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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Ning feathermuckers!
The sun is sheeining here, and it's almost light when I get into work. I saw the first new shoots of the year last weekend... Spring is coming!

Oh, and CUNTYPOPS!

Today's thread sponsored by Tampax
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:04, 334 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning
Made it into work today courtesy of a collegue.

Strangely, the only part that's hurting is my shoulder - I seem to have escaped remarkably whiplash-free.

Edit: and curiously, the site where I work seems to still be covered in snow, despite it having thawed out everywhere else in the area.
(

rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:09, Reply)

Good(ish) news there ducky
Still sucks about the car though.

Are you going to try and replace it, or aim for something different?
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:20, Reply)

Morning all
It's not spring here - it's heavy snow! I took a good while longer to get here because of people driving very slowly. Not that I would have been going fast, of course, but some folk just take it too far, which leads others not to leave as big a gap as they should.

I saw one shunted-up-the-arse-at-a-junction type accident this morning, but surprisingly no more.

Sorry to hear about the Jag, rubberduck.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:33, Reply)

Morning, cumdumpsters!
It really sucks about your car Ducky, but I'm very glad you're ok!

I had my first skid on ice today, nothing major, just slid the back end out a little bit before correcting. It was actually quite fun!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:33, Reply)

Morning Lab
Correcting the rear end is a bit more intuitive than correcting a front end skid. It's also more fun, because you can go sideways.

I got some funny looks as I passed dozens of cars on the dual carriageway this morning, as the only car in the outside lane. They were all nose to tail, doing about 25mph, and I managed a whole 35mph on a snowier bit of road, with no danger of shunting the car in front.

Made sense to me, but obviously not to everyone.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:40, Reply)

Ducky
Sorry to hear about the car, but at least you're OK.

K2, it always makes me wonder about people driving in the snow, down here even 25 is way to fast for them.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:55, Reply)

We've still got loads of snow
but it's frozen solid, making walking on it quite fun! I think I've buggered my ankle though... no idea how, but it's painful to walk on. Bah!
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:55, Reply)

Morning all
Sorry to hear about your car, duck! Glad you're alright though...

Any ideas on what to replace it with yet?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:57, Reply)

Morning folks
I got to work without trouble today, hooray, but I was late anyway, booooo! I've got into the habit of leaving about half an hour later than I should in large part due to me reverting to my natural sleeping pattern. I had an early night last night - I went to bed at 1:45...

Also, got my tapers in now and they keep knocking on my collar. Feels very funny.

:edit: And ducky I'm glad you're alright, shame about the car though.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:58, Reply)

Taping Tapers
Can cause typographical errors.

1:45 is normal for me.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:07, Reply)

I can understand
why London is hit hard when it's snowing, because it's so busy. But up here, it isn't so much of a problem.

There's a couple of inches of snow here, and more is falling, but all the schools are open and all the buses are on time. The roads are a bit snowy, but easily passable, and only one street is closed in Dundee, which is the Hilltown, a 1 in 6 gradient.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:07, Reply)

It's because people are idiots!
Partially because we don't have much snow, and partially because everyone seems to be a fuckwit, nobody seems to have the slightest idea how to drive in it. Pathetic really.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:09, Reply)

Cheers everyone
K2 - I usually find that 'virgin' snow offers more grip anyway than stuff that's already been packed down into ice. I got some very strange looks last Friday as the only driver to use the snow-covered lane 3 of the M40.

I'm not sure what do do about the car replacement to be honest. My heart says to find another one the same. My head tells me that I ought to find something more sensible (well, until the XFR drops below about £25k anyway...)

I'm just thoroughly pissed off about the car. Aside from its voracious appetite for petrol and tyres, it was bloody perfect.
(

rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:09, Reply)

Dok
Lately 2:45 has been normal time for me =/
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:12, Reply)

Well, duck
My boss (big boss, not the one who currently has the XF) had an S-Type R, and he replaced it with a Continental GT, so that'd be my recommendation :P

Not sure if you could get one for £25k though!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:15, Reply)

Bugger about the car ducky
When my MGF was written off I went for a diesel 4-door. I quite like it, a bit more sensible.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:17, Reply)

Duckie
Get a fiesta they are all of the awesome!

/deliriousnessness
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:17, Reply)

Sam
Nah - I'm not a fan of German machinery in general. Since the Conti GT is essentially a tarted up VW Phaeton, that's enough to dissuade me...

That, and the ever so minor fact that I can't afford one.
(

rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:18, Reply)

I recommend
One of these.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:19, Reply)

It's a tarted up VW
but they don't have nearly the same level of trim...

I don't think I've ever been in a building as luxurious as that car. Lambs wool shag pile carpeting!

Most if not all of my recommendations would be German I think. Although maybe not if you want something less than about ten years old.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:23, Reply)

What about a Tesla?
They look nice.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Go steal
a DBS :D Then give it to me
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:25, Reply)

I've always wanted a bubble car
They rock!
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:30, Reply)

If it's only rear end damage to the Jag
Transplant the engine into something really really shit looking, and have fun burning people off at traffic lights.

My mate's brother built a car consisting of a rusty Montego estate body held together with gaffer tape dropped onto an Impreza WRX chassis, engine & drivetrain. Slight waste of effort but he is a pretty ninja mechanic*, and you should see the boy racers' faces when you challenge them at the lights!

*This is the man who built a RWD Fiesta RS Turbo, 'to prove it could be done'
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:30, Reply)

MORNIN
God, I'm glad I don't drive. It sounds terrifying!

I had to be in work early today. And I was. Lots of "Bleedin ell, Roota, you wet the bed?" and "What have you done with her, and who is your leader??"
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:38, Reply)

*ponders*
I'm going to have to have a think about this. I think I want something that seats 4 comfortably, with the same level of performance as the Jag.

I've got a funny feeling I'll probably end up with another one...
(

rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:40, Reply)

The funny feeling
is probably all the wax you've eaten Duckie :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:42, Reply)

That fiesta sounds awesome

(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:44, Reply)

If it has to seat 4 comfortably, with the same performance as the Jag
and you don't want anything German, then it sounds like it is gonna be another Jag!

Edit: @ V, one of my first cars was a standard (i.e. FWD) Fiesta RS, absolutely mental car. Rolled it over a hedge and into a field and wrote it off... There's no need for turbos in cars of that size!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Morning all!
Working from home is brilliant! I've got two laptops by me.

One with an excel spreadsheet on, the other's got facebook and B3ta on it.

Which one do you think will get more of my attention....?
(The Stig, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:45, Reply)

It depends if the excel
spreadsheet has work or links to porn on it.

Duckie I think you should build a Duckiemobile! Kaol can supply you with the wood for the interior trim :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Perhaps badger
Something like this.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Morning cuntbubbles
I'm still in bed as I'm late shift today. It's a beautiful sunny day, but looks very cold out there.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:49, Reply)

*jaw hits desk*
That is teh best thing ever!!! Do it Duckie!

Hey Becky!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:50, Reply)

@TGB
Nope, just boring old numbers on it! I would put some pretty pictures of puppies (nice alliteration) on it, but I don't think my boss would be terribly impressed!

Duckie, check out www.autoebid.com

There are some fantastic bargains on there. You can pick up a Jaguar XJ diesel for £32K or an X-Type (fully loaded) for £25.5K.

There's loads of other bargains on there, too.
(The Stig, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:51, Reply)

I think if I saw one of those on the road
I'd probably crash due to uncontrollable laughter. Kinda want to build one now but it's not something I'm easily capable of doing, I lack any sort of money for such endeavours and I don't really have the time.

If somebody makes me a duck car I'll pay them a fiver.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:53, Reply)

That duck car is awesome, I want one!
Morning becks.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Morning again
It's freezing outside, I think I'll stay in as much as possible today.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:55, Reply)

More car madness
family.go.com/images/upload/contest/halloween-costume/jillmontoya15682398369.jpg
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:57, Reply)

I found
this car yesterday, which is pretty impressive, especially for how cheaply he did it.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:01, Reply)

You're all still going on about cars
*sigh*
*plays with boobs*
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:05, Reply)

*is torn between boobs and cars*
*head spins from side to side*
*brain asplodes*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:06, Reply)

I don't do car talk
May I join you Becky?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Ducky
Take the engine out and put it in a Mini Moke, that should give you hair raising speed.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:07, Reply)

You already did car talk Lab
But you're welcome to play with your boobs as well :)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Lab, Becky
May I bring my boobs to the table also?
Bloody cars...
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Sure thing roota
My car talk extends to skidding on the way to work, all talk of engines, car types and anything mechanical is beyond me.

*plays*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Don't blame me for this one!
They were talking about cars way before I got here!
(The Stig, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:12, Reply)

oooh boobs!
*snuggles up to Lab's moobs*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Everyone contributed Stig, so I blame everyone
*tweaks*
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Oi Badger!!
I don't have moobs!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:16, Reply)

if you say so Lab
*squeezes* honk honk
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Fuck you! They don't go honk!
They play the dixie horn.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Mine
play the Benny Hill theme
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:20, Reply)

hehe
sorry Lab *huggles* We should meet for a drink next week and make Duckie come as well as he keeps blowing us off
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:20, Reply)

*smirks* blowing us off!
I can't do next weekend, I'm in Portsmouth :/
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:22, Reply)

Great!
From car talk to orgies!

That's quite a leap...
(The Stig, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:22, Reply)

You all have most odd mammaries
*is secretly jealous as mine play nothing at all*
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:24, Reply)

becky
maybe you're squeezing them wrong. Every pair has their own theme tune. You just have to coax it out.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Lab you perv
Wipe that smirk off your face
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:26, Reply)

What have I done now?!
I'm not a perv!

An admirer of the female form, sure, but not a perv!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:29, Reply)

The talk of boobies
Is far better than the talk of cars.

How is everybody today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Ooh I just got a verse of Alouette
so it's not all bad ;)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:31, Reply)

gentile alouette
Je te plumerai!

Hmm, plucking boobies...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:32, Reply)

My boobs
play the top gear theme there is no hope for me!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:32, Reply)

Why are people in TESCO car park in stevenage
such total and utter retarded FUCKMONKEYS!

If you see a car a good thirty metres or so reversing out of a space, surely most people would wait for them to come out rather than desperately swerving behind them in an attempt to save a crucial five seconds on their day.

Next time something like this happens I really want to twat someone with the crowbar I keep in my boot.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:34, Reply)

I sympathise Al
And I would provide an alibi for you.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Kill em Al
kill em all! Fucktards.

Ooh ranty ranty in my office from one of the guys. This is going to be a day long sulk now
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:37, Reply)

There's one answer I can give you Al
Don't shop in Tescos Stevenage.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Thanks Dok
That's the obvious answer, but it's on my way to work, and I feel less bad about being late when I'm in a shop five minutes from the office than if I was late shopping in the satansburys next to my house.

Also, POST WHORE ALERT I take it you have all seen my post POST WHORE ALERT
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

I like your post al
Nice and subtle, I was very tired when I read it last night and it took me a couple of seconds to get it...

Don't go to Stevenage, that's clearly the solution.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:41, Reply)

For some reason
I always thought Stevenage would be quite a nice upmarket sort of place.

Then I had reason to visit it on a work trip a few years back.

My opinion changed. Fuck me, it's a shithole.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:53, Reply)

K2
Are you actually Billy Joel?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:56, Reply)

*saves Sam from the hat*
That's Dok's hat :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:03, Reply)

@Sam
No, I've just been quoting his lyrics all week!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Sam
You're thinking of the classic piano ballad, "Stevenage is a shithole".
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Not again!
Al, stop pimping!
Unless it's me. God knows, I could use the action and you could use the cash.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

G'morning Clendrix :)
God, is it 11am already?

Someone entertain me please.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Morning Labs.
I am already entertaining one b3tan this morning, and then I have two meetings, followed by a smoke with another b3tan.

Then I have to go home and do housework.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:08, Reply)

No Sam
You can't have the hat.

Only 11 o'clock, gods the day is dragging, it may just me though.

Morning Drixy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Good save badger!
Good Sam teamwork...

I would try and entertain you Lab, I can't even entertain myself today though.

I am considering sabotaging something just so I have to go and fix it, that's how bored I am today.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Today is dragging
massively

bored bored bored bored

*dances to entertain people*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Who here feels that their pants contain too many 20p pieces
and not enough sex?

If so, today could be your lucky day.

I have one rather busty and smiley b3tan just waiting to get it on with you. Gaz me for more details.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:13, Reply)

I have a steady flow of work
But I'm still bored. I might draw a comic, just need some inspiration.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:14, Reply)

@K2
At least you don't live near the place! There are only 2 reasons I ever go there: 1) The cinema there is better than Harlow 2) If I get caught out by a cancellation it's the most convenient alternative train station for me to go to. Otherwise I avoid it like the plague which raises the question of what on Earth Al was doing shopping in Stevenage!
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:16, Reply)

@Al
You're not pimping out clendrix for 20p a go, are you? FFS!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:17, Reply)

Just a thought
Where's Bert been/gone?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:17, Reply)

Woo
I just got a free magazine in the post called 'The Engineer's Guide to New Products and Design Ideas'

Sounds more interesting than doing work! Fuck knows why they're sending it to me, I'm not a design engineer, although I find that sort of thing interesting.

Edit: yeah, where is Bert?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Of course not K2k6
I'm pimping her out for 20p and packet of jelly tots. But I don't tell you about the jelly tots until afterwards, then I strong arm them out of you with my "heavies"*

*may refer to testicles.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Boo!
hi y'all!

Just got home.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Sam
If you can work out why I can't select the .ogg profile when using sound juicer or rhythmbox in Ubuntu and I get an error whenever I try to rip anything (using a selectable profile) saying that it can't parse caps quoting a small part of the gstreamer text from the profile you'd be my hero. Even if I copy the .ogg settings over to a profile I can select I still get the error.

I've searched the net like a loon and can't find mention of the error I'm getting anywhere and can't find a solution to the first even though people seem to have trouble with it.

:edit: Home eh? That's what the kids are calling it these days...
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:20, Reply)

I used to get a free magazine
from Quark Express. I have no idea why, as I'm a scientist, not a graphic designer.

But this magazine was possibly the worst laid out, hard to read publication I've ever had the misfortune to set eyes on. Obviously produced by people whose heads were so far up their own arses they couldn't see their own work. Garish wasn't the word for it.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Hello, y'all
Surely the blood dripping should've been left until tomorrow (Friday 13th?)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:23, Reply)

I've put the shit amongst the pigeons
And the cat has hit the fan. I got an information request from a guy in another organisation regarding a shared project that's currently being planned. I was about to send an email with some attached source code when I figured I ought to run it past my boss first.
Lots of running around and hushed conversations in corners and a memo comes round from 3 levels up about proper channels for adhoc requests. BOOM!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:24, Reply)

V I read that as
"blah blah geek shit blah blah"

Yo VC.

Al I'm bored too but my thigh is twanging so I need a good rub
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Sorry
do you want me to rub your thigh TGB?

When did I say I was bored? I think you may have confused it with whored.

Which is what i'm doing.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Well if I'd known Sam was going to be looking for work today
I'd have taken saved some screen dumps last night to email to him. If only I'd got around to learning how to SSH into my machine from windows (or at all for that matter)...

I forgot to add the "you'd be my hero" part to my post full of geek.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Hello VC :)
How are you?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:28, Reply)

I'm exceedingly well
riding on a high.

I love it.

How is everybody here?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)

~~high~~ cock
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:34, Reply)

I dunno what I was on about
I actually want Clendrix to rub my thigh.

Fuck off Al
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Good Grief
Who isn't bored today, I'm sitting here waiting till it's time I can go and see my girlfriend. Dragging is not the word for it now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:33, Reply)

I'm in an excellent mood VC
I'm starting to get back in the swing of actually getting stuff done, my ears have been stretched, things in my love life are going quite well (although there is great potential for it to get hugely complicated) and I'm going skiing tonight.

Happy days.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:33, Reply)

ahaha
Al got told!
Crash and Burn Al....crash and burnnnn.

EDIT: V - sounds awesome! Dok - I know the feeling. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:34, Reply)

V
Absolutely no idea! Despite being a geek I don't really use Linux, I have Ubuntu installed on an old machine to piss around with but it involved far too much fiddling around with for my liking... I like my computers to just work.

I can't remember the name of the Windows .ogg encoder I've used, but tbh I couldn't hear any benefits over ripping to mp3 with CDex set up properly.

Morning VC!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:34, Reply)

GF Dok?
Is this the one who lives somewhere south of you? Did I just make that up?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:34, Reply)

VC
You might wanna check Al's reply to your post above ;)

I'm alright thanks, tired, but the comes from staying out til 1am drinking with a friend, who dumped a lot of personal stuff on me, then started to hallucinate.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Damn it Lab
those pink elephants wearing top hats were real! Real I tell ye!!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:37, Reply)

ahah
that's just cos Al wishes it was his cock I'm riding.

But I'm just Happy. With a capital H. I like a girl and she likes me and everything is good :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:37, Reply)

~~girl~~ goat
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:40, Reply)

SW Actually dear Badger
Dorset to be a bit more precise.

Spending the whole weekend with her. WOOHOO, much sexyfuntiems.

VC So when's you date?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Well sort of
had a mini one tonight - she drove all the way from one town to the town where I work just to give me a lift home - and we talked for ages in the car before I got out about an hour after we got to my house.

And it's sunday.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Fair enough Sam
I might just install a different program to rip with. Not entirely sure why I ended up ripping my whole music collection in .ogg anyway. Sure on principal I prefer the format to .mp3 but considering neither my mp3 player or my sister's old ipod that I use with my ski jacket support .ogg it's a bit mad!

Too lazy to rip it all again right now though.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Oh, she likes you? Good news!
Badger, sadly these hallucinations were a bit more sinister, but I managed to get her calm and into a cab safely. I r teh gentleman.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Always the perfect gentleman Lab
Which is why we all love you.

I am so tired. And hungry but don't want to eat my lunch now as I'll have nothing to eat later :( Unless I go home and have that risotto...
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:42, Reply)

~~love~~ want to suck
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:43, Reply)

You're too kind al!
It's nice to know things like that.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

I think
there's a third party firmware you can flash an iPod with so it supports .ogg. Not sure though, I've never bought into it that much, it seems like a solution in search of a problem. Did some proper ABX tests and I couldn't hear a difference between it and mp3...

mp3 gets a lot of unfair criticism because people listen to it on shit replay systems. If you have flat response speakers even a 128k mp3 is pretty much indistinguishable from .wav, because of the way it works.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Vamp
Woo and Yay for mini date. She must like you a lot if she'd do that for you. I hope it all goes really great for the two of you.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

/blush
thank you dok! :D

She's really sweet. You guy's would all like her I think..
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:48, Reply)

I don't like anyone
Why aren't there any direct trains from London to Leamington on Sunday? *grrs*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:49, Reply)

~~don't~~ ~~anyone~~ cock.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Because
trains are shit!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Well, given that she's an 18 year old lesbian
I think it's a dead cert that we would like her.

But on a less pervy nature, 128kbps mp3s can sometimes suffer from a sort of washy watery noise in the background of quiet sections due to the forced sampling of silence.

I rip everything in VBR using EAC and having tested it through my Hi-Fi, there really is no difference that you can hear.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Sam
I meant I object to it on the principal of it being proprietary, I agree with you entirely on the subject of quality. So long as you use a decent bitrate, be it average or fixed, it's going to sound fine.

I think the firmware you're thinking of is rockbox. Imo it's way better than the default ipod firmware in many ways but it's biggest trump card is that you can just drag and drop your files rather than being forced to use that heaping pile of shit that is itunes. Unfortunately I have to use the default firmware though as rockbox doesn't support the use use of the use connection for remote controls like the one in the sleeve of my jacket.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Must be rail works
They usually fuck up the rail network on Sundays
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:52, Reply)

Doesn't look like any trains leaving from Marylebone.
So yes I am ~~annoyed~~ Al edit incredibly horny for hot sex
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Yeah you are!

Nice one.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Oh yes Vamp
I'm sure we would like her, but not in the same way that Al would.

Badger, it's because trains are crap, I'm glad I'm not coming home till Monday.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:55, Reply)

she's
19 Al.

20 later this year.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Mmmmmmm
There's nothing better than a nineteen year old if you ask me.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:57, Reply)

Dok you perv
My ~~tummy is rumbling~~ Al edit slit is incredibly moist

Al edits are kinda fun!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:59, Reply)

If she's nearly 20
then she's a peadophile. You're only 16 for goodness sake!

I'm shocked and disgusted and will be writing to Kevin Rudd to make sure he stamps out that kind of filthy behaviour in Australia.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Yeah you do get some artefacts like that, particularly apparent on cymbals
That's usually down to incorrect encoder settings though.

Not sure what you mean by 'forced sampling of silence'?

mp3s work by removing frequency bands that are masked by other frequencies, because your brain will fill in the gaps afterwards.

The thing is they presume that your replay system is perfectly flat (which nothing ever is, outside a treated studio. Although they couldn't work from any other assumption). If you have perfectly flat 20-20k replay then it will sound fine, most of the problems are down to inconsistencies in the replay system rather than the lossy compression, if you see what I mean.

Psychoacoustics is a very interesting subject.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I have to say
TGB doing the edits herself is really starting to give me the horn.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Al
I'm 17.
And she's gorgeous enough that I'd go out with her even if she was 25.

I'd also do her at that age too.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Badger
I'm not a perv, I did ask out a twenty year old once though, and a lesbian, but not at the same time, and they weren't the same people.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Did you ask out the
20 year old when you were 20?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:03, Reply)

aha
If I was going to go out with a guy - I'd want them to be older.

Most guys my age are so immature they're like 12 year olds. 10+ years age difference between me and him (him being older) would be ideal if I were going to go the pork sword.

However - girls my age I get along very well with. already like this girl to pieces.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:04, Reply)

How old were you when you asked out the 20 year old Dok?
A little younger than you are now? 56 perhaps?

*hides*

@VC/Al Yes we must stamp out the terrible things going on in Australia. Lets filter the internet!

:edit: Dammit. It appears I'm not old enough for VC. My dreams have been shattered ='[

:edit2: @TGB Dok has never been 20 and you know it! *hides again*
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:04, Reply)

25 isn't old
And neither is 28. Why would you imply that 28 is old. Why would you do that!? WHY!? I'm not getting old! I'm not even middle aged!

OH FUCK THE LOT OF YOU!

*runs off crying*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:05, Reply)

~~crying~~ wanking
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:06, Reply)

how old are you V?
You're nice.
maybe you could be an exception.

EDIT: Al I'm not saying that at all - I'm just saying I'd like someone olDER. come back here you silly goose! /huggles al.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:06, Reply)

The optimum age for a girlfriend
Is half the guy's age plus 7 years. I'm guessing with lesbians it's more one to one.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Badger
A year younger than I am now, in fact it was last Easter.

V no need for that, I'm like Al, not middle aged yet! 20, I can't remember it to be honest?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:08, Reply)

I'm 21 VC
Not really sure how to describe how I behave though. Probably some sort of cross between somebody in their 30s and 7 year old.

:edit: I love you really Dok, I just couldn't resist it! Not sure what it is about your that makes me want to make fun, I don't really give a shit about how old or young people are (expect when it comes to sex, then they have to be at least 5). Perhaps it's because I like the way you protest things in your lovely accent so I'm giving you something to protest. Shame I can't hear it though.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:09, Reply)

hmmmmm
I shall reserve judgment for now V.

But you don't seem like a cunt. You're off to a good start :P

And Dok - you're not old. No one here is Old.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Chains
Well that makes most of the B3tans safe from me.*

My opinion is that there is no optimum age at all!

EDIT Exept for that Al guy, he's ancient.

*May contain traces of lie
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

28 is not old!
I'm not 28 yet though, although i'm not far off.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Woo
It's official - I'm not a cunt.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:13, Reply)

I'm sorry V
I'm going to have to correct you there. You accidentely put the word "not" into that sentence.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Fuck you Al
You old person.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:16, Reply)

al
play nicely or no sex films for you today!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:16, Reply)

I'm only 24
But frequently get called an old man. I don't mind though, these young whippersnappers don't know they're born these days.

I've only been out with one girl younger than me.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:17, Reply)

I'm 24 in 5 weeks
So you fuckers bet get me some awesome presents
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:18, Reply)

So
you're gonna be copying my age as well as my name eh?

Some people...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Captain
when your old enough to have sex legally then you can say "fuck you" until then you shall only be allowed to use the phrase "heavy petting you" or "heavy petting off".
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Yup
I'm copying everything about you Sam. Already put in my order for a Merc
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Fuck me, it's snowing.
And somewhat heavily, too.

Hello interwebbers.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:22, Reply)

wow
touchy about age here aren't we?

EDIT: Hey DG
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Haha
You can be a true takeaway delivery driver if you drive a beaten up old Merc!

I know someone selling a nice 190E for not very much, pretty thirsty on the petrol though. I'd rather be slower and cheaper hence why I drive a diesel.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:23, Reply)

I'm not touchy about my age at all
no siree Bob.

What I lack in youth, I make up for in immaturity.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:24, Reply)

I called the place about the job
and I think the guy said they only wanted delievery MEN but he had a very thick accent so I could have been wrong. Whatever the outcome it looks like I'll have to do a nice lady job like ~~cleaning~~ Al edit prostitution
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Sup dawgs
I'm back on form today, so if any insults/compliments are required, let me know.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)

I think everyone's fucked off
Bastards. In a loving way, natch.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:31, Reply)

I'm here
just waiting for someone to post something i can reply to.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:32, Reply)

I'm here
I'm just picturing TGB on a street corner with a miniskirt and fishnets.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:32, Reply)

OK, lunchtime.
The choices are:

1. Bacon and eggs
2. Fish and chips
3. Haddock pie and peas.

Any recommendations?
(The Stig, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:32, Reply)

And knee high PVC boots
yeah I know how to work it

Hey DG!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:33, Reply)

I'm here
Nearly lunchtime though. The highlight of my day.

Edit: I hope we get a new QOTW soon.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:33, Reply)

I'm here
Just got back from the loo. It was epic.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)

the highlight of my day
was not getting hit by a bus.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Erm
I've just come over all funny at the mental image of Badger working it on a street corner.

Naughty Badger.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)

I'm just going to the loo
I hope you haven't left it smelling too bad Lab. Or taken out your anger on the cistern or anything!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Hi DG
Work it for me Badger, work it hard.

EDIT Vamp, not being hit by a bus? Have you been playing in the middle of the road again?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:37, Reply)

*winks at DG*
I'll be as naughty as you want sugarpie
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:39, Reply)

OK Badg.
Go and tell a copper to fuck off. That's pretty damned naughty.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:41, Reply)

*tells stepdad to fuck off*
*gets sent to bed without any dinner*
*cries*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:42, Reply)

/guilty grin
yep. sorry dok. I have this suicidal tendancy to dance like nobodies watching in the middle of the road.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:44, Reply)

*Whoops*
Didn't mean to get you into trouble, Badger.

*Smuggles dinner in through window*

Right, lunchtime over, so much like my ex-wife's knickers, I'm off.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 12:45, Reply)

*wonders if DG took everyone with him*
*takes off boots and has a nap*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:08, Reply)

I haven't got them
Honest...
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:11, Reply)

Nope
I was just hiding in the corner.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:11, Reply)

*runs in and sniffs TGBs boots*

Mmmmmmmm, lady of the nighty.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:12, Reply)

I'm here
Just back from lunch and playing catch-up on the thread.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:17, Reply)

~~catch-up on the thread~~ with myself over the thought of TGB bending over in a dark alley.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:20, Reply)

Oh Al
You are naughty.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Thats scary
Apparently Al can read my mind.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:27, Reply)

~~read my mind.~~ come on my face.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:29, Reply)

I'm so very tired
I just want to go home and ~~masturbate furiously~~ *al edit* renew my tv license online, as it's so simple, and they have detector vans doncha know.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:32, Reply)

I can't help but feel
that there was something wrong with the last ~~gang bang~~ al edit.

Hmmmmm, seems to have ~~spunked all over your tits~~ happened again.

I've lost my mojo.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:35, Reply)

The detector van thing is bullshit!
Just ignore the letters, they'll send you progressively more arsy ones but not do anything else.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Lab
I actually renewed my TV licence online last night AND masturbated furiously.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:37, Reply)

I did think your edit was odd
I would have thought you'd agree with ~~frenzied fist-pumping with an explosively sticky ending~~ *al edit* the conscientious adherence to archaic bureaucracy.

Edit: LiC, at the same time? Is their website browsable one-handed?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Lab
I'll just say that as TV licence inspectors have no right to enter your property and that TV detector vans are inadmissible as evidence on the ground that they wont tell anybody what technology they're using (frankly I think it's scaremongering anyway). The only convictions I've ever heard about are when people let the inspector in to their house because they think they have to or they've admitted to using a TV to receive TV broadcasts.

That was a bit ~~ranty~~ Al edit randy, oh well.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Well
I do think that ~~standing in a circle vigorously ejaculating into TGBs open mouth~~ the TV licence is a good thing, stops all our TV being like american telly.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:42, Reply)

"Yes, Auntie Beeb, yes!"
Treat me mean! Take me for everything I've got! Punish me with period costume dramas!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Thanks Al
You spunk tastes funky
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:49, Reply)

I'm not so sure Al
I love the BBC and the fact that it's publicly funded but having people that want to watch TV foot the bill for radio, their web ventures etc. etc. doesn't sit well with me especially when you can watch most of the content online for free too. The TV licence just isn't fit for purpose.

As it's a great asset for the country and something to be proud of it'd be better for it to be paid for by the tax payer rather than the TV owner. Let anybody from anywhere in the world view all the content and listen to all the radio and we're sorted.

Could allow the bbc to advertise, in a strictly controlled manner, on their website to viewers outside the UK to recover some of the costs of the bandwidth international visitors use.

No need to arse about scaremongering to get people to pay a licence and we could be even more proud of our service because we'd have opened it up to the world.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:50, Reply)

The way they go about it is really cuntish as well
In my last flat I didn't watch TV at all. Had a TV for DVDs and games consoles, which means you don't require a license. Didn't have a single aerial in the place.

When I rang them up to point this out the guy in their call centre refused point blank to believe I didn't watch TV, as they assume everyone does and send letters to those without licenses. He said 'do you really expect me to believe you don't watch TV?'

Er... yes I do.

I gave up after that and threw their letters in the bin without opening them. They never came round despite threatening to many times. Fuck 'em, I say.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:55, Reply)

The problem with that idea, V
is that you'd get all of the 'I don't have a television so why should I pay?' crowd bleating about it.

But that applies to plenty of things. I wouldn't expect to be able to withhold the part of my council tax that goes towards street lighting just because I lived on a farm, for example. (I don't live on a farm, by the way - it's just an example!)

So I agree with you, in principle. Convincing the great unwashed might take more effort though.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:57, Reply)

The BBC do advertise on their website
if you are outside of the UK, they show some adverts on BBC Worldwide too.

If it were funded by the taxpayer surely there would be questions of government bias since they would control the funding, as it is, they do have a certain degree of independance.

And much as us tech savvy people love to download stuff for free regardless, we really are in a very small minority of the country, many many people just listen to the radio and watch telly.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:58, Reply)

@sam
Lets face it, the vast majority of people have a TV. Therefore they are going to have to display a reasonable amount of scepticism to people just phoning up to say "I haven't got a telly". It's not ideal, but otherwise, don't you think that most chavvy scum would do that?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 13:59, Reply)

I was in meetings
and therefore missed the whole 20p and Jelly Tots conversation.

Stupid work getting in way of fun.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Dont' worry Clenders
I had my first client. Captain V will be round shortly.

Don't let him leave without the jelly tots.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:03, Reply)

@k2
And that's pretty much why I don't expect it'd ever happen. It's not like it'd be a situation that's in any way unique but because it's been so shit for so long people just aren't going to change.

This is where benevolent dictatorships are full of win. They could sort all this out without having to give a shit about remaining popular. That's why I dislike democracy.

:edit: Al I didn't realise that. Nice to hear they're already doing something sensible but it's a shame that they haven't got something similar in place for the iplayer. Pisses me off that US networks block international viewers as it just pushes me towards piracy which they then complain about.

The situation with the big music labels is ever worse...
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:05, Reply)

But
I was sent a letter asking me to pay the license, which gave a number to phone if I had no TV receiving equipment on my premises. I phoned the number to express said fact, and was just met with rudeness and disbelief.

The vast majority of people may have a TV, but that is no reason to hound those of us who don't. I contemplated taking a massive shit in one of the envelopes they sent me and posting it back to them to express my opinion of their tactics, but decided against it.

It's scaremongering, pure and simple. Automatically sending official looking, threatening sounding letters to people is easier than doing any actual detecting or work or anything, because most people will be scared of them and pay up!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Wait a minute
For 20p I get Clendrix AND a bag of jelly tots? Sign me up!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Blimey,
I will be very busy, but on such a sugar high I won't care. Woo Hoo!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:09, Reply)

When is my appointment with Clendrix?
I have lots of jelly tots for payment
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:13, Reply)

No, no, no
The Jelly tots are for Clendrix. I should have made that clear.

That's a great attitude Sam, how would you like to open an envelope full of shit? It's just someone doing there job, you didn't lose out, so there no real need to get such an arse on is there. If someone did come round, you could just refuse to let them in, or just show them your lack of telly, again, you're not losing anything.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:13, Reply)

@Al
I didn't actually say I wanted to part with my money I just wanted details which, so far, haven't been forthcoming.

re: Government bias. That could be a problem but I'm sure there's a solution somewhere. Perhaps having the BBC tax as it's own entity so that the money never gets involved with the budget.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:14, Reply)

*bokes*
The sewer outside my window is backing up and they are cleaning it out and the smell is foul

bokebokeboke
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:15, Reply)

They may have been doing their job
If their job description said 'act like an arsehole if anyone phones you up. Refuse to believe anything they say, and in fact outright call them a liar on the phone. And don't worry about going round to their house, there's no need to do that. Just sit on your arse in a nice warm office while the computer system automatically sends them cuntish letters'
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Seriously sam
get over it. They didn't come round and punch your mum did they.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Sam
Surely the person handling your call was doing their job although they might have been an arsehole. The whole threatening letter/not visiting/guilty until proven innocent thing is more to do with the way TV licensing is run and I'm not sure how much better they could really be seeing as they're trying to enforce a tax that is completely impractical to enforce anyway.
(

Captain V, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Does no one
care about the poo outside my window?

The whole drain just spurted up covering the man and his tractor in shit
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Pffft
a man is covered in poo! Go and lick him TGB!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I'd rather lick
your fetid cock Al
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Is that an offer?
Just wondering like.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Yes in exchange
for some jelly tots and a walnut whip
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:28, Reply)

That's really raising the bar there TGB
wants a walnut whip now.

*wonders what she'd have to do for it*
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:31, Reply)

I'll swap a walnut whip
for a look at your puppies.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Badger
I got Jelly tots and walnut whips, do you do home visits as I don't want to come to you because of the stink?

Just heard from a friend who lives in the same area as K2 they've had 8" of snow today, the roads are in chaos and all the schools closed at lunchtime. I wonder if he's going to get home OK?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I just got an email
showing two people having sex on top of a bridge. Like on top of one of the arch supports. How the hell did they get up there?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:33, Reply)

The internet is but a giant bridge...
and we are all either trolls beneath't, or goats 'pon it.

Good afternoon. Today I am mostly philosophising. *wears beret, smokes pipe*

EDIT: How odd that TGB and I should both post about bridges...
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Deal
img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/beckyjsbx/vet%20animals/KingsleyLeonburger2.jpg
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:35, Reply)

That's how you know
That TGB is one of those high class escorts you hear about in government scandals.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Obviously on the same wavelength
there DiT!

I am very high class
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Becky's a great source of cute pics!

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:37, Reply)

I am indeed
However today, pics would be of filing cabinets and bad smells as there's nothing in here to play with :(

Hence I'm b3taing after lunch and doing my portfolio
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Today I'm alternating between
Working (going through images today) and looking for a decent sized flat to rent for myself (and accumulated crap).

My town is very expensive :(
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Moving out Lab?
I'd love to help you move but I'm washing my hair that day
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Cheeky wench!
One of my housemates' is moving out to his own place, and i've always fancied living by myself, so am looking around.

I went to look at a property to buy, but it was tiny, so now i'm looking at renting somewhere with either a large living/dining room, or a second bedroom for my desk and drum kit.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:46, Reply)

I'm helping Badger wash her hair.
*giggles in soapy bath*
(

thealternativefact, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:46, Reply)

S'up, bitches?
I can't be bothered to read the thread, so I'm just gonna say "Hi" and get on with it.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Afternoon Kaol!
Are you all good?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:49, Reply)

I could never afford to live by myself
And I have way too much crap for a flat.

*splashes about with Clendrix in the bath*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Oh not Kaol again.
:(
(

thealternativefact, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Hey Lab.
I'm ok thanks, been in London this morning.
Meeting went ok, just gotta sort stuff out from it this afternoon. Fascinating, I know.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Hey Kaol
Bored bored bored. Apart from a flurry of foofaraw this morning when someone got suspended over some restricted information being sent to the wrong fax number, it's been really slow.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Haha!
That's a decent reason for suspension.
I'd've had 'em tarred and feathered too, as a warning.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:11, Reply)

I e-mailed
a document to another company that does what we do the other day. It was a spreadsheet of numbers we use to derive numbers for our risk assessments.

I felt a right wally.

Luckily it was nothing they couldn't have found on their own given a few hours on the internet.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:15, Reply)

That's why I never fax sensitive data
Despite protestations from clients, it wouldn't be them who gets it in the neck if the data went AWOL.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:22, Reply)

The other day I sent a fax to someone.
It reached its intended destination.
No amusing mishaps followed.

*sticks finger up Al's bum*
(

thealternativefact, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:23, Reply)

I was suspended from here once
For something I didn't do.

On an aside, anybody know of any decent jobs going, I want out of this hell hole!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:23, Reply)

I once sent a letter so someone
while a b3tan fingered my bum.

The letter was intercepted by a group of japanese attack wolverines. They opened it and translated the text into passable german.

By sheer chance, who should disturb them on one of his evening constitutionals but the former chancellor Helmut Kohl (which translates directly as Mr Cabbage).

So taken aback by what he read he made a call to Jean-Marie Le Pen, the famous french racist and almost president. Mr Le Pen was none too pleased and urinated all over his new shoes in fury.

His wife was most upset with this as she had only recently bought them from the Lands End catalogue and they were moleskin and consequently totally ruined.

So she threw them out and, as luck would have it, a passing tramp lifted them from the bin and decided to wear them, since, despite the stench of old man urine, they fitted a lot better than the two halves of a roadkill badger he had been using previously.

So yeah, who would have thought it eh?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:29, Reply)

Al
Is this true?
Or is it a QOTW LIE?
(

thealternativefact, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:32, Reply)

That must have been upsetting Al

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:32, Reply)

afternoon you lot!
I fear I've entered the Twilight Zone...
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Up until the bit about the tramp it was true.
What really happened was word got back to my boss who took me to task, but when we got to the bottom of it it turned out that the wolverines had mistranslated the word "Aftershave" and had put the German for "felching" which is why Herr Kohl was so understandably upset.

We're okay now. Mrs Le Pan bought some more shoes and waterproofed them before she let Jean Marie wear them.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Afternoon again all
Oh noes! I just had to do some work!

Whatever will they think of next?

We've had a power cut, which would be really good news if we didn't have a fucking bastard cunting emergency generator.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Where's my new QOTW
*stomps feet and sulks*

Also badgers make very bad shoes.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:36, Reply)

I'm still here.
Was going to bugger off early but it's not quite so bad outside now.

And I was busy at work. Damn!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Sam
I just did some work too. That's NOT what they pay me for.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:36, Reply)

I've been working all day
Well, apart from the occasional glance to B3ta when I needed a break. Been a busy, but rough, day so far.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)

I've procrastinated all day
woo
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)

I've been working on the website for work
and it's reaping rewards already as we've got 4 new puppies signed up for the next set of classes starting in march now.

Other than that i've been attempting to do my portfolio, failing and coming back on here instead.

TGB, procrastination kitteh says Meh

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:41, Reply)

TGB
My favourite days consist of eight parts procrastination, one part chores, one part something really pleasurable.
I have not procrastinated enough.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:42, Reply)

Becky
Procrastination cat scares me *hides*

Can I have a procrastinaton puppy please?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:43, Reply)

@Becky
That kitty pic is NSFW, as it's naked!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:44, Reply)

Hairless cats
are weird. I want to stroke one, but I'm afraid it might feel like death.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Why did you shave it?!
I am a master of procrastination. In fact I don't even procrastinate that much in my job, I just don't have any work to do.

Half an hour mid-morning is usually enough to clear my inbox out and finish for the day.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:46, Reply)

He's not naked, he has a fine velvety smooth coat going on K2
I has no procrastination puppies, only kittehs

Navel gazer kitteh says...

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:46, Reply)

naked cats
I reckon that's what Grandma's purse looks like.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Oh my god!
Becky, I want that cat!
It's so cute!
*grins*

I bet they're expensive :\

EDIT: The naked one.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:48, Reply)

That kitteh's a cutie
Maybe I could get a kitteh when I move to a new flat...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:48, Reply)

But I'm allergic
so won't be able to come visi... OH MY GOD you don't want me to visit you do you? That's cold Lab *cries*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:49, Reply)

*rolls eyes*
Yes, that's exactly the reason I'd have a cat.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:51, Reply)

The second kitteh is cute!
I want that one.

becks, you could probably make a few bob selling all the animals from the vets to b3tans.

You could tell their owners they'd died of whatever disease they had, or been savaged by a big dog that was also at the vets or something.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:52, Reply)

ooh it's snowing again
And I bet it is Lab *gives you evils*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:53, Reply)

Those are the ones we keep Sam. If they're too cute to go back to the owners
then we say they died and keep them :)

I'll come visit if you get a cute kitteh Lab
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:53, Reply)

NO MORE SNOWS
Please
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:54, Reply)

Just raining here
No snow :(
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:55, Reply)

Roota I'll try to contain the snow
to where I am then :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:55, Reply)

Sam
no snow, no rain, no nothing, just cold. That's fine by me.
I'm having a lil tipple tonight. I don't want to have to call the huskies.

EDIT TGB, I'd be much obliged, Thanks.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:56, Reply)

Becky,
Please give me the info in hairless cats.
Are they expensive?
Do they get cold?
Do they come on other colours than "creepy beige"?
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Now I have another reason
To get a cute kitteh.

The only minus is the cost, but I can always steal one.

Edit: Creepy beige! Brilliant!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Kaol
To the first two, yes, to the third, no.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:59, Reply)

I really want a dog
But I hear dog food is expensive :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Very expensive
I think they come in grey as well and turd brown.

They get cold so a lot of owners knit jumpers for them.

They tend to be lovely and your best friend or evil, no inbetween

TGB, get a small dog, less to feed then
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 15:59, Reply)

My friend had some sort of hairless cat
Cost her an arm and a leg, and it was absolutely fucking evil. Horrible thing, and I generally get on well with cats!

TGB you can feed them fairly cheaply if you don't buy the massively expensive dog food.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Lab's would be evil
And I don't like many small dogs :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Hmmm...
Do you think they're often at rescue places if they're evil?
I've kinda got my heart set on one.
I'd even make a little leather jacket for it.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:01, Reply)

A leather jacket
out of the skin of your victims?

That'd be pretty cool.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Nah, just a
Tiny biker jacket, with silver poppers and zips.
It'd be awesome, it'd look like an aborted Hell's Angel.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Don't forget
those tassel things that can stream out behind it in the wind when it's riding a miniature Harley.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:06, Reply)

boooorn to be wiiiiiiiild!
meeowrrr
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:08, Reply)

I want some
funky "biker" boots but realisitically I can't afford them. Which means I'll probably buy them any way
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Tassels?
Fuck off, I want a bad-ass little bastard, not a feline reject from the Village People.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Kaol
You have that title for yourself ;)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:10, Reply)

I don't want a hairless kitty
But I wouldn't mind a regular one.

TGB, don't get a small dog. If you can pick it up without straining it is NOT a dog.

Border collies FTW!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:10, Reply)

kaol
sounds like your cat is not comfortable showing his feminine side. Is he homophobic too? He might be a latent homosexual.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Back again
I went for tea break and apparently it's rude to browse b3ta while your coworkers are being sociable.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Hmmm...
I'd quite like a gay cat-sidekick.

As an aside, I'd have to get it some of those biker goggles.

And hope it didn't try and fuck me in the ear.

P.S. 'Red, I meant to ask, can you give me back the Cop outfit. After you've cleaned it. Lots.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)

I'd love one of
these
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Kaol
I'm sure you can handle a bit of cat cock now and again!
Are you sure it wasn't the Traffic Warden outfit?

Oi Oi TGB! Jiggle for me baby!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:14, Reply)

I see a sitcom coming on
what's your gay cat sidekick's name?
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:14, Reply)

That's very demanding of you Ethel
*half heartedly jiggles*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Hmm...
Mister Wilkins.
That's a good name for him.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Border collies are awesome Lab
But it's cruel to have them unless you can give them shitloads of exercise, they get well manic otherwise!

Me and my mate quite often walk one belonging to an elderly neighbour of hers, the dog is 14 or 15 and if we cover 5 miles on the walk the dog will easily do three or four times that with all the running about, and it still doesn't get tired.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:17, Reply)

TGB
You love a bit of demanding, especially from me.

I hope
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:17, Reply)

so the themetune...
would be Mr Wendall by Arrested Development, but with a subtle change.
"Mis-ter Wilkins yeaaah"
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Yes Sam
Until a month ago I had one (well, at my parent's), and we walked him miles each day. Beautiful dogs, very placid and intelligent.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:19, Reply)

White German shephards are prone to more problems than regular ones TGB
So not the wisest choice. Get a leonburger, they're awesome :)

You might Kaol, tons of cats are being handed in at shelters at the moment, including the expensive ones.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Yeah, they're probably more or less the most intelligent dogs Lab
I know loads of people with them as I live in the countryside...

Dunno what dog I want, maybe a Doberman. They're pretty cool.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:24, Reply)

Oh my god
I'd ride him around like a horse!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:25, Reply)

Why?
Can't people afford to feed 'em?
I thought cats ate biscuits and mice?
And if you don't give 'em biscuits, they just go and break into someone else's house and eat their food.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:26, Reply)

My mate's cat caught a bat last time I was at his house
That was pretty cool. Made a very high pitched squeak as the cat dismembered it. (in fact, that was probably fairly low pitched by bat standards)

He catches rabbits as well, and the occasional stoat/weasel. He's a pretty hard cat.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:28, Reply)

my cat
couldn't catch a cold.
But he duffs me up good and proper.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:31, Reply)

"duffs me up"

Stop shagging your cat Roota
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:32, Reply)

hahah!
I should've thought that through.
I mean he unleashes the violence. Oh, that sounds bad too.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Remember
Cats have spiky cocks.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:37, Reply)

TLiC
Do they????

EDIT Please explain. I'm in work and can't put 'cat's cocks' into Google.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:38, Reply)

I'm a spikey cock
Does that qualify me to own a cat?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Yeah
They have spikes which means they can't withdraw their cocks for a certain time after ejaculation, so the sperm doesn't leak out or something.

Think quite a few other animals do as well.

Don't ask me how or why I know this.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Yes they do.
/Zoologist Fact Approval.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Because of
David Attenborough. He has taught me everything about cats cocks I could ever want to know
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Ah. Right fact, wrong reason.
From Wikipedia:

The male cat's penis has spines which point backwards. Upon withdrawal of the penis, the spines rake the walls of the female's vagina, which may cause ovulation. Because this does not always occur, females are rarely impregnated by the first male with which they mate.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:41, Reply)

So to artificially inseminate a cat
You need a a pipette with miniature sticklebricks glued along the length?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:43, Reply)

I feel sick
I really do.
Cats are dirty fuckers!
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Or just a Prince Albert with some funky attachments

(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Nah,
Lab, you just need a syringe (no needle) and a bottle-brush.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:46, Reply)

heheh
one of the guys just printscreened one of the girls computers and she just threw her mouse across the room screaming "why isn't this fucking working"
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:47, Reply)

One of the oldest computer pranks evah
Still gets people, as demonstrated.

And on that note, I'm off home now. See you tomorrow!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:48, Reply)

And is still
funny to watch
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Bye Lab!
I haven't played any computer jokes on anyone for a while, I might sabotage John's computer tomorrow though. *evil thoughts*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:54, Reply)

byeee lab
I am waiting for people in my office to leave so I can play Mission: Planet Earth on the discovery channel website as most game websites are blocked.

Working till 530 is great I miss all the traffic and get 30 mins game time :D
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:56, Reply)

See ya Lab!
Hmmm... I'm here 'til six, then off to a recording session.

I might pop into the workshop for a bit though.
(

Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:56, Reply)

ITS ME!!!
I am the original spikey cock (somewhat delayed post - dunno why!)
(

SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:57, Reply)

You know
it should be Postman Pat's surname though right?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:58, Reply)

Clifton!
I'm off home now, I'll see you all tomorrow, or probably tonight since I have no life.

@ TGB I'll stick all that horse porn in the post for you tonight as well, probably won't get there til Sat tho as I'll have missed the last post...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 16:59, Reply)

I'm confused
but thats coz I'm a little poorly and bit simple

and a cock

EDIT: Thanks TGB
(

SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Oh darn and I'm away which means
I won't be able to watch it till Sunday
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 17:00, Reply)

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