Somewhere to talk bollocks all day
I thought it would be a nice idea to have a thread where people could come and talk to each other all day.

Work is bloody DEAD today, so enter for no-holds-barred conversation.

No cake!


( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 8:18, 175 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

YAY
No3l! haven't seen you in ages!
/huggles
how're you mate?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 8:49, Reply)

Allo Miss T :)
I'm good, tired but good. Work is completely dead so I'm watching Mythbusters.

Have you had a nice weekend?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 8:51, Reply)

ha.
nah it was shite - work was utter bollocks both nights. Don't ask. I'm just having a rough couple of nights.

On the plus side no work until friday!
How's things going with your little'un? She good? Been baking much lately?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 8:54, Reply)

She was at her ex-step-father's place over the weekend
and it sounds like she's fractured or broken her arm. Silly bugger.

We made beef and onion pie from scratch last weekend. It tasted completely amazing!

What're you doing with your evening?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 8:59, Reply)

spending it
talking to my lovely other half. no pun intended

poor thing. Sign her cast from me. "To the littl'un. Breaking bones hurts. have fun writing back to me! love Vamps".

Actually don't she might cry and I don't want to be mean.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:01, Reply)

She's a tough cookie.
I don't know if she'll have a cast as she hasn't been to the hospital yet. If she's still in pain today she'll be going over.

Is your other half a b3tan too?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:07, Reply)

Indeedy.
Sure is. I'll get him to gaz you later. Don't worry! I'm sure he passes your test of worthyness. :) He's bloody wonderful to me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:11, Reply)

*devises test of worthyness*
I'm assuming this is your friend and not your boyfriend, young lady? :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:14, Reply)

aha erm *coughs*
other half meaning boyfriend yes
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:15, Reply)

Oh erm...
I thought you were a confirmed gaybo? :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:20, Reply)

I thought that too
wonders never cease. That said I'm not going to question or beat myself up over this - I'm just gonna let it happen.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Good for you.
As long as you're comfortable in your own skin :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:25, Reply)

took a while but hey
I feel more comfortable as I am now then I have in a long long time.
Hence the not questioning.

So what's your favourite food No3l? Noticed you like to cook. :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:45, Reply)

That's so difficult...
I love Mexican food. Some well- made nachos, or burritos, enchilados, quesidillas... Mmmm!

Indian, Chinese, Thai, Malay, Kashmiri... Asian food does it for me.

Meat... I was a lifelong vegetarian until about four years ago, and I'm still on a meaty culinary journey and I don't want to get off :)

Cheese is great. Rice, pasta, salads, sandwiches, pies... man, I could go on forever.

How about you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:52, Reply)

my favourite favourite food ever
is the greasy vegetarian fried rice and Vegetarian nasi goreng. NOM!

And chocolate. lets not forget that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Nasi goreng is Malay
I've eaten it on the streets of Kuala Lumpur where it was cheap - about 25p or 40 US cents to get well fed - and incredibly tasty.

I'm jealous. I can't get an authentic nasi goreng in England.

Edit: also...

www.b3ta.com/questions/nightclubs/post402299
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:05, Reply)

morning no3l and vc!
how are you both?

no cake? pah. i have an easter egg and a choccy rabbit.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Morning badger
Chocolate's fine. In fact, I wholly support chocolate in everything it does.

Had a good weekend?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:20, Reply)

hey Blair!
/huggles
how's my favourite building french badger wannabe?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:28, Reply)

turned out good in the end...
end of last week i was royally pissed-off on account of having to miss teh edinbash. and then ended up going to see www.harperspace.com play in newcastle. had a crack with nick, got my teeshirt signed, introduced my mate simmy to some music that blew his mind! so a result and a half.

and then had a truley fantastic persian lamb stew for late-lunch with teh 'rents yesterday. and chocolate.

only downside was the 1st round of motogp being cancelled due to rain. in qatar? rain? ffs!! it's not exactly eskdalemuir, is it?

and you sir?

and you vc? **hugs back, sneaks a nibble**
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Morning all
I have just had a bowl of oat clusters with coconut, almonds and sultanas. I feel quite virtuous, especially since I have leftover pizza for lunch.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:30, Reply)

The MotoGP race is being held tonight at 7pm
Not sure if BBC3 will be showing it though. I'll be checking later :)

Ning Light!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Blair
if you ever try that again I will kung fu your bits so quickly you won't know what happened until you wake up in hospital with 70 stitches in your balls.

Hi Light! /huggles.
Wow very virtuous.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:31, Reply)

morning TLiC
i also have leftover pizza, one large slice of pizza express american hot from morrison's. half price!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:31, Reply)

no3l
will check that out...

vc, i have something stuck between my teeth...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:33, Reply)

yeah
it's my fist.

/smiles angelically
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Mine was pizza pizza "mixed grill"
Spicy beef, cajun chicken, mushrooms, green peppers, chilli, garlic, pepperoni - 16" for 9.99. 1/3rd last night, 1/3rd for lunch and 1/3rd for dinner - by which point it'll be a week before I can face pizza again.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:35, Reply)

@ TLiC that's mighty good sounding pizza...
@vc **nibbles, pains, falls to floor clutching smashed teeth and squished nuts**
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:38, Reply)

COOLNESS!!!
just got a text off spakka, his train arrives at high noon. the carlislemicrobash is on!!

woo.
yay.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:44, Reply)

ha.
told you so.

/cuddles.
Did you learn your lesson?

EDIT: aw dang I want to go to Carlisle. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:44, Reply)

every day is a schoolday!
when you come to the island you must visit us!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:49, Reply)

VC - Carlisle is a long way from civilisation
Go on the b3tamap and click on blaireau's motorbike. It makes oop north look southern.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:53, Reply)

I know - I've seen the map
part of the reason why I think I'd like it there. It'd be a bit like home - in the middle of bloody nowhere - fooking freezin' and wi' a bunch o' people wi' funny accents.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:56, Reply)

@ TLiC
damned right!
pisses me of when folk describe places such as Rotherham as the north. like **** it is, that's 2 hours south from here...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Carlisle
has some awesome choo choo twains :)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:58, Reply)

Morning folks
VC, you really don't want to go to Carlisle, its the nearest train station to my folks' when I come up for visit and its dire.

Its a city in the same way that Liechtenstein is a country.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Beekers! Ethel!
/huggles both of you

how are you both??
How was the bash?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:02, Reply)

*huggles*
Bash was great - was ace to catch up with familiar faces and a few new ones. I was relatively sensible as Tulip wasn't drinking and we had to drive back.

Still got fairly merry though, and roundly mocked for both Tulip and I turning up in almost identical checked shirts.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:07, Reply)

ahaha oh god
why is it that I can actually picture that?!

Did you read "the story of the eye" in the car? :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:09, Reply)

morning VC and beaks
I'm good thanks, bash *is still* pretty cool. going to walk up some bloke's chair today.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:10, Reply)

@VC
It was all good-natured so I didn't mind.

No I didn't - we would have crashed and had bonbon spillage!

*edit* @ Ethel
Enjoy! It's a nice walk up there, tremendous view from the top.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:12, Reply)

oh noes!
not bonbon spillage!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Indeed
Thankfully we just listened to NOFX and Frank Turner and nommed the bonbons instead of spilling them:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Ooh, I've heard of NOFX
I've got a live version of "Idiot Son of an Asshole" that always puts a smile on my face.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:23, Reply)

@LiC
Very good party band. One of the few artists in my collection I could file under 'upbeat'.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:25, Reply)

sounds like fun
oh well. Am booking my ticket up to melbourne soon - I need to look at cheapish hostels somewhere near whereever the bash will be held.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:25, Reply)

It was fun!
And now I am off for a bite to eat and I need to venture out and purchase a birthday card for my Granny. How dull!

Laters!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Morning all
I have beer induced hurty head .... Which'll bloody teach me because I've been good as gold and have left it alone all week.

Gotta nip out in a bit to deliver tasy chilli & lasagne to some friends who have just hadtheir second daughter and then The Outlaws descend for their easter visit. Oh the joy. The motherfucking joy.

How be things?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:33, Reply)

hey Spunks
Sounds like fun.
Guess you don't like your outlaws? That's okay - two out of three of my sisters husbands are total wankers (I have three sisters - all are married - the older two are the ones I am talking about).
And I have to spend christmas with them EVERY year.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:35, Reply)

shouldn't use "Motherfucking" and "outlaws"
that close together. Bad image!

I've signed up for bill's 27.989 bash as I will be 40.995 on that day.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Hey guys
They're OK - Really good, church going folk but I get wazzed off having to put on my 'nice' face all afternoon and evening. That xmas arrangement sounds delightful VC >sarcasm mode off<

Yeah Tlic, poor choice of phrasing. It's a thought which leads to mental scarring.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:47, Reply)

I had to spend
two weeks with my sister Jo over 07/08 summer. It was horrible. Her husband is the most bigoted, ignorant, nasty, racist, loud, obnoxious, homophobic, sexist pig I have ever had to live with.
And he's had kids.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Whenever I have to spend an extended amount of time with good, nice, churchgoing people
I picture them in black robes sacrificing a goat to Bel-Shamharoth the Soul Render.

Makes it much more bearable.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:13, Reply)

somehow
it fails to work on this guy.
I forsee a big shouting match at the next family gathering. I'm not putting up with his snide comments anymore. Last time he told me I "look nice but need to shed a few kilos". And then Laughed at me. In front of everyone.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Well next time you tell him
that dozens of older men on the internet think you look just fine.

:)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:29, Reply)

ha.
that'll be a riot.
nah he just doesn't like me cos I politely but irrefutably shoot down every single one of his remarks.

eg: "what a fucking homo - I bet he does every boy on that movie"
"oh - darn are you that jealous? I had no idea - I'll call him for you and set up an appointment time for you to get some nookie"
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Hi guys
Finally recovered from the bash, despite being thoroughly grumpy when I got back. I much prefer Edinburgh to Wakefield. I might move there at some point, who knows? Life is for the living, why not?

Oh, and I'm looking after this little guy:



Cute ain't he?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:11, Reply)

awww cool!
what's his name Piston? Can I pet him?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:14, Reply)

His name is Bunda
I'm looking after him for a friend but given the nature of his owner's age (she is 16) I'm thinking I've got him for a fair while yet. But go ahead and pet him. Give him a cricket too, if you like. I can barely stand to touch the things so I'm just shaking the box into his vivarium.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:17, Reply)

What is he PB?
S'not a gekko is it?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:17, Reply)

Nah, not a gecko
A bearded dragon.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:19, Reply)

Geckos look
a lot different - their skin is a lot softer and they don't have claws - their feet are sticky so they can climb stuff.

/pets and feeds some crickets to Bunda.

Why don't you like crickets? they're not that bad.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:23, Reply)

I don't like crickets...
I love it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:29, Reply)

I don't like anything with more than 4 legs
It's a kind of silly phobia. But a tap on the bottom of the box sends the little buggers jumping to their crickety doom.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:33, Reply)

ahah I really
Only have a problem with spiders. I hate them. with a passion. I really don't mind bugs at all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:36, Reply)

I'm scared of nothing
except Care Bears and scorpions.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:40, Reply)

hello all
and how are we today on this fine, sunny, should-be-playing-outside-in-the-sunshine-instead-of-being-back-in-the-theatre day?

I am very grumpy because everyone else in the entire worldis outside doing lovely bank holidayish things on the green and soaking up the lovely spring sunshine and I am at my desk being constantly pestered for things.

So I am going to sit in teh corner for a bit and you can just ignore me while my tantrum runs its course.

*folds arms*

*stomps off to corner*

*sulks*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Tulip!!!
/huggles and snuggles

how are you enjoying your coat of cakes? Did you have a nice time with beeker? I heard you matched :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Lo tulip!
Start an insult thread if you wanna fight need to let off steam?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Tulip!
Not everyone is having fun, I'm having to work as well as still not feeling well.

Sorry not to have got to meet you in Embra. Boo rubbish me.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:46, Reply)

'Allo Tulip
Have you seen my lizard?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:50, Reply)

'lo no3l and Podders
That's ok, I've got a bag of cute things with me that I will squish mercilessly whenever I feel the need.

*squishes bunny*

That's better...

The bash was awesome Pod, although there was a distinct lack of Scottish regulars there... and yes, VC, Beekers and I managed to turn up in matching outfits *shames*

I'm definitely wearing a dress next time, that'll thwart him.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Piston!
that reads really really seedy! Blegh! WHY did you have to type it like thaaaaaat?

/scrubs eyeballs

WHY does reading that make me picture a gurning old man in a trenchcoat and sneakers with a horrible leer on his face?! EURGH.

EDIT: not if he turns up in a kilt.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:53, Reply)

piston!
*pounces*

That's an awesome lizard you have there. What's his name and where does he come from?

*cillas*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:54, Reply)

His name is Bunda
And he was passed onto me by a friend whose parents won't allow him in the house. I have a feeling he's going to be around for a while. Yes Tulip the matching outfits was bloody funny.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:15, Reply)

*passes hat to piston*
It's gone all quiet in here...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:38, Reply)

I'm here!
I was waiting for other people to reply cos I don't want to keep wearing that thread killer Hat :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:40, Reply)

yay!
although, you know VC, it's not really a real hat...

edit: ... but I'll wear it anyway.

*dons pretend hat*

*glums*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:42, Reply)

I just didn't have anything to say.
I'm sitting at my PC at home in my dressing gown catching up on a load of downloaded television. And I don't know anything about lizards and I'm not pissed off about anything.

Next up: New Red Dwarf!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Hello peeps!
Tulip,

I may have to turn up in a dress to the next one then:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Fair enough.
I saw the first installment of the new Red Dwarf on Friday. and a bit of the last one last night.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Beeks
make sure she arranges it for when I'm there - I'll lend you one of mine - you're a skinny lad.
by the way how old are you??
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:57, Reply)

@ VC
I am indeed a skinny lad and do actually look quite fetching in a dress.

I shall be 29 in July:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:58, Reply)

hmmm
Well if you absolutely insist on wearing a dress, that leaves me no option but to wear my serving-wench corset and lots of eyeliner.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:59, Reply)

@ Tulip
Oooh, that would be nice.

I am more than likely not going to wear a dress though.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:01, Reply)

Well
It seems beardies are easy enough to take care of, I should be OK. Mum seems to think I bought him. Like I can afford £225 to spend on a sodding lizard.

/Edit

BK, the sight of you in a dress would more than likely put me right off my cornflakes.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:02, Reply)

ahaha christ
you just seem a bit younger is all.

and tulip - photos or it never happened! Beeks! Make sure there are photos!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:04, Reply)

good
I'd be all confused.

@piston, £225? for a lizard? bloody hell, if I spent that on a pet I'd at least expect it to be able to talk or something.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Haha
Do you mean I look younger, or I'm immature?

I would like to think a little of both!

@Piston
Why would you be having cornflakes at a bash?
*grins*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:06, Reply)

£225 for the total setup
I think they saw her coming somewhat. I'd love one of my own, but I can't afford it financially and I'm not committing to a pet at the moment. And BK, nothing wrong with cornflakes at a bash. Good to throw over people if they keep on calling you Rimmer.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Beeks
yes it's a little of both.

HA. When I meet you I won't even be 19 and you'll be thirty. hahahahahaaaaa. god. Sorry. Don't know why that struck me as funny but it did.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:11, Reply)

Age is but a number
A damned inconvenient one if your girlfriend is 15 though.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:12, Reply)

ah, that makes a bit more sense
I do like the phrase "committing to a pet" though, like its some sort of ceremony.

I caught the last 20 minutes of Flash Gordon yesterday, and I had to wonder why Ming the Merciless, ruler of the entire universe and presumably wielder of supreme executive power, chose to incorporate bits of the Church of England marriage ceremony into his intergalactic shotgun wedding, i.e. "With this ring I thee wed"...

... although I may have been delirious from lack of Easter eggs.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:12, Reply)

@VC
That would make me feel horribly old. Thanks very much:s

@ Piston

But that was funny; until you smacked me in the gut.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:15, Reply)

re age
Rimmer, sorry, piston is right...

age is just a number.

Oi, Miss Cat, 30 isn't funny. It looks old from 19 but really, it's just getting started.

Anyway 19 from 30 is equally laughable.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Yeah sorry about that
I still feel quite guilty. I was going for a playpunch, not winding the fuck out of you. I must have caught you right in the solar plexus...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Afternoon all
So what have I missed and who haven't I met?

Was Edinburgh fun?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:23, Reply)

Word homies.
Work is dull. With a capital Duh.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:23, Reply)

You haven't met me.
Have an Ewok. They're divine.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:24, Reply)

You know, we need a bash write-up
Bash reports! From participants!

Include travelling up, what the hotel/hostel/somebodys couch was like, who did what silly thing, how drunk you got, whether you woke up the next morning with a dead hooker in bed beside you...

That kind of thing.

For those who couldn't be there to vicariously share.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:24, Reply)

Oooh Ta Carrot
The fur does get stuck in the teeth though doesn't it.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:25, Reply)

@ Piston
Don't worry about it; I was quite amused.

@LiC
It was actually very civilised. I certainly didn't get into the same drunken states I had done at the last few bashes I'd been at.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Mrs Bin
I just had the worst mental image. And it wasn't exactly fur.

Beekers - I'm sorry. Please accept my humblest apologies. Hugs?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:27, Reply)

True
but it means that they self-wipe on the way out.

I cannot believe any b3ta had even the merest veneer of respectability.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:27, Reply)

That Cat
is your failing and not mine!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:29, Reply)

@ VC
*hugs*

I don't feel like I'm hitting 30 - I still act like a teenager:)

*edit* And I couldn't be mad at you; you made me a lasagne coat!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:30, Reply)

ahaha Mrs Bin!
I wouldn't call it a failing - I have one of the filthiest minds ever! I can make a teacher gape in astonishment and then blush! In fact I have done so on more then one occasion to one teacher in particular. :D

@beeks: *hugs back* Yeah nah I just didn't think you were that much older. You don't really seem that much older then 24ish.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:32, Reply)

It was very respectable actually
And there were two kilts to look up too.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Oh 30 was a horrid Birthday
Mr Bin is 36 in a few weeks.
I think this one may go unmarked as he is unhappy at being closer to 40 than 30.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Oh Cat
I am a teacher.
Once you've been called a cunt by a ten year old there is little left of be shocked by.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:34, Reply)

tell him to grow a pair mrs bin
my dad just turned 63.

THAT'S OLD. Okay?!

EDIT: ahah - no it doesn't involve calling teachers cunts - more double meanings.
EG - I told a boy to stop fiddling with my ring. I was of course - talking about my actual jewellery ring but I said it in such a way as to make said teacher look around and blush.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Just remember that as you
find yourself approaching 40 and wondering what the fuck happened to the last 20 years.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Mrs Bin
I'm wondering what happened to the last twelve! I can remember my first day of primary and now I'm less then 18 months from graduating.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:37, Reply)

@VC
Sorry poppet, but if you think that flew by, you're in for a bit of a shock

*olds*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:38, Reply)

@ VC
Yeah, I usually get mid-20s if people are trying to guess my age.

@ Tulip
Don't forget Darklite who turned up in full suit and tie and said, in his very well spoken baritone, "I was under the impression this was a formal do."

And some of his stories were genius. So funny and deadpan.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:39, Reply)

ahah well I can't really
remember much from before primary school except for the time I broke my nose and the time I got stung by wasps. It just kinda hit me the other week like... fuck I've only got 6 more (10 week) terms of school left.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Oh yeah!
DarkLite is awesome.

I'm still impressed that spakka has got a 2 Unlimited jacket as well.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:44, Reply)

@ VC
I can't believe its 11 years since I started uni! That scares me. I think that's because I've pretty much been pissed for the last 11 years and that's why its gone so fast.

@ Tulip
Oh god; Spakka's jacket. Hahaha!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:46, Reply)

You see?
This is the sort of detail we want.

*imagines spakka in a 2 unlimited jacket*

Okay, maybe not that detail, but stuff *like* that.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:47, Reply)

what is a
2 Unlimited jacket? I googled it but it came up with some... odd... things.

EDIT: I'm actually considering applying for uni in the UK.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:48, Reply)

11 years, Beekers?
I started uni...13 years ago. When VC was four.

Shit!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:52, Reply)

@ VC
2 Unlimited were a really cheesy dance band from the early-90s and spakka still owns a promotional jacket. Its still in remarkably good nick too!

*edit*
Well you don't look it tulip!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:53, Reply)

Tulip
I'm older mentally then I am in years. And physically. When I was thirteen the doctor said it was highly unlikely that I would grow anymore. This year the school nurse said I should start going for pap smears and mammograms since I was about as developed as a 20 year old.

I'm scared. I've never had either of those before.... It's making my cross my legs and wear baggy shirts in fear.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:56, Reply)

I went to university in 1986
Yikes.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Aw, VC
puberty just happens when it happens, everyone grows at different rates.

Although, I don't know why they should be sending you for either smears or mammograms yet. Unless they start you early in Oz?

It's 25 for smears here and, erm, about 50 for mammograms I think?

I wouldn't worry about being as developed as a 20 year old. I woke up one morning with boobs and hips (I was 13 too) and it scared the crap out of me till I realised that these were Good Things To Have especially when it came to Boys and Attracting Them.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:00, Reply)

Sorry,
ran off to fit the new lampshade I just bought.

See how dull life gets when you are old.

I honestly don't know what happened to the last 10 years.

I don't remember doing anything.

*edit*
VC do not fear the smear. It's slightly uncomfortable at the worse.
Much better than having cancer though.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:02, Reply)

over here
it's 18 for pap smears (or once you become sexually active - whichever is first), and about 25 for mammograms I think (not sure on that).
I remember getting my first pimple at 10. I was very very blue that day. The the week after I had boobies. And hips. And yes they were (and are) Very Good Things when it comes to Attracting People.

It's a shame I'm actually really shy about this stuff in person. I diffuse it with cock jokes and sexual innuendo.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:04, Reply)

I'm impressed
with smears at 18.

I really do think the age here should be lowered.
Lets get real, most girls are sexually active by the age of 18 at the latest.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:05, Reply)

^what Mrs Bin said
a few minutes of being undignified is worth it if it saves your life.

Never been for a mammogram though, but I've heard they're quite uncomfortable, especially for bigger girls.

edit: oh noes, we has scared all the boys away!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:07, Reply)

No, really?
We hadn't noticed, VC.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:07, Reply)

tulip
I'm given to understand it's like getting your tits caught in a mangle.

But I didn't want any further details.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:08, Reply)

I lost
my V-plates when I was fifteen. And have refused any and all action and propositions since then. I don't count that as sexually active. I count sexually active as regularly having sex or engaging in sexual "activities".

I'm a born again virgin at 17. How pathetic. /facepalms.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:08, Reply)

@ tulip
Oh no; you couldn't scare us away like that - I went to make a nice cuppa!

*edit* and VC, that isn't pathetic at all.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:10, Reply)

And for the ladies
who are finding the thread a little depressing:

dancing kittehs

Cheered me up.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Beekers
what if we start talking about periods and blood and dripping and tampons and leakage and pads and stuff like that? And cramps? and Moodswings? and Bloating? Cravings? Horniness oh gods the horniness ?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:13, Reply)

ahah thanks Light
that made me giggle. At far too late an hour. :p
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:17, Reply)

All that talk doesn't bother me in the slightest
*is a new man*

And any ladies who want to talk about horniness, well I am all ears.

Apart from my mouth, nose, eyes and things. But then I am all ears.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Aw, the kittehs!
They dance!

*forgets all the trials and tribulations of being a lady*

thanks LiC!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:19, Reply)

darn
and here was me looking to make someone squirm about blood.

I have a confession. I don't mind my own blood but I saw one of my coworkers slice his finger open the other day and I nearly passed out right there in the middle of service.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:20, Reply)

@VC
You'll have to work harder to make me squirm:)

Oooh, kittums!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:21, Reply)

@ BK
actually, I'm quite horny right now.

What have you to say to that, sir?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:24, Reply)

ahaha Beekers
I wouldn't. I can't be bothered trying harder at 1:25am.

HLT would kill me. Slowly.

EDIT: Would like to add that I too am horny. On an epic scale.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:25, Reply)

@ Tulip
Gaz me; we'll talk ;)

*edit* @VC


Have some nice half one in the morning music!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkFPwDYZYHo&NR=1

I've seen this fella live 3 times now. A personal favourite:)

*edit 2*
I am always horny on an epic scale. Unless I say, "Hmm, I have lost my mojo today," then just assume I'm pawing the floor.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:26, Reply)

I got this:
tiny.cc/lX2Qh

For my birthday.

I'm now busy copying all my biscuit recipes into it.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:26, Reply)

Squirming, eh?
Well, as a counterpoint to that last youtube link, how about the Birthing Simulator which is *really* quite disturbing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:26, Reply)

and now I have the strangest image in my head beeks
lol. thanks.

And thanks for the music.
Mrs Bin - I bet you make excellent biccies. I have a book where I write down all my favourite food recipes.
Light - I won't sleep til 5 am now. Thanks mate.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:33, Reply)

@VC
I won't make any bull/red rag metaphors after the earlier period discussion. That would be wrong!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:35, Reply)

tee hee
Serves you right VC.

Frankly I think all girls should be shown that video at age 12. It'd do more to cut down teen pregnancy than any of the current ideas.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Ooh, I do like Frank Turner
he is ace.

@VC, I wouldn't do that to you :)

@ Mrs Bin, you've just reminded me, I am looking for a decent flapjack recipe as all the ones I've tried are all flap and no jack. Can you point me in the right direction please?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:37, Reply)

hmm thanks Light.
not that I've ever been preggers or anything but my town has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancies in the state. it's like the local pass time.
"what's up for the weekend Stace?"
"oh gonna bang robbo"
"make sure ya get knocked up luv!"
"right - will do when mitch gets you knocked up too!"

It's sad :(

EDIT: thanks tulip!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Flapjack?
100g 4oz butter
75g 3oz golden syrup
75g 3oz soft brown sugar
225g 8oz rolled oats

Melt butter, sugar and syrup in a pan.
Stir in oats and mix well.
Spread in to a 8 by 12 inch swiss roll tin. (lined with baking parchment)
Bake at 180ºc (350ºF) for 30 mins.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:46, Reply)

I will confess here
I have never ever had flapjacks.
not once.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:48, Reply)

thanks Mrs Bin
that sounds muchly nom.

*gratefuls*

I think I might try that on Wednesday.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Can I just
pimp my link?

I didn't make it, I just found it, I think it's very nice.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Comes from this book:
tiny.cc/TLBSq
In my opinion the finest cook book ever.
Teaches you all the basics with no flummery.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:50, Reply)

link is borked Mrs B
which book is it?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:56, Reply)

I haven't had flapjacks for years
oh, and in case anyone is bored I've been playing this for the last half hour. What a cool but maddening little game!
www.freeonlinegames.com/puzzle-games/block-n-roll.html
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:57, Reply)

Poo to the link
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1860194850/ref=s9_subs_c6_s1_p14_aw_t1?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=center-1&pf_rd_r=0EAW138MT13DZ75M4STF&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=467198433&pf_rd_i=468294

This one
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:57, Reply)

that looks good mrs bin
my mum's got one of those PWL books and it's SO good.
Love it.

And beeks - I spent about 6 hours on Omegle the other day. *shamed*
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:02, Reply)

What's Omegle?
Sounds interesting!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:03, Reply)

I hope those of you who have had easter eggs
Enjoyed playing with Lucifer's Testicles.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:03, Reply)

beeks
www.omegle.com

It is bizarrely addictive.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:07, Reply)

@LiC
Awesome link!

I haz no satan's balls to nom.

*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:13, Reply)

@ LiC
Well researched? Hahaha! Good linky!
Made up ont he fucking spot more like:)

@VC
Was there lots of nutters to speak to?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:16, Reply)

Yup
Lots of them. it's fun. Watch out though - there are some real psychos out there.
EDIT: HLT!


(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:20, Reply)

Wow VC!
I'd nom them any day!
Phwoar!

I may be a tulip of very little brain, but could someone please tell me that that churchy website is a joke? Please? Is it?

If it isn't, I want one of those menstrual shacks.

If it is, I still want a menstrual shack.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:36, Reply)

Yes Tulip
It's a parody.

Poe's Law states that Extreme Fundamentalism is indistinguishable from parody of it, and vice versa.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:41, Reply)

Ohhhh
Well, I still want a menstrual shack.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:46, Reply)

tulip
I love you dearly but you still frighten me a little when i think about how much your conversations resemble mine and my best friend's. It's just a little close to home you know? :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:49, Reply)

We want you to have one too
thou unclean harlot.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:51, Reply)

Thank you for the link
to the LandoverBaptists.

I've been saved!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:58, Reply)

@LiC
Fine, that's you off my menstrual shack party list then!

VC can come cos she LOVES me
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:59, Reply)

I do.
I really do. Perhaps not quite as much as a certain friend of mine, but I do still loves you. Enough to bring chocolate and movies and gin.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 18:02, Reply)

Aw, ain't you a sweetie
*reserves space for VC in the menstrual shack*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 18:12, Reply)

aww yay
feel free to rent it out in my absence but you have to boot them out when I get there!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 18:17, Reply)