I'm in foul form.
Everyone I see today is a cunt. I can't decide if it's because I'm tired or because everyone I see is actually a cunt. The woman who sat opposite me on the train talking loudly into her phone in a cockney accent? Cunt. The guy on the bus who smells of febreeze and cigarette smoke? Cunt. The hundreds of people walking past me? Cunts, the lot of them.

Vent about annoying fuckers here. And I probably hate you too, by the way.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:29, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

takes one to know one
and by this I mean you're a cunt, everyone else is a cunt, and more than likely, I am too.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Yep.
What are you having for tea tonight you smug cunt?
(TheColonel, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:31, Reply)

I suspect it is going to be roast chicken thighs and legs*
with a sticky balsamic sauce, and spring onion mash.

*in one piece. is there a name for that? I'd say it is leg, but that tends to just mean the drumstick
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:32, Reply)

It's definitely 'leg'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Cunt

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Near there, but just to either side of it
Strangley 'chicken cunt' has failed to take off save in China, where they'll eat any old gash.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:03, Reply)

thanks
I got two legs, from some free-range, corn-fed, clearly well-built chickens, for a mere £1.75. Bargain
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Rubbish
they were brought up in the back room of the grocers eating used tampons.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:37, Reply)

that explains the jaundiced yellow look of them

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Actually this talk of food chills me out a bit.
Turns my anger into hunger.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Fuck off

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:35, Reply)

*waves*
Alright mrthegeordie?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Very well thanks.
How's the painting going?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:37, Reply)

i
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:39, Reply)

She does do that a lot

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:42, Reply)

It happens
What can I say
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:44, Reply)

You can say "uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-"
and then sing that song that goes "UNNNHHHHH UNNNNHHH UUUNNNNHH"
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Of course
or you could just sing it for me and I could play lead kazoo?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:49, Reply)

I like this plan a lot.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:02, Reply)

We could do a tour and everything!
Vipros could open for us... :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:07, Reply)

That would be so awesome!
We could do all the hits, and a few B-sides for the real fans.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Exactly
And throw in our version of Nothing Compares To You.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Good good thank you!
The painting is getting very boooor-ing now but we're nearly there. We're leaving the living room now until after this weekend, then we've just got to do the coving and a few 'touch ups'. I was mixing the bathroom colour last night... ooooooh PINK! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:42, Reply)

I shall look forward to seeing it soon.
I definitely won't bring any felt tips to draw cocks on the wall. Oh no. Not me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:44, Reply)

You won't need to
not after DiT drew that five foot tall one on the wall... and it took four layers of paint to hide it! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:47, Reply)

I find it cute when you try to be angry.
It makes me want to ruffle your hair patronisingly and go "aww".
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:40, Reply)

I'm not trying to be angry
I'm trying to get into the spirit of RAAAAAARRRRR! But I'm in a good mood, so it's a bit tricky.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:42, Reply)

I got a scathing e-mail from a lecturer for daring to e-mail asking when a talk was scheduled for
Apparently doing his job is something he feels he shouldn't have to do while at work.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:40, Reply)

I hope you told him he was a cunt

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:40, Reply)

Alas, no
But I'm considering getting the rest of the year to e-mail him asking when it is. It's not great revenge, but it would be something.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:42, Reply)

when I get emails from students that annoy me
I ignore them. More productive.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Fucking Students!
I'm looking forward to when Catface goes back to Uni and you can berate him for being a lazy student.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:46, Reply)

Hey, I'm not being altogether lazy
I'm sitting here thinking 'I need to write lots for Wednesday. I should probably get started on that soon.' I have Word open and everything*.


*For 'everything' see 'B3ta'.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:48, Reply)

If no-one knew the answer though?
It was a proper question, not just time wasting. I might have preferred to be ignored.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:46, Reply)

The roads are paved with cunts.
I drive a little red convertible these days. Three times already some fuckwit in an SUV has almost run over me because they were talking on a cell phone and couldn't see the fire red car driving down the road over the edge of their car door.

Cunts, the lot of them to a man. (Or woman.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:50, Reply)

It could also be
BECAUSE you drive a red sports car.

There's enough hatred geared up towards drivers of said vehicles already.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Were I driving it like Jason Statham, I could understand that.
But I drive it gently, don't weave through traffic, don't go screaming up to lights or any of the other things that underendowed wankers typically do in them. I bought it because it was cheap, gets 35 mpg (American gallons, not UK), has low miles on it and is nice on a warm day.

The Urban Assault Vehicles, on the other hand, tend to be driven by small blonde women with cell phones and nonfat decaf lattes and have stickers from private schools on the rear windows. They figure that if they're in a tank they can do as they like and their sprogs will always be safe.

Cunts, one and all.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:55, Reply)

Is this a bad time to ask if you're up for an affair?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:00, Reply)

The woman next to me who just got back from New York and is raving about the wrong things
like shops and aftershave.
Cunty woman does not deserve to have gone if that's all she can rave about.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:07, Reply)

Oooooh spooky
A lady at my work just came back from New York too - she went Xmas shopping and got loads of great stuff. She said it was amazing and all the decorations were very pretty! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:08, Reply)

I think this woman could talk about anything and make it sound shit.
I hate her mannerisms, her outlook on life, her general ignorance.
The way she boasts when really there's nothing to boast about.
I could go on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Does she always mix up the little signs
for the honey roast ham and the ham on the bone so you get them confused?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Actually, I bet she never wraps the Brie up properly so one end goes a bit dry and you have to cut it off before you can serve the next customer

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Fuck off Al you cunt
Everyone knows I'm on the bit with the olives and the caper berries
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:14, Reply)

I bet she sometimes thinks that the sun dried tomatoes with herbs and oil
are actually the peppers stuffed with feta. I fucking HATE people who do that.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Not as bad as the time she stole my tabard
Man, I hate tabard-thieves...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:19, Reply)

Fucking bitch!
I hope you shat in her handbag for that one.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:21, Reply)

No.
I told her Michael Bolton was dead. Muahahahah.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:23, Reply)

Nice!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:24, Reply)

The 'orrible bitch!
There's no need to ruin perfectly good Brie!

TO THE CHEESEMOBILE!

Dun nun nuh nun nuh nun nuh nuhhhhhh
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:15, Reply)

What does the cheesemobile look like?
There's a fab Accord on my road, with big spoilers and banners saying "Honda" in scripty font.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:16, Reply)

I have a work related question
there is a polish sausage called Kabanos. How is it prounounced? I'm a bit posh, so I always say Ka-Barn-Os, but I was wondering if it should be K-Ba-Nos
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:18, Reply)

I'd say kabbernoss
But knowing them Poles it's probably KAB-a-nosh
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:20, Reply)

It would look something like a wedge of
swiss cheese with brie or edam wheels... it would be ace! Much better than scripty font Honda man! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Does it have a siren?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:21, Reply)

No
its stealth cheese.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:26, Reply)

The interior must be blue stealth-ton then!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Hehehehehehehe
Exactly
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Aww that's no good
Do you sit quite close to her? Is this the woman that just keeps talking on and on and on until you answer her or acknowledge that she's talking to you?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:13, Reply)

The verrrrrry one.
The one whose son's ex has 'state-of-the-art' clothes.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Grrrrrrrr

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:27, Reply)