Since it's nearly September
What do you want for Christmas this year?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:15, 87 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think I want a poota
Roota's poota.
I only have one in work. At home/out and about I have to use my phone. It's getting a bit silly. Plus I can't really access filth at work.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Laptop, or tablet pc.
or clothes and that.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Are netbooks crap?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Depends what you want to use them for and which one you get.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:31, Reply)

I want something cheap
That gets me on the internet, lets me watch DVDs and dowload/listen to moosic.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:33, Reply)

Netbook should be fine for that.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Ta, la

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:41, Reply)

Except
You'll have to buy an external DVD drive, as I don't know of any netbooks that have optical drives.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Oh, I don't suppose that's a big deal
I could download films anyway couldn't I?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:42, Reply)

You most certainly could!
You dirty freeloading minx you.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:43, Reply)

That is me.
I never had the guts to shoplift. I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I went 9 months without a tv license.
Piracy? Wonderful!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Apple's tablet should (maybe) anounced in a few weeks.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:44, Reply)

My two front teeth
so I can wish a merry christmas.

I was in the Cornish Goldsmiths on Friday and they were playing Boney M's version of Mary's Boy Child.

Christmas!!!!
( Peej, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:23, Reply)

I'd quite like more of the pie that I'm eating for lunch
failing that, a delay pedal for my guitar and a pedal board to go with it and my other ones
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:26, Reply)

I would like just a week off - in general.
just get away from everything. Go camping at the beach. No internet, no people, no electricity. Just my paints(and by extension, some small canvasses and brushes), some food, sleeping bag and a swag.
Somehow think it won't be happening. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:28, Reply)

I would like a jolly good seeing too.
And a new cooker.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:31, Reply)

You can get by without the cooker.
Concentrate on getting a good seeing to. You won't care about the cooker. You'll live on crisps and sandwiches.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:32, Reply)

Yes but my parents will pay for a new cooker.
They will be stumped in supplying totty.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:38, Reply)

You're not thinking laterally
You tell your parents the cooker is more expensive than it is.
You use the money to get totty.
Your parents supplied totty.
:D
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Expensive cooker?
You don't know my step-dad : )


I'm not getting a gigalo. They are far too suave and sophisticated for my tastes. I like geeky and cheeky.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:45, Reply)

What about a geeky cheeky gigolo?
with a smidgin of suave?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:48, Reply)

I can't see that type being readily available.
Most women go more for the suave and less on the cheeky.

I think I'll just get a new cooker and fiddle with it's knob.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:52, Reply)

Break the mould!
I did. Once.
Anyway, don't listen to me. I know nothing. I always go off them after three weeks/three dates. And it's odds-on that when I DON'T go off one after three weeks/dates, he'll be the one that suns off and leaves me weeping along to Patsy Cline (but secretly relieved that I actually have a functioning ticker in my ribcage.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:56, Reply)

Bah humbug and all that
but I would like Christmas to just FUCK OFF and go away for one year.

It's not a season of goodwill to all men...it's a season when shops try and sell us shit we really, really, really don't need, any of us...with the poorest parents mortgaging their forthcoming year to buy presents for their kids which they can't afford, out of guilt and media pressure...

...families who don't see each other every year get together, get drunk and fall out...

...we all eat too much, drink too much and engage in forced hilarity.

It's not what Christmas should be about at all.

and yes, I would love to work with Shelter over Christmas, having children doesn't allow for me to do that sadly.

Secretly I think around 90% of sane adults know that Christmas is starting too early, going on for too long and is a pointless waste of time and money...

...but like the "sheeple" we are we put up with it.

FUCK CHRISTMAS !

Thank you and goodnight
( I_Was_Mordred, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:47, Reply)

Somebody needs a B3ta hug : )

( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Oh.
I felt that like a thud in my chest.
And you made my bottom lip wobble a bit.
I never spend a lot at Christmas. I still always have a lovely time. I like watching The Two Ronnies and Only Fools and horses with my mum and dad after we've got drunk and had naps. Then the Round the Corner relatives come through the hole in the fence and we eat cheese and drink more.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:53, Reply)

this is why I want to go away for a week.
I fucking hate my extended family. There are fights EVERY fucking year. Everybody gets way too pissed. Things are said that can't be taken back.

I'd much rather just have a week off to just hide away by myself.

EDIT: I realise this sounds harsh - but if you had my family - you'd feel the same.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:53, Reply)

Oh I know what you mean.
I generally win the argument when I tell my parents "Don't have THOSE ones round this year!"
They let them in last year and there was a bit of a do. They won't be back this year.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:57, Reply)

I have three (much older) sisters. They fight like nobody's business.
Last year the two older sisters (one of whom has FIVE kids) told my youngest older sister that she was a terrible mother to her three toddlers and she takes advantage of people for her own ends - just to hurt her. Neither statement is true - she's a fantastic mum and really cares about other people, she'd never try to hurt someone like that.

She left in tears and hasn't spoken to either of them since then.
Christmas sucks really.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:04, Reply)

My family always agree a limit and its always under a fiver
then its a challenge to get fun stuffs for each other. We do loads of singing go to all the nativity's and school plays and generally have a great time together rather than worrying about monies. My wifes family however spend hundreds of pounds. Her mum, dad and sister have all gone bankrupt in the last few years. They argue and fall out and don't sing any carols.

I think its down to church. I am an atheist but I still go to church around christmas cos it really does get me in to the spirit.
( Peej, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:29, Reply)

This post was inspired
by the fact that the local garden centre has had its Christmas decorations on sale since the beginning of fucking August. FFS, the end of October is soon enough for this sort of thing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 24 Aug 2009, 12:59, Reply)

I'd say the end of november really.
but shops don't make enough money that way.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:00, Reply)

Bloody hell!
I've just remembered that I'll be in New Zealand this Christmas. Woo!
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:00, Reply)

new zealand is fantastic at christmas.
where will you be?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Around Auckland.

( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:06, Reply)

Looking for
A geeky cheeky kiwi?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Nope!
Done long distance and got burnt.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Who said
anything about long distance? Can you not just indulge in a bit of holiday bedfuns?
(berk, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Too old now for quick and dirty.
I need long term gropage.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Ah dunnor.
I'm having a hard enough time deciding what I want for my nineteenth.

A kiss.
That'll be enough.
A real kiss, that is, the sparks-flying-West-Side-Story-style-blurring-of-surroundings etc etc.

V will get Sobranies for his 20th. It's scary that he'll be 20. He's getting so big :/
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:08, Reply)

*sigh*
*misty-eyed*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:10, Reply)

The last person I kissed, I didn't like very much.
And the last person I kissed wasn't even the last person I slept with.

I've had sex more recently than I've been kissed.

:'(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:14, Reply)

slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Ex-boyfriend who hates me?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:21, Reply)

Who me?
No I love you. Especially that top you are wearing today, is it new? Looking fab dhaaarrling
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Oh thank you honey :)
No, my ex didn't kiss me because he hates me.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Well he sounds like a cunt
Is he at least good in the sack?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Nope!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:59, Reply)

All girls have bad taste in men.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Eventually we learn.
I'm learning. I walked the fuck away from somone last month, 'cos I realised that to stay with him meant that I had terrible taste in men! he was gobsmacked. He'd evidently never been dumped. Why? Because women have terrible taste in men ; )
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:07, Reply)

Good on you,
I hope your sanity lasts, but I doubt it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Aw shit
Don't jinx me. You're right though. I'm on borrowed time, aren't I?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Yeah, you'll fall in love with gonzo in the next week

(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:23, Reply)

^This

( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Did you say "No kissing! I said don't kiss me!"
or did it just not happen?

EDIT ^ ah, right. Git. Don't go there again, woman.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:21, Reply)

I snuggled up to him. He told me to give him a blowjob.
This was with no foreplay or ANYTHING. I asked him if he wanted to kiss or anything beforehand, he was just like "No. I'm hard enough already"

:(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Next time
walk away or bite it off.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:26, Reply)

hahah
this is why I love you too!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:27, Reply)

back atcha
What a cheeky cunt!
Lampito, don't let anyone do that to you again. Do you hear me. I'll be very cross.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:30, Reply)

As will everyone else!
My friend thinks he treats me like "an inflatable sex doll", and most just hiss whenever his name comes up in conversation.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:01, Reply)

I do that about one of my mates ex's
I refer to her as the she devil.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)

He sounds like a catch/me
Marjory? Is that you?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:28, Reply)

hahahahahahahahaha

(PsychoChomp, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:33, Reply)

He ovbously respects you as a human being and a person.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Next time he gets frisky say to him.
I don't want sex, just some snogging and see how he likes that.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:31, Reply)

I doubt I'll see him in a frisky sitch for a while
I might just sit on him. That'll learn him.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:03, Reply)

I hate christmas too
Although the other day I learnt "X" was shorthand for Christ in ye olde days (I forget who exactly did that, I may peg it on the greeks) hence the origin of Xmas
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:16, Reply)

I heard it was something to do with the cross?

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Nein.
Twas due to the Latin number, X, because the letter that begins the Hebrew spelling of Jesus was the tenth in the alphabet. I forget the details, possibly it was 'Isvs' with I/J (they were the same letter in ye-Latin times) being the tenth letter of the Latin alphabet - or possibly it was the Hebrew equivalent of that.

I am an exciting man.

EDIT: Wikipedia has just proven me wrong. Go with the Greek explanation, it's better.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:54, Reply)

I knew about I and J
but never twigged they were next to each other thus being the same letter.

I'm a bit dense, I should have noticed that!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Twas indeed the Greeks
The soft "ch" sound from "Christos" is written as "X" in Greek.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:46, Reply)

There's a guy on another forum
Who posts as Xopher which I pronounced as "sofa" in my head until I realised.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Wouldn't say it was soft
It's a bit like the beginning of the proper way to say "Channukah", you just make a nasty noise in the back of your throat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:02, Reply)

I'm not entirely sure.
The trouble with validating your life every week with stryphome packaging, is that when a special day comes that leads to getting some styrophome packagaging, it's no longer special.

So I'm going to ask for a pescrption for a metric ton of opiats and a can of red bull. Just enough opiats to knock me out for a few days, that'll do me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:49, Reply)

A boyfriend
I don't care if he's sweaty, fat or spotty as long as he's clean.
I'd like him to be a little smarter than me but he doesn't make me feel stupid.
I'd like him to be funny, "haha" not "hehe"
One that doesn't use me for my money, I'm no where near rich and I don't want to spend all my money on him.
One that makes sure I'm taken care of even if he's already...ya know.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:51, Reply)

and if this isn't possible then I'd like a turtle.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Or one of these fellas....
images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&hs=sYZ&q=king%20charles%20spaniel&num=50&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

... much better than partners and all that rubbish.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:00, Reply)

I'd quite like one of
these
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)

THere you go then, get one of 'em.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Careful what you wish for...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I'm a firm believer in "wishes don't come true"

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:11, Reply)

They bloody well do
but it's not always a good thing.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:13, Reply)

If I were to wish for anything...ANYTHING...it'd be...an ice cold mountain dew to be in my hand RIGHT NOW
*wishes really fucking hard*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Sounds like
this.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:50, Reply)

hahaha must be better than
this
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 15:07, Reply)

I get two weeks off
at Christmas, and for the first time ever I will be able to spend them with my bloke. There's inevitably a row of some kind when I stay with my parents, so hopefully I'll manage to avoid that this year. I'll probably just row with my bloke instead...

Oh and for some reason I really want to learn to play the cello, but I seriously doubt I'll get given one.
(berk, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)

i'd quite like my life back
so just job, car, home, purpose in life please.

thanks santa
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:16, Reply)