So...
Three hours left 'til I quit work.
Then this time tomorrow I'll be loading the car, ready to move house.

What excitements are you lot up to this weekend?
( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:09, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm back at my parents sorting out more stuff to move
I've also put together a few ideas for an awesome workspace and sat around while going a little mad.
( Captain V, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:11, Reply)

Nice!
I've got a guy over in the workshop making me a "desk to fit in a Ford Fiesta" as we speak :D
( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:23, Reply)

I think my German U-Desk needs to be rethought
Currently it'd be a bit too much of a squeeze for CHCB and I to sit at it together. I prefer the U-Desk concept to the gigantacock-desk.
( Captain V, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Hey,
I've already said I'll sit on your cock lap.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:26, Reply)

I'm going to see you!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:12, Reply)

In less than two weeks, I'll be doing the exact same thing.
As for this weekend? An 18th tonight and two nights out on the town.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Any handjobs?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Probably not til freshers.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Fair enough
you want to move quick though, reputations don't build themselves you know.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Don't worry, I have that covered.
I've got a couple of friends in a band, none of whom are going to uni this year. They're planning on crashing my freshers on night, so I'll have four rather attractive lads sleeping on my floor.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Are you living in Owens Park?
Or somewhere less good?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I've got a friend in Owens Park.
I'm in Canterbury Court.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:23, Reply)

I went to school near Owen's Park
Trufax.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:27, Reply)

You must be the coolest person EVAH!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Oh yes I am.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:41, Reply)

How are your handjob skills?

edit - also, where are you going to Uni, I don't think I ever asked.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:42, Reply)

I hate handjobs.
And Kings London!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:49, Reply)

I'm meeting you later,
oh god I'm so excited.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Again?
I met you once. Nice tits.
( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:14, Reply)

YOUR A TIT

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:15, Reply)

No, no
you have tits.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Because you're a woman

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:16, Reply)

With breasts and a minge and all that

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I got some of those cigarettes.

( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Is it true that Wormulus is coming tonight?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Hello ladieez

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:17, Reply)

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Did you shop the scarf out?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:23, Reply)

No, he didn't seem to be wearing one
but I could always shop one in.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Lies, online.
He's ALWAYS wearing one.
( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Wheres that picture when you need it?
Not seen it for a while.


EDIT: Nevermind.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Nope.
MECHA-VOLTAN.
( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Oh, I wish I were there.
As in - black paper, gold filters, 100's, 2x10 box, FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TASTING cigarettes?


Oh, I'm jealous.
May I ask, how much, and where from?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Yeah.
£7.81.
Nothing's too good for my bitch.
( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Right, stocking up before I go away
10p will make ALLLL the difference.

(they're a tenner in edinburgh too)


I might start smoking a pipe. It looks great.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:24, Reply)

do it!
you will attract exactly the right sort of person if you smoke a pipe

(this is a serious message)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:34, Reply)

TO C. ASTONS!
I need to go and buy lots of sobranies anyway.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Shortcut to sophistication:
A pipe. Or one of those massive brandy glasses.
Which, interestingly, both require same hand contortion.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:37, Reply)

same as cupping rhino testicles
trufax
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Interesting.
I have thought they'd be bigger than that.
Or do I just have small hands?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:47, Reply)

I was thinking of a really big pipe
small hands isn't a bad thing though, makes the gentleman's unit look bigger
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:50, Reply)

playing 2 gigs
hopefully try out my new board :-D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:14, Reply)

winery, wedding, birthday party tomorrow
not so sure about sunday or monday
what should I do?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Cram your face with pork-products?

( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:20, Reply)

oh
er
nah
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Cake-products?

( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:22, Reply)

second best products

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:22, Reply)

em
naw
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:25, Reply)

WHAT THE HELL?
Where's your GOD-DAMN American PRIDE, woman?
( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I ate it

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Hahaha!

( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Best of all the products

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:22, Reply)

I'm
flying out to Jordan tomorrow morning, then spend the next couple of days driving a fast convertible back to the Midlands.

Despite sounding like awesome fun, it's usually pretty much the opposite, with long hours driving along some truly shit roads.

It's even worse if some of your colleagues have done a Top Gear-esque prank of putting a Boney M CD on repeat in your car and supergluing all the stereo controls...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:18, Reply)

AGAIN?
Those bastards!
( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Well
they've only done it the once so far, but I wouldn't put it past them again
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:33, Reply)

How do you get back from Jordan?
What's your route?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:22, Reply)

I've done that route a couple of times now
And went different ways both times.

The first time, I traced across the northern coast of Africa, taking in Israel, Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, Algeria and Morocco. Having a 4x4 helped a lot.

Then ferry from Tangiers to Algeciras. Drive up through Spain to Bilbao and then another ferry to Portsmouth.

The second time, I took the north Mediterranean route - Syria, Turkey, Bulgaria, Romania, Hungary, Austria, Germany, France then channel tunnel. This was a pain in the arse to be honest - I got held up for hours at the Syria/Turkey border, despite already having the paperwork already sorted.

Tomorrow, I'm doing the north Med route again. What fun...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Probably recovering from epic level hangovers
And buggering off to York for the day.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:18, Reply)

hahaha, you ledge(nd) !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Woo! "You can stick your job right up your fucking arse!"
Don't get on the train to Brighton though. Get in the car to The 'Port.
Give my regards to Maindee, remember me to John Frost Square.

I'm off out tonight. I'm staying in tomorrow. I'm going to an 80s rock night on Sunday.
Then I'm savin ma monnay.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Dunnorr
Not doing very much, I don't think. Buying things like clothes airers and cutlery for The Big Move in a couple of weeks.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:19, Reply)

I have nothing exciting planned.
No surprises there then : (




God! Everyone on here is shacking up together. I hate you all : (
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:30, Reply)

isn't it only 4 people?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:35, Reply)

I'm shacking up
because all my huts were terrible
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Yes well they keep talking about it so it seems like more.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Is there some sort of depraved b3tan sex den?
Who's the ringleaderlicker?
( Captain V, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:38, Reply)

CHCB
as well you know
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:41, Reply)

I don't hate them all
I just feel left out.
*wavy lines* Like when everyone was playing in Lesley Morgan's yard and they wouldn't let me in, and I wanted to be in their gang, but my dad saw me at the gate and said "Come 'ere mate. Fuck 'em all, they're twats."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:38, Reply)

I've got the whole weekend off
Yes, that's right, the WHOLE weekend, for the first time since.... I can't even remember.

I'm going to spend my new-found spare time skidoo-ing with Jeffrey from Rainbow and buttering the backside of Aldous Huxley.

EDIT I'll probably be crying alone in my flat, wearing soiled pants

Double EDIT Darn it, I've just realied that you're Kaol, so you probably can't even see this. I miss you Kaol, I miss you and your lovely, lovely face.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:34, Reply)

@Kaol
Just in case you have Bert on ignore, he misses your lovely, lovey face.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:39, Reply)

In the unlikely event that he does have bert on ignore
he won't see your reply either.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:41, Reply)

He's ignoring me
because we lost that loving feeling
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:43, Reply)

He can't see replies to my posts either silly
you'd have to post directly to his thread
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:42, Reply)

To be honest I don't care if he has you on ignore or not.
I was just trying to be funny.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:43, Reply)

You succeeded
but only because you're you
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:44, Reply)

I wish you lived nearer Bert.
I think you'd be man enough for me.


Although I'm not sure about getting Becky's sloppy seconds.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Strike the last comment from the record
as far as we're both concerned the incident never happened.

Point me in the right direction, I'll wander over, rigid and ready, impaling anybody who stands between us.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Of course he does.

( Cawl, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:43, Reply)

I'm going to sleep
as much as possible, but today I'm celebrating my last day at work for 6 months, woohoo!
I'm celebrating it by surfing t'internet, seeing as i'm working from home.
( ascorbate, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:34, Reply)

I'm going to be spending some quality time
with the girlfriend.

Playing in a pre-season friendly before all the Ra-ra-ra-Ruperts get back and the college football league starts aproper.

And I'm going to conquer Essex in the name of Cambridgeshire now that the last of the Vampires has left.

This weekend has WIN written all over it.





And linebreaks too!
( djtrialprice, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Girlfriend?
You have a girlfriend?

sorry

You have a girlfriend?

How did that happen?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:47, Reply)

He had his hair cut and finally women could see his face.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:48, Reply)

pretty much what BGB said
Yep, I've managed to trick a lady into spending time with. I just need to make sure she never gets to know me properly or the jig will be well and truly up.
( djtrialprice, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Hasn't worked for me :(

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Shave the back of your head
and draw a handsome face on it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Then I could stand between two mirrors
and pretend I was getting a reach-around from a beautiful stranger.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Ha!
That may well be the sexiest thing I've ever read on B3ta
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:06, Reply)

Give it time Wookie : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:03, Reply)

next time you're out at the pub
with clendrix, tell hot women that you're her carer. They love the strong, sensitive type.
( djtrialprice, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:04, Reply)

^This
Hahahaha!
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:05, Reply)

I had hoped that people would just assume....

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:06, Reply)

to be fair it's confusing
she claims to be yours when you're out of earshot
( djtrialprice, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Assumptions make an ass of u and me
I wish somebody would punch whoever made that up, if they're dead they need digging up and punching, I'd gladly do it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:09, Reply)

I think that one was coined by Jade Goody
She's buried in some forest south of Stansted off the M11.
( djtrialprice, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:12, Reply)

I'll fucking have her for that
Would anybody mind if I came on her face too? It's not that I fancy her or anything, I just like the idea of my sperms getting cancer.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:13, Reply)

I think I may get back in touch with that guy who wanted me to tie him up.
Although it depends what's on the TV this weekend.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Brothers stag -
here: www.barclayclub.ie


Best Man Of The Year goes to me!

oh, and probably NSFW (scantily clad ladies)
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 14:48, Reply)

ym

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 15:31, Reply)

moving house
but remaining in 2009, not moving back to the 1970's as you are.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 16:42, Reply)