fucks sake fucks sake fucks sake
2010 is really turning into one monumental fucking pile of wank, my best friends baby spent 3 weeks on life support after almost dying in the womb another very good friend and I are no longer speaking, a third friends father just dropped dead suddenly, haven't had a decent nights sleep yet this year, i'm tired, hungover, feel gritty from washing in a sink because my boiler has broken and remarkably the warrenty for it expired in a new build property before I even fucking moved in GAAAH! totally, utterly royally fucked off with life in general at the moment

Oh and work sucks horribly as well

Spleen venting over, cue usual mtfu blah
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:14, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

On the plus side
It's Thursday, and Thursday is the new Friday! And because you've had a 'mare recently, I'll not pull you up on the 'cue' aspect of your post. Hope this helps!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:29, Reply)

My dear fellow!
How goes it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:37, Reply)

Morning Guv!
It goes well, thank you for enquiring. It's basically the weekend, too, so double bonus points!

How be your bad self?
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:49, Reply)

I am 'funky fresh'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:11, Reply)

I admire your positivity

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Well
How is the baby now? Is it going to be ok?

Why are you and your mate not speaking? Can it be fixed? Do you want it fixed?

Sorry about your mate's dad. That just sucks and can't be fixed.

Sorry about your hangover. Most ways of avoiding these are boring.

You feel gritty because you ARE gritty. Ask someone can you use their shower tonight.

Is the boiler definitely broken? What's the problem? Can you afford the boiler fix?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Fuck me you're in efficiency mode this morning, arncha?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:38, Reply)

Fucking right I am!!!
Get on with your work you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Yes Miss. Sorry Miss.
In all truth I do have another day actually working for a living today so I'd better toddle off. It's a fucking outrage, that's what it is.

I am also feeling groggy and ill, through no fault of my own.

Transmission ends.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Oh my God, Monty's floated off into space!
I should do lots of work today too...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:49, Reply)

weeeellll
don't know, possibly brain damaged, will find out more tonight

Long story that i'm not going in to, don't know, very much hope so

yeah was a total shock

only went out for a pint!

begging next door for use of shower later

very broken, keeps erroring when the hot water is turned on, not really!

Liiiiiine breaks
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:39, Reply)

Shut up about line breaks.
The only thing you've got control over is the situation with your mate. And the boiler, to an extent, but that needs dosh.

Death and sickness are horrible, but get used to shit like that because they tend to happen. Just be there for your mates. I hope the baba is ok.

Just pamper your hangover as much as you can and today will seem a bit better tonight. If next door don't oblige with the shower, travel to a mate's house for one. You fucking reek, you do.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Yeah I know
just it all gets a bit much sometimes, just needed to flip top and fume somewhere and fed up of taking it all out on my friends
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Feel any better for venting?
Anyway shut up, the starving children in Africa sould kill for a broken boiler.
Or something like that...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:51, Reply)

aha
sorta
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Good
*offers some Monster Munch*
Reject these at your peril.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:54, Reply)

what is Monster Munch roota?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Where the fuck have you been!?
They're maize snacks
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Australia...
y'know...
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:17, Reply)

pickled onion?

(Halfy By light alone, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:09, Reply)

No, beef.
Eat!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Can I take this opportunity to say
that Space Raiders are infinitely better than Monster Munch?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:21, Reply)

They're lovely
but they're not old-school Munch.
New Munch - yes, I'll give you that, but old Munch piss on them all and turn them into mulch.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Well,
Old Munch would have bullied Space Raiders, taken their dinner money and shagged their sister. They were peerless. However, the daddy of this genre simply had to be Outer Spacers, with their space-station, hamburger goodness. Gone, but not forgotten.


*salutes*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Remember Krispi Beefies???

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:29, Reply)

You've got me there, I don't.
However, a crisp snack that no-one seems to remember are Styx. Came in cheese&onion, s&v and my favourite, prawn cocktail. Long thin bag, PACKED with long thin crisps...a bit like chipsticks but with an irregular bent shape, and about 1/4 the thickness.

I would choke someone to the brink of passing out, for a packet of these.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:34, Reply)

I remember those
may well have been a Glasgow "fad" though, if only you and I remember them
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:56, Reply)

<BOOM>

(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:20, Reply)

<<<<<<<<<aaaand the other way

(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:19, Reply)

walkin' it back home

(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:19, Reply)

<playin' the chevron game out of inain conversation

(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Both wrong
Frazzles
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I don't like them
But Al shoves them in my back pocket at parties
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:24, Reply)

When I have The Rage,
I get a cheap hooker and kick the living shit out of it. Ahhh, sweet release.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:52, Reply)

What about the mess afterwards?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 8:52, Reply)

I think a small quantity of ejaculate is acceptable, don't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Stop making me laugh and do your fucking work

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Sorry mate.
I am actually off to do some work now. Bye.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Post-cum
is a blight against humanity
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I have Staff to assist with the mopping up.

(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Roota, are you feeling OK?
There is an unusually efficient nature about you this morning. Is this the result of a good nights sleep, or just too much coffee?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:01, Reply)

I dunno luv
I think the aliens have abducted the real me.
I just wanna TCB yes y'all.
How's you?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Splendid thanks
only downer is my B3ta day is saturday, and the usual crowd will be thinner on the ground.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Diddums
I'm always up early on a Saturday.
I'll jump out of a cake for you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:35, Reply)

*swoons*
I'll see if anything is happening here when I get back from the laundrette about 9:15.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:37, Reply)

She's very accomodating is our Roota.

( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Under the circumstances
I am not rising to that pun.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Meh!

( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Oh stop being 'meh'
or I'll batter you.
Again.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Woo!
*assumes the position*
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:27, Reply)

*bashup*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:30, Reply)

It maybe chewie, but is it a harvest chewie?
GgggggggWAAAAAAAa.

No, it's chewbacka's chewie.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:26, Reply)

WHO LOVES ORANGE SODA!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:30, Reply)

KEL LOVES ORANGE SODA!!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:34, Reply)

IS IT TRUE?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:35, Reply)

MMMMMMM-HMMMMMMMMM
I do I do I doooo!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:37, Reply)

I sat in the Audi garage
for an HOUR AND A HALF before they told me the alloy they had ordered in is different to the ones I have on. So I had a bit of a cry in the carpark of Carpet Right then saw a new set of brand new wheels and tyres on tinternet that I think are the ones I already have on for 600 squid.

Then I drank some cider and watched American Idol whilst eating a creme egg. Evening well spent I think you'll agree
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Has anyone else invented Creme Egg and soldiers?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Creme eggs are too sickly for me.
What do you use for soldiers?
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:38, Reply)

cadburys fingers

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:38, Reply)

You just did.
Maybe use a Bourbon?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:39, Reply)

As aesthetically plaeasing as bourbons would be,
they don't fit.
Fingers it is.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Enjoy thine Creme Egge whilst ye can!
For soone cometh the time when the original Cadburie's Stocke shalt run drye, and a foul pestilence from foreigne lands shalt clutch our faire chocolate maker's bodie in its talonnes. Kraft shall be the name of the bringer of the ende to the chocolate of this sceptred isle, and 'pon its shouldere shall ride the foule goblinne known to mortals as Hershey. Yea, and Hershey shalt wreake an pox upon our fyne chocolate by making it taste like the chocolate of the Ewe Ess of Ae, known in common parlance as Shitte.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Those 'merkins wont change our creme eggs
It would start a war, and our special relationship would collapse.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:09, Reply)

In other news I am getting used to having my hair in my face again.
A few more months and I can start headbanging again.
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Can I interest you in membership of the League of Flappy Hair?
It's totally worth it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:00, Reply)

What are the perks of the membership?

( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Mainly
that you get to be a member of one of B3ta's most exclusive clubs.

We have rallies, away-days, that kind of thing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:03, Reply)

It's a bit like a Seal of Quality,
something to show that your hair, in its flappitude, is of a certain finesse and awesomeness.

Plus further association with Monty, Flim-Flam and my good self.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Sounds good to me.
Is there a badge?
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I started making one...
...but my Gimp crashed and then I got a bit bored. I should probably finish it at some point. That was a few months ago, come to think of it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I have no hair
Can I still join or do you discriminate against baldies?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Sorry old boy, no can do.
Rules are, after all, rules.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:18, Reply)

FUCK YOU!
I'll start my own B3TA Baldies Band and you can fuck right off!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:25, Reply)

yeah cos your boiler not working and having a hangover are just as bad as someone dying
Also, baby recovering from illness sounds like a good thing not a bad thing.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:13, Reply)

True that.
A tiff with a friend and a knackered boiler does not a bad year make.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Ooo look who's back.
Scropey wants to play.
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Perhaps he gets really bad hangovers?
that last for 2 days and completely wipe out his weekend
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:19, Reply)

its a combination
drip drip drip of small shit niggles alongside the big fuck off sudden shit things that really got to me
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I read the subject line of this thread
in the style of 'Tiger Feet' by Mud.


God I love that song.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:58, Reply)