Anyone else spend 1 1/2 hours at kings cross waiting for a train this morning, only to be sneered at by old people who probably have more chilblains than red blood cells
who insist on telling you about how all this round here was fields in their day? YES, I REALLY FUCKING WANTED TO KNOW THAT. I REALLY REALLY DID.

The fact that I made it into college and my portfolio is now in (hopefully) safe hands almost makes up for the shit inefficiencies of public transport. I have to say it does look rather pretty round here though.

What's fucked you off today?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:17, 77 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I can't find a safe place to stash my Auschwitz sign.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

How about in the shower, or the oven
or the mass grave out in the woods
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Nail it to the front of White Hart Lane
*shames*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

Some insensitive bitch said I looked like the fat one from fall out boy.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

HA

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:06, Reply)

that bitch
you should slap her upside the head
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Hehehehe
I shall mock you with my merry laughter ha-ha-haaaaaa
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:34, Reply)

do you sound like you are in an Errol Flynn film in real life?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Nah, she's a turkish kebab shop worker.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:36, Reply)

"would you like cheellee sos on your nosex evening?"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:37, Reply)

That too!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Noooo
That was supposed to be read in a Bill Bailey voice... rubbish.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:43, Reply)

The weather bitches
Our forecast of snow around here has changed to just saying it's going to rain a lot and be foggy. Not amused. I WANT SNOW.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Agreed.
Already blown up the inflatable toboggan.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:27, Reply)

I just got my new camera
And want to go out and take pretty shots of the snowy forest. Booo.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:30, Reply)

I had to get up and go to work
always fucks me off that does
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Whats fucked me off?
The Southern nancies complaining about the snow while I'm stuck up North with no snow whatsoever :0(
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Everything I eat turns to shit.
And a little too quickly at that.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Got the scutters?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:29, Reply)

mmm
renting food by the hour is never nice
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:38, Reply)

Boiled water and a Marie biscuit if you're hungry.
(Do they still make Marie biscuits?)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Bananas and sports drinks.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:43, Reply)

white toast and banana
and pints of barley water so far. Might progress to a boiled egg later.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:59, Reply)

Stick it up your bum to stop the leakage

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:01, Reply)

good call.
I will heed your medical advice as you are on the Internet. I reckon you know your shit.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:09, Reply)

Yeah but he prefers his shit alfresco

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:09, Reply)

Last time I had the al fresco skitters
I shat in a marmot burrow. I like to think I was doing my bit to eradicate bubonic plague.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:11, Reply)

Ha!
I randomly said 'marmot' this morning.
From faraway 'Marriot' hotel signs look like they say 'Marmot'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:14, Reply)

I just imagined a pooh-covered marmot singing...
...'I saw the hole of the moon'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:15, Reply)

"I was grounded...
my house filled with shiiiiiite"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:17, Reply)

"I saw the rain dirty valley..."

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:33, Reply)

If only it had been that melodic.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:40, Reply)

I read that in the style of 80s pop hit Midas Touch

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:09, Reply)

10/10 for surreal observation.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:17, Reply)

Nothing so far.
It's Friday, I leave work at 3:30 to go to the pub and then I'm on 2 weeks leave. What's not to like (apart from the heavily bandaged finger making it look as if I'm constantly trigger-fingering everyone)?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Grr!

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:38, Reply)

*trigger fingers*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:41, Reply)

Made up you got that portfolio off your hands!
Nothing's fucked me off yet today.
I feel it's imminent though...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Everything and everyone, especially my boss.

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:38, Reply)

Hold on, isn't it a family business?
Which relative do you currently despise?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:41, Reply)

Surely not your large breasted sister?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:43, Reply)

You'll get bored eventually.

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Of breasts?
Dear lady - you underestimate my childishness.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:51, Reply)

My step-dad.
He's being an arse again.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Woah
Your steps and your bloods work together?
That's some family harmony going on.
But punch him anyway for being an arse.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:57, Reply)

My forearms really hurt when I do pull ups
I think I may have strained something.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:46, Reply)

do pull ups wank
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:48, Reply)

I saw this film once with these puppets, they were telling a story about this dude who was really mean.
He gets visited by three ghosts at night, the first one shows him his past, where he's missed out because he's so mean. The next ghost shows him what's happenin' then, and he's missed out because he's mean. Then this last one, right, shows him his grave and how indifferent people are that he's dead. But he isn't dead, it's just a vision, and he wakes up in time for christmas and changes the way he is.

There is this well good bit where they did this song that's well catchy, "Here comes mister humbug, here comes mister grim, if they gave a prize for being mean, the winner would be him.".

Oh man, you've got to see this, I think it's out on tape if you want to rent it from Blockbusters... but if you want to watch it a few times, might be cheaper to get the tape from woolies.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:50, Reply)

I saw this film where Jean-Luc Picard
was really grumpy and then he hallucinated this man with money boxes tied to his leg. Then he woke up on christmas day and told Riker to get the biggest turkey he could and they took it round to Withnails house and he called them both terrible cunts so they covered each other in deep heat to keep warm.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:52, Reply)

Seriously, you should have came on wensday, the guy actually opened with Wonderwall.
Everyone thought I requested it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:53, Reply)

I asked De'gee if he could teach this song to me, and he took me seriously =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:54, Reply)

Does he know Time of Your Life by Green Day too?
If he does I might invite him round to my house.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:57, Reply)

Please note
My services are always available if you want to learn these wonderful songs.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Are you sure it wasn't a dream?

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:53, Reply)

House Calls
Freezing my backside off and skidding the car into a kerb (missing another car by mere inches) to go see a childs sniffles. Grrr.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:57, Reply)

180 phone calls
50 jobs done
45 minute wait
30 pissed off people
7 drivers off
6 missed long jobs
Fiiiiiiive busy musliiiiims
4 cups of tea
3 missed airport runs
2 ringing phones
and a Noely in a pear tree
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:10, Reply)

HAHA NOTHING BECAUSE I HAVE A NEW WARM SNUGGLY COAT HAHA
not even the threat of 12 motherfucking inches of snow has gotten me down

fear my happiness bitches
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:24, Reply)

DAMN YOU ALL WITH YOUR SNOW!
It's just sunny here, dammit.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:25, Reply)

DAMN YOU WITH ALL OF YOUR SUN
I want sun.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:28, Reply)

We've got snow AND sun
Woo etc.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Damn you more then
And you can take the damn sun Kristine. Take it away.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:30, Reply)

I say snow
It's actually a light dusting reminiscent of Monty's carpet after an all nighter, but it's snow nonetheless.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:32, Reply)

I wouldn't mind this
not at all
but 12 GOD FORSAKEN INCHES?!
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Lots of people would be happy with 12 inches

(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:38, Reply)

If I want to stab myself in the vagina I'll use a knife

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:54, Reply)

...insert penis joke here...
^
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:38, Reply)

hur hur
you said insert penis
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Happy Birthday!
Did you have a nice day?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Yes, thanks
apart from the surgery.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Just started snowing here...
OMGOMGOMG!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 13:37, Reply)