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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, I'm totally off to the beach in three weeks.
I have an old tax form that will allow me to recieve $400 (yay extra beach money!) and I was going to file it today but it turns out that I waited too long and I'll have to mail it instead of filing online which means I've gotta wait 2 months to get it (boo, no extra money).

What have you missed out on because you're a lazy crap procrastinator? Or just busy, like me?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:43, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Most of life really

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:45, Reply)
^This

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:48, Reply)
you came to America
that's gotta be some sort of accomplishment
/still hasn't gotten her passport after meaning to for 2 years now
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:51, Reply)
I've also been to Thailand.
Still bugger all in 44 years.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:55, Reply)
that's not bugger all !
golly !!
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:57, Reply)
I'm hoping to get to New Zealand and Greece next year.
*crosses fingers*
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:59, Reply)
Travel! Woo!
I've been to 19 countries (and nine states in the US) and look at me now!
Stuck at a fucking desk.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:03, Reply)
I used to always want to go to greece but I think now I'd rather go to Italy
maybe
I want to go EVERYWHERE
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:03, Reply)
Do it, Kristine. Do it.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:04, Reply)
I'm too fat to back-pack across europe
plus I'm broke
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:06, Reply)
What do you mean you're too fat?
Europe isn't particularly narrow, you know.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:09, Reply)
I reckon
Well done, now I've got it in my head to go trompsing around in foreign countries.
Thanks.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:11, Reply)
Good.
Start here.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:12, Reply)
Where is 'here'?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:15, Reply)
England!

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:16, Reply)
Good old Blighty!
Land of cake and kittums.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:18, Reply)
wheeeeeeeeeere in England?
I don't know where to go or what to do.
I'll have to buy a tent.
I'll get a shot gun flashed at me for sleeping in someones garden.
This could go really well or really bad.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:19, Reply)
Start in London.
We'll send you to b3tans all over the place. It'll be fun.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:22, Reply)
Can we package her up in a box
and put her in the luggage compartment of a national express coach?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:23, Reply)
sounds terrifying

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:25, Reply)
iI'm sure there are some crazy and incredibly friendly B3tans out there that will put you up for a day or two if you ask the nicely.
Hint hint.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:23, Reply)
flight and hotel from december 3rd to 8th is $1000
thats fucking amazing
I think I may actually make a trip over
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:32, Reply)
What hotel, where?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:32, Reply)
This isn't for stalking reasons.
I'm in the Hotel business, I'll warn you if it's a shit one.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:33, Reply)
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
This is your new Best Post Ever.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:40, Reply)
I'm going to start telling people i'm in the housing business
Because I dig holes in fields before they put the houses up.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:41, Reply)
I'm gonna tell people I am a famous author
because my office is Virginia Woolf's old dressing room.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:44, Reply)
I was just gonna warn her if it was a bug-infested one :p

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:43, Reply)
You are so funny, Kaol.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:44, Reply)
I don't have to take this shit.
I'm going to the South Pole in my Jet.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:54, Reply)
Fuck off are you.
Get your own bloody ideas.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:56, Reply)
Oh Edmund!
You're back, you old rogue, you.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:57, Reply)
HAHAHA!
What happens if I click "I LIKE THIS" on every one of his posts?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:58, Reply)
I 'll be crowned King of Off Topic.
But that's ok, I'll make you my Royal Hotel Zoologist.
Honestly, what sort of a person makes absurd claims about their qualifications on the internet?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:01, Reply)
He's your perfect match, Edmund.
You should marry him...
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:05, Reply)
NOT AGAIN!

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:10, Reply)
Show us your cock first!

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:56, Reply)
The St George's Hotel (Victoria)
The Strand Palace
Copthorne Tara Hotel London Kensington
Park Inn Hyde Park
Thistle Euston
Wedgewood Hotel ($859 holy smack)
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:36, Reply)
Park Inn Hyde Park
Is pretty decent.
We did the furniture for it.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:38, Reply)
I've stayed at the Park Inn but at another place in London and it was fine.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:40, Reply)
Was it fine after you left?
Or had you pooed in the wardrobe and rubbed your fanny on the taps?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:41, Reply)
You disgust me.
Did you know that?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:43, Reply)
I just hoped this was the case.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:45, Reply)
Yeah?
They're pretty decent hotels, not cheap, not too though expensive.
Plus, unlike a lot of London hotels, I've never heard reports of rooms being closed due to bug infestations.

Happens in a lot more hotels than you'd like to think.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:42, Reply)
What about Holiday Inn Bexley?
or Sleeping Beauty Motel? I only like it cause of the name, mind
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:47, Reply)
They both sound fucking shite.
I've got no evidence though.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:49, Reply)
oh alright then
ta for the advice!
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:50, Reply)
Just get some of that
gelatine gel stuff to smear on your thighs to prevent chaffage, then hike away. If you hike lots your things won't be as fat and you won't need the gel anymore.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:12, Reply)
Your things?
GTFO, Al. You are mindless.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:14, Reply)
Sorry that should have been thighs

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:22, Reply)
gelatin gel?
are you telling me to rub jello all over me?

have I wandered onto a weirdo porn or something?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:16, Reply)
Al is a sick man.
Very sick.
He'll be dead before you get here.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:17, Reply)
are you going to kill him?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:19, Reply)
Yes.
I shall squeeze him to death.
He'll love it.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:21, Reply)
She's going to
suffocate me with her muff. It'll be a great way to go.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:22, Reply)
We're both going to have a lot of fun.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:23, Reply)
Haha!

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:11, Reply)
My xbox broke a while back.
About a year and a half ago, in fact.
It was still in warranty, but I never got around to sending it off.
Now it's out of warranty.
Hmmm...
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:45, Reply)
have you bought a new one?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:47, Reply)
No.
It's just sitting there. Broken.
It's not even that "red ring of death" fault that's so common. It's some disk laser error.

Talking to one of my girlfriend's mates at the weekend, he said you can "give it" the "red ring of death" by wrapping it in a towel and turning it on for a few hours. This causes overheating.
The warranty for that fault is three years...
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:50, Reply)
will you send it off after you do that?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:54, Reply)
Yeah, I reckon so.
It'll be easier after I move.
They send UPS to pick it up, and they ALWAYS get lost trying to make deliveries to my house.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:57, Reply)
You keep chickens dont ya?
One of my ex-bats (Lucy) died yesterday. I feel heartbroken, she was doing really well.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:48, Reply)
Awh no, sorry to hear that!
I hatched five chickens out earlier in the year, yep.
They'd not started laying yet, so still pretty young, but full-grown-looking.
'til the fox got four of 'em last weekend.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:52, Reply)
Oh no!
I didn't know that.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:53, Reply)
That wasn't a fox,
the surviving chicken is to blame.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:53, Reply)
This is also possible.
Although it was very dedicated in that case.
Most chickens can't eat feathers or bone.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:55, Reply)
Taking after its owner
It's a psycho-pullet.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:56, Reply)
Oh shit!
Sorry to hear that. I had a fox in my garden a couple of weeks ago. This is going to sound odd, but I heard that male urine scares them off. So I used an old measuring jug to pee into and then marked out my garden. Havent seen the little bastard since.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:55, Reply)
What?
Why on earth didn't you just pee in your garden?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:58, Reply)
Because my garden is overlooked by my neighbours

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:00, Reply)
just do it at night?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:09, Reply)
Whilst shining a torch onto your cock?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:10, Reply)
It's the best way
otherwise you might dribble on your trousers.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:13, Reply)
Some people are so modest.
/relates
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:13, Reply)
^This
I need to mark the boundry of my garden, so I would need to save up a really big piss and then crab walk around the edge of my uneven slopey garden whist trying to avoid stinging nettles.

People have been locked up in padded cells for less.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:13, Reply)
This will be my new favourite YouTube clip.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:15, Reply)
Ha Ha!
Cheers, I think that's the first laugh i've had all day.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:18, Reply)
This one is excellent...
MIDGET FIGHT:
www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&v=mRnIXnBcAAo
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:24, Reply)
Must...not...laugh...
need...good karma...for remaining chicken...must. not. laugh.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:30, Reply)
You're allowed to laugh.
It's fucking HILARIOUS.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:31, Reply)
I still don't get whats wrong with the really little blokes legs
I presume he can't bend his knees right?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:33, Reply)
HE?
They're not PEOPLE!
Hahahaha!
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:36, Reply)
I went to a play at teh weekend
and there was a midget playing a clarinet. And he was black. Clendrix would have had a field day.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:36, Reply)
HAHAHA!
BEST PLAY EVER.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:37, Reply)
A black midget?
Truly ace.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:41, Reply)
Watch that video ^^^

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:43, Reply)
I'm sorry for your loss
hope this cheers you up
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:56, Reply)
Haha!
I'm not that bothered, it's just the way of the world.
Somewhere, on another internet forum, a woman will be sobbing into her keyboard, posting about how I grabbed the baby from her pram and ate it in front of her.
It's just nature really.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:58, Reply)
I've missed out on sex at least 3 times.
by not bothering to call/email/text the girl.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:51, Reply)
I doubt they would have missed much if you couldn't be that bothered to contact them.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:57, Reply)
hows the internet dating going?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 14:59, Reply)
Who knew men were so crap?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:00, Reply)
Me.
I'm one.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:01, Reply)
*raises hand*

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:02, Reply)
where?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:04, Reply)
Ok I always knew men were crap but I've just been reminded how utterly crap they are.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:08, Reply)
Who by?
Was it me? Ooooo, was it? Was it!?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:09, Reply)
No not you Al.
You're crapness is quite endearing. Like a puppy that keeps pooing on the rug.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:10, Reply)
I can do that too if you want

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:11, Reply)
I've decided to buy a gigolo
can you buy a gigolo?

okay, maybe I mean rent a gigolo
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:09, Reply)
I'm sure there's plenty of forrins that'd marry you for a green card.

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:13, Reply)
no, no
I can't get married then go frolicking around in foreign countries, silly
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:14, Reply)
Maybe we can all have a whip round and take turns.
Give him a hose down inbetween goes for cleanliness.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:13, Reply)
I'd like to put myself forward for the position of gigalo

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:19, Reply)
what can you do?
edit: what are you willing to do for money?
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:33, Reply)
Money?
Whatever you need

I provide my own vaseline
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 16:46, Reply)
I thought it was common knowledge?

(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:05, Reply)
Not really missed out on...
But I took chemistry to A2 solely due to being too lazy to do the paperwork needed to drop it.
(, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 15:45, Reply)

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