Maddie
Joking aside, the recent accusations from the Portuguese police have once again put this back onto the front pages. Personally this is the story i have always believed, tthat they were doctors who were in the habit of giving the kids 'a little something' to help them sleep, while they fucked off for tapas and booze. Unfortunately on this occasion they got it wrong, and in a guilt induced panic, disposed of the child. Being a parent myself, the whole idea of leaving my kids, aged only 2 and 4, in an unlocked room, which was out of my line of sight, while i went and got pished, really doesn't sit well with me.

The police force in Portugal would not just bump their gums for the sake of it and spout any old shit, they obviously have good reason to think what they do. That and the fact the mother has always looked guilty, of something, and that on discovering she was not in the room was heard to let out an alibi laced cry of, 'They've taken her, they've taken her', despite the fact Maddie could have woken up from her barbiturate fug and wandered off.

Yes, I know this is all conjecture, but I doubt if the truth will ever come to light. Therefore, what do you think might have happened?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 9:49, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I can't quite put my finger on why it is,
but this is far and away the funniest application of the Sid James meme to date.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I concur, wholeheartedly.
The bar has been set, and unlikely to be bettered
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I haven't got a clue
I had kind of suspected what you describe above, but it'd take some serious fucking cojones to then go on the world tour and meet the pope in the name of finding her.

if they did kill her, by accident or whatever, then they have followed through their plan with an admirable level of commitment.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 9:52, Reply)

A very good point, although
I also noticed in the news another story about a fantasist, not unlike our old friend "Ed", who tricked a woman into believing he was an SAS veteran and just kept up the pretence for years on end because he'd dug himself in too deep by that point.

Now this is purely speculative, but I can imagine the alcohol-clouded thinking that might lead a couple to come back and find their daughter in the throes of rigor mortis and deciding, "Oh juddery fuck we must have OD'ed her...I know, we'll say someone kidnapped her."

Then, obviously it does require them to end up in a position like Ed or this other guy, but then it would be in their interests to keep up the pretence for fear of the world finding out that it was all a sham.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I reckon they wanted to keep it quiet
but the press blew it out of proportion.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:36, Reply)

they are
as guilty as hell of something, at the very least gross negligence of leaving minors alone but wouldn't be surprised if she died by accident and they decided to put their careers ahead of the law
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 9:53, Reply)

If they had killed her then no way would they have kicked up such a fuss about finding her.
They would have slowly let the whole episode disappear from the public domain and get on with their lives.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 9:59, Reply)

you are assuming that they aren't mad bastards
if they had killed her, or been in the habit of giving their kids a little something to keep them quiet while they nip out for dinner then they can't exactly be considered to be particularly sane
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I don't dispute that they were wrong in dosing up and leaving the kids, if that's what happened.
I very much doubt they killed her is all. If they disposed of the body in what amounted to a short space of time, then I think it would have been found by now.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:05, Reply)

that is a good point
they won't have had a lot of time to dump or bury a body, can't have gone far or spent much time away before raising the alarm.

fuck knows what did happen though. we'll never know, and it's pretty fucking unlikely that she'll turn up
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:07, Reply)

They ate the corpse.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:23, Reply)

After a meal out and booze.
I can't even manage toast let alone a small child.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:24, Reply)

It was only tapas, don't forget
They were probably fucking starving.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:29, Reply)

they were probably on PCP

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:31, Reply)

She does look
permanently hungry
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:36, Reply)

hungry FOR COCK.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:37, Reply)

*guffaw*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I don't think that's right at all.
If they had done it, they might well think that making a big hoo-ha about still looking for her would be the best cover ever.

If you assume that in most cases the parents haven't done it, and don't make the fuss that these two have made, then you can state that their behaviour is abnormal for parents of abductees.

Perhaps it's abnormal for a reason.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:08, Reply)

If they were 'abnormal parents' then it would have been noticed by other people before this happened.

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I'm not suggesting a Fred West-style set up
(actually, yes I am, how about it? You and me?)

I think the accidental overdose theory is potentially valid, and that the abnormal behaviour may have been a panic stricken reaction to having accidentally offed their kid.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I concur. See my wild speculation above.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Aren't they Catholics?
The guilt would definitely have got to the wife by now.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Well, as Cancer said, she has always looked "guilty of something," whatever that might be,
Perhaps she's so doo-lally by now she's convinced herself that her daughter was abducted*.

*_{NB: This response may contain potentially dangerous levels of speculation, or have been made in a factory where speculation is present.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Guilty of being a filthy bitch, I reckon
*cracks one off over the news*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:30, Reply)

there is something about her that just screams
"I want you to slip me a length"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:31, Reply)

The more scurrilous newspapers
ran with the story that her and her hubby were active swingers, and she enjoyed nothing more than getting 'airtight' of an evening.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:40, Reply)

they certainly look the type
wouldn't want your kids waking up and coming downstairs to find your neighbours balls deep in their mother's dirtbox, hence the practice of slipping them a bit of a sleep aid
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

then maybe upgrading what they get slipped to something a little more profitable

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I think we're on to something here
normally I'd take this stuff to the Mail, but they are firmly in the McCann's camp...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:49, Reply)

McCann's camp?
No wonder his wife's GAGGING FOR IT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

She takes special pills that negate her gag reflex
That's why she has a wonky mouth, her facial muscles have been pounded to fuck.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Firmly buried deep in McCann's camp.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I bet she's a right goer, the guilty bitch.
On balance, it wasn't just the Portuguese "wot thought they dunnit." My uncle lived in Leicestershire at the time, and it apparently got round that nobody back home in Rothley trusted them either...*

*_{Edit: This response may contain traces of malicious rumour, or have been concocted in a factory where malicious rumour is present.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Every time they are mentioned it just reminds me of the guilty foster parents from monkey dust.

(TheColonel, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Whether they were involved or not
I think it's ridiculous that they have escaped mass criticism from all corners of the press and public for leaving a young child (am I right in thinking their other kids were there too?) asleep in their room in a foreign country. Before I left for uni I'd look after my cousin who's six two or three days a week. I'd follow him wherever he went, partly because it wound him up and was quite fun. He's ace is Will, although the arse got me into trouble on Christmas Day after I forgot he was sitting in the corner of my room playing Goldeneye silently. Whilst I blasted out the Rage song because it was, afterall, number one. His recital of the line "fuck you, I won't do what you tell me" all day went down a storm I can tell you. But mostly I don't let him out my sight because he was six back in the summer, he needs constant supervision. I couldn't fathom leaving him in the house on his own for ten minutes, let alone go out for a meal or drink. The McCanns took the piss in that respect. In bloody Portugal!
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I did it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:05, Reply)

for fuck's sake, I know it's been 3 years
but it's still not right to refer to her as 'it'
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Pffft!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:18, Reply)

She's probably under the bed

(TheColonel, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:08, Reply)

As a mother I am shocked.

( Peej, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:11, Reply)

As someone so obviously tinfoil-hat insane gets to keep their children?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I've got a tenner on her popping up on Celebrity Big Brother.
She'd be the most famous one in there.
(TheColonel, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:13, Reply)

In ANY hotel.
I wouldn't even leave my wallet unattended in my room, let alone my kids.
I never trust anyone in or around hotels, there's people coming and going all the time.
Thieves and ne'er do wells gravitate towards places like this.
How do you know who's staying there or who's not or what the staff are like?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Exactly. They're usually staffed by IMMIGRANTS, as well.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:18, Reply)

"It was a darkie wot did it" - Kate McCann

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:27, Reply)

And we do seem to be missing the point here
that Maddie was an ANGELIC ENGLISH GIRL.

Whilst them Porchugeez P'leese ARE FORRIN. I wouldn't trust 'em.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:30, Reply)

'Nig Nogs in frame for Tragic Maddie Snatch'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Did someone mention Maddie's Snatch?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Nig nog, Maddie shock, give big Kate boning

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 13:04, Reply)

This deserves recognition

(TheColonel, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Why, thank you Sir


*bows deeply*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Apparently the mother went to my school
So therefore they are completely innocent, and I shall be wearing a supporting wristband and holding a minute's silence every hour until she is 'found'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:59, Reply)

eating tapas and participating in orgies as well i expect

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:05, Reply)

You know of my school?
*sad face for it is all true*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Murderesses = Hot.
She's such a dirty bad girl.

Beep-beep.

Yeah.

Toot-toot.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I see what you did there
and I approve. Toot toot beep beep indeed.
(MyFakeName, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I was just invited to join a facebook cause, with the line
"They can change her clothes and hair but they can't change her eyes."

They can.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Yeah they can.
Tom Cruise did it in Minority Report. Wonder if maddie drank the off milk?
( rgordon00, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 0:12, Reply)