Can I put this here?
"
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 8:19, 319 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning!
It's Friday!

*bounces*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 8:30, Reply)

Yep 'tis
Half day for me then I'm off fishing.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 8:47, Reply)

Morning all
Meeting Piston_Broke after work for a beer in Wakey, and then Lusty's coming up for a visit so should be a cracking weekend!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 8:50, Reply)

Yay to friday
Boo to my hangover
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 8:51, Reply)

Nice
Last time I went fishing was with my kiddo, we went minnow fishing and caught loads. She had her hands in the bucket holding the fish, much to my amazement. She's a bit of a tomboy in that way :)

Edit: *massages Ancrenne's router*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 8:53, Reply)

Hiya ancrenne!
*hugs*

*slumps*

*is hungover*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:05, Reply)

@ancrenne
*is soothed*

Yay for ciggies. I can have one in about an hour before I go for bacon and sausage noms:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:11, Reply)

'ning all
I see we have another crap QOTW.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:11, Reply)

Morning all!
*hugs for all*

I'm finishing at 3:30 today, then I'm off camping for the weekend. The weather looks shit, but I have booze to compensate.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:13, Reply)

Well there was
a hilarious tesco value post put up on the first page *coughs*

How are we all today? It's still very quiet. And everyone I know if off somewhere this weekend so it looks like it's me, some chocolate, some cider and my internet friends :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:14, Reply)

Yes Dok
Another roobash QOTW, I can't see there being much variation.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:14, Reply)

Badger
I saw that one and officeloled.

They're still looking at me funny.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:15, Reply)

I'm going Hamlet
tonight.

Smugs.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:15, Reply)

himjim
As in Happyness is a cigar? Or to see the play?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:18, Reply)

Miss crenne
You've been looking at the pictures haven't you!

I met Keith a while ago in Braintree when Fat of the Land came out. He was a great bloke, nothing like you'd expect really.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:20, Reply)

Hey TGB *hugs*
And Lab, Herr Dok and everone else!

Hangover has subsided slightly with coffee, and I've booked more tickets down to London for three weeks time:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:20, Reply)

Officelols are awesome :p
*hugs everyone who's arrived*

Glad to see you are back with us Ancrenne :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:23, Reply)

The play!
Although I did partake of a lovely morning cigarette with my first cup of coffee...

How is everyone else today?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:24, Reply)

BK you London addict.
I don't think I will be making any ones further than Leam for a while :p

Ooh we have beef stew and dumplings for dinner today *mini glees* I think I am actually going to miss "working" here.

Oh man even my housemate is away this weekend. I may spend the whole time in my pyjamas. *cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:27, Reply)

Morning
For some reason I feel rubbish today, and I didn't drink last night.

*shrugs*

The drains are fucked under my office again, so it smells like a festival toilet, was nearly sick when I walked through the door.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)

TGB
Well, you're going to the Edinburgh bash, but that's ages away :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:29, Reply)

@Kaol
The moral there is, drink anyway, and then you have a reason to feel like shit!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:31, Reply)

Maybe you feel rubbish
because you didn't drink *hugs*
I was drinking last night and I feel fine. Apart from slight embarrassment regarding a conversation with my housemate. ho hum.

And Lab even my birthday is before then!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:32, Reply)

Morning all
After last nights ludicrous weather, it seems to actually be dry and not windy just now. I might even get to uni without it raining on me. Wahey!

Good to see you back ancrenne.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:32, Reply)

Maybe...
I'm just gonna blame lack of alcohol and the fact that it smells like a herd of pigs shit themselves to death on a maggot farm in here.
*frowns*
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:33, Reply)

Hmm, my keen analyst senses are tingling
What's this? A hidden message in TGB's post?

"You must buy me lots of stuff for my birthday".

Interesting... it was a crude encryption technique, but I believe that was deliberate...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:34, Reply)

Yes officelols are the best.
Miss crenne, there is nothing wrong with spending the weekend in your PJs I used to do it all the time.

Not your or TGBs PJs though, but I bet they're all of the awesome.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:36, Reply)

I don't normally
start hinting till after Christmas but if you want to start planning what you are going to get me you can :p

I will remind you closer the time with texts, calls and facebook messages!

I don't have proper pjs just old joggers and a big tshirt :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:36, Reply)

Lab
I think you could be right there.

EDIT And another hint that TGB wants nice PJs for her birthday.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:37, Reply)

*rolls eyes*
I love how TGB seems to have forgotten the amazingness that will be the Kaol And The Belmers Gig :p

(Order may have been switched for ego reasons)
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:37, Reply)

@TGB
Does that mean you're throwing a birthday bash?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:38, Reply)

Well that's kind of Leamington
And no more eye rolling or you will be walking to the gig :p

And sure BK why not!! *cough*you're*cough*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:39, Reply)

Oh fine :p
Don't pretend you're not excited.

I've gotta design a brochure about chairs today.
Life really doesn't get more exciting than that.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:41, Reply)

@TGB
What's with the coughing?

*whistles*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Ancrenne
I almost volunteered to help, until you mentioned the 'no pictures' thing.

I'm afraid that's a deal breaker.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Well, Kaol and ancrenne
I challenge you both with getting to go into uni and doing a 'house of quality' stupid table thing. I think I may well win.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:44, Reply)

What kind of chairs?
Are they cool ones like H.R. Giger's Harkonnen Chairs?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:45, Reply)

hell I almost
to help until the no pictures thing!

And you're not fooling anyone BK *glares*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:45, Reply)

But...
I like chairs!
I really wasn't being sarcastic :p

*sighs*
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:46, Reply)

@ TGB
*innocents*

*sticks out tongue*

*hugs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:47, Reply)

Seems like you're the Chairman
of this Board Kaol.

Snarf.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:48, Reply)

Ningles
Ancrenne, welcome back. Can I change my sig now?
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:48, Reply)

I prefer "king"
Chairman implies that I was given the position.

King implies that it's my god-given right.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:49, Reply)

Miss crenne
I'm now sitting trying my hardest not to officelol again. They may have me commited if I do.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:50, Reply)

Friday humour
Thankfully my work allows me to draw a crappy comic to send 'round the company every Friday.

By 'allows', I mean that they haven't told me off yet, and i'm quite blatant about creating it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:53, Reply)

Is the Friday challenge
to make Dok officelol? *evil glees*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:53, Reply)

Well, I believe in
A god.
It just happens to be the same way that the Pharaohs believed...

EDIT: Conquest? Who've I gotta conquest around here for that to happen?
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:53, Reply)

Go on then TGB
Ancrenne, they have no humour.

I strangly felt all Klingon saying that?

Half of the office lights have just gone out, it's very dark in here now! I'm afeared now.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Dok
you should light some candles in the dark bit whilst singing "I'm a firestarter"

Points are awarded for how many people avoid eyecontact with you for the rest of the day
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:59, Reply)

Morning Folks
Booted, suited and twitching slightly, off to interview I go....


(I've not had one of these for a while so am a tad nervous/hearing the voices this morning)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:00, Reply)

She's a little old for me.
Unless by "conquest", you mean "slice to ribbons".

Actually, she's pretty old, I think two minutes in the "Closet Of Doom"* in my office would finish her.

*The Closet Of Doom is a cupboard in the corner of my office that used to be a toilet. It was disconnected, but on days like today when The Smell is here, it comes through the Closet. Like Narnia, but with more human faeces.

EDIT: Best of luck, Mr. Osok.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:00, Reply)

@osok
Best of luck!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Well
That sounds nothing short of truly horrific, Kaol. I'm quite glad I finished breakfast before reading that.

Do you ever play games of 'who can bear going in for longest'?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Kaol
Conquest doesn't mean shag. Or do you imagine that William took Harold up the arse in 1066?
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Badger
I don't have any candle or I would.

You almost got me with that BTW.

I can see me not surviving today.

EDIT Good luck Osok
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)

@ clendrix
Yes!

Then he jizzed in his eye:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)

PoD
I never go in there.
But we did leave someone's coat in there all day once.
Then put it back in the cloakroom before they went home.

Was a bit mean, but he's a cunt, so it's ok.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)

Best of luck Osok!
I'm getting writer's block with regards my comics, I think i've almost milked the comedy cow that is Digital Forensics pretty damn dry.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:05, Reply)

*wants to see the comics*
Or are they all "in-jokes" that I would go "ha eh er... what" at and then everyone else would point and laugh in their digital forensics way and make another joke that I wouldn't get and then I'd cry.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)

BK
That was quite some jizz!

*decides to steer clear of French men*
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Off to uni
Have fun afternoons and weekends everyone.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Ms. C
It's all the garlic.
Corrosive stuff.

/stereotypes.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Hmm, I can't send anyone the comics
As they refer to my company. They're not entirely in-jokes about forensic stuff. They mainly involve me being a badass and killing people.

They are also stick figures, because I cannot draw.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:10, Reply)

How do you draw
A mohawk on a stickman?
Doesn't he just end up looking like a unicorn?
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:12, Reply)

@ clenders
The Scots can be quite 'explosive' too;)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:13, Reply)

Kaol
you have the stick man looking to the side
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:14, Reply)

BK
That would be because of the Auld Alliance.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Vipros is correct
My stick figure alter ego is mostly shown in profile.

Maybe I'll post some up later, if I remove the company name.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:16, Reply)

Dok
No exploding for you. You'll put your candles out.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:16, Reply)

Well then Lab
I think you should start drawing us Friday B3ta comics. Do it, do it now :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:17, Reply)

how is everyone this morning?
Despite still having a cough (possibly prolonged by lots of spliffs last night at band practice) I'm feeling quite chipper.

we produced some awesome prog rock style stuff last night. took a new song from folk to rock to ethnic-sounding rock and back again. it was sweet.

should be doing some recording soon too :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:18, Reply)

Drixy
OK I won't asplode honest.

But if it gets any darker in here I may have to move outside.

Bugger it, I'm going out for a smoke.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:19, Reply)

morning folks.
It's Friday!

*happy dances*

I'm feeling a tad delicate today...My 'I'm never drinking again' rule lasted 5 days. Still, at least I tried.
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Yay ancrenne!
*ensnuggles back*
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:25, Reply)

It's Lusty
YAY

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Morning Lusty!
*joins the hug pile*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:32, Reply)

Mornin' Lusty
*waves*
Heavy night?
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:33, Reply)

*hugs Dok*
You well this morning?

EDIT: Yay! Grope group hug!

I went out with Bill last night and had lots of fun annnnd we saw Simon Amstell in Soho if anyone cares.
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Morning peeps
What have I missed?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:35, Reply)

Grrrr.
My phoneternet is being shit. I think I might have caught the interweb lurgi :(
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:35, Reply)

lusty hugs oooh! *hugs*
Hey No 31 and Scarpe too!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:37, Reply)

Lusty
I'm all of the good today despite drinking lots last night. But it's very dark in my office.

Stealth EDIT Hi Scarpe.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:39, Reply)

*sniffs*
no hugs for Vipros :-(
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:40, Reply)

@Dok
I'm the same, just swap dark in the office for so hot I feel I might faint and I'm seriously considering taking all of my clothes off and pouring cold water all over me.
:(
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:41, Reply)

ooh...I saw Simon Amstell in Soho...
last summer.

It was really hot, and he was wearing a buttoned up duffle coat and sweating.

Posey twazzock.

Still makes me laugh though
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:41, Reply)

I ain't huggin' you Vipros.
Sorry.
You know what happened last time...
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:41, Reply)

@ Lusty
You can save that til tonight if you like:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)

but it was soo good Kaol...
;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)

*hugs Vipros*
better?

Everyone will be distracted by a wet nekkid lusty now though :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)

Morning
6.5 hours til the weekend - and we get an extra hour of it this weekend!

I'm in a good mood cos it's Friday and I'm going to do as little as possible today, I decided before I left for work.

Vipros - prog rock, nice!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:43, Reply)

But Badger
It is very distracting.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:44, Reply)

Morning folks
As it's friday I'll be having battered sausage and chips for dinner. Yummeh!

Before that though I plan to learn how to solve my 4x4 rubiks cube. Yes, I am cool.
( Captain V, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)

Morning Capt V
Good luck with that.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:46, Reply)

much better :-)
thanks chaps and chapesses
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:47, Reply)

@ Captain V
You have a four-wheel drive Rubik's Cube?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Morning Dok
I wish I had more or better things to be frank other than reading books I don't.
( Captain V, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:47, Reply)

I've had a blonde moment this morning.
I've been keeping my eye out for the home sweet home thread and only just noticed that this is it.

I wondered why someone had posted a pic of a t-shirt.

Can one spang oneself?
( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:50, Reply)

@ Blouse
No need!

*spang*

*hugs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Morning BGB
*hugs*

I see you've already been spanged good and proper.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Hello ancrenne.
I'm a little hungover but ok.

I drank too much wine last night...hiccup!

How's the pants business?


Hello dok and bk. *hugs*
( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:55, Reply)

Morning BGB!
Ooo, nearly lunch time...

*stomach rumbles*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:55, Reply)

Pah
To you and your lunchy ways Lab.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:56, Reply)

I've had a rumbbly stomach for ages.
I am looking forward to my dumplings! nomnomnomnomnom
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:57, Reply)

I wish I could have some dumplings
But I'll have to settle for a crappy sammich, or crisps, and chocolate.

Boo
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 10:58, Reply)

I've got an alcohol-based lunch
The best kind :D
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:01, Reply)

Dok
You should have a jam and hula hoop sandwich!! I know you want to and it's ok :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:01, Reply)

best crisp sandwich
frazzles and ketchup

fact
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)

morning all
another boring Friday, today I will be - RUNNING FUCKING ERRANDS! GOD! Have to visit British Council to pick up a certificate for a student, then post that, and an invoice for another job. Gah!

On happier thoughts - tis almost by birthday! YAY!
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)

Kaol, that is a goodly lunch.
Badger and Vipros, those are just wrong, plane and simple they are wrong!

If I wa at home I'd have a Bacon, fried egg, marmite, and mayo sandwich. It's the daddy of sandwiches.

The king of sandwiches is bacon, egg, sausage, prawn mayo, and ketchup.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)

My mum used to make us stewed apple sandwiches.
They were fantastic. Mind you she used to put stewed apple in a lot of our food.

Must be a German thing.

Edit - flippin hell ancrenne. How great is that. It seems like it's all coming together now. Woo!
( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)

That does sound
pretty good actually Vip...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:07, Reply)

@ ancrenne
Sounds like it's taking off!

And Clootie Dumpling! Ooohhh!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Herr Doktor
those do sound good

I was just saying that if you are having crisps in a sandwich, frazzles and ketchup are the way ;-)

@TGB: it is, try it. needs butter as well. and adding marmite is good too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:09, Reply)

I don't like butter
or marmite.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Crisp sandwiches
to be fair, adding Frazzles to any sandwich could only improve it infinitely.

Apart from adding them to the pot noodle & wotsit sandwich that I mentioned previously. That would be overkill.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)

If I wasn't going to the pub for
Liquid lunch today, I'd have a chicken and bacon baguette for lunch.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:13, Reply)

Crisp sandwiches!
A fresh white baguette, herb Philidelphia and Walkers Max paprika. Nom and, indeed, nom.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:15, Reply)

No3L
that sounds good

tomato and three bean soup for lunch today (I am a soup addict)

*nom*

@TGB: you don't like butter or marmite? I'm afraid it's over between us.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:16, Reply)

Ancrenne
I keep meaning to make Clootie Dumpling, but I forget and fail.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Work comic finished
Now to plan my lunch...

Bacon, brie and cranberry baguette I think!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:20, Reply)

You'll come back Vipros
they all do ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:20, Reply)

I'd sell my soul for a big fat dumpling right about now.
But that's another story.


I'm having a cheese sandwich and a cuppasoup.
( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:21, Reply)

Lab
That sounds all lully and nomable.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:21, Reply)

Herr Dok
Oh it is, in a freshly baked baguette too! I can feel my waist line expanding when I eat it, but by Jove it's tasty!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)

I read that as
Excrement.
That was a truly awful mental image.
*saws head open*
*pours bleach in*
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:24, Reply)

ancrenne
that's the lunch of champions ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:25, Reply)

*produces a big fat dumpling*
Good morning everybody, here you go!

*offers*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:26, Reply)

Haha!
Well, I'm glad that I'm hitting the right tone today :p
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:27, Reply)

*nibbles on bert's dumpling*

( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:27, Reply)

Hello, ancrenne
how are you diddling?

My dumpling only smells funny because it is full of spina bifidus activarum, it's good for you.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:28, Reply)

You're very brave Clendrix
I think I will wait 30 mins until I get beef stew and dumplings.

I am insanely hungry though, which is probably good,
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:30, Reply)

hmm lunch
being poor, I'm having a crispy fresh baguette, with cheese spread and salt and vinegar pringles. yum

but first - damn errands.

i'll be back
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)

If by 'brave' you mean 'mental'...
I concur.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:32, Reply)

It IS science
because Carol Vorderman says so, and she can count.

Here, TGB, eat my fresh dumplings.

*offers clendrix a napkin, to wipe away the brown sauce around her dumpling*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Bert I'm going to pass
it's all personal as well I'm afraid
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:34, Reply)

*good luck hugs*
Hope you get it sorted miss 'crenne!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)

@TGB
Personal? Have I wronged you in some way as well?

Generic apology #247: I, and my parents, would like to apologise for any offence Bert Monkeysex may have caused. We have tried to stop him the past, but unfortunately, he's a gimp.

EDIT cheerio ancrenne! Good luck with whatever it is you're all talking about!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:36, Reply)

Good luck, Ancrenne!
Bert, how kind.

*appropriates napkin*
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:37, Reply)

Good luck Ancrenne!
And you haven't wronged me Bert, just I would never put anything you offered me anywhere near my face. Or my body in general really :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)

Best of luck Ancrenne!
I'm so bored. My cases are dull but lengthy (not unlike my, oh nevermind).

I had the best stew ever last weekend at my parent's, in payment for chopping up a big tree.

TGB, I didn't use my mo to chop the tree.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)

@TGB
Well, that's just plain rude.

What if you needed a kidney, and I was the only matching donor in the whole world?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Lab I
am seriously disappointed with you for that.

You will have to buy me more birthday presents to win back my affection

Hmm can I not have a robotic kidney? That would be cool
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:45, Reply)

Win back?
That assumes I had it in the first place.

Or indeed want it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:46, Reply)

@TGB
:( do I really come across that bad? -or have you heard something...?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:48, Reply)

*Stumbles in*
Morning all... for what it's worth. Bloody rum, I knew I shouldn't have drank 3/4 of the fucking bottle. DAMN YOU CAPTAIN MORGAN!!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:49, Reply)

Robo-kidney?
I think you need the help of an Evil Mad Scientist.

*looks around*

*whistles to self*
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:49, Reply)

pft
you want it :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:50, Reply)

*sashays in*
ningles all!

*huggles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Hallo HLT!
*big hugs*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:52, Reply)

And I'm just messing bert
*hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Morning Shimmies-in-Pants
How are you today?

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:56, Reply)

Great
So HLT gets a hug and I don't? Bloody charming...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:57, Reply)

@ piston
you got one from me, darling, what else do you need?

edit@ Dok - I'm grand thanks, it's the weekend, and I'm causing trouble wherever I go *grins*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:59, Reply)

@TGB
Phew, had me worried for a minute there.

@HLT Hiya Tulips!

*snogs*

Brought any cakes with you?

EDIT @piston broke I just checked out your profile, you look like a less-ginger Murray from the Flight of the Conchords.
DOUBLE EDIT
See?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:59, Reply)

*looks at Piston for a moment*
Ah, what the hell!

*manhugs Piston*

Sorry to hear you're hanging!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:59, Reply)

Bert!
course I brought cakes, silly, it's me!

*hands round cakes*

NB they do not contain cream.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Yay! Tulip!
*huggles*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)

@HLT
Not even dog semen cream?

I think I'll pass in that case.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Sorry Piston
I am always running behind the convo *hugs*

And *huggles* for HLT
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Thanks all
But doesn't hanging also mean to be completely repulsive?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:05, Reply)

@ Bert
no, what sort of tulip do you think I am!

you horrid boy!

huggles for beekers and miss badger too.

*retracts hug from bert*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Yay for HLT causing trouble.
I'm about to eat a packet of Steak and Ale Pie flavoured McCoys.

Will report back as to the taste.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:07, Reply)

I will miss this place...
Me: I have a small bit of tooth pain, I think my wisdom tooth is coming through more.
Em: Ooh I hate that, and you get those little flaps of skin
Me: Yeah gum flaps!
Em: That sounds rude!
*enter Chris*
Chris: What you two cackleing about?
Em: TGB's FLAPS HURT!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:15, Reply)

*self-hugs*
MmmmMMMmmm... I'm all lovely and warm, I don't need tulip.

@piston broke please scroll up, I'd like a response to my suggestion that you resemble Murray from FOTC
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:15, Reply)

@ Bert
No idea what you mean fella, but some people think I look like Chris Barry, the poor misguided fools.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:18, Reply)

TGB
I just squirted tea out of my nose.

Now my nose hurts, and I have a sticky keyboard.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:19, Reply)

@pb
Hmmm... nope, definitely more like Murray. The guy who plays him was on Buzzcocks last night, he's quite a funny man.

Incidentally, I saw Chris Barry in one of those 'Awesome Machines' type TV programmes, he learned me an awful lot about Helicopters, for instance, they actually do have jet engines, but not quite like Airwolf.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:20, Reply)

Robbed
I was robbed I tells ya, those crisps tasted nothing like a steak and ale pie!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:21, Reply)

@ Dok
And what have you learnt?

that's right. eat a proper pie next time.

*huggles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:24, Reply)

haha
sorry Lab :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:24, Reply)

If you say so
I remember watching it last night but none of the actual contents of the show. Then again, I was fissed as a part, to be fair.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:24, Reply)

HLT
It gets worse, one of my workmates has reheated a steak and kidney pie in the microwave we have and I'm being subjected to the mouthwatering smell.

I may have to kill them and steal the pie!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:27, Reply)

oh no!
don't do that dok. just go to greggs!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:29, Reply)

*does epic victory dance*
I've got Metallica tickets!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:29, Reply)

There's not one near here.
I feel starved now!

I WANT PIE

*stomp*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)

I've got a better idea
bollocks to the pie, let's kill* vipros and steal his metallica tickets!





*tickle
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:31, Reply)

I'd rather be killed than tickled
I'm incredibly ticklish
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Hmm...
*looks at knife*
*looks at feather*

*burns feather*
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:39, Reply)

Throws a pie at Vipros
That's him distracted HLT quick get the tickets!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:42, Reply)

Mrs Bin made the newsletter three times!
Surely that's just showing off? :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:51, Reply)

That is indeed showing off
But yay because Mrs L rocks
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:55, Reply)

They just want Mrs Bin to send them some biscuits.
Word has got out.
( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:55, Reply)

God I am bored at work
And shockingly my post on the new QOTW is already my best! I didn't realise my other answers were that shit haha

I was trying out the cardboard top tip Mrs L had in the newsletter and the director walked in. He now thinks I am completely mad :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:01, Reply)

Hmm
All this talk of crisp sandwiches has given me the hungah! I think a trip to Waitrose is in order.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:02, Reply)

Afternoon all
Are we all well?

My day of uni finished about 2 and half hours early, which was nice.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:02, Reply)

Good Afternoon Gentlefolks
Am back from interview, should hear this arfternoon.

Hopes not high, as I don't think I did a very good job of it, with raging sore throat and imminent voice-loss. Or I could just be crap.

I fear the lurgy may have struck - I am going to indulge in some egg-related therapy while I wait for 'the' call. Ooh me bones hurt.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:06, Reply)

Good luck Osok
*crosses everything*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:11, Reply)

Good luck indeed Osok
Well as soon as I got indoors, it appears to have started hailing outside. I'm glad it wasn't doing it on my face.

I've now caught up with the whole thread. I have that little to do. How's work just now TGB?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:28, Reply)

non existant
I am so bored.

I am tempted to have a sleep at my desk
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:30, Reply)

Why sleep
When you could play flash games? Or go on youtube?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:34, Reply)

i have returned from my bloody errands
and am now noming a cheesepread/salt-n-vinegar-pringle baguette. Tis tasty.

How are we all this lunchtime?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:36, Reply)

I actually need a wee.
I really do.

*heads over to /talk to wee there*
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:45, Reply)

I might have a wee too.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!







God! I enjoyed that.
( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:47, Reply)

Shameless pimping
Hi all,

I've just posted a new OT post with my work-related comic stuff. Please be gentle!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:55, Reply)

* pops head out of ground *
Greetings,

I've escaped from my office and am sneakilly using the wifi from my previous hotel to access the Internet (for some reason, I cannot connect to my e-mail server using the wifi from my current hotel, but it works here).

Had to dig a tunnel to get out, and am now back in b3taland!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:56, Reply)

Well, I'm back
Had a hefty session in the pub, back for a slow, slow afternoon now.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)

There was a flaw in my plan
They've followed me through the tunnel, and now I must be dragged back to work!

Bye.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:04, Reply)

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH
WHY CAN'T PEOPLE FROM LONDON COUNT.


Or use their peon brains for once and think about what they're going to write before their scratty, pudgy fingers make contact with their keyboard.

Edit: Threadkiller 8D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:09, Reply)

*posts for the sake of posting*
I'm really bored this afternoon, finished designing my chair brochure, just waiting on the copy to put into it...

*yawns*
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:19, Reply)

What's wrong with our Friday Thread?
We've abandoned all hope.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)

I was sleeping
*stretches*

If nothing exciting is happening here I am going back to sleep
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:24, Reply)

I think
Some folk are out to lunch, and others might be winding down after lunch.

Me, I'm basking in a post-hot-cup-of-tea glow.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:25, Reply)

*bursts back onto the scene like a minnow in a vest*
SURPRISE!!


Oh, you don't care? Me either.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:26, Reply)

Lunch!
I knew something was missing.

*starts to feel hungry*

Bert, when was the last time you washed that vest?
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:26, Reply)

I should've had lunch instead of alcohol
The sleepyness is getting me.

Coffee time.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:29, Reply)

@clendrix
I have three very manly white vests, but I havn't worn them since last winter, so it's been about...

*counts on fingers and toes*

...this many months.

*holds up three fingered stump and four-toed club foot*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:30, Reply)

Well done, Bert.
Mind those stumps in the strings of your manly vest.

I just did the 7Days Quiz on the BBC site and scored 7/7! It's a miracle: I usually score 3.
One of my correct answers was thanks to Kaol.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:33, Reply)

Harro again peeps
I've had noms so I'm all fool of Greggs pasties.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Was the Kaol
one ear related?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:36, Reply)

No!
Nor did it involve violence, blood or nipples.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Was that the
"There's probably no God. Stop worrying and enjoy your life." one?

Also, I just read this on there:
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/south_yorkshire/7688929.stm
It's absolutely awful.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Nope.
Not that one either. But I am sworn to secrecy.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:38, Reply)

I got
5/7 possibly the best I have ever done *glees*

Got the last two wrong, but I did actually know all of the others!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:40, Reply)

Kaol
that fucker deserves to die, slowly and painfully

edit: woo, I got 7 out of 7 too!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:42, Reply)

I like this one
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/children-to-be-taught-why-women-are-out-of-their-minds-200810231348/
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:42, Reply)

That Kaol
is another fine reason the death sentence should be brought back
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:45, Reply)

Yay, 6/7
Definitely my highest score in the quiz for a long time, probably ever.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:46, Reply)

Or better than the death sentence...
suffer the same treatment you felt it was your right to dole out to others.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:46, Reply)

I don't think he should be put to death
That's no good at all, there'll be an ending to it for him if that happens.

Prolonged torture.
For 40 years.
With the finest medical care to keep him alive.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:47, Reply)

eye for an eye justice all the way
that way the punishment for drug taking is nothing :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:48, Reply)

Kaol/Vipros
'tis this sort of thing that makes me come over all Daily Mail-ish.

22 years? Bollocks.

Don't know how many he'll actually serve, or how many will have to spent kept securely away from the rest of the inmates, but a cheaper and more environmentally friendly option would be to harvest his body for useful organs, then throw the scraps in a skip.

Note I did not suggest that he be killed or rendered unconscious prior to the organ harvesting.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Well that sounds expensive Kaol
Burning the bodies of criminals would probably vastly ease the pressure on fossil fuels.

"Give a Hoot - Burn a Brute!"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Vipros
Hmm, interesting!

*ponders*

If someone who is able bodied, parks in a disabled parking space, does that mean they'll have to lie on the floor while someone in a wheelchair parks on top of them?

If so, I'm all for it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:52, Reply)

I think that he should be
stapled to a dentist, and thrown off a bridge.

Or something.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:53, Reply)

I think he should be carefully rehabilitated.
With fire.

Afternoon all :)
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:01, Reply)

Stupid question
But if you're disabled, and have a disabled parking permit, why do you not have to pay for parking?
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:02, Reply)

Bloody hell!
It's you!

Kaol: because you don't have a choice as to whether you take your car or not.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:02, Reply)

*sigh*
I think Dr House proved to everyone's satisfaction that the only thing you can't do in a wheelchair is remove a toothpick from the colon of a dying gypsy.

I say charge the wheely fuckers.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:06, Reply)

hello everyone
I'm all full of sausage.

After reading that BBC story I now feel quite ill.
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:07, Reply)

Death is too good for people like that!
I suggest implanting tiny explosives all over their body and detonating them one at a time at ramdom intervals. With no access to medical care when you do it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:08, Reply)

@lusty
Good euphemism, I'll have to use that one.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Labia
I like it

in fact, rather than just eye for an eye, we can go with that, or with ironic punishments.

go to work!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:18, Reply)

Y'see...
Back in the ol' days, punishment was both humiliating and painful. Nowadays, it's neither.

How can punishment act as a deterrent when the two main things that humans fear are pain and humiliation.

And clowns.

Ok, three things, pain, humiliation and clowns.

/Python.

Edit: And now i'm off home, for a weekend spent drinking and camping. As in, in a tent, not actin' teh gay. Take care all!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:23, Reply)

*cough* spiders *cough*
Oh god, spider-clowns...

*cries*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:29, Reply)

Spider Clowns
Driving around in their funny little cars with their hairy legs hanging over the sides...
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:30, Reply)

Have a good weekend Lab!
Nothing like gaying it up under canvas.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Hurrah for clendrix
for she has given me an officelol!
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:34, Reply)

Hurrah indeed!
I'm sure wookiee feels the same way.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:34, Reply)

That guy
most likely won't make it out of prison - too many people inside will be after him.

I too got 5/7 right - despite having heard of only 2 of the stories questioned.

Also found this story slightly weird

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7686911.stm
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:35, Reply)

Apparently
He'll have to be segregated with the nonces or he'll last about 22 minutes - there'll be a 'bounty' on him three seconds after he gets through the gates.

Shame.






(not the chocolate/coconut based confection)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Fucking hell.
I can't stop thinking about Bountys now.

(the chocolate/coconut based confection)

And not happy with the spelling of Bountys, but fuck it.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:56, Reply)

Argh!
I'm in a filthy bad mood for some reason now.
*fumes*

I've got no reason to be, I'm off in under an hour, and I've got awesome weekend plans now, and a balls-out-heavy practice with my band tonight.

What the hell?
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:05, Reply)

Your weekend is clendrix-free, that's why.
See? I knew you'd miss me.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:08, Reply)

WaaaaaaaaaaaFuckingHaaaaaaaaaaaa!
I got the job!


The money might be crap, I will have to work my arse off, and I'm overqualified (again), but they like me and have hinted about a more senior role in the near future.

*Backflips*


*Crunches into floor like a sack of shit and limps off muttering*


Righty Ho, I'm off shopping for a surprise "Sorry for being a grumpy fucker for the last 3 months" meal for the Mrs. I may even attempt foreplay. No, that's going too far. I'll just warn her to brace herself.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:09, Reply)

Maybe...
:(

It could also be the fact that I've processed all of the wonderful alcohol that I had at lunchtime, and it's left me desperately wanting more.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:10, Reply)

osok!
Fucking great! Well done.
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:10, Reply)

OooooooooOOOOooooh!
Congratulations Osok!

*grins*

Good luck with the dinner o'awesomeness too :p
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:14, Reply)

Afternoon all
TWO NEWSLETTERS!!

*grins*


And how are we all today?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:36, Reply)

I'm bored.
So ummmm here's a terrible joke.

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted."
Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely.
All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back and low and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal.
"Where's Christian?" he asked.
"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark." Came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted "It's me, Justin! Your old friend, come out and see me again."
Christian replied, "No way! You'll eat me, you're now a shark. You're the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."

Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.........I won't eat you...I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian."
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:37, Reply)

*slaps lusty's bottom*
Now, don't do that again.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:39, Reply)

*rocks gently*
*cries*
( thealternativefact, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:39, Reply)

Hey hey lovely people
How is today going for you?

I got extremely wet, but I now have a cup of tea and am dry. *happies*
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:40, Reply)

mrs L
you were in there three times

*is at home*
woop woop woop
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:41, Reply)

@Moniker
That's the filthiest thing I've read all day. You lot are all perverts.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:42, Reply)

*huffs*
I bet if K2k6 was here he'd like it!

@Bert. If I'm going to get a slapped bottom I might just carry on.
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:42, Reply)

Oh great...
Moniker's here, soaking wet, and I've gotta go in a few minutes.

*frowns*
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:43, Reply)

You'd better come
and make the most of it then Kaol.

And I'm terribly sorry Bert, I shall try very hard to do better next time. Aiming for really perverted I think....
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:45, Reply)

*is at home also*
Three times!

w00t.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:45, Reply)

*licks finger tips*
*draws back arm*

*thwacks lusty's behind, pimp style*

How you like dat den? Keep it up, we all like a really old joke now and then.

@Moniker The only way you could have been more perverted, is if you'd said something overtly sexually like, 'My minge flaps are braw juicy the night, lads. C'mun 'ave a gander.' and then posted pics.

Please do so. Now.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:45, Reply)

Ow Bert!
That hurt.

I think I'll leave the rubbish jokes for a bit.

After this one...

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
( wanderlust, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:50, Reply)

Oh really Moniker?
*grins*

[content removed for legal reasons]
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:50, Reply)

Round here, it'd be more like
Haw, ma fanny's pure juicy the night, 'moan have a wee swatch.

And I'll get back to you about the pictures, I need to speak to my agent first.
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:51, Reply)

Terrible marine-based jokes you say?
Why was the Crab embarrassed?

Because the Sea Weed.

EDIT Top drawer, Mrs Moniker. Just checking though, you are a girl, right?

Not that I'm fussed either way really.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:52, Reply)

Definitely Kaol! ;)
*prepares subpoena to demand viewing of content*

EDIT I am indeed a girl Bert, or at least I'm pretty sure I was last time I checked.

*checks*

Yep, still ok. Although a second opinion is never a bad thing.
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:53, Reply)

You most certainly are female
*coughs*

Not that... You know...

Well, alcohol was involved.
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:56, Reply)

Hmmm....
So you've got one of those self-lubricating front bottoms and everything then?

Have you ever tried to use it to store loose change? Y'know, like if you didn't have a purse handy or anything.

EDIT Ahem, Mr Kaol, have you and Mrs Moniker had 'relations'?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:56, Reply)

Now now Bert....
You should know better than that! REAL girls ALWAYS have a purse.

Thanks for the confirmation Kaol, good to know!
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:59, Reply)

Burt I can't tell you that.
All I can say it that...
*frowns*

It was short and disappointing, just like everything else in my life.

*weeps*
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:02, Reply)

I always find that response
so disappointing. When are women going to realise the practical potential of having downstairs storage space?

...and Kaol, you're a SLAG!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:02, Reply)

Oi!!!! Kaol!
That's not very nice.

*cries*

I'm not that short :(
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:05, Reply)

I was talkin' about myself :(
I've gotta go now, have good weekends my dear minions.

And Moniker... *hugs*
Visit us more often!
( Cawl, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:07, Reply)

I visit you all the time Kaol
while you're sleeping....

*hugs back*

Have a good weekend!
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:08, Reply)

Evening all
How's it going?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:08, Reply)

returns!
Sorry I had to go sort myself out *ahem*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:14, Reply)

Hello to you both!
Pictures, TGB?! ;)
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:15, Reply)

Hey Moniker
Sadly no pictures :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:16, Reply)

Surely
you know the rules....!

Good day?
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:17, Reply)

Well i left my camera downstairs
and by the time I realised I was just getting into the swing of things :p

And dull day. Dull, crap week.Although I feel rather sprightly now :D

How's yours been?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:19, Reply)

Wet
You know how it is.
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:21, Reply)

*nods*
Any exciting plans for the evening?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:28, Reply)

Trying to decide
Not sure if it's worth going all the way back into town again, especially if I'm just going to get soaked doing it. Hmm...

Any exciting weekend plans?
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:31, Reply)

My mate is cooking me dinner later
and my housemate is away for the weekend.

So I think I will just have a relaxing weekend. Should probably look for jobs :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:33, Reply)

Bonus!
Have you tried Gumtree? I can usually find something of interest there!
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:34, Reply)

I'll have a look thanks :)
I have applied for a job I really want though, but I know I can't afford to hang all my hopes on that! Which sucks as it means I am applying for stuff I don't really want :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:41, Reply)

Good evenings folks!
I have hula hoops and vodka and lemonade with a slice of lemon.

This is what Friday evenings are all about.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:41, Reply)

I have strongbow woo!
And have just remembered how much I love the song "Letting the Cables Sleep"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:47, Reply)

I have just realised
that I find Jilly Goulden strangely attractive. Is that wrong?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:49, Reply)

Hi No3l
I have no alcomahol :(

*jealouses*
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:49, Reply)

Yes
Yes it is Noel
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:50, Reply)

*passes Moniker vodka*
But but but! She's all bubbly and happy and I happen to find that really lovely :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:53, Reply)

There is a new HSH thread
*ushers everyone over*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:58, Reply)

Cheers!
And don't worry No3l, these things pass. Or just drink some more.
(Moniker, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:58, Reply)