b3ta folk!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:22, Reply)

how did you sign up for it?
I can't even see it on the Calendar :(

*cries*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:28, Reply)

I knocked it off the front page with my Bash!
You'll have to go to 'April'.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:29, Reply)

@ Him'll Jim it
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/14949
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:29, Reply)

himjim
Or go to HLTs profile, there's a link there.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:30, Reply)

I won't be going to the Edinbash
I know you'll all be crushingly disappointed, but I felt the need to assert myself.

Carry on about your business.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:30, Reply)

Just signed up!
Tanks for all the help!

Abrams or Chieftans?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:32, Reply)

Kroney
Will you ever come to any bash?
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:32, Reply)

@clendrix
possibly. I am being gently persuaded by the hints and rumours of sexual permissiveness and knife orgies.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Kroney
Hints?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)

@ Kroney
You'll have to put out for the first couple of bashes, but after that, we'll let you give as well as receive.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Unless you'd like to carry on receiving...
That's fine too.



Well, I think so anyway.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:43, Reply)

@Ethelred
No one told me about that for the Leam minibashes! That must be why folk were eyeing me up with that hungry look in their eyes...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:43, Reply)

blimey!
*buys nice pance*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Noon'
So on my way out to a meeting with the bank some junkie cunt tried to mug me whilst walking down the lane behind my work. In broad fucking day light. Fucking arsehole. I couldn't believe it. That's fucked me off no end.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)

Batman!
Are you OK? Did he get anything?
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:48, Reply)

@ al
thought so.

@ batman - bloody hell! Are you all right?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:50, Reply)

HCFB
Jesus! Are you ok?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:51, Reply)

Christ man, you ok?
Nothing stolen, I hope.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:52, Reply)

@ Batman
Were you wearing a kilt?

Why that would have relevance I have no idea!

Hope you're ok dude!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)

HCFB
Did you give him a Highland Fling over a wall
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)

Nopehe didn't get anything, and I'm fine
but he managed to crack me on my nose so my shirt is sporting a rather nice splodge of blood. Plus my hand is a bit sore up as I hit the back of his head. The police turned up 20 minutes later and admitted they had no chance of catching of him and next time I shouldn't retaliate. So top tip from the police, if you're getting mugged, don't fight back.

EDIT Thanks guys. BK I wasn't wearing a kilt I'm afraid. New suit though which has a nice rip down the back.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:54, Reply)

*cuddles batman*
*cuddles again*
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:56, Reply)

HCFB
That sucks. Thats what I don't like about police intervention, or the lack of it.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:56, Reply)

Oh NOES!
*ensnuggles batman til he feels better*

*soothes by doing nice things*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:58, Reply)

Bloody Hell Batman
Glad you're OK, What's the world coming to?

On a lighter note.

That's the Glasgow I remember!

EDIT Or are you still in Aberdeen?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 14:59, Reply)

I want to hug Batman
but I'm scared I might hurt his mugged bits. So,

*squeezes Batman's bum*
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:01, Reply)

@HCFB
That's a pish thing to happen. One of my mates was mugged on campus a few years back and ended up with a face full of boot and a broken collarbone.

And no wallet.

It's a natural reaction to retaliate though. And who knows, you may have been able to mangle him to a pulp. Which would have been what he deserved.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:03, Reply)

Heh thanks guys
I'm alright, just having that come down after a sudden rush of adrenaline. One of the guys who works near by heard the kerfuffle and pulled me off him so he's offered to act as a witness. I'm just more angry about my suit :(

Nope still in Aberdeen dok. I've been jumped in Edinburgh and Aberdeen now, but not Glasgow. Man I love Scotland.



EDIT Al, nope he was on the ground with his head to the side.

Woohoo my bum thanks you clendrix!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:03, Reply)

Bloody Police..
I think in most cases the Plods will turn a blind eye to anyone who retaliates in a mugging situation, so long as you don't remove any limbs or organs, or are found dancing naked around the mutilated mugger's corpse.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Sorry to hear that, Batman
I've only been mugged the once, in bloody Guildford of all places. Two ex-cons versus the 17 year old me. Not much of a contest. After trying to talk my out of it failed, I had a hand around my throat and the other frisking me for my wallet. I managed to get away with giving them a fiver, which they later inexplicably gave me back.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:16, Reply)

Yeah they literally said
You shouldn't of fought back and the guy could be a fair distance away by now.

Aberdeen is hardly a huge place but oh well. What can you do.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Bloody hell!
Sorry to hear that Batman.

I've been mugged a couple of times.
Well, I say mugged, once I turned the tables on the guy and mugged him back.

The other time I was very drunk and had 84p in change, and no phone or cards on me.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:21, Reply)

Oh dear sweet jesus!
My manager has just told me she's going to get her bikini line waxed.

*vomits*

*sits in a corner rocking and crying*

Someone pass the mind bleach please.
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:23, Reply)

Oh God...
*passes Lusty the mind bleach*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Argh, TMI
*scrubs lusty's mind for her*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:26, Reply)

Lusty
At least she didn't ask you to do it.

Al will do it, I'll bet.
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:26, Reply)

Could be worse lusty
she could be a dude.

Kaol yeah that's why I was so pissed of because I had absolutely no cash on me. I actually had a folder with files for the bank manager asking if the company could borrow some money to pay all of us at the end of the month. How ironic!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:27, Reply)

Thank you Lab
I actually feel sick now.

Why oh why does she always want to talk about things to do with her vagina? I'm scared she's going to try and show it to me one day.
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:28, Reply)

Al would suggest epilating
Using his teeth.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:28, Reply)

@ Wander
play along and describe all of your vaginal happenings.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:30, Reply)

Lab...
That makes me think of the phrase "grazing like a cow in a meadow"...

*shudders*
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:30, Reply)

can al's teeth do that?
I'm impressed.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:30, Reply)

Al's teeth are amazing!
*refuses to elaborate*
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:31, Reply)

@ethel
my vagina is for me and me only and maybe a few lucky men I'm sure no one else wants to hear about it!
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)

Does anybody else
get an itchy face when they haven't shaved for a few days? Mine is driving me up the wall.

*scratches*

*gnashes teeth*
( Kroney, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:33, Reply)

Kaol
You just made me officelol!

And feel a little ill.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:34, Reply)

@Lusty
How old is this woman who talks about her fanny all the time?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:34, Reply)

Kroney,
I don't.

Perhaps you need to have a shave later?
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:38, Reply)

@ Lusty
A few?

*sulks*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:39, Reply)

for some reason
I now have the phrase "pant-moustache" floating round in my poor little brain.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)

HLT
Is that a smaller version of a Nether Beard? Or does it mean exclusively above the lips?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:43, Reply)

@K2k6
She's 59.

@BK...There's no other way of saying this really, but it's yours first.

EDIT: Everyone else just ignore that ok!
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:46, Reply)

@ Lusty
Yay!

*keeps Lusty's bits all to himself*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:47, Reply)

59?
I see your point.

*does a sick*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:49, Reply)

@ Lab
Yes, except now it's to the tune of the little "three blind mice" jingle they have on the F1 grand prix...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:50, Reply)

K2k6
It just reminds me of his 50plus porn mag I have at home (don't ask why I have it, I just do)and there was an advert for 'Gran chat' which had a heading of...

My slack old minge will take your balls aswell

Wrong, just wrong!
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:57, Reply)

Lusty
that's just brilliant!
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Lusty,
That's brilliant and terrible...

You still got the number?
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:00, Reply)

@ al
well of course you are darling.

New! From b3ta products only, this all-in-one northern hair remover will not only leave you smooth and silky but also probably covered in spluff as well and so on ad infinitum...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:00, Reply)

@Kaol
I lost that number. I do however have numbers if you'd like to either bend granny over her zimmer frame or slam granny in the fanny!
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:03, Reply)

Thats...
hilariously nasty.

Or is that nastily hilarious.#

@Batman - sorry you got mugged. Thats shit.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:04, Reply)

@al
I use them for my own personal enjoyment I use them to make birthday cards sometimes.

I once found a picture of a saggy old minge and glued on eyes and a mouth. It looked like some kind of sexual alien.
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:06, Reply)

The words "slack" and "minge"
When used together, cause 57% of adult men to spontaneously vomit. Fact.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:09, Reply)

@Lusty
I suppose there must be a market for it. But personally, I don't really have a great deal of interest in slack granny-minges.

I'm not telling you when my birthday is...! Although I am quite intrigued by the fanny-alien concept.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:10, Reply)

I am never
telling you when my birthday is.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:11, Reply)

In a tenuous link
I had a phonecall from my grandad on Saturday morning. It went something like this:

Rubberduck: Hello?
Grandad Duck: Hello Rubberduck. It's grandad Duck here.
RD: Hi GD, how are you?
GD: I'm in a bit of a pickle. Can you pop over and help me sort it out?
RD: What sort of pickle?
GD: Well, I've managed to get a tape stuck in the video recorder and I can't seem to get it out.
RD: Ah - I see. Next time I'm passing, I'll pop in and get it out for you.
GD: Errr... can you come over now...?
RD: I'm a little busy at the moment, but I could probably drop by later.
GD: Well I need you to come over before your grandma gets back...
RD: Errr...
GD: You see. It's a porn video and your grandma would hit the roof...

Needless to say, I went round straight away, armed with a screwdriver and extracted Mature Euro Mothers vol. 3 (or something like that) from his VCR. The things you do to help a relative in need....

The guy's 87. Full credit to him that he can still... err... function, as it were...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:12, Reply)

Wanderlust...
That didn't grab my attention as much, sorry.

Ah well...

EDIT: Mr. Duck, that made me laugh like a drain when you told me on Saturday, amazing story!
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:13, Reply)

Ha
My only rated QOTW on here was about a granny watersports jazz mag.

Fact.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:14, Reply)

Oh Duckie
that's bloody marvellous!
( thealternativefact, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:15, Reply)

Hmm
I have these playing cards.....

Thanks again Lusty, I love them!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:16, Reply)

@BK
I thought you would. A lot of thought went in to finding the most horrific porn playing cards I could get my hands on.

Ducky. That is amazing!
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:24, Reply)

*is back*
*hugs for Batman*
*lols for Duckie*

I think that about covers it..
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:26, Reply)

Yup
That really ugly women in red wellies, pissing on a tyre in a barn is genius!


*edit*
@TGB

Where's my hug?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:26, Reply)

*runs and jumps on BK*
*extra big smooshy hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:28, Reply)

@BK
I love the fact she's still wearing a rather fetching pair of orange trousers.
( wanderlust, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:28, Reply)

Porn Cards
Are ace! I had a pack which were bad 80s Euro porn, with the Eight of Spades being a permed lady being double-fisted.

Charming.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:30, Reply)

I had page 3
playing cards from the late 80's I think.

Just lots of boobs. I think someone stole them though, bastards
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:31, Reply)

BK
Old woman pissing on a tyre? I'm intrigued. Suppose her feet wouldn't get wet, what with the wellies.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:32, Reply)

@ TGB
That's better!

@Lusty
Oh yeah! The trousers.
The 80s-ness is what makes them.
I swear one of them is Steffi Graf!

*edit* @Batman
She wasn't old; just very ugly!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:33, Reply)

Well in that case
I'm just not interested any more dear boy!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:39, Reply)

Posted a Q on the Edinbash calendar page...
If any Edinbuggers could reply on the calendar, I'd really appreciate it :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:42, Reply)

Alright no3l
How do?

I can't help you there I'm afraid but a few folk were talking hostels, the ones in Edinburgh can be quite cheap.

If I still lived there I'd gladly offer you a room but as it is I'm kipping with a mate. Although he has a huge flat so I could pap him out and get everybody back there...hmmmm.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:44, Reply)

Pants
I just messed up my application form a bit, and now it's too late to drop it off today. I'll have to do it tomorrow before I go for my interview 25 miles in the opposite direction :-/

And having now just caught up on the thread:
*hugs Batman* that's horrid.
And Ducky, that's priceless.

And bad porn ftw!
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:46, Reply)

I've been inundated
with hugs today. Which is rather nice really.

But thanks!

That's a bit sucky about the application form.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:51, Reply)

Welcome back Fuzzy!
Forty minutes until home time! Then I'm off to Tesco for an epic food shop :D
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:51, Reply)

Lab
can you pick me up some more cider *shakes empty can*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:54, Reply)

I think I got away with it...
I missed a bit out and had to squeeze it in, in tiny writing. I'm just worried that it's not a good look for someone who is professing to be good at admin. Wups.

Food. Yes, food would be good. Some breakfast might help.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:54, Reply)

I'm off in five minutes!
Fantastic!
Got a massive band practice tonight, and really want some Lemon Chicken, so may grab a Chinese...
( Cawl, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:54, Reply)

Ok TGB :)
Fuzzy, simply attach a cookie to your application form. Sure fire winner!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:56, Reply)

Sweeeet
I am out till about 8 so drop it round after :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 16:58, Reply)

TGB
I'm out of cider but have plenty of red wine

*proffers*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:00, Reply)

Duckie don't tempt me
I will turn up at your house and drink myself silly :p

Especially as I am not in work tomorrow
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:02, Reply)

Random question
Who would in a fight?

Han Solo or Indiana Jones?

Thank you please.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:02, Reply)

@ batman
Both, and preferably fighting over me, so I'd get to go home with whoever won.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:04, Reply)

Haha!
Lab with your suggestion and Lucy's I'm certain to get teh job. (That was a genuine "teh"! I actually did it by accident! Woo!)

Yes, I shall carefully glue a cookie to the corner of the form and while I am handing it over I shall flash my boobies.

Banking, of course, on the recipient not being a female heterosexual diabetic/coeliac sufferer.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:05, Reply)

In that case
HLT wins

Fuzzy, even a straight lady cannot be completely offended by a bit of boobie flashing?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:05, Reply)

Ah, but
you'd want Indiana Jones to win for sexytime purposes. Apparently Han has a habit of shooting first.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:07, Reply)

TGB
Make it after 4 and I'll be there too, drinking myself silly as per usual... :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:07, Reply)

hahahaha
good shout wookie.

But Indiana has a whip. And a normal gun. And he has the brains. And sexy boots.

And I may have a crush on him apparently.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:08, Reply)

Surely
the fight would be a bit of a schizophrenic one?
Prolly very amusing to watch though.

Also, whilst googling Han Solo I found this!
The poor man! It's inexplicably disturbing.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:11, Reply)

Fuzzy
That's amazing! He looks so helpless.

Helpless and tasty...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:13, Reply)

That's brilliant!
I want one!
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:14, Reply)

But it's already past
4 :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:14, Reply)

TGB
That rule applies to any day... :p
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:16, Reply)

So are you getting drunk now?
I hope you're not watching Lost!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:19, Reply)

o fuzzy
I can haz hand polo chok bar?

*wishes to nom*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:19, Reply)

I'm not getting drunk yet
I'm busy nomming my big steak pie. Mmmmmm...

Season 2 disc 4 turned up today - I'm not watching it though. :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:22, Reply)

mmm pie
I'm not really hungry though. But the amount I eat gets less the more stressed I am and I think I may have beaten the previous high :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:24, Reply)

This is the longest day in the world
I am old. I can't stand the pace and I want my bed.

But I have to go to class from 7-10. Arse.

Sorry, whinge over. I want Han Solo choccy now.

Edit: Suddenly feel guilty after remembering how shitty some other peoples days have been. Sorry, I shouldn't moan about mine.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:24, Reply)

o hlt
u CAN haz hand polo chok bar for noms!

But you'll have to set aside a day or two for making him first, christ on a bike that looks complicated!

Talk of food. I had a banana.

*is still hungry*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:28, Reply)

To be fair TGB
I can't really blame you. It's not exactly been one of the best days you've ever had.

I can't even tempt you with a chunk of nice tangy cheddar? It must be bad if that's the case... :)
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:28, Reply)

Don't feel guilty Scarpe :)
The thought of food just makes me feel ill. I am sure Mummy Badger will make sure I eat something though when I see her later.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:34, Reply)

I haven't got a nice home picture
can someone please start an evening thread?

my interweb is grumpy at all the replies

ta!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 17:46, Reply)