Biggest Present for Under a tenner.
Some girl that im trying to chat up is doing a bit of xmas themed presents between her friends/family. And the idea is, is to find the biggest present for under a tenner. With the only claus that it has to be somewhat useful. So she's asked me to see if I can find something.
Because I'm lazy / too busy to traul the internet myself for something of a massive size. I thought i'd ask on here for all you b3tans advice.

If she manages to win with the biggest present, then I might get an opportunity to give her a big present myself :D
(Miggyman, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:05, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

toilet paper
buy in bulk
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:07, Reply)

So basically you want B3ta to help you get laid?
And what do we get?
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:08, Reply)

it'd better be photos
how about £10 worth of polystyrene packaging peanut things. that's bound to take up loads of room. edit: only 2.5 cubic feet for a tenner. that's not good at all...

or coal
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Big girls blouse:
More amazing funny whitty QOTW answer that'll have you streaming with laughter :)

Edit - yeah or photos if you dont find my QOTW answers that great
(Miggyman, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:10, Reply)

I'd be happy with photos.
But only if your girlfriend is taking them.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Yes
but of herself...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:31, Reply)

I'm sure if you go on Ebay you could find a tent or similar for a tenner.

( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:15, Reply)

cha-ching
this is what you want
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ford-granada-scorpio-88-e-spares-auto-repair_W0QQitemZ170387616220QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_CarsParts_Vehicles_CarParts_SM?hash=item27abe4b1dc&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:17, Reply)

And they say romance is dead.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:30, Reply)

haha virpos you are a legend.
You can have a go on her after me if you want!
(Miggyman, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:11, Reply)

Popping corn pop corn, then pop them.
You should get loads for a tenner.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I mean, non-popped pop corn.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Fine then, fuck the lottaya, this was an awesome suggestion.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:46, Reply)

best suggestion yet if you ask me
if you are looking for most volume for your tenner then popcorn has got to be right up there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Right up where?
Oooh, that's gotta feel good when it pops.
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:50, Reply)

you should try it
it's well known that you are hot and oily enough to pop corn ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:52, Reply)

*pops off to Waitrose*
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaaaa
Oh dear...
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:56, Reply)

WHO WANTS SWEET AND WHO WANTS SALTED?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:10, Reply)

BECAUSE I GOT BOTH

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Don't flounce too far.
You'll fall off your roof.
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:49, Reply)

pencils

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Up your fanny

(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:19, Reply)

(english fanny, not american fanny)

(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:19, Reply)

TOO SMALL FOR THE BAT CAVE
roffle
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Your best bet is something inflatable.
I'm not answering your question I'm talking about your love life.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:22, Reply)

LOL
haha :D Too true! Inflatables dont give you grief when u come home pished from a night out with the lads.
(Miggyman, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:31, Reply)

I know someone in China who could get you a cute baby for a tenner.
What sex would you like?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:28, Reply)

What about that huge 19lb baby born over there.
I'm sure you'd win with that bugger.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Indonesia isn't China.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Oh I didn't realise it was Indonesia.
It's usually China where all the freaks are born.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:36, Reply)

*gasps*
and here I was thinking they lived in Milton Keynes....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:39, Reply)

That's where they live now
but they weren't necessarily born there.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:44, Reply)

That's fucking slander that is.
I don't even live in Milton Keynes.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Is it slander?
Are we counting posts as spoken word?
If so, everyone should be typing words that reflect their accents.
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Ah
Everywhere I go, I get slandered, libeled
I hear words I never heard in the Bible
And I'm one step ahead of the shoe shine
Two steps away from the county line
Just trying to keep my customers satisfied, satisfied.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:03, Reply)

HEY THERE I HAD INDIAN AT THE WEEKEND

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:18, Reply)

OOh
What did you have, Krispina?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:20, Reply)

chicken tikka, naan, cucumber sauce, chicken curry, rice
want
moar
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:24, Reply)

More-or-less what I get
Also mint raita, chutney, bjajis and poppadums :-)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:25, Reply)

no one knew what to order so we cheated and hit up the buffet
we were all quite pleased, and couldn't stop eating...I think I'm still stuffed
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Yes
It's a really nice kind of stuffed!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:36, Reply)

I'll not be doing that
Ye widnae hae a clue whit Ah wis sayin.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:03, Reply)

*immediately puts on 'ignore'*

( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:12, Reply)

SmugStreet Boyz

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Any kind of sex will do, preffably cowgirl, but you know, beggers'n'choosers.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Once again, b3ta doesn't disappoint.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:52, Reply)

What about a cardboard box?
I'd imagine you'd get a pretty big empty box for a tenner.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I bet Christmas is fun in your house.
[mumbles] Scottish, tight, deep-fried, kilts, haggis
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Well, I only suggested it
as I know what size of box you can get for a fiver.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:01, Reply)

Because that's what you bought your mrs for her birthday this year

(Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Got it
in one.

Except that I got it in a sale, so it only cost me £3.50
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:04, Reply)

how big
is a 5 quid box?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:03, Reply)

Big enough
to fit a whole pile of emptiness inside.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:05, Reply)

My heart should just about fit then.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:07, Reply)

cheer up you emo cunt.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:09, Reply)

*beams*
Rub that sunshine right into your face.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:10, Reply)

I'm stealing that.

( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:08, Reply)

five bux says you use it in refferance to your heart or minge.
*sigh*, I bet that's your facebook status now.

copy cat. =(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:13, Reply)

FUCKING BOXES, FUCK YEAH !
My dad used to bring me home huge boxes every week from the deliverys, big enough to make huge basses in, lighten by stolen skip lights.

FUCK YEAH

Boxes are AWESOME.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Well
didn't Ken Bates purchase Chelsea for a pound?

Rover was sold by BMW for £10

Come on, think BIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! offer to buy British Airways for her for £9.54 and some sucky sweets
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:25, Reply)

A couple of cans of expanding foam
would end up pretty big if you just emptied them on her desk/car/favourite pet.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:42, Reply)

or in a big cardboard box

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:48, Reply)

Oooohhh ooohh
Can't you buy stars?
Maybe you could get one of them for a tenner.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:52, Reply)

You can for about $20
which is over budget but maybe you can find it cheaper.

oh thanks psychochomp you're so helpful.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:13, Reply)

helpful full of shit ideas

can tell you're a girl
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:15, Reply)

I'm extremely late in joining this party
However, I'd like to respond to BGB's earlier comment:

So basically you want B3ta to help you get laid?

What the hell bloody point is there to this site other than that!?

giggity
( djtrialprice, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:07, Reply)

You can "buy" an acre of the moon for £9.99
www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/blow-the-budget/acre-of-the-moon.html?gclid=CO3317GSl50CFYVk4wodNiNN2g

You'll have to make up the usefulness of it by yourself though.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:37, Reply)

I'm going to have to stick to my guns here
and proclaim this as a shit idea.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:42, Reply)

10 shopping trolleys.
At a pound each they are a bargain, and practical.
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 29 Sep 2009, 18:00, Reply)