That thread's dead, so answer me this Halloween-inspired question:
When was the most scared you've ever been and why? Did a bit of wee come out?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:37, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Being a cat's whisker away from
several years in prison's worth of drugs being discovered on my person.

To this day I cannot believe I didn't get caught.

*shudders*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:41, Reply)

and in at number 2
is the time I very nearly died in a car crash but freakishly had not a scratch on me. Still scared of cars, 20 years later, mind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:42, Reply)

I smuggled a single pre-rolled skunk joint through Schiphol and Birmingham Airports
in a baggie in my shoe. I was eighteen and very, very nervous.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:44, Reply)

ever seen Midnight Express?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:48, Reply)

Pineapple Express, yes.
Midnight Express, no.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:51, Reply)

midnight express has boobies.
and a guy biting someone elses tongue off.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:53, Reply)

Best moview review ever

I know from these few words that I want to see midnight express, well done.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:54, Reply)

WARNING
It also has traumatic Turkish prison bumrape, if I remember correctly
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:02, Reply)

Yeah, but didn't you read my comment, it has BOOBIES in it.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:08, Reply)

Turkish man-boobies?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:13, Reply)

This is the only time I remember being scared shitless.
I was ten, in the library at school. A girl was about to sit on a chair and I pulled it out from underneath her so she landed flat on her arse. I didn't realise the nasty teacher was stood right behind me and she literally picked me up by my ear and dragged me outside and gave me a bollocking I've never forgotten. I was shaking for hours afterwards. And yes, when she picked me up, a little bit of wee came out.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Nothing to do with ghosts.
One night I ended up all alone in the top floor flat of a guy who was a bouncer and who I drunkenly flirted with and who expected me to sleep with him.


I've never sobered up so fast in my life when I realised I didn't want to sleep with him and I wasn't sure how he would take that.

Scared the shit out of me.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Btw.
No wee but he probably did that pre-cum thing.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:58, Reply)

The time I was kidnapped by a crack addict

I had foolishly gone out without my Honda Accord so I was defenceless.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:48, Reply)

I posted this message
on an internet forum and this someone who's name sounded a bit like a large female shirt said I was a horrible bully. I got really upset and cried a bit.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Ghey!

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:52, Reply)

like bike, like owner.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:52, Reply)

Standing on the edge of the Great Ledge at Wintour's Leap in the Wye Valley
and knowing that I've got to abseil down the 200 or so feet rock face...for the first time ever using just a prussic to stop me falling to my death.
www.spadout.com/wiki/index.php/Prussic


www.ukclimbing.com/logbook/c.php?i=33286 - the photo that appears here I took - on another day's climb there and this is at the bottom.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:53, Reply)

You is well ard innit.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:56, Reply)

Yep.
*lights match on stubble*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:58, Reply)

You haven't been shaving PJM's balls again have you?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:59, Reply)

Nope
mine
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:03, Reply)

oh..here's a pic from the top of the ledge
www.ukclimbing.com/images/dbpage.html?id=72813

I used to climb with two of these guys regularly....a lot of fun ;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:03, Reply)

I was skiing
Aged about fifteen. I fell on a 45 degree sheet of ice, lost both skis and skidded head over heels about 200m down this ridiculous slope, taking someone out along the way.

All I could see was the rocks at the bottom of the slope getting closer and closer as I tumbled towards them. Luckily, I missed.

No wee, but I felt incredibly scared, cried a little, then when I dtopped, I had the biggest adrenaline high I've ever epxerienced and kept screaming with joy for a couple of minutes.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:54, Reply)

I had to ride with a customer home and bring his vehicle back to work so we could work on it
he drove, I was in the passenger seat, he's playing some super creepy violin music, and suddenly I feel like I'm in the car with Hannibal Lecter.
He's humming, moving his hand ever so slightly to the music. We're driving down a winding country road. The forest begins to get dense and dark.
But we're nowhere near our destination. I'm gripping the arm rest until my fingernails leave indents in the leather, all of the hairs are standing on the back of my neck and I'm beginning to hyperventilate. The trees aren't getting any lighter, eventually there's only slight rays of sun shining through the tiny spaces between leaves.
Then we pull into his driveway. He unbuckles his belt, turns to me.
He smiles wickedly and says "So I guess you'll call me when it's ready?" I say yes.
He gets out, hobbles up the stone walk to his house and I scramble to get into the driver's seat, shitting myself and chastising myself the whole way back.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:01, Reply)

Weren't you carrying your gun?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:06, Reply)

I don't have one :(
edit: although nothing happened, that was honestly the most scared I've ever been in my life
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:09, Reply)

Well you're a crap American then.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:10, Reply)

How many knives do you own?
edit: other than your kitchen knives.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:12, Reply)

Two.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:16, Reply)

We don't have it written into our constitution to be able to bear arms or whatever it says.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:17, Reply)

It's BARE arms.
It's just about tank tops.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:19, Reply)

what's that got to do with anything?
if you don't know what it says, whats the point in talking about it?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)

I was making a joke saying you were a crap American you know.
I just thought I'd point that out before we go any further.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)

I know how to clean, load and shoot a gun.
I just don't own one.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Then you are a very good American and should get a badge or something saying so.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:32, Reply)

silly

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:35, Reply)

How fucking anal is that?
You know how to clean a gun! Who cares how clean your gun is? It's the pointing bits of metal that whizz out of it and kill you that impress people, not whether it's shiny or not.

Bloody women and their cleaning obsession.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Repost from CP's days in the Eastern bloc
Most scared I've ever been?
Being driven down the loooong road between Donetsk and Melitopol in the Ukraine. Windscreen and two side windows disappear in a cloud of glass and the driver speeds up!
Only crapped myself when we traced the bullet paths and one had gone past my neck and into the C pillar.
Great lunch in the factory I was visiting though.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:08, Reply)

No shots fired at me
but I had an automatic weapon pointed at me by a policeman when I was in a taxi in Kuala Lumpur, which made my sphincter flex. Horrible bloody things, guns.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:14, Reply)

I was once standing at a bus stop when
a car came screeching around the corner with a guy holding a sawn-off shotgun was leaning out the window closely followed by a speeding police car - I stood shocked - this is sleepy Kent!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:15, Reply)

or, to quote Brian Johnson
'me arse was goin' like a rabbit's nose'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:16, Reply)

Haha
Spot-on.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Every time there's a spider.
/pansy
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:09, Reply)

Get some conkers
and that's not a euphemism - conkers are supposed to keep spiders away apparently.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Only when fresh...
...once your conkers are dried up they do not repel the 8 legged bastards.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)

So it does work then?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Yes...
...but Daddylonglegs are not bothered at all.

Put a plate of conkers in a room and test it out; best way to stop spiders coming in is to get rid of cob-webs - the scent attracts more.

Are you impressed I avoided making a crap joke about having a bag of conkers you can get a hold of?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Molecular Biology of the Cell, 3rd Edition,
does the job pretty well.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)

That, and
Fundamentals of Computer Graphics, 2nd Edition.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:22, Reply)

And for the REALLY nasty ones,
a Swiffer.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)

I recently had 3 giant man-eating spiders with webs from my window boxes to my window.
I asked Catface to smash them to bits with a large piece of timber. "That might break the window!" he replied. And I nodded in agreement.

Flamethrowers. That's the answer.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:31, Reply)

I would certainly be happy to study the viability of burning spiders to death.
My fear is that the web would go first, dropping them out of the line of fire to safety.

I may have thought about this too much.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)

I have one of those super dooper spider catcher plastic thingamajiggies.
Most of the time I accidently squash them with it when trying to get them inside.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Try murdering them on purpose.
It's the safest way.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Hairspray...
...really fucks them.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:39, Reply)

finally
a purpose for that damn book
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Exchange visit to Franfurt
15 years old, been drinking, woke 4am to find a large, hairy German bloke in my bunk with his erect cock in hand.

I suppose I was asking for it being young and beautiful.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:19, Reply)

So I'd sprinted into a brick bbq, at midnight in the Sherwood Forest
And I'm lying there, dressed as a ninja, knowing full well that I've broken my leg. My friends gather round me and try to keep my spirits up while wait for the ambulance to arrive. One friend, a nurse, is assessing the damage and keeping me from moving (not that I was planning on going anywhere).

All's well and good until the ambulance crew arrive. They take my details, ask what happened, and are fantastically professional in ignoring my ninja outfit, or the crowd of samurai around me (thankfully they'd sheathed their rubber swords). They get the pat slide out, and start to move me, when something horrific happened.

I felt a pop in my leg.

I mention this rather casually (endorphins are awesome), and the paramedics go rather pale and stare at my leg. The broken bone had moved and sliced an artery.

I'd been alright until that point, laughing with my mates and calling myself a stupid prat, but seeing the fear on the faces of the paramedics shook me to my core. I lost rather a lot of blood that night, but they did a sterling job of keeping me both alive and stable.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Noooo.
Bleeeeeeeuuuurgghhhhhhhh!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Walking down Jomtien Beach Road in Thailand alone at 4am,
then realising that's when the gang members come out to play.
( Sunburn Go on.... It's character building!, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Watching my boy being born
And a fuck load of doctors, nurses and other assorted medical staff come charging in to the delivery suite :0(

Luckily he was fine, just had a wonky head and a bent toe (and a birthmark on his bum)

I didn't do a wee but I got very scared and did a little cry.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Amsterdam
4am walking through the Red light district. Been drinking and taking mushrooms.

By 4am I had a pimp strut on, and as we walked past a gang of 'something for the nose gents'(hardcore gangstas) walking the opposite direction I kissed my teeth at them as we passed.

Why the fuck I decided to do that was beyond me, but although I did not turn round to look I could feel the eyes burning into the back of my head. We were right by our room, so had to tell my mate to carry on walking past it, lest we be broken into and bum raped whilst we slept.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)