Two proper cranks on BBC Breakfast singing lullabies
I honestly think there's some Guy Goma going on here...

Anyway, it got me thinking about one my great grandma used to sing to me and I found a clip of it on tinternet and I'm all happy now.

Happy Monday?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 8:53, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Not really.
Just came in and sat down as the idiot across from me just described a place she had been to yesterday as a, 'city in the countryside'.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:00, Reply)

There is a castle on a cloud
Pity her.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:01, Reply)

where did she go?
some kind of elf land?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Sounds like Milton Keynes.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:44, Reply)

there are a lot of vampires there

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)

They're not real vampires, they're just goths.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Not as happy as yesterday

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Did you get bummed?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:02, Reply)

I didn't no.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Mrs Al got very bummed?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:06, Reply)

No, she didn't

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:11, Reply)

I don't understand
You said yesterday was happy, but it appears that there was no bumming.
Does not compute.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Yesterday I didn't have to go into Central London
Mrs Al made me a fried breakfast, I made her steak for dinner. We watched Up The Air and I played some Wii. It was a very nice relaxing calm day and now I'm in work alone so I'm not as happy as I was yesterday.

On the other hand, we started making our Wedding List on Saturday which was fun and only resulted in two small arguments. And I tried on a morning suit which was also fun.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:16, Reply)

That does indeed sound like a Good Day.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:17, Reply)

This
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy4FXhkm6Nw
is freaking awesome.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:19, Reply)

*gets down with bad self*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Not the best
Had a bit of a boring weekend, I can't go far, so trips to the local are out of the question.

Although I did have one young lady cheering me up, which was nice!

EDIT: And one dirty cougar kept me amused!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Did she give you a nosh to make up for breaking your foot?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Nah
Am taking it slowly with her, it's nice to. (I've never done it before!)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Awww bless, your first time can be a bit daunting, but don't worry, if she's a nice girl she'll pretend it was really good even though it wasn't

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:12, Reply)

I mean taking it slowly, grr

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:57, Reply)

No you don't

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)

The Florence Nightingale Effect
Can't beat it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:05, Reply)

It's national flirting week.
Which is something I happen to be good at..................on-line.


*waggles eyebrows*
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Get in!
Wanna cyber?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Do I?
It's been a while. I may be a little rusty.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Me too
I need to be more descriptive but I'm good at pissing into shoes on webcam.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Haha!
Not really my cup of tea.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

It's not tea, Blousie...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Ha!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Tell me you're touching your nipples.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:22, Reply)

I'm touching a potato masher

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Mmmmmmm
Tell me about your fish slice.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:31, Reply)

It really mings

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Yeah it does
tell me how you need to clean it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:32, Reply)

With one of them handled scrubbing brushes from Poundland

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I'm so hard right now
I'm scared it might burst. Have you got a hoover?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Yeah
It's actually a Hoover as well
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:36, Reply)

urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
What's your favourite attachment?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Stubborn pet-hair

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:39, Reply)

OMG
I just jizzed all over my monitor. I'll have to wipe that up before the cleaner comes in later.

Same time tomorrow?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Yeah
I'll bring the Dirt Devil
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)

man, this is HOT!
sure glad I'm not at work
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Seriously
that's the best cyber sex I have ever had.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Althought come to think of it
that's the only cyber sex I've ever had.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I have had better
But at least I didn't piss into shoes on webcam
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Snd me ur nmbr

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I've been here less than 20 mins and someone has fucked up my day

Sometimes I wonder why I bother...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Violence is the only answer

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Or bumming
or violent bumming if you're feeling really cross.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:21, Reply)

awesome monday!
it's half term, it's sunny and I just gave my mobile number to a potential online wierdo!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Oh gal, here start your woes...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I never give my number to a potential on-line wierdo.
I always make sure they're definitley a 100% weirdo first.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:34, Reply)

You've got to meet them and their wife first.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)

The wierdos I attract don't have wives or girlfriends or parents or very much physical contact with anyone really.

( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Prepare for cock pictures

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)

It'll be longarm torso shot first

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:36, Reply)

If you're very lucky that will include a bit of cock too.
If you're unlucky he might look like the wolfman.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I like cocks

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:44, Reply)

We all like cocks round here.
Especially if they are being used for bumming.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I like breasts.

( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I like your breasts.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)

It's cyber day on OT!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Are you breast based or cock based?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)

is that the new a/s/l?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Thanks for the number
i'll be round in a minute, i'm trying to decide which costume to wear; clown or gimp?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:41, Reply)

can you mix it up
and make a clown-gimp?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Hmmm, dare I mix the streams?
I would test it out at the local primary school playground, but it's half term. Looks like i'll be bursting into the old folks home again.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:47, Reply)

there must be a half term
playscheme or something on
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:51, Reply)

There's only one way to find out...
now do I wear the strapon or go o-natural?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)

paint it
purple
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:36, Reply)

My Monday will be happy
Depending on what happens tonight. Right now though I'm back off to bed until seven or so because I haven't slept in a while.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Hola dude

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Not too bad ta.
The good and bad happened last week.

The good - getting the job I interviewed for 6 months after applying (they didn't really have someone else pull out at the last minute, did they?)

The bad - not getting a poetry thing I wanted which would have involved getting to know a very well known poet.

And the ugly? My eyes seem to be permanently sore at the moment.

And I'm off to Ikea today.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:53, Reply)

surely the really bad bit is IKEA
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTJEtMSuMqg
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Yes and no...
I love Ikea although the restaurant is crap.

And I rarely seem to leave without having spent over £100 on useless crap and several large boxes which contain allen key hell.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Funnily enough
I like the restaurant but find the shop highly unpleasant. Although once when I was on my own I tried to superman my trolley down one of the warehouse aisles and it tipped up and I only just managed to stay upright. I enjoyed that.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:01, Reply)

But the coffee cups are too small and meatballs are crap, as are skinny chips.

And the cakes are no good.

And what's Lingonberry all about? I have a horrible feeling it's got essence of lingam in it.

Lingam? Google it, but avoid looking at images when you do the initial search if you're at work.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

silence!
the meatballs are awesome, as are skinny chips in their place.

That place is either with meatballs or with mussels.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Oh, don't forget to play house in the Ikea set-ups!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I always imagine myself living in them
always.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I got thrown out of IKEA in Castleford (or somewhere equally ghastly)
For sitting on a toilet in their bathroom section. I just sat on it, I didn't pull my trousers down, nor did I make pooing type noises.

They said I was behaving inappropriately.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:17, Reply)

You were meant to shit
that's what was inappropriate.

Did the police arrest you for your bummings at the weekend yet?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:18, Reply)

The Wanstead Bummer is still At Large.
And they'll never take me alive!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:24, Reply)

At
alive up the arse
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I leave for half an hour and it descends into shit

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:28, Reply)

When we pulled our cocks out of your bum
you shat everywhere.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:30, Reply)

I warned you to use the handled scrubbing brush first...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Good morning
Been alright so far. Went and picked up my parcel from the sorting office, and eBay have just emailed me offering "two days of no insertion fees." Which made me giggle like the grown-up individual that I am.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:46, Reply)

The bastard on ebay that didn't send my birthday present
and never communicated to my finance when or why it was going to be delivered got her comeuppance yesterday as paypal refunded the money!

I might finally get a b-day pressie 3 weeks late!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Serves her bloody right
What was her excuse?

Well, if the present's coming 3 weeks late, I might as well wish you a Happy Birthday 3 weeks late: Happy Birthday and many felicitations on an another completed annual cycle of not dying.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:54, Reply)

No excuse, not a word

the twat just never sent it, I guess her business went bust as the associated website and phone number were dead, but still 1 email would be all it needed.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Monday sucks
I hate you all. Especially you Al.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Big Kisses!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:57, Reply)

And cuddles?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 10:59, Reply)

and speedboars

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Speedboars and rocketpigs

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:13, Reply)

'mazing

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I wish I had some of them.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:16, Reply)

They cook themselves with the afterburners
and deliver themselves.

All you need worry about is the stuffing and apple sauce.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Now I'm all hungry

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I have roast beef and horseradish sandwiches today.
Nom.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Not a fan of horseradish
I have BBQ chicken sandwiches FTW!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Horseradish is the English gent's version of wasabi.
This alone, makes it awesome.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Your argument
is quite persuasive
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I just felt a thing like a red-hot pinpoint juuuust touching my elbow
I jumped.
There's nothing there.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I'm super fast

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:07, Reply)

It was really odd though
Just the surface, and the tiniest dot, but like a fine needle that's been held over a flame.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:09, Reply)

spider bite
clearly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Oh don't, Vip.
I can't see any marks...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Early onset madness?

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:20, Reply)

This is more likely Sant

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:22, Reply)

That's good. I hate spiders.
I'd have had to distance myself from you, further than I normally do, if I knew you'd been in the same room as a spider.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:24, Reply)

You bastard
how's ting?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Tings good ta.
Did 'The Birthday' this weekend. I was Cronked and out of action all day yesterday, it was ace!

I've also come to realise that some of my 'mates' are really shit, so I've decided to cut them loose and move on. There are better people out there who ARE worth spending my time with.

How's you?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Don't hang out with Roota
she's all about bumming and nothing else.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:30, Reply)

That's why I'm hanging around to be honest.
I've brought my own lard.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:35, Reply)

MMM LARD!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I'm worth spending time with money on
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Right then,
you can be my first victim new friend
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:35, Reply)

As long as I can stroke yuor beard
it's all good
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Ignore Al
i'm sound kid. Went out for my mate's 30th. Dinner was lovely but the aftermath has left me convinced that I am not going out into town 'clubbing' any more.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

To be honest,
I wouldn't want to go clubbing in Liverpool either.

I've given up 'clubbing' too these days. Give me some Jazz, Guinness & pickled eggs any day...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:36, Reply)

*resists urge to strikethrough*
it's not about Liverpool you cunt. It's about all city centres. we have some lovely areas for fine wine and dining. But Reflex/Wetherspoons/Falres/Yates central is hell.
*gets all patriotic*
Shove yer lard!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I hate clubbing
And pubs that play music so loud you can't hear the conversation you are trying to have with your friend about the weather
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I don't mind a good bop occasionally
But not in some branded hell.
If you're in a pub you want to natter, if you're in a club you want to bop.
Don't take me somewhere packed and noisy with nowhere to bop and shit unboppable music, then try to talk to me. Fuck right off.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:46, Reply)

*plays unboppable music*

*talks about the weather*
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:48, Reply)

*swills*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I've only been to Liverpool once
and the first two people I saw were genuinely wearing shell-suits and had curley hair and moustaches.

I also had about £700 worth of Cymbals nicked from my gig by one of the other bands.

I'm sure they was a fancy dress party on and I was just unlucky that night but, y'know... :(

Every city has somewhere nice... The trouble is usually, it's nice because it's not as well known as 'The City Centre' type places and thefore harder to find if you're from out of town.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Someone was very nasty to me in Manchester once.
I still quite like Manchester.

yeah you never see the best places unless you're with a local who knows where to go. Otherwise you end up in Popworld being stared out by scallies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Yeah, I don't live in Manchester any more though,
so you're safe to visit again.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:52, Reply)

*books tickets*
I'm there next week for a gig.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Who you seeing?

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I quite liked Manchester
It was quite a random weekend though but awesome as I ended up in Leeds with Pickleface eating cake and watching the 2008 F1 championship being decided, look how happy Massa's family are and oh oh wait whats this DENIED!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:54, Reply)

That time you were there,
we didn't even go to anywhere particularly good. They were the average 'middle ground' everyone will like them sort of places.

There's probably a bar somewhere that has old morrises for seats and tables made out of dictionarys that you would love.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

ha
I clicked that, you should be proud of yourself
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Excellent.
My work here is done...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Mon 15 Feb 2010, 12:01, Reply)