The new office I've moved to has a cleaner
She emptied my bins and put new bins bags in them and she cleaned my coffee cup. I've never had a cleaner before, I'm used to working in squalor. It's the most amazing thing ever, I now feel obliged to keep my office much tidier than ever before.

What has made you happy today?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:27, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'll tell you what hasn't made me happy
I was waiting for the bus, listening to black sabbath (sweet leaf at the time), and I noticed a colleague sauntering down the road to the bus stop. This meant that I had to be engaged in conversation of a semi-work-related nature while waiting for the bus, while on the bus and while working from the bus to the office.

This spoiled the peaceful half hour I get in the morning when I can listen to music and perhaps read my book for a while.

Most inconsiderate.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:30, Reply)

You're a miserable cunt today.
CHEER THE FUCK UP!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:31, Reply)

it was all because of my journey to work being spoiled
I'll get over it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:32, Reply)

This is the worst thing ever

happens to me almost daily, I've had to start avrying my route and timings to get some peace and quiet!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I have clicked that
I HATE having to take my earphones out and talk.
And I love talking.
But not when it's interrupting music and walking time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:44, Reply)

thanks for your support
fortunately it doesn't happen often. the guy in question had left his bike at work for some reason.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:52, Reply)

I do not understand this, but I do it as well.
I think cleaners have a sweet deal - my mum got a cleaner and immediately started doing more housework than she ever had before, as she didn't want the cleaner to get a bad impression of her.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:31, Reply)

For everyone like us and your mum
there is the cleaner who has to clean Gonz and Sexfaces flat.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:32, Reply)

haha
too true

one of my uni housemates had a job as a cleaner of a gym, in a scummy part of Cardiff. The horror....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I did that for a while, not in Cardiff though.
I have many bizarre tales to tell. Plus lots of drinks bottles, padlocks and sweat towels.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:17, Reply)

I made a cracking cup of tea

That's about it for now...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:32, Reply)

You have a cleaner that cleans??
WOW!

Our office cleaners leaves little weird parcels of rubbish on peoples desks, I also got an early Xmas pressie yesterday which was a coffee cup, full to the brim with weird green-looking water on my desk... its lovely. :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:33, Reply)

our new cleaners clean
our old one was shit. she used to bitch about us leaving stuff on the floor near or desks, or about us leaving glasses and stuff on the desks.

I had to leave a glass on my desk or I'd end up without a pint glass because one of the thieving cunts in environment would have it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:35, Reply)

My coffee tastes a bit odd actually
I may have to go and rinse my mug and make a new one. But the thought of cleaning my mug is still lovely.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:37, Reply)

we get a guy coming in now and then to check that our cleaner has done a good enough job.
he wears white gloves and runs his finger along the windowsill. Then he inspects it, tuts, and writes on a clipboard.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Hehe that's great
I think our office should get someone like that. We tend to fire lots of cleaners as they're all good for about a week and then they start being weird and stop hoovering.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:40, Reply)

our company is quite big
and as a cost saving measure we now have the same companies for things like cleaning and stationary across the UK. So they get judged quite harshly. Pretty sure the person who checks is employed by the cleaning company. Unless he's just a madman, like the guy who tests the fire alarm.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Hehe we also have a madman that
checks our fire alarms and extinguishers... he's a proper east end crazy ex-fireman and he scares me... he also has a great big bushy beard! Hehe
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:47, Reply)

this guy is a scrawny weirdo with long grey hair
every thursday, round about now, he will come in and run the incredibly loud alarm for about a minute. Which is far too long.

A couple of weeks ago he did it for 10 seconds or so, but clearly didn't satisfy him, so he came back in the afternoon and did it again.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:52, Reply)

You can dance to our alarm
It comes in waves along the wings of the building, so it builds up all ravey.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Do you have whistles?
Because its not a rave without whistles! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:53, Reply)

course we have whistles!
I'm the fire-shouty person so I even have a high-vis vest.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Sexy

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Yeah, one of our workmen gave me a hard-hat too
So I'm actually well sexy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Awww there there
its okay, its nearly Friday... breathe.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:38, Reply)

it's ok, doesn't happen anymore :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Waking up, turning the TV on, and seeing something called 'In The Night Garden'.
It is the very definition of 'surreal'. I don't know what it's about, but there's something called a macca-pacca in it.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:38, Reply)

We do the TMs for that too
Fancy fancy, tra la la, fancy, fancy, ooooooooh.

Also, you're at home, in your pants, watching the telly... boooooo.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:39, Reply)

HAHA
I think he should annoy you by texting you photos of him in his pants at home doing nothing.

I'm sure there's an app for that.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:42, Reply)

He does that when he's in the office too
Do you not get the pants texts?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:44, Reply)

He doesn't know my mobile number

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Ah playing it
aloof I see.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:54, Reply)

AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Sexy benefits?
I suppose that's implied really...
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Actually I have tried to give you my number on several occasions
but you never responded or texted me or ANYTHING. So actually it's me that should be hurt. YOU BITCH!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:58, Reply)

Ahem.
Check your 'phone.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:17, Reply)

What's TMs?
I keep meaning to watch In the Night garden because every clip I've seen has been mint.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:47, Reply)

trade marks baby!
Also ello? How are you doing mrs?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:48, Reply)

Woop!
I'm flyyyyy. How's you?
*I'm not fly. I'm hungover but I'm getting there.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:50, Reply)

Hehehe so you're hungover fly?
That's the second best kind of fly... I'm the first... I'm SUPER FLY thank you! :D

Do you have hangover cures to assist you at work?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Just going to get some toast...
That'll fix me!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:58, Reply)

Deffo
Toast helps everything! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:07, Reply)

this is true
toast is awesome

I ran out of paté AND marmite this morning. Fucking lame.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:09, Reply)

Not so smug now, are we?
Also, I fucking LOVE pate. Mmmm.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:10, Reply)

I can recommend tesco's medium coarse ardennes paté
fucking lovely it was, for a cheap paté
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:19, Reply)

THEY HAD SAUSAGE!!
I now have sausage on toast.
Nommage.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:10, Reply)

Ooooooh sausages
Now I want sausages... I only have a Milkybar at my desk... its time to play Make-believe.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Haha
Milky Bar sausage on toast.
Do you have Nutella? That could be the braaahn sauce.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:15, Reply)

No Nutella
But I have Diet Coke?? Hmmmm... this isn't going to work is it!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:25, Reply)

if you imagine hard enough...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:29, Reply)

*scrunches eyes*
Mmmmmm...nut-el...oh no no no, its still Diet Coke... *cries*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:33, Reply)

NURSE!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Not in my pants, oh no.
I am in my Assassin's Garb, striding around Renaissance Italy, offing people and that.

In my pants.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Just try not to scale the outside of the house
and eagle dive into a strategically placed bale of hay.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:57, Reply)

He shoul strategically dive
into the Pie and Mash shop.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:58, Reply)

No he bloody shouldn't
not without meeeeeee!! *sulks*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:04, Reply)

He should do it shortly before you get home
and present you with a steaming pie on the table as you walk in the door.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Ah see
now you're talking! DiT are you getting this??

Its PIE O'CLOCK! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I read that as "steaming pile on the table"
but I'm sure we can count on him to do that anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:07, Reply)

That's how I read it too, and now it's going to take me *ages* to clean up.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:09, Reply)

You two and your demented brains
you immediately assumed Al was making a poo joke... dear oh dear... a poo joke on B3ta, I mean good grief.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:12, Reply)

not so funny now he's actually crapped on the table eh?
after what we'd been talking about earlier, some bastard had the nerve to give us a freaking fire drill.

Good job I had a large fresh cup of tea to keep me warm outside
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Aww bless you!
Like you say, at least you had coffee! :D

We only tend to get fire drills when its raining... we're also on the top floor of the bloody building so have to walk down through 10 floors to get out of the place! Boooo! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:24, Reply)

That show makes me feel like I've been drugged.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:41, Reply)

sounds like I need to watch it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:42, Reply)

my daughter LOVES it
I bought her an animatronic Iggle Piggle toy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:48, Reply)

Understandably so.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:56, Reply)

I remember when the Telly Tubbies first came out and we would all watch it the early morning while still off our tits.
Drugs and toddlers TV are a heady mix.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:59, Reply)

I have a video
of my favourite Tubby clips
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Haha!
My nephew is 9 and we still sing to him when he cleans his teeth.

Telly Tubby
Telly Tubby
Brush brush brush
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I hope Dipsy and Laa Laa ditched those other jerks...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:13, Reply)

I would clean more if I had a cleaner
My landlady offered to pay her cleaner to also clean my flat.
I actually refused because I knew it would stress me out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:48, Reply)

We have cleaners here
You can always tell when there is a new one because your cup gets washed and the bin gets emptied before its full. It only takes a few days before the other cleaners point out the error of their ways and they stop doing it.
( Peej, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:48, Reply)

I shook my keyboard upside down the other day
NEVER AGAIN, it is so minging, you could reanimate a small person from all the hair and dead skin in there...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:01, Reply)

Urgh
Yeah it's well wrong, innit?! I don't eat over my keyboard do where the shuddering anus do all the crumbs come from?!

I sometimes wipe big juicy nasal treasures under other peoples desks.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I'm ecstatic
I've learned some really important stuff today and I'm changing my ways forthwith. No longer for me, the pointless discussion of likes and dislikes, pet peeves, things that annoy me in my daily life etc - the stuff that binds and also divides us as human beings. The rich tapestry of experience and opinion. NO SIR!

I'm sticking strictly to the BIG STUFF - the issues that really matter in the world today.

THAT'S RIGHT. I think we all know what I'm talking about.

THE REDWAY. For those poor, ignorant fools still floundering around in ignorance, blind to the HOT TOPIC of the modern world, it's a sort of network of cycle paths through the whole of Milton Keynes and....wait for it.....some of the surrounding villages.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:41, Reply)