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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning you sexy whores
I'll spunk in your eye because you love it

Everyone having a lie in today?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:02, 201 replies, latest was 17 years ago)
Morning TGB
I'm here.
Only for a little bit though as I'm out soon to buy things for my trip to Sweden. Yayyyyyyyy Sweden!

How are you this morning? Naked I hope.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:07, Reply)
I'm always naked

*shivers*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:09, Reply)
I'm not naked right now
I'll dressed so I can do my striptease routine later on!

Ooh when you going to Sweeeeeeden!?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:10, Reply)
Right now I'm humming the instumental bit
from Bulls on Parade.

der-ner-ner, ner-ner-ner, ner-ner, der-ner-ner

bom-chicka-chicka-bom-bom-chicka-chicka

der-ner-ner, ner-ner-ner, ner-ner, der-ner-ner

and good morning to you too.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:12, Reply)
Morning all
I'm feeling odd today. I stopped skiing half way through the session last night because I was feeling depressed, a friend at work (the one I'm keen on) has been told she'll find out on 5th March whether or not she's going to be made redundant but I got my French audio course last night, started it this morning on the way to work and it seems brilliant so I'm excited about that.

At least I get to use one of my favourite words, ambivalent, to describe how I feel today. Finding it hard to get excited about my date tonight though =/

:edit: Like WTF cheesecakes?! Lusty when/why are you going to Sweeden?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:14, Reply)
I'm very excited about my date tonight
it's several cans of strongbow and some chocolate. I have to go pick them up though. How rude.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:15, Reply)
Captain X?
Why the name change Koala boy?

TGB have chips with that.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:17, Reply)
Because Captain V has been taken hostage
Badger is your date with the chocolate and the strongbow or is it a date with somebody where chocolate and strongbow will be consumed?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:19, Reply)
OH NOES!
Who are his captors, and what are their demands?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:20, Reply)
I'm not certain who the captors are
Although I have my suspicions. So far their only demand is a pickle sandwich. I'm yet to locate any pickles though.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:25, Reply)
It's just with
the strongbow and chocolate. In all fairness I wouldn't want anyone else there that would mean less strongbow and chocolate for me
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:26, Reply)
I think they're demanding he be funny
But he refuses to capitulate to such tactics.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:27, Reply)
I'm going to Sweden on Sunday
to visit two of my friends I lived with in India. I haven't seen one of them in over a year so I'm a very excitable Lusty at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:27, Reply)
LiC
It's not a refusal; I just cannae do it!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:28, Reply)
Now I'm listening to Bulls on Parade
Morning all!

Last night I ate too many meatballs, popped 'round a friend's for tea, then came back to make creepy ambient music for an event this weekend.

How the abortion are you all?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:29, Reply)
I'm not going anywhere
exciting* ever *cries*

*overseas
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:29, Reply)
Ooh Sweden
Sounds lovely. Are you still coming to the Cackers bash on Saturday?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:31, Reply)
I really didn't need the tube to be fucked this morning.

CEO & CTO visiting from NY and I'll end up being 45 minutes late unless it gets any worse!
(bill, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:35, Reply)
LiC
Yups I'll be there for a little bit.

and sober for a change
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:38, Reply)
Morning Lab
Coincidentally I also ate too many meatballs last night. Aberdeen Angus meatballs with herb potatoes.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:39, Reply)
Should have got up earlier
then Bill!

Can you actually die of boredom?

Also why is it people come in to talk to someone in the office, see they are on the phone so just loiter about for like 20 minutes? Fuck off and come back later!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:39, Reply)
Lusty....sober....will...not...compute
*head asplodes*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:40, Reply)
I can go without drinking!
I just prefer to get smashed and act like a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:45, Reply)

cunt sexy motherfucker.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:47, Reply)
I guess you must find destroyed people hot.
Less likely to say no that way huh?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:54, Reply)
Ahahaha
I just noticed TGB's sig. Top stuff.

Carry on.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:55, Reply)
Nobody has ever said no to me
When I ask if they'd like to not have sex with me ='[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:56, Reply)
Lusty
Is your signature a reference to the Bacon Explosion?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:04, Reply)
LiC
Nopes. I was having the long and thin goes too far in, short and thick does the trick conversation with my friend last night. She was wondering if you could increase girth by wrapping a pencil dick in bacon. She's a bit of a strange girl.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:08, Reply)
But what about
If you're short and thin?! *appears to be out of luck*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:09, Reply)
Then you need to develop other skills, X
:)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:12, Reply)
Just make sure you're a
cunnilingus master.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:13, Reply)
I suppose you're right
I can't make myself any taller and I certainly don't want to put on weight. Perhaps I'll have to use my fantastically large man penis to pleasure women so that they're distracted from my slight frame.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:13, Reply)
Morning everbody
They've made me do work today, but it's finishad now and am glad!

How are you folks this fine day?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:14, Reply)
Morning fuckers
I appear to be on the slowest computer of all time at college, but the others wouldn't accept my password - fascist cunts - so I guess I'm stuck with it.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:16, Reply)
For example
A strict regime of tongue exercises and the ability to hold your breath for five minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:16, Reply)
Well I prefer to use my hands
But I suppose I should listen to LiC and start on a tongue exercise regime for when I get my tongue pierced and buy this.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:19, Reply)
I recently discovered that while licking the foo-foo
if your tongue slips and touches the bum-bum, ladies go 'ooooh', and do a orgasm on my face.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:20, Reply)
They're just being polite to humour your homosexual goat urges Bert
tell me I'm wrong
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:23, Reply)
Interesting
I'm going through one of my "I want something pierced/tattooed" phases again
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:24, Reply)
You're wrong!
Who climaxes out of politeness? That's just silly.

True story though, Mrs Monkeysex likes the rimming.

TGB Pierce your cat, or better yet, Pierce Brosnan. You know it makes sense.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:24, Reply)
Tongue > Hands
Bert, I'm afraid I cannot accept one anecdote as scientific fact. Please go and perform an exhaustive survey, and present your findings to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:24, Reply)
Lab
Do you know this from personal experience or have ladies told you?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:25, Reply)
Admit it Bert
That was no slip. You love the bum-bum.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:26, Reply)
Lab
Has never spoken to a lady in real life
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:26, Reply)
I think burt only rims Mrs burt
Because she wont let him felch her.

:edit: Badger can I infer from what you've just said that I'm not a lady?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:27, Reply)
Captain
Tongue vs hands? That's just my personal preference of what to use.

Line the mohawk up with the landing strip and you're good to go!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:27, Reply)
Bullshit, he's spoken to me GB
Sure you can orgasm out of politeness, not something I've done for some time as I've not needed to, but it can be done.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:28, Reply)
Hmmm
A landing strip that is a mohawk. That'd be sweet.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:28, Reply)
I do now
I hated it, I thought bum sex was disgusting, I was horrified by the very thought. But then a couple of weeks ago I was licking her lovely flange, and it was going ok, she was enjoying it, but it wasn't really going anywhere.

So, I ventured south, and now we're putting allsorts up there.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:29, Reply)
Oh ok Becky
*gets scared and sulks off to a dark corner somewhere*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:30, Reply)
liquorice allsorts?
Bertie Basset.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:31, Reply)
Allsorts?
Even the square ones?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:32, Reply)
Why are the HSH threads always about food or sex?
Just curious.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:33, Reply)
Not that you're not a lady too of course GB
But you're kinda insulting all of the sexy ladyb3tans Lab's spoken to otherwise.

*motorboats*

Don't try Fererro rocher Bertie, it's all kinds of wrongness when you're trying to get them out.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:33, Reply)
Ferrero Rocher
Could be mistaken for something else on the way out.

Maybe try lollipops and candy canes? I've seen it in fillums.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:35, Reply)
I was more implying that
Lab is a big sad loser geek who never gets out of the house to talk to ladies in real life and just talks to them on line, rather than the lovely female B3tans aren't ladies.

*glees at motorboating*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:36, Reply)
I'm not sure BGB
It seems to be a recent development. Perhaps, like /talk, we've run out of interesting things to say but instead of just being cunts we talk about food and sex instead.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:37, Reply)
I speak to real life ladies too!
It's just they usually respond with insults or pepper spray :(
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:38, Reply)
I'm not sure some of the people who post on here are capable of being cunts
I know I am and could easily name 10 others who are capable, but could just as easily name others who couldn't.

Not so much that Lab as getting ladybits confused with the nut centre. Rather scared someone who thought he'd dropped my clit ,)

Food and sex go hand in hand as far as I'm concerned BGB. Food and sex can be kinda messy, but very fun all the same
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:41, Reply)
Your clit
looks like a bg brown nut? Might want to get that looked at...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)
I have seen
Lab talking to real life ladies. It was a sight to behold.

The pepper spray wasn't so nice though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)
I think it was more the feel of it than anything else ,)

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:44, Reply)
Thought he'd dropped my clit
AHAHAHA!!!

I've never done the food and sex thing, just never occurred to me as something to do. I'm still young though, plenty of time for that!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:45, Reply)
He wasn't the brightest spark admittedly
Then neither was I for being with him. Live and learn and all that.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:50, Reply)
Ah
Was he the subject of your highest-rated story?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:52, Reply)
Ha, he was actually. Public school boys, gotta love em!
*spangs self*
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:54, Reply)
You lives and learns
I shall learn from your mistake and not get physically involved with public school boys.

Edit: Ah, so everyone's fucked off, charming!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:58, Reply)
Not everybody
I'm about, I just finished the work I had to do.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)
I'm here
I'm just lacking in the chatty department.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:06, Reply)
morning chaps and chapettes
how are we?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:06, Reply)
Hi Vipros
Life's good, yourself?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:07, Reply)
Mr Nong, V
The Bert collective is fine.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:07, Reply)
Hi Vipros!
How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:08, Reply)
I'm about
Just got asked if I'd done the software install that was assigned to me at yesterday's meeting. Of course I replied, "Doing it now!"
Which proved a little embarrassing when two minutes later I had to ask for the disk.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:11, Reply)
I may have to do some work
boo boo boo
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:12, Reply)
Morning Vipros, good thanks, just bored at college
Bert, you have a collective? Is it as sexy as DiT's?
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:14, Reply)
I'm writing today's comic
Rather than working.

Bert, are you part of a hive mind then?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:16, Reply)
morning
Morning chaps! How is everyone of this beautiful sunny wintry day?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:17, Reply)
I don't think anything of mine could be
as sexy as anything of DiT's.

We do have a hive mind, yes, right now my Evil Twin is out collecting honey, while Jam Mister Geordie is laying pupae, and I'm protecting the nest. Evil Bert says he's hungry.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:19, Reply)
Work Badger
Just say no!

Bert's part of a hive mind, that I can believe, do you not hear the buzz as he walks past!

Or is that the vibrator he has stuck up his arse?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:22, Reply)
Vibrator? Pah!
Pneumatic Drill.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:23, Reply)
Dok, you can't discriminate against him as he hasn't got a cunt
He got quite snippy with me about that yesterday. So what if he has a vibrator stuck up his arse, if he likes it, then so be it. The constant buzz and the feculent smell is a bit off putting though.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:24, Reply)
I'm pretty good thanks
trying to fight off a cold with monstrous amounts of vitamin c...

got two gigs this weekend, and surfing and I'm already knackered...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:24, Reply)
There'll be no discrimination against Bert here
Unless by 'discrimination against' you mean 'milking a bull on'. That's positively encouraged.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:27, Reply)
How could he get snippy with you Becky
It's him who likes the pneumatic drill up his arse.

Yes the smell and the noise is a bit irritating.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:27, Reply)
Dunno, but he did
Not entirely sure he was kidding.

Get well soon V
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)
@vipros
you should go with a heap of smoothies... Innocent has a winter one with lemon and ginger in, It totally helps :)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)
Vipros
Drugs are your friend, and fruit juice.

Hi Kirst.

Becky that Bert is a strange one isn't he.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:35, Reply)
Hot lemon squash
Has a placebo effect I find.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:36, Reply)
morning doktor
How goes it? Am desperately trying to get myself motivated. housework is not my friend...
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:37, Reply)
Awww.....
I could never actually be annoyed by you, Becks, you're special and I'll always hold a place in my heart for you.

See, no joke or anything, just big, greasy, love
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:39, Reply)
Weekirst, I saw your flickr photo and you are all of the sexy
If I wasn't already in girlylove with Madam Marlboro, I'd put you at the top of my list.

He sure is Dok, but that's why we love him so...right?

Aww thanks Bert, less of the grease though please
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:40, Reply)
smoothies that you buy all have banana in them though
and I really can't bear banana...

I'm supplementing my usual fruit juice with a vast dose of vitamin c from some tasty effervescent tablets. seems to be doing the trick!

I'm not the sort of person who lets a mere cold get in the way of what I intend to do though, so I'm going to play a gig, then get stoned off my gourd until the early hours. then I'm going to get up tomorrow morning and go surfing, followed by more getting stoned, and then another gig on sunday.

then I'm going to sleep for a long time. by monday I should be fine!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)
I demand to see weekirst's photo
NOW.

It's for research purposes.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)
Who are you
and what have you done with our Bert?

Kirst, housework is never anybodies friend, you should get a slave to do it for you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)
I've always loved Becky
She kicks arse, or more specifically, she breaks legs.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)
@becks
Aww... Thanks :D I'm all grinning now! Hahaha!

@vipros you totally can't taste the banana in the lemon one, I know cos i'm a fellow bannana hater!

@dok Since I don't work Housework is my version of a job at the moment!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)
*waves at Kirst*
Long time no see
:)

I am being forced to work. I'm outraged
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:45, Reply)
It's awfully dark in Weekirst's Flikr photo
but I'll just say 'would' anyway, it'd be rude not to.

Would.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:47, Reply)
Heya everyone :)
I am once again stuck indoors applying for jobs that I'm not going to get in a million years- meh. On the plus side, I get to drink lots of tea and listen to what the fuck I want music wise. On the downside, I'm poorer than a church mouse that took out a self certified mortguage. Oh well, how are you all?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:48, Reply)
@Grammer
Waves How are you? It has indeed been a while

@bert I'm not sure If I should take that as a compliment, But i'm taking it anyway

Takes

-edit

@fredz Same boat really. I've been reduced to emulating domestic goddessery
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:48, Reply)
Hell I so would anyway too
but only with MM's permission...or maybe she could join in :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:49, Reply)
It is a compliment
I'm sure that you're lovely.
I feel like I've been too fluffy now, mind if I stick this up your stench pipe, you manky old cunt?

Becky, you and MM would make the ultimate B3ta threesome. Get a bloke in there and I'd happily pay to watch.
I'd rather take part, but damn Mrs Monkeysex and her 'rules'
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:50, Reply)
Leaps in with gay abandon
*treads on jam tarts and eww's a bit*

OMG, I just went to see the baby lambs that are outside in a shelter thing. They're faaaar too cute. Must get pics at lunchtime.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:53, Reply)
Weekirst pic? Where?!
Weekirst + Becks + MM = quite possibly the hottest thing my mind can conjure.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:54, Reply)
I don't want pictures of Lambs
unless there is mint sauce involved.

Lab Don't say things like that! You'll break the internet!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:55, Reply)
@labia
Apparently I have a pic on flicker... Wait, I know I do, from the worlds smallest OT bash... I just don't know where :) Hahaha
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:56, Reply)
Kirst
That's why youo need a slave, they cost nothing, and you get to beat them if they don't do a good job.

Fredz, you need one as well!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:56, Reply)
Someone photoshop weekirst into my profile pic for Lab please
wants to see brain splosion ,)

Bert, you'd want to see these ones as they're adorable. Like wee fluffy jumping beans
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:58, Reply)
A slave you say?
Interesting..... I could get them to make me tea and amuse me with comedy dance routines. Hmmm.......
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:58, Reply)
@herr
you know where I can find me one of these cheap?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 11:58, Reply)
You don't want to show me pictures like that, Becks
I take my daughter to the farm and get hungry looking at the animals.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:01, Reply)
I may know where to get one
But it could take a while.

Yes Fredz, comedy dancing FTW.

I would Becks, but I'm crap a photoshopping.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:05, Reply)
Well these ones you'd like and not for your stomach Bert
as they're really teeny tiny and fluffy cute. I loves them :) My college is cool!

Off for lunch and then proper lessons where I'm not pissing around on the net. See you lovely lot later
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:05, Reply)
Bye for now
Right.. since I have no slave and my house won't clean ityself I'm off

Catcha later folks

:)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:07, Reply)
Bye weekirst!
*pokes*

Get some pics of those little lambikins please Becky!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:10, Reply)
Hi y'all
how's everyone going?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:17, Reply)
Vampy
*hugs*

You're late today.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:20, Reply)
Hello vampyrecat
And -photos of tiny tiny sheep things? Cool :)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:24, Reply)
no I'm early for a friday
- I had to work.
And I've fucked up my back. It fucking HURTS. Like, I cannot bend over, I cannot twist from side to side, I cannot reach for things, I can't pick up anything without my back getting a spasm.

I'm going to book a physio appointment.

/rant over.

/hugs everyone. Glad to know you all know my habits and routines though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:24, Reply)
Dagnabit
I forgot it was Friday! Thanks for the reminder Vampy.

If you just lie down I'll walk on your back that should sort it out.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)
Baww chicka wah wah
It is I!

*glees*

*dons cape*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:32, Reply)
Yes
It is you!

Why the cape Red. are you turning all Goth on us?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)
I hurt it last saturday
and I've been resting and everything and it's just gotten worse and worse painwise.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:35, Reply)
It is a bright red cape
to match my outer underpants.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:37, Reply)
sounds awesome Red
can I have a photo?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:39, Reply)
Surely
They'd be outerpants then.

And you're turning into Bizarro?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:39, Reply)
Yo VC
Is it lunchtime yet *tummy growlings*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:41, Reply)
Er it's nearly midnight
lunchtime has well and truly passed.

Hi though :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:43, Reply)
Almost Badger
Very soon now.

I've just read the description of a book on Amazon, it was described as 'An enormous pile of awesome'.

I like that.

Vampy pain is not good.

*hugs gently*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:43, Reply)
Silly VampyreCat
It's just gone noon. You crazy bloodsuckers and your nocturnalistic ways.

*rolls eyes*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:44, Reply)
Vampy
Anything for a lady as lovely as yourself.

But alas, I am like Batman, I sneak off into the night without trace.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:45, Reply)
thanks Red
I'll put up a signal for you then.
And then I'll take a sneaky photo when you show up.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:49, Reply)
Red
Not dressed in red you won't, you're more like a caped spiderman!

EDIT Oh bugger it, I seam to have killed the thread again. Somebody pass the hat!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:50, Reply)
sorry
I'm falling asleep here, i'm totally wrecked.

Night all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:12, Reply)
Night Vampy
Have a good weekend.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:13, Reply)
You're a bad apple Dok
Maybe we should just staple the hat to your head.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:17, Reply)
Maybe
I do kill threads rather a lot sometimes, well at least twice a day, sometimes more often.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:21, Reply)
Ha ha
Funny - search the bbc news site for 'prawo jazdy'.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:22, Reply)
Chains
That's a good one. They should have been taught what to look for.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:28, Reply)
That's brilliant
I guess people in Europe are less likely to make the same mistake with a UK driving licence. Damn English being so widespread!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:29, Reply)
I definitely got a sense of "Oh shit"
Where the memo says, "I decided to check how many times officers have made this mistake..."
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:44, Reply)
Dok pass Chains the hat

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:17, Reply)
Afternoon all
I'm back from my stint as a domestic goddess... (Actually waiting for tomatoes to roast... need to kill time)

How are we this afternoon?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:19, Reply)
Yo Kirst
I'm not too bad thanks. I have sweeties to much on later :D
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:23, Reply)
Afternoon weekirst
I'm killing time until I can piss off early.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:31, Reply)
@Grammer
Tomatos are not for me, mores the pity. My Aunt is going to a party tonight and I promised i'd make an assortment of posh nibbly bits since I actually have nothing better to do with my time ! Hahaha!
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:32, Reply)
Kirst
Can you come to my house later and make me some posh nibbles? I'll pay you in cider...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:36, Reply)
TGB
I reckon that was still Dok's fault. I tried to get things going again but he was just too powerful.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:36, Reply)
When Dok
kills the thread the stench of death does tend to linger for a fair while
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:42, Reply)
@grammer
I'd love to! :) I might just be a wee bit late till i can catch a flight back to the uk :)
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:47, Reply)
That's fine
I don't need to go to bed early today :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:48, Reply)
The stench of death
Just what are you trying to say youngling?

Back from a totally unproductive meeting now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:51, Reply)
@grammer
Any special requirements I should know about? your not a vegetarian are you?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:51, Reply)
*lets the you're slide*
No I'm not. *sings the meat meat meat song*

And you do smell a bit Dok :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:52, Reply)
That's why
I have a nose.

I'm a non-smelly person thank you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:56, Reply)
If you like meat
You should check out the Bacon Explosion link I posted earlier.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:57, Reply)
Meat
Huzzah! I'm not good with vegetarians. Today half my food happens to contain no meat, but thats coincidence
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:59, Reply)
Maybe I will when
I get home Chains. Then I can drink if it's disturbing
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 14:59, Reply)
It's just a recipe
*whistles innocently*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:09, Reply)
Bored bored bored bored bored
Work is not exciting this afternoon. And someone has stolen my new bank card before I even laid eyes on it, so now I can have no more cash until Wednesday. Bah.

Afternoon folks, are you all having lovely days?


EDIT - Oooh TLIC, would you like a go on this hat?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:20, Reply)
Wooksiepoo
Can you not go to your bank and get money out ye olde fashioned way?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:23, Reply)
I can,
and indeed I have, but that way leads to having lots of cash on me which inevitably results in stupid purchases/muggings/spending it all on beer.

Plus the banks are closed all weekend, the swine, so I can't get any more cash between now and Monday at least.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:26, Reply)
Oh
*cancels plans to mug Wookiee this weekend*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:27, Reply)
I'm sure it would have been
A sexy mugging.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:33, Reply)
*plans to mug Wookie tomorow*
You three still coming to Cackers bash tomorrow?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:33, Reply)
*prepares exploding decoy wookiee, just in case*

*hides in cellar*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:34, Reply)
But
You don't have a cellar!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:35, Reply)
Me three?
I never said I was going and I am busy busy in Leam this weekend
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:36, Reply)
I never said I was hiding in MY cellar.
That would make me a bit easy to find, don't you think?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:38, Reply)
I am
Got my ticket and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)
I thought you did Badger, sorry.
Ah well Wookie, that will make you a bit harder to find, and you can fit into small spaces as well.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)
*Mourns the lack of badgers this weekend"

Oh well, at least the bash will still be 22% Sams.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:46, Reply)
I may be down laaaaandannnn way
next weekend though Dok, although I was going down for Sam's bash but he seems to have been eaten by large gelatinous monsters from outer space who eat Sams to get the awesomeness and then cause unspeakable damage to all non sams gone AWOL
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:47, Reply)
Down Laaaaaandaaaaaaaaan way
Then we should have a bash, even if we can't find the other Sam.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:49, Reply)
See you all later
I'm buggering off early.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:51, Reply)
Clendrix has
signed up for the talk bash on the same day we could go stare at her and call her a traitor
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:52, Reply)
Badger
That could be fun, and Al, Becky and MM are also going.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:55, Reply)
Wookiee?
What are you doing on here, you work-shy bastard?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:04, Reply)
Hey Clendrix
*stares*





at boobs
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:06, Reply)
States what at boobs?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:09, Reply)
What
*looks innocent*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:11, Reply)
Ah the joy of the 'edit' button.
State. Stare. It's all good :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)
I can't resist
any more though,

*motorboats*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:15, Reply)
I am here
because I am very bored. Although I wasn't here when you asked. Because I was smoking though, not because I was working.

I'm bored.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:18, Reply)
Wookiee
can't you go off and have a shower* or something?


*Not a yewfemism

*enjoys motorboating experience*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:20, Reply)
I'm fine here, thanks.
*sits back and watches the motorboating*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:30, Reply)
Oh Wookers, I am also bored.
I wish your office was across the square.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:32, Reply)
Afternoon all!
I'm just popping in to say Hello so:

Hi!
(bill, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:33, Reply)
*jumps up and down*
40 mins till the weekend!
And it's supposed to be sunny so I can wash my car :D and I bought some new shoes! Woo shoes!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:37, Reply)
Hurrah!

*does the weekend dance*

*falls over*

*realises can only do the weekend dance when drunk*

*goes for beer*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:45, Reply)
What, without gazzing me back?
Shit head.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:45, Reply)
Well no one has
gazzed me all day so you're all shitheads *sulks*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:47, Reply)
Oh dear, Clenders.
I think you'll find I gazzed you last.

*sighs*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:48, Reply)
You're a fucking retard, Wookers
*resends gaz sent at 16:08 in response to your 15:57 one*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:49, Reply)
My bad,
it seems the internets ate my last gaz.

*realises this is a lame excuse*

*doesn't care because it's Friday*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:56, Reply)
Wookers
I apologise for blaming you when the Internet was clearly at fault.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 17:04, Reply)
Bad Internet!
*Spanks global network*

*Runs away*
(bill, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 17:07, Reply)
Bye bye internets,
it's binge drinking time!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 17:28, Reply)
^
I'm not sure it's binge drinking if you never stop.
I think that's alcoholism.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 17:34, Reply)

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