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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's Fucking Friday
You fucking fucks.


(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 7:48, 224 replies, latest was 17 years ago)
Fucker!
Morning hon.

My hangover will be legendary.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:02, Reply)
Good fucking morning.
Are you waiting for your hangover to kick in? Or are you out tonight?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:07, Reply)
Good morning
you pair of bastards!

How goes it?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:18, Reply)
Nah, I feel quite shitty now
It'll be the hangover I tell my grandkids about.

My body yearns for Yazoo strawberry milk and Walkers prawn cocktail crisps... and bacon.

The latter would probably be a bit insensitive to the ten muslims I work with :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:18, Reply)
Alright K2k6
You knob jockey.
You ok?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:22, Reply)
Yeah, I'm OK
A bit tired as I was gigging last night and had a fair distance to drive home in the fog and sleet, but there's nothing new in that!

Got this afternoon off though, so that's OK.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:25, Reply)
Morning folks
It's Friday. Fucking woo! =D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:27, Reply)
Doing anything exciting with your afternoon off?
Morning captain V, you sexual biscuit.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:29, Reply)
@Lusty
If you call going to the doctor's exciting, then yes.

Nothing serious or urgent, just something very minor I need taken care of.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:32, Reply)
Morning all
It's nearly the weekend! So that means working from bed instead of having to go to uni, wahey!

In other news, I'm going to pimp this post which is the one below this one, be a dear and go and read it. Please?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:32, Reply)
G'morning, Fuckers!
Just about to set off to work, waiting for my dawdling housemate as usual.

Fuck yeah, it's Friday!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:35, Reply)
Lusty
Don't start on sexual *shames*

A biscuit would be nice though so long as it's not a soggy one.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:40, Reply)
Morning All
What Lab said!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:42, Reply)
BK
You're waiting for your dawdling house mate? =p
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:45, Reply)
Damn!
Beaten to a witty retort by Captain V!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:45, Reply)
@captain V
Don't worry, I wouldn't even dream of giving you a spunk covered custard cream.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:48, Reply)
Haha!
I realised how it could read and then decided to leave it so sad pedants could pick up on it!

:p

*man hugs*

*edit* @ V
Lusty might not, I on the other hand have no such qualms!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:49, Reply)
I can't help but feel
That the lustful one was being sarcastic =p
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:50, Reply)
Right dears
Must go and be productive in uni unfortunately :(

Have good Fridays, one and all.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:50, Reply)
Good fucking morning you fuckers
I feel like death, how's everyone else?

And I have to go and see a doctor this afternoon which won't be fun.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 8:57, Reply)
Good Morning pt 2
And now i'm in work.

How is everyone today?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:04, Reply)
Morning...
After spending most of yesterday afternoon asleep in A&E, I hope for a day of no interruptions today.

It's Friday, but doesn't feel like it for some reason.
Maybe I've not been awake for long enough, but I'm not in a good mood.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:05, Reply)
Oh dear Kaol
Why the afternoon in A&E?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:09, Reply)
@captain V
I was being sincere!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:09, Reply)
Some prick here
Decided to rip the end of his finger off.
*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:10, Reply)
Wouldn't it be OK
to spend the afternoon asleep? Even if it is in A&E, and even if you have no b3ta access? OK, maybe the second bit is a killer...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:13, Reply)
It would be,
But I have far too many awful memories of hospitals.
So no, not a fun place to be :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:14, Reply)
Morning Bitches!


I vote George Takei to do the train station announcements.

That
Would
Rock.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:14, Reply)
Thank Fuck it's Crunchie Day!
Are you cool fuckers good!

I've decided that about two weeks of two - three hours sleep a night is not enough, but if somebody wants to talk to me till then fuck it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:14, Reply)
Morning everyone
the ability to type has somehow left my body overnight. How strange.

Is everyone ok?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:16, Reply)
Did you watch the documentary on health and safety people last night Kaol?
I didn't, so I don't know why I'm asking you! Saw it in the TV bit of the paper though, might watch it on Iplayer later as I don't think I'll be well enough for a drinking binge tonight.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:21, Reply)
Nope!
Last night I was rocking out in a shed :p

We've just treated ourselves to a Korg D888, and we were having our first go at live-recording a few songs.

Considering the setup we had (rubbish cables, one mic for the drums), the results are far, far better than other stuff we've done.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)
Oh Em Gee
Never before has a single comic echoed my pathetic existence.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:30, Reply)
@Kaol
The most important factor for home recording is not so much the quality of mics or cables, but correct use of the equipment you have.

It's particularly important to make sure your gain structure is optimised. You need to make sure your signal to noise ratio is at its best all the way through the signal chain, but also allowing a bit of headroom to prevent digital clipping.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:32, Reply)
Massive Nings!
Make of that what you will.

^I read that as 'groin structure'.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)
I'm really sorry Mr. K,
But I have no idea what any of that means :(

I'll copy and paste that in an email to my drummer though, so thank you :)

All I know as a result of last night is that if you scream the vocals on too many songs, too loud, you get one hell of a headache.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)
Groin structure?
Ha ha!

@Kaol, this should hopefully make it a bit clearer.

Edit - And here's another one.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:37, Reply)
Hi Drixy
you good this morning?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:38, Reply)
K2k6
I know. It's not even 10am and I'm already thinking about groins.

It's going to be a loooooooooong day.

Morning Dokksy! I'm good, thanks! You?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:39, Reply)
Morning again all
I've now made it into uni, and want to go home. Stupid classes getting in the way of my recreational time.

Also, as stated before, go check out the post below the HSH one on the main page. Please?


Was the Korg recorder mighty, Kaol?
(PenguinsOfDeath doesn't much like this, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)
Clendrix,
It's never to early for groin-based entertainment :p

Thanks Mr. K :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:42, Reply)
You made me sound like a rabbit!
A cute one, not a Wascally Wabbit!

Yeah I'm all kinds of good, and excited, the headache from yesterday went at about half two this morning so that was good!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:42, Reply)
Kaol...
but I only have my own groin here :(

Dok. You are cute. Fact.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)
*panics*
And I though I was a sexy beast! But now I'm relegated to the realms of cute :(

I'm sure you could find other groins of you looked for them ;)

EDIT and you're the second lady who's told me I'm cute recently.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:49, Reply)
The groins I'm likely to be interested in aren't here.
I'll busy myself with a croissant instead.
No, not in that way - the crumbs!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:50, Reply)
"Groins" is such a great word :D
In other news, this QOTW is rubbish.
Really, really fuckin' rubbish.

I think some "creative" posts are in order this week.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:57, Reply)
I posted a story for this week.
I actually have quite a few.

I think some of them are better left never told though!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)
I meant
outside your office. not in here.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 9:59, Reply)
I might stumble across it at some point, Ms. Lusty.
I have no stories of particular interest this week.
Biggest age gap was ten years, with me being 22.
Wasn't really a problem *shrugs*

So, yeah, lack of stories.

I've got the startings of one in my head though :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)
Well as k2 isn't here...
Kaol you dated a 12 year old when you were 22! *shakes head*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)
"I've got the startings of one in my head though"
Everyone! Run for your lives!

^Thanks V. Nice.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:03, Reply)
The QOTW
is no use to me this week.

I've never been with anyone more than 3 years my junior, and the only older GF I've had is the current Miss K, who's just a year older than me.

But I have read it just to see what other people get up to!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:05, Reply)
*sighs*
Why are you all so rubbish? :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:06, Reply)
Cos you love it.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:06, Reply)
Yeah...
Too fuckin' much sometimes...

I have no idea what that means :|
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Morning
It's Friday. It's Christmas Party day.

I intend to do no work and make up for all the time I have spent away from this thread this week by annoying the hell out of you all day.

So, how is everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Neither do I.
:-|
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:09, Reply)
Oh, K2 was there
This qotw is pretty repetitive so far. Hopefully the best of page will have some slightly more original stories in it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:10, Reply)
I've got a post which
accurately covers both last weeks and this weeks QOTW. Only problem is it involves the police.

Hmm.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:11, Reply)
Repetitive?
I am at least trying: b3ta.com/questions/cougars/post319969

And part II has just gone up.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:17, Reply)
That was brilliant scarpe =]
*clicked*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:20, Reply)
THREAD KILLER
THREAD KILLER!

EVERYONE POINT AT CAPTAIN V HES A THREAD KILLER!
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)
*cries*
*puts on the hat*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:37, Reply)
Oops!
Sorry V - had to go and force reluctant people into meeting (despite having provided pain-au-chocolat for them) and wasn't able to save you.

*prods Al*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:37, Reply)
*points*

*laughs*

*mocks*

*feels sorry for and buys a large drink*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)
*drinks large drink very quickly*
*falls over*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:42, Reply)
That's just ridiculous
why would anyone give up the chance for free pain-ou-chocolat.

Also, stop prodding me with that Clendrix, I don't know where it's been.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:42, Reply)
*shoves pillow under V*
*demands drink for self*

Al, you know full well where it's been.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:42, Reply)
*lands softly on pillow*
*slurs* Thanks you Clendrix....I thinks...I thinks I lub you!

*passes out*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:49, Reply)
Fuck it
I knew today was going to be bad when I woke up!

I'm drinking tonight with folks I've not seen in an ice age, which is good, I've left my wallet in my house, which is bad!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:49, Reply)
I am lubbed!
*happies*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:53, Reply)
But
I thought you knew that we all lub you Drixy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Aah!
*frowns*
*realises is in danger of becoming fluffy*
*goes outside for smoke*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:58, Reply)
'ningles all
Which one of you gave me this cold then?

come on!

own up, and take your punishment!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:02, Reply)
A fluffy Clendrix
would be bad as the golden syrup would be much harder to lick off.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)
Sorry hlt
I think it was me. I'm feeling better today though, still in bed mind as not completely better.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)
Morning Tulip
How are you today, got dry feet I hope?

Al if there was any danger of Drixy becoming fluffy I'd run like the wind!

EDIT It seams everybody has a cold at the moment. It wasn't me Tulip, I've been keeping my bad cold germs to myself.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)
This week's shitty comic
Number Nine

Apologies, this one is more of a wordy, work-related rant.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:10, Reply)
if it was you, al
then that's all right.

as long as I can have some of your lemsip. and a bit of your duvet.

@Dok - feet all dry thanks. how is you?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:10, Reply)
morning
Moring all? How goes it?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:18, Reply)
Well
Apart from only two hours sleep, the remains of a cold, and having left my wallet in the house this morning like a mong, I'm fine and dandy, and very happy still!

Glad you're feet are dry, there's nothing as bad as having wet feet when you can't dry then!

EDIT Morning Weekirst, very good thanks, you?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:19, Reply)
I only have ibuprofen
capsules, but you can have half the duvet.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:19, Reply)
as long as you're happy Dok!
I hope the sock pixies don't hide your wallet while you're gone though.

edit@al: how kind!

*dives in*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:20, Reply)
Morning weekirst
been a while since I've seen you here?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:22, Reply)
Oh Noes Teh Sock Pixies!
I need it for going out tonight though, and I can't get home first. Aaarrrggghhh, I'm such a mong!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:23, Reply)
Christ
Rathen and Amorous Badger are now trying to inflame a mini riot using Tourette's post.

Fucktards.

Anyone wanna gaz rob? I've already let my views be known.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:25, Reply)
@al
Blooming ages. Been concentrating on the job hunt massivly, which isn't getting me anywhere, so i'm takking the day off! :)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:26, Reply)
Linky please DG
what's going on?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:27, Reply)
current page of the QOTW
Rathen has cut and paste the whole post; and just below AB has put a link up inviting such a thing.

The cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)
twats
*boils*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)
I wish I could get my hands on them!
I'd show them a tasty time. My feet in their gobs!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:52, Reply)
see ya pals!
off home to me sofa :)

*hugs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 11:56, Reply)
What a bunch
of bastards Rathen et al are. I hope their cocks fall off.

if they're big enough to fall off, that is.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:02, Reply)
I had to leave my desk
I was seathing!

I don't understand why they would do that, in no way could it be taken as funny!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)
hmm
Ok.. I just couldn't see it. despite having just dyed my hair black i'm having a blonde moment.
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:29, Reply)
@ weekirst
I can't see it either!

And long time no hear! How've you been?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)
It's a weird day today.
/talk and /ot and /qotw all seem to be places for all kinds of strange and/or vitriolic posts.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)
Weekrist
It'll only make your blood boil if you do.

Oh Hi by the way, I don't think we've met before.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)
@Dok
I can't see it on the QOTW. Which one are we looking at?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:34, Reply)
@herr
I'm a long time lurker sporadic poster :)

@bk I'm very well. Having a skivy day. I'm fed up being unemployed... How are you??
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:37, Reply)
@ weekirst
That sucks, nothing in the pipeline at all?

I'm having a skivy day at work to be honest:)
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:38, Reply)
/Talkers
Can't stand them.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:41, Reply)
@bk
Nyit. naff all. Every job I apply for about 150 other people do to. Unemployment in ireland it at like a 20 year high ir something stupid like that. I signed on yesterday. A new low! I might even have to come back to the uk!! :O
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:43, Reply)
@ 'kirst
I heard it had gotten pretty bad over there.

I should really be working herd doing the job I have rather than procrastinating on here:D
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:52, Reply)
BK & Weekrist
It's on page 5 no. 3 and 4 from the top if you want to look.

Weekrist, well it's just great to meet, post more!

EDIT HI Lab!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 12:56, Reply)
I only spotted it
as I hadn't logged in. I've got both on ignore.

I note that the posts are still there... for now.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:02, Reply)
@herr
Well its nice to meet you too :)

I always mean to post then pocrastinate till the QOTW is over...
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:10, Reply)
I think I may have
finally shut JMG up.

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post320608#qotw-post-321087

If you scroll to the end and our rather extended thread.

I'm slightly happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:19, Reply)
Well done Al!
Right, can we kick some life into HSH today?

Is anyone doing anything fun this weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:22, Reply)
@ Dok
Fucking hell!

I'm just glad very few people replied as the tragic little fucker would take it as validation.

@al

Nicely done, good Sir.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:23, Reply)
@ Lab
I certainly am. Spending a lovely and well-deserved chill-out weekend with the good lady Lusty:D

Yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:24, Reply)
Beekers
I have my ex coming to visit for the weekend. We'll be off out to the pub to see some friends, and the rest of the time will be spent playing Rock Band and watching the Frankie Boyle DVD she bought me for my birthday! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:27, Reply)
@al
Hahaha! Thats ace. Why does jmg feel the need to be so agressive towards everyoe :O
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:27, Reply)
@ Lab
Sounds good, hope you have a good 'un!

In other news, this is piss funny
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/karen-matthews%3a-where-she-went-wrong-200812051440/
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:29, Reply)
Cheers BK!
I read that earlier, was a bloody good laugh! I love the Mash ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:32, Reply)
Good Noons All!
I trust this finds us all well!

I fear I've neglected my sweet B3ta recently, so just wanted to nip in and say hi!

(Also, I worry a bit. I think I'm starting to 'get' JMG. Strange times.)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:32, Reply)
I've enjoyed all these threads
but thanks to a busy day I've had terrible trouble keeping up.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:34, Reply)
Hey DiT!
How goes it?

'Getting' JMG?

*feels forehead*

You running a temperature?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:34, Reply)
Right
Let's see if I can stick around long enough to make sense of at least one strand of todays conversation...


edit: Sees DiT 'gets' JMG and realises he is already confused.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:38, Reply)
Much like BOAT
This is all passing me by.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:45, Reply)
Word up, Beekers!
Strangely, I am. That could be it, you know!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:45, Reply)
I'm genuinely curious
as to how you "get" JMG, given that he is yet to tell a joke.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:46, Reply)
Erm...
I think I have been suckered by one Mister Bert Monkeysex.

Which makes me feel a whole lot better, I can assure you!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:49, Reply)
@ DiT
I fell for Bert's pretty bang-on bit of parody as well!

*relieved it wasn't just me*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:52, Reply)
Jam Mister Geordie
Is a truly wonderful creation isn't he!

Now, important question time people o fthe internet. Do I have beans on toast, or a tin of Heniz Cream of Tomato Soup with a little cheese and bread?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:52, Reply)
@DiT
You were not alone, I assure you.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:52, Reply)
Hmm.
I'd go for the cream of tomato myself. Nice wintery lunchtime fud!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:54, Reply)
The tights have spoken
soup it is. See you later people i'm off to get creamy.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)
Al
Whatever you do, don't have sweetcorn chowder,

I just did and I am feeling very very ill.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)
Later al
I'd better get some work done too.

Got a massive backlog and it's just me in to do the ordering:s
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:56, Reply)
I think I only spotted it wasn't really JMG
from the lack of icon next to the name...

Pretty well executed Bert!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 13:59, Reply)
I assume you've all read Jam Mister's profile.
Class.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:07, Reply)
Well I'm back
From fighting Nazi zombies in a place beyond the normal confines of space and time.
In an intergalactic Ford people-carrier.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:08, Reply)
Kaol!
It's all turned weird in your absence.
But fun weird.
Mostly.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:09, Reply)
Well...
It never got weird enough for me :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:14, Reply)
Yeh...
figures, weirdy-features.

*dances around*
*prods Kaol with stick*
*runs away*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:19, Reply)
*prods thread with stick*
*runs away again*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:24, Reply)
*prods clendrix with his stick*
*runs away*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:24, Reply)
Whole Lotta Prodding
*prods self*

/wrong
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:28, Reply)
The new Hulk film
isn't bad.

*prods Clendrix*

*prods more*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:29, Reply)
*sits back*
*awaits prodding*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:30, Reply)
*prods Lusty*
*is prodded by Al*

Oh well. Another day of no work/essay.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:31, Reply)
*giggles*
Ohh that hit the spot.
Nothing like getting a good hard prodding from clendrix on a friday afternoon.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:33, Reply)
*prods both lusty and clendrix*

tee hee
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:34, Reply)
Prodding eh?
*ignores work back-log*

*grabs Rod Of DoomTM*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:34, Reply)
Oh Kaol...
*sighs*

This is gonna hurt.
*grits teeth*
*throws Al in pathway*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:36, Reply)
*takes one for the Clendrix*

Ooooooof.

You owe me for that.


I'll get the golden syrup
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:37, Reply)
Bring it on!
*wears a smile*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:37, Reply)
Nice
*wears a tin of golden syrup*


*and nothing else*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:43, Reply)
Happy friday afternoon!
It's pretty much the weekend, happy times :)

Are we all well?
(Moniker, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:43, Reply)
clendrix
And nothing else?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:43, Reply)
*gets cattleprod*
OK who wants a prod?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:43, Reply)
cheers dok
But clendrix has already taken care of me.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:47, Reply)
@lusty
Well, i'm hoping I might be wearing a Clendrix soon.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:47, Reply)
*sad*
I'm a bit slow today.

*hugs everybody*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:52, Reply)
I've talked to work,
And I'm borrowing a car for the weekend :D
Which is great, as I'm meeting a lovely lady tomorrow.

So yeah, the definition of classy, I'm picking her up from a Macdonalds in Harlow, in a battered beige Ford Transit.

I sure know how to treat a woman...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:53, Reply)
Lusty
and nothing else!

*adorns Al*

Kaol, I hope you have some nice treats in store for her.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:53, Reply)
Kaol
Ohh, off on a date are you? I hope you have a great time!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:55, Reply)
Not exactly a date, nope.
Just showing a friend a good time.

If it's not raining, I'm gonna take her for a walk in Epping Forest.

And not kill her and burn the body.
THAT's how to treat a woman well.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:57, Reply)
Kaol,
you're a true gent.
*envies lucky lady*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:58, Reply)
Kaol
You're such a charmer.

The Epping Forest idea's a good one!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 14:59, Reply)
Do any of you nice London types
have any suggestions for fun things to do and nice places to go for my wee jaunt down your way?

I'm mostly looking for helpful and useful suggestions here, but I'm not getting my hopes up to much!
(Moniker, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:01, Reply)
Even if I change my mind
The van's diesel, so I won't be able to syphon petrol to start the blaze.

Well, I could, but it won't be as easy.

I guess that's why vans have those gigantic tyre-irons behind the seats.

Er...
No, I'm a charming gentleman!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:01, Reply)
@Kaol
Anything other than that would be considered showing off in 'arlow.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:03, Reply)
@Moniker
The London Aquarium is really good and worth a visit.

In other news, I just let the guy in the read my leccy meter, and I'm still in my PJs and dressing gown.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:08, Reply)
Bomchickawowow
Does he have a moustache, Al?

And a comprehensive tool belt?

Afternoon all.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:10, Reply)
Cheers al
Can't believe you're still in your pjs tho!

*jealouses*
(Moniker, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:12, Reply)
In my defence
I've been ill.

But he still could have offered at least some sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:18, Reply)
Al
If I'd know you were still in your pjs, I would have been even more a-quiver today.

Wookers, the wheelchair disappeared. Wheely Man could be anywhere...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:21, Reply)
I think your mistake
was in wearing a dressing gown rather than a smoking jacket. I doubt a pipe could have hurt either.

EDIT - Oh noes! He's on the loose again. I shall be spending this evening up some stairs, for safety.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:22, Reply)
I've had enough
Today has been shit, work has been slow, and I've just had both cases crash out on me.

I'm off home now, hope y'all have a great weekend!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:26, Reply)
I'm glad
I've never encountered Wheelie Man, with the amount of fear he inspires in you two he must be terrifying!

*glees for no reason*

EDIT Bye Lab.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:27, Reply)
There are some aspects of Wheely Man that are funny,
but only if you're with Wookiee when he appears.

If Wookiee wasn't there, I would be forced to overturn the chair and run away.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:31, Reply)
Aw Drixy
you are awful.

Cripple Tipping = OfficeLOL
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:33, Reply)
*gossips*
The receptionst at work has just spent 20 minutes telling me that she shagged someone from the accounts department.
Apparently he's got a really big cock.

Just thought you'd all want to know.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:34, Reply)
oooo
Gossip!

*gets excited like a girl*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:38, Reply)
It's the most exciting thing
that's happened to me today and it didn't even happen to me.

Oh dear.

*is boring*

:(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:42, Reply)
That's the most exciting thing that's happened to me all week
And it happened even less to me =[

*is very boring*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:43, Reply)
Four out of seven. Rubbish.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7767038.stm

Although Mighty Mouse sounds good.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:45, Reply)
6 out of 7 for me
Although one was a lucky guess and a second a bit of of an educated stab.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:46, Reply)
The trainee office-girl
Was talking about the fact that she had some lump in her face.
Under the skin, near the back of the jaw.

I said "I'd check it out for you, but I don't know you well enough to touch your face."

She said "It's fine, touch away."

So, of course, the factory manager walked in on me touching her face :|

Gossip spreads like wildfire here.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:47, Reply)
Kaol is the Office Tart

I'm not sure who the office tart is in my my office.
*looks around*
*has own office*

*tarts*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:48, Reply)
3/7
I always lose touch when I'm A Celebrity is on...
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:52, Reply)
He He
I got 5/7.

I am Mighty Mouse.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:54, Reply)
Heh
Just been following the Jam Mister Geordie thread. Spot on.

What's next? Stair Master Geordie?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:55, Reply)
Davros
Nice one! Quick, make it so!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:00, Reply)
The office tart?
*frowns*

To be fair, she did have a nice face.
But still, it wasn't like my tongue was in her mouth.

EDIT: She still does have a nice face, I didn't mean to imply that I'd mutilated it :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:05, Reply)
*smiles a secret smile*

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:08, Reply)
Huh huh huh
Secret Smile is a euphemism for something I think
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:11, Reply)
Secret smiles?
Drixy, do tell!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:11, Reply)
Absolutely not!
I don't divulge everything, you know.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:12, Reply)
Did anyone else notice this in the newsletter?
STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff.

* A BIG INTERNET GUN TO SHOOT TROLLS WITH -
just a personal request.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:13, Reply)
You tease!

(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:13, Reply)
OH RLY?
*divulges something to Clenders*

I'm a mighty mouse, and I'm surprised tha tOzzy Osbourne is older than motorways.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:13, Reply)
Hey Hey all
clickmeforavirus.com

Hope you like it you bunch of scrotes!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:14, Reply)
Er... Ok!
I just found out some bad news.
While drunk several weeks ago, I agreed to for "Christmas Drinks" with the people in the village that I live it.

This village had about 20 people.
While they're not inbred, they're all old and boring.

Yet again my weakness for "free wine" has let me down :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:14, Reply)
Al
I knew that, it didn't suprise me at all when I found out.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:15, Reply)
Kaol
You're going to be the entertainment for the evening.* When is it? Is it a school night?

*again
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:16, Reply)
Now, stop distracting me please people
I'm trying to hang the washing up.

No-one is allowed to be interesting on the internet until I come back. OK?
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:18, Reply)
*waits til Al has gone*
*gives Lusty a boob rub*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:19, Reply)
It's tonight :|
So much for my exciting plans...

Ok, so all I'd be doing is drinking whisky and playing Fallout...

But still...
*sighs*

I worry that there's not much I'd not agree to if there was free wine involved.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:20, Reply)
Uh oh!
*gazzes Kaol*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:20, Reply)
*enjoys boob rub*
*goes a bit wobbly*

*rubs clendrix's boobs back*

Oh noes! I've got a little wee patch on my chair now :(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:21, Reply)
Little?
My chair is soaked.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:22, Reply)
*grabs some free wine*
Oh kaol! *whistles innocently*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:22, Reply)
Oi!
I saw that you two, you're both on warnings. Don't make me come round there!
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:22, Reply)
Ha!
Don't make me come round there
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:23, Reply)
It would
take a great deal of anesthetic to stop myself doing that while you and lusty are getting it on clenders.

And you know it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:27, Reply)
It's alright
I'll get the thread killer hat myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:37, Reply)
*puts on hat*

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:38, Reply)
Thats a full blown
suit rather than a hat.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:39, Reply)
I was
going to move on to that but you managed to break teh silence in time.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:40, Reply)
Oh Al's fully blown, all right.



Has everyone else gone already?
Work-shy bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:40, Reply)
Thanks for that Clenders

*hobbles off to look for tissues*
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:41, Reply)
Nope I'm still here
Just watching the show from the dark corner!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:42, Reply)
No...
I'm actually working!
*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:43, Reply)
*steps out of the shadows*
Well folks I'm off down t'pub. Laters!

*waves*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:50, Reply)
I'm now procrastinating about my essay again :(
Can't leave here to visit my friend until 6.30pm.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 16:51, Reply)
I'm here
Was getting dressed up for my Heroes and Villains cjhristmas party.

I cheated. I am wearing a suit with a blue Superman logo T-shirt underneath so I can just open my buttons in a 'Clark Kent changing' pose if anyone questions me.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:00, Reply)
You're gonna end up
Getting pissed and ripping your buttons off, aren't you?

Then you'll burn yourself :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:01, Reply)
^Ha!

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:02, Reply)
I am
fairly certain I will be going home buttonless.

But I am superman, so I cannot be burnt.

*realises that that mindset is likely to end in pain*
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:03, Reply)
*kicks thread to death*
Take that, you bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:22, Reply)
Right...
I've set up a Friday night thread, in case anyone gives a shit.

*kicks out all the drunks*
*locks up*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 17:23, Reply)

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