Oh crap
I accidentally clicked onto the QOTW and read the first post which was a spanky hanky pun. *cries*

I feel so dirty.
this like totally doesn't warrant a whole new thread but I am soooo like not caring
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:03, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Your face is dirty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:12, Reply)

I hate you
sooooooooooooooooooooooo much
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:14, Reply)

I love you
like the sister I never wanted.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:16, Reply)

I am so telling your sister
you don't love her
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Have you not seen my FB picture?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:31, Reply)

erm no
because
a) I never go on facebook
b)even if I did I wouldn't go look at pictures of your grotesque face
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:32, Reply)

It's not my face
I can't be bothered to explain it, just know that I'm flipping you off right now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:36, Reply)

whatever
did you say you were being lame on a stag do this Friday?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Yes, I'll be in Ireland
doing a stag
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:40, Reply)

You are going to miss out
on an awesomes poker night with Evil Pixie and SLovakian Tom
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I love Evil Pixie
Would. But she'd rip my cock off.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Well
she's the only one who could grip it properly in her tiny little pixie hands
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:47, Reply)

True dat
It'd still look like she's trying to skin a grain of rice
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:51, Reply)

You read it
you can't un-read it
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:13, Reply)

I like the way he shouted and put things in bold to express urgency and panic. He even swore a few times, really adding gravitas to the entire situation.
And how it took him a good few paragraphs to make the pun between "Doctor" and "Dock Tour", which are two easerly mistakeable things to say.

And I really do enjoy the inevitable verbal dick sucking that'll come from his post.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Hello 9oNz0
I was blobbing like a cow shits last week. I think I've completely fucked up her best Janet Reger's and the water coming out of the washing machine looked like a bust pipe in a ketchup factory. How's the cock trouble?
(chb3 Read my lips. See my profile. See me talk., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:20, Reply)

These are all things about his post that I, too, admire immensely.
What a great guy!!!11!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:20, Reply)

I don't even own a spanky hanky.

(chb3 Read my lips. See my profile. See me talk., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Well we all have to have something to aspire to
I personally would one day like to meet the girl of my dreams, but then she'll probably phone me up during the Simpsons, and even though it's an episode i've seen many times before I still like to chill out after work to a simpsons episode and I will have to pretend to be happy to hear from her.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:20, Reply)

The Simpsons are dead to me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:22, Reply)

It hasnt been funny since about 2002
but it's still more watchable than anything else on at 6pm
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:24, Reply)

is not the eggheads on then?
I'm floucing with grammar today
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I dont like gameshows
they make me shout rude things at the TV
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:30, Reply)

but when you know something they don't
Vipros levels of smugness are achivable
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:33, Reply)

that is one of the ways I built up my base level of smugness

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Smugheads, the literal translation of eggheads

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:46, Reply)

it has
some of the more recent surreal episodes are great

the best one is still the one where Homer goes to work for the supervillain though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I dont think I know that one
if it hasnt been on Ch4, I wont have seen it
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:31, Reply)

it's an old one
and doesn't get shown often. it's great though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Wrong the best one is the one where Marge joins the police force.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:32, Reply)

wrong the best is where
Homer tries to start a new religion.

Who wears short shorts
I wear short shorts!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:34, Reply)

My vote goes to
the one where Homer achieves "hyper-obesity" so that he can work at home

or

the one where Principal Skinner and Ms Krabappel first get it on
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:42, Reply)

ha and the helper monkey
who becomes as lazy as homer
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:43, Reply)

"Oh, I'm not handicapped, I'm just really lazy!"
Pure class.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:45, Reply)

I like the super hot chilli off episode

Mexican insanity chillis FTW!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Ooh, now that's a good point
The hallucinatory dream sequence in that is amazing.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:45, Reply)

talking of Simpson hallucinatory sequences
I do love the ones in the movie
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I only watched that the other night
was better than I had been led to believe
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I went it with no expectations
and enjoyed it greatly. My friend who had had it hyped up beyond belief was disapointed I "har har"'d him
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:51, Reply)

good job
admittedly I can barely remember the film now, but I think I enjoyed it more than some of the futurama films.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 17:01, Reply)

johnny cash ftw

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:48, Reply)

*ahem* guatemalan insanity peppers

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 17:50, Reply)

Isn't life difficult?
I have a nasty itchy rash at the moment right on my volvo.
(chb3 Read my lips. See my profile. See me talk., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:24, Reply)

good cars them Volvos

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Prone to rashing though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:35, Reply)

But can withstand
a good ramming
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:35, Reply)

They almost have large boots in which your can place falt pack furniture...

this doesn't work at all does it?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Careful now you don’t want to unleash the fiery wrath of the I Heart Spanky Club.
Unless you do… then I’ll shut up! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:36, Reply)

fiery wrath post wank tears
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Ewwww nasty!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Does it count as a club if it's populated solely by his alter-egos?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 23:35, Reply)

at least
it wasn't sex-related
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:45, Reply)

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN
BURNY BURNY BURNY BURNY

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:48, Reply)

may a simple noob ask
what is so offensive about Mr Hanky's posts?

some times they are funny, sometimes not, I suspect many if not all are untrue, but I'm unclear what marks them out from other QOTW submissions for so much praise or hate. Honestly curious why so many otherwise (relatively) levelheaded people seem to get their knickers in a knot of whether they do or do not like the postings of a certain poster.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:48, Reply)

No you may not
fuck off
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:49, Reply)

well this has rather told me
hasn't is now?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Obviously not if you're still here

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:52, Reply)

good point
I guess I am at that.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Don't you fucking dare.

(off is getting pretty fucking sick of all this, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:52, Reply)

they are long, and quite dull as they follow basically the same formula
I don't care if things are made up or not, but being boring is a heinous crime.

(yes TGB, I'm guilty)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:49, Reply)

damned if i know
possibly cause there are just so many of them
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I personally don't have anything against him
apart from the fact now he has a bunch of gawping shitlickers praising his, frankly average, posts he seems to be under the impression he is actually funny.

Us OTers don't like smugfaced twat bags (except Vip because he is actually funny YES that was a fucking compliment revel whilst it's fresh) who post realms and realms of made up crap that makes watching paint dry look exciting.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:55, Reply)

*double takes*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:56, Reply)

He's got a wierd cult of fans.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:54, Reply)

a weird one too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Does anyone else have such a cult?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 23:35, Reply)

I now have TENS machine to take away the pain.
Unfortunately I was told not to attach it to my eyes so it doesn't work on tedious QOTW posts.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 16:54, Reply)

instructions never stopped anybody before,
did they?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 17:22, Reply)

just put him on ignore you buffoon

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 17:53, Reply)

I knew I should have waited to post mine. Fucksticks.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 17 Mar 2010, 18:15, Reply)