My back pain has put me in hospital
with suspected kidney stones. Moar painkillers nurse!

Share your pain. Make it sound like you're suffering more than me.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:41, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's a bit balmy in the office,
it's quite uncomfortable.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Balmy means 'mild, soothing and pleasant'
Why does this make you feel uncomfortable?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:45, Reply)

It's the background abuse from his co-workers

( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:47, Reply)

He'll be bitching about it to his coven of female friends
over a couple Pinot Grigios down Old Compton Street later, no doubt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:48, Reply)

"They're just sooooo mean"

( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Oh no they di-nt

Oh yeah they did
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

'and you should have SEEN her bag!
It didn't match her shoes AT ALL!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

'she has so let herself go...

I mean the MK New Look has shut down, but they still have Next
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

and Primarni, don't forget Primarni

( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Ha ha I'm guilty of such outpourings of scorn,
being the sartorial master that I am I feel it's my duty.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I meant full of mentals.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:54, Reply)

That's 'barmy'
Don't they teach you anything in psychology degrees these days?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I learnt quite a lot about drug addiction and destructive relationships,
not so much on the language side though.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Got any tips?
I could use a couple of pointers...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Consolidate all your debts into one monthly payment, quit uni and get a job.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:08, Reply)

It's never actually happened to me
But I imagine a paper cut accross the old banjo string would be the most painful thing in the world, ever.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Bee sting
Actually, a wasp sting......on my bobbys helmet.

That.fuckin.hurt.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Jelly fish, balls
i had to get a dog to lick it better, what, that works
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Vinegar works too.
And urine. You don't often get to justify your entry to the world of water-sports in a more unusual manner.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:58, Reply)

My Dad was always working in the factory when I grew up
he would come home late, drink a sixer of bud and pass out in front of the TV. I remeber waiting up for him clutching one of my paintings to show him, truth be told he wasn't one for art, later I found all the paintings I'd given him stuffed in a draw in his shed.

We never got to know each other really and drifted further and further apart, then when I told him I was gay he swore never to speak to me a again, I still paint pictures for him, but My Chemical Romance are my only companions now... *weeps* *cuts*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Oh NakedApe
I feel your pain. I sometimes feel like noone understands me. When i feel feel like this I lock myself in my room, write inspirational poetry and listen to 'when September ends' as its the only song that suits my mood.

*cuts*
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Wake me up when Spetember ends
What are you a fucking reverse hibernating bear's cunt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:54, Reply)

It suited the mood!!!
God, I hate you! YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!

*stomps*
*cuts*
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Poor AA
Hahahahaha.
( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:01, Reply)

He deserves everything he gets
for posting suck drivel in the public domain in the first place.

It's been nearly 6 years since that little episode, and nearly 2 years of my constant reminders.

Sometimes I wonder why he tolerates me.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I was quite hoping that no-one would make the connection
Ah well, I don't mind.

I've got a date tomorrow, so I'm quite looking forward to that!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Is he handsome?
is it possible for me to fuck it up for you?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:51, Reply)

She's lovely
And currently it's no, as she actually quite likes me too.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Damn it!
Bring it out on Friday and I'll do my best to ruin any fledgling relationship for you xoxox
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Nope!
Although I'm not entirely sure what she's doing this friday, I'm pretty sure she's not coming out in Macc.

I am seeing her at my pub quiz next week though!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Way to steal the spotlight there.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Once they're out in the open
you have to make a necklace out of them and get catface to wear it. Say it's something you created yourself, in all senses, and he should be proud to wear it as a symbol of your love.
( djtrialprice, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Oh man, they suspected that I've had that, it turned out to be something else, but if you're feelin' anythin' like what I was, it fuckin' hurts really really badly.
I hope you get lots of IV Morphine (or whatever is strongest for you in your condition) and better soon.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Sucks, yeah
So far I've been given paracetamol, codeine and a cheese and tomato sandwich but I'm hoping for the next grade of pregnancy meds later. And maybe a cup of tea.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:03, Reply)

I was begging for them to give me something to knock me out, even ripped my shirt as I was biting down and pulling on it.
You're not really 'allowed' them in hospitals, but if you can get your hands on a hot water bottle with hot water, that might help you out a bit.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I can feel your collective pain from here.
Especially when I pee.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Don't they just blast the fuckers with ultrasound nowadays?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Oh my goodness
You've had those all that time and you just thought your back was playing up?
You are nails, girl.
Get well soon.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:10, Reply)

She just doesn't know her arse from her elbow.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I have
a torn muscle in my back, and badly bruised ribs.

I can't bend any more than ten degrees back or forward without pain, and can't sneeze or cough either - which is deadly since I have the cold.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Chest raped again?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:38, Reply)

not this time
failed in the granny throwing contest
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I periodically suffer from a bad back
Every single time I am suffering, I simultaneously get a cold and keep sneezing. If I were a religious man I would be convinced someone up there hates me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:45, Reply)

I got bitten by a cat last night.
My son thought it would be fun to bring his cat to my house so I could se the cute ickle kittums. Unfortunately the cat smelled the other cats in my house and threw a wobble, so we tried to put him back into the carrier to take him back. As we did so he latched onto my right hand with a bite that (I think) nicked the tendon on the ring finger of that hand.

We washed it out with hydrogen peroxide and I put neosporin ointment on it, but it's swollen to a strut this morning and I can barely move that finger.

And I have no health insurance, am broke and can't afford a doctor.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:02, Reply)

USA Fail

(TheColonel, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Do something about it NOW
My sisters cat bit my dad and he was on antibiotic injections for a week and it once bit her so badly she was in hospital for 10 days. She had iv antibiotics but they couldn't get them into her fast enough so it was connected to a pump that forced them into her bloodstream extra fast.

Cat bites can be really bad, especially when they're deep.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 21:51, Reply)

I get recurring pain in a couple of places
.............
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:11, Reply)

..................

(TheColonel, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:16, Reply)

My chest cramps are becoming more frequent alarmingly fast
worst case scenario: pulmonary embollism from all the rollups. need to go to the doctor but too scared.

haven't got laid in nearly a year, failed to move out of the parents' house last month as was planned, no prospects to do so soon, haven't worked full-time since April '06, getting fucking fat, all my friends have moved far away from this town apart from one who is getting married to an ultra-christian bitch who hates my guts, my overdraft's rapidly being guzzled up and my boots are literally down at heel. I remember being 21 and feeling like this. Now I'm 31 and wondering if it's going to be the same when I'm fucking 41, just I'll be more unhealthy.

On the plus side, I don't have kidney stones. That's quite a big plus in my book.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Eeek!
Get well soon!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 17:51, Reply)