Morning.
Hope it finds you all in wondrous fettle. The sky is clear, birds are singing and it's not too cold. What a wonderful world.

What's getting on your tits already?

(Spluff does not count as an answer unless POIDH).
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 7:25, 67 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

what's getting on my tits?
the fact my brother announced this morning that 5 of his mates are crashing tonight. so there will be six 16 year old boys in the house, eating ALL the food and being loud and obnoxious (I do not say this as a prejudgement - it's happened before).

But never mind. How're you mate?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 7:32, Reply)

They will be smelly as well
boys of that age have a kind of special odour which washing alone cannot remove.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 7:49, Reply)

I know... believe me I know
if the stench that emanates from my brother's bedroom is anything to go on.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:07, Reply)

hence
drowning themselves in vile lynx smells instead
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:07, Reply)

Boy smell, Lynx smell
It's all vile. Empty a bucket of ambergris over them, that will work wonders.
(stimpy, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:36, Reply)

Pissed off.
I'm crook and my internets is fucked as well.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 15:13, Reply)

an eye infection
and a serious lack of sleep is getting on my tits. Can't complain though, the lack of sleep is due to my 3 week old boy having an all night shit-fest.
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 7:45, Reply)

the builders outside my apartment
sounds like they are racing tipper trucks
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:08, Reply)

I got in to work 5 minutes ago
I have not yet had my tea. I do not start until 9.00. I don't want to talk about work related stuff, particularly with the scary warehouse man who never meets my eyes!
(stimpy, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:38, Reply)

So far nothing
I've got a bottle of Diet Coke (fuck off, I prefer to Full Fat in bottles), a packet of Monster Munch (Beef) and 4 cans of Relentless waiting for me in the fridge downstairs (I've not had any noticeable sugar since sunday, and am going insane)

But there's plenty of time to go!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:43, Reply)

I'm getting on my own tits
I'm a mong. I went out after work, celebrating the success of something we've been working on. I then ate cheesy chips. I then went home and made bacon butties. I then opened some champagne I'd won in a raffle. I then text nonsense to all-and-sundry. Oh noes. On a positive note, it's very sunny and for the first time, I slept in my newly-decorated spare room and DIDN'T have nightmares!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:48, Reply)

Hair in the bath.
Girls are yuck.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:55, Reply)

But they're all soft and curvy
which I think makes up for it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:01, Reply)

I'm sitting around,
Being unemployed.
I've applied for ALL the jobs, playing the waiting game now.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:01, Reply)

That sucks
Hope you get something soon. What are you doing while waiting? I hope it's soemthing that involves horns. Horns are good.
(stimpy, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:03, Reply)

While I'm waiting?
Erm... So far today I've put in some washing, fed the Triops and had a shower.

Other plans involve "computer games" and "going for a walk to get more smokes".
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:06, Reply)

These are both good plans
My other thought while you were waiting involved large quantities of close fitting leather clothes, crossbows and senior members of the banks. I suspect this was not such a good idea, however.
(stimpy, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:08, Reply)

He looks good in close fitting leather

(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:10, Reply)

So I've heard.
Although I kinda fancy making a crossbow now.
Sometimes life is easier when you have access to woodworking machinery.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:12, Reply)

Crossbows rock
I want to get a new one, something decent this time - my cheapo one I got from one of the replica weapons websites is cracking on the big springy bit. Sadly, I am lacking in the wood and metalworking stills to make one.
(stimpy, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:22, Reply)

I think you should have a wank outdoors
Keep the spark alive.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:09, Reply)

I absolutely WOULD...
But my neighbours are dolescum, so the woman spends all day running into the garden after epic shouting matches with the man.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:11, Reply)

film or record
the insane spoutings from these walking abortions, then edit and upload the best bits for us all to consume
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Tempting.
But the walls are that annoying thickness.
I can hear it when they decide to shout the place down at half four in the morning, but I can't hear actual words.

Unless, of course, there are no words. This is a possibility.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:19, Reply)

you are in Wales
of course there are no words
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:51, Reply)

This is quite possible.
Apparently my "fake Welsh" accent makes me "sound gay". I don't think they've realised that they all sound like that...
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Does it make you sound
like that plank form Little Britain - or is that just how you dress?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:00, Reply)

I have no idea.
I've never managed to watch more than five minutes of Little Britain.
It's like giant nails down a chalk billboard to me.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:01, Reply)

you must have
at least seen him in the adverts - the tubby fucker dressed in ridiculously tight PVC
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Rings a bell, yeah.
I'll stick to "sahndin' all Essiks-like".
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:07, Reply)

What kind of things are you
going for? Hope you get one!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:13, Reply)

Lab tech stuff
In schools.
I did a week work experience in one and had a great time, and they've promised me a tasty reference.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:15, Reply)

Sweet
as we all know you are Dr. Terrible.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Haha!
I need to get that on DVD.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:37, Reply)

It's so good

(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:41, Reply)

My favourite NPH quote EVAH!
is out of Harold and Kumar escape form Guantanomo Bay when he goes

"What does the PH stand for in NPH?"

"Errrrr, Patrick Harris?"

"WRONG! It's POON HANDLER!"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Isn't NPH
"Dr. Horrible"?
Dr. Terrible is Steve Coogan.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:57, Reply)

You
have applied for all the jobs in Wales?

So, prop forward, drunken poet, 3 posts involving animal interference and a miserable racist landlord?
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Yeah, pretty much!
Next week I've got a load of freelance design work coming my way, letterheads and business cards, that kinda thing.
Should pay the bills.

You moved now, anyhow?
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:37, Reply)

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Finally!

Got me little library constructed, more alcohol than is strictly necessary and a distinct lack of furniture but its all cool. Peace and quiet, no fighting to get into the bathroom in the morning and no fucking housies scoffing all my food.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Nice!
Glad to hear it!
I'm at that awkward point where we're moving again, in a couple of weeks, so trying not to get too comfortable here.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:42, Reply)

ooof
I have done that, I think my record is 4 places in a year, culminating in renting a house that was "being decorated" which meant we had half a bathroom, no dining room, a lounge that consisted of a sofa, telly and a thousand boxes for the entire period we were in it.

So apart from being unemployableed how is life in the Valleys?
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Fuck...
That's a fair bit of moving!

I'm having a great time here, and the whole "living with girlfriend" is going swimmingly.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:53, Reply)

awesome
glad its going well for you sir
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:59, Reply)

just wank while standing up and walking around
then you won't develop a favourite wanking spot by accident.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:47, Reply)

More alcohol than neccessary?
Surely there is no such thing! A library combined with peace and quiet sounds sweet.
(stimpy, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Its
alllllright, have had most of my books in the loft for over a year so ploughing through some old favourites.

I think 3 bottles of whisky and 2 cupboard shelves chokka is a little excessive for little old me
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Depends how long you take to drink it
With my boys, I think it would last a couple of weeks. Curling up in a little library, favourite book and a glass of good whisky, sounds all of win. At risk of prying, can I ask what you've currently got reading?
(stimpy, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:55, Reply)

pry away
although im vanishing off to meetings shortly

Just finished the Engines of Light Trilogy, im piling through all the Iain M Banks Culture novels, then have Redemption Ark by Alastair Reynolds lined up.

Not that i'm on a sci-fi romp or anything
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 9:58, Reply)

some good books there
I just finished reading Matter by Iain M Banks. It was good, but the ending is a bit abrupt. Not sure about it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Not a Sci-Fi binge at all!
Looks like good stuff, and has been added to my "Get cheap copies off Amazon List". Currently on Tuf Voyaging by George R R Martin here, but certainly need something after that! Have fun in the meetings, that one I don't envy you for.
(stimpy, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Ok...
Heard good things about Iain M Banks.

I'm up for giving it a try, what's your top recommendation?
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:06, Reply)

read The Player of Games
then Consider Phlebas

or the other way round I guess. Doesn't matter, they are all good.

also, if you haven't already, read The Wasp Factory. I think you will particularly enjoy it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Ok then.
Wasp Factory sounds like fun. I'll give that a flick first.
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:10, Reply)

wasp factory isn't one of his sci fi ones
but the non sci fi, written as Iain Banks contains several of my favourite books ever. If you are going down that route, also read Espedair St.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:11, Reply)

And The Crow Road and Complicity
And The Bridge, but don't read the newer ones and they are really not very good.

Walking on Glass is pretty good though.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:14, Reply)

This always happens.
*sighs*
I shall buy ONE book.
Which one should it be?
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:17, Reply)

The Wasp Factory

(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Thank you.

( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I watched the BBC thing of the Crow Road recently
not bad

Dead Air is a pretty good read too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:04, Reply)

seconded
Although I would say against a dark background is my fave, then the Culture novels, you would love use of weapons I think.
Someof his un-M books are a bit odd though, walking on glass, canal dreams and a song of stone are hard reads
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:17, Reply)

hormones.
I fucking hate hormones.

Also, this conference talk is getting on my tits as it's nowt new or groundbreaking and it doesn't fawn all over my previous work in some kind of chcb research homage. Standards are obviously slipping.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Throw something random out there
Suggest greased up bikers are used in some sort of experiment. Something like that. Something that will make them fall to their knees in homage to your greatness.
(stimpy, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:08, Reply)

my main fucking client
after ages of small amounts of work (say no more than 5/6K words a week per language), in the past week they have thrown us 80k words - per fucking language. Which is fine when it's general text, and using widely known software - but it's not, the software isn't as available as the rest, and it requires masses of training. And they expect us to turn it round in half the normal time. Well, fuck off you big bunch of cunts!!!
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:08, Reply)

I just read the title.
You're a hooker?
( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:09, Reply)

no
but ym does leave me money when she goes
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:12, Reply)

It'd be rude not to!

( Cawl, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 10:13, Reply)