so
i just got home as relaxed as a strand of spaghetti after an amazing time in a very swanky spa and have actually achieved the impossible by having too. much. chocolate. how was everyone else's easter then? any gossip anyone??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 20:30, 118 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Not a lot, no.
Went to York on Saturday, went for a walk yesterday (in the pissing rain I might add - hardcore) and am now prepping a beef in chilli/ginger/garlic and lime stir fry.

*EDIT* I tell a lie - I haven't had a cigarette all day. That's pretty good going.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 20:36, Reply)

oh god
thought you said a lame stir fry!

Place the apathetic articles in a wok, uush them around for a few minutes on a high heat, consume as if wanting to eat something else
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 20:39, Reply)

there is no such thing
as too much chocolate shirley?
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 20:40, Reply)

Of course there is
and don't call her Shirley, etc.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 20:44, Reply)

grins
Airplane for the win, i love that fillum!
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Easter was very nice, got massive snotty green kid boogers on my hand though which was well_fucking_gross
and it's hot as balls today *sweats*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 20:51, Reply)

I went to an excellent, excellent wedding in Bucks.
I stayed at an OMG HAUNTED hotel. Haunted by the ghost of a murdered barmais, and also a murdered man. Murder, in West Wycombe, is quite popular, apparently.

So did I, the world's lightest sleeper, wake up to find the ghostly figure of a wronged girl at the end of my bed?

No. Not a fucking bean. Which is not surprising as it's all bollocks. And now I wish my hangover would go away.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:00, Reply)

Did you go to the west wycombe caves?
I used to live just up the road from there
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:11, Reply)

The Hellfire Caves?
Wanted to, but ran out of time. Maybe another day!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:15, Reply)

Ello love
Al ate too much chocolate and is now dealing with theobromine poisoning
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:04, Reply)

What a fucking Mong.
And yes, that's Mong with a capital M.

Hope he makes it through
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:09, Reply)

Well if he will eat that Green and Blacks rubbish...
Hotel Chocolat all the way for me. Their chocolate is an inch thick...Mmm...
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:13, Reply)

Wait, is Al really ill?
Also, Hotel Chocolate FTMFW.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:15, Reply)

What do you care, Tightly?
If you hadn't gone swanning off at the weekend NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!

It's all your fault and you know it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:22, Reply)

I KNO.
Every time I leave him to his own devices, he gets in to all sorts of hilarious escapades.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:38, Reply)

I'm like an internet version of Steve Martin in a "screwball" comedy.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:48, Reply)

LOLWAKI!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Nah, he's got a silly tummy for eating too much

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:31, Reply)

Silly al.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:38, Reply)

Is Al really a labrador?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:39, Reply)

No, I just like sniffing peoples bums.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:48, Reply)

And how!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:51, Reply)

With a straw usually

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Only Chris' though
sadfaces
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:53, Reply)

My arsehole is very fragrant, actually.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:53, Reply)

I met a labrador who eats thongs today. He had one removed from his intestines on Saturday and came bouncing back in today wagging his tail looking so proud of himself.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:53, Reply)

They should call that Dog Sisqo.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:54, Reply)

He should be very short and only have one song

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:57, Reply)

sth
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:02, Reply)

that thong, th, thong, thong, thong

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:07, Reply)

Labradors are always proud of themselves
they should be, they are brilliant dogs. If I get a dog it will be a labrador, but I will need a bigger house first.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:55, Reply)

a labrador, but I will need a bigger house first. dressed as a french maid, and my dream come true.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:57, Reply)

Labrador's are a bit stupid, they eat underwear for example
I'd rather have a Leonburger. They're fucking awesome
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:59, Reply)

look, SEE, BEST DOGS EVAR

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:02, Reply)

DUDE IS THAT REAL?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:02, Reply)

Yep, a vet I worked with had one, they're gorgeous beasties

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:04, Reply)

It's like a cuddly bear
but maybe less likely to kill you
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:05, Reply)

I saw one bite someone's thumb off. He was unconscious at the time though

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:06, Reply)

The dog or the person who's thumb it was?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:06, Reply)

The dog
Silly lady put her hand in his mouth to rearrange the endo tracheal tube and he sighed and bit down.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:08, Reply)

I SAW ONE OF THESE TODAY!
He was just chillin' on the high street.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:02, Reply)

You should've dognapped him and made him your new fail dog

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:04, Reply)

He was a bit big to stuff under my jumper.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:05, Reply)

Bollocks, I've seen how big your jumper is
you tubby cunt
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:06, Reply)

You fucking meanie.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:08, Reply)

I've got a sort tummy
I'm allowed to be mean
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:10, Reply)

To be fair, I am horrendously fat.
YM gives me a biscuit every time I fuck her.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:12, Reply)

FATTIES ONLINE? NO WAI
To tell the truth, I am a terrible fatty myself, I just hide it really well.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:12, Reply)

You hide it under your skinny tummy
and only get it out on special occasions.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:15, Reply)

Damn straight, hardly anyone sees it. I have stealth fatty ninja tactics

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:18, Reply)

I don't eat the biscuits your mum offers me
I give them to your wife as a reward for rimming me
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:13, Reply)

Oh, burn.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:14, Reply)

rn m

+ me with a cactus, I like that sort of thing as I'm a disgusting sexual deviant.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:16, Reply)

Right, the way I see it
the only chance we have of coming second is Man City upsetting United, and yet making loads of mistakes when we play them.

What do you reckon?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:06, Reply)

Oh, footie, is it?
I think we'll turn over Barca tomorrow, and make the Champions League final. As far as the Premiership goes, we've too many injuries to win it... I reckon 2nd is achievable, if we beat the spuds and City. That said, Chelski could still slip up with a couple of awkward games. Hmm. 2nd.

Oh, and Fabregas goes to Barcelona in the summer if we win nothing.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:10, Reply)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:13, Reply)

Go on, then.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Fabregas would stay for boobs
but only if they were attached to some serious silverware.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:14, Reply)

SILVER TRAY BOOOOOOOOBS

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:19, Reply)

Our Tigger rolls around on lace knickers

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:57, Reply)

"Tigger", yeah, right.
Tigger Mum.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:01, Reply)

Tigger boyfriend
on in
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:01, Reply)

Kinky kitty

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:02, Reply)

He puts his paws to his temples and meowls while he does it.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:03, Reply)

Phew, kinkorama

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:05, Reply)

I tried showing him some cotton ones but he ignored them
Yet lace ones he can seek out from the middle of a pile of clean laundry.
Must be the texture.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:07, Reply)

Giz is like that with paper
He doesn't get lace
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:08, Reply)

Tigger is a deviant

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:10, Reply)

hola chica!
my friend bought me one of their caramellow ones last year, i had to smash the fecker with a rolling pin to get into it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:16, Reply)

Mmm...I bet they're good :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:32, Reply)

I got ma dude some HC for easter.
He just informed me he's polished off the rocky road one in the car on his way home.

As is usual at Easter I have not yet eaten any of my chocs or eggs.
I'll probably be contrary and leave it until Mayday.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:29, Reply)

Bloody hell, mine's all gone. I had to go out and buy Milka chocolate today

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:32, Reply)

Fucking love Milka.
Remember Milka Creme?

I dunno what it is about Easter. I just sit there eating savoury stuff ignoring my eggs.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:33, Reply)

Milka creme? no...but I want some
I still want the Terry's chocolate orange eggs they made a few years ago. They were amazing
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:36, Reply)

It was Milka but the centre was soft and truffly.
You can't get it any more :(

I thought my parents would have noticed the return of the Yorkie truck egg this year. I thought they would have resumed the tradition of buying me said truck egg with cardboard truck.
Alas, no.
FUCKING KIT KAT WITH MUG!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:41, Reply)

RUBBISH

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:52, Reply)

That's multitasking for you, right there!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:52, Reply)

ARGH!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:57, Reply)

:)

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:01, Reply)

That's awesome though
you got a kit kat and you got a mug, so that chocolate and tea sorted. The two best things in life. You fucking ungrateful cow.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:54, Reply)

But it would have been so magical.
I saw thw Yorkie truck and thought "Oh man, if my mum's seen that..."
But she hadn't seen it.
I like my Kit Kat with mug, honest I do.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:59, Reply)

I want to see pictures of you enjoying your mug
or I won't believe you.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:01, Reply)

I'll open it and enjoy it tomorrow
For now I'm drinking booze innit
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:02, Reply)

From a mug?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:04, Reply)

No
From a Reebok Classic
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:07, Reply)

Urgh, but you've weeeeeeeee'd in them

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:10, Reply)

I dried it on the radiator first

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:11, Reply)

But it's like homeopathy
your shoes remembers the wee. It's the same way that DiT's doorhandles remember me wiping my cock on them.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:15, Reply)

DiT's doorhandles My fiancee remembers me DIT my his on them her.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:19, Reply)

But it's like homeopathy
your shoes remembers the wee. It's the same way that My fiancee remembers remember DIT wiping his cock her.

Awwww, bless, that's almost like you're trying to insult me by using strikethroughs, but you got them all wrong. Like a massive retard.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:25, Reply)

IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE YOU UTTER UTTER FUCK NUGGET.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:28, Reply)

I got a nice letter from the council
saying that Hull had hit its recycling targets. So everyone in the city (all 250,000 of us) got a full colour chart of why this a good thing.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:25, Reply)

that's it?
no prize?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:31, Reply)

'fraid not

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:41, Reply)

I won two tickets
to see STOMP next week (contest for best april fools prank). The rest of the weekend is two posts below
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:36, Reply)

well something nice
to make up for the shit :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:40, Reply)

I've been sitting here
taking my oxycodone with my broken ankle up, watching videos.

Check this out: EPIC TORTOISE FIGHT! www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZdlGJhPhv4
( Wanderer, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 21:57, Reply)

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMOGMGOMGOGMOGMOGMOGMGOMGOGMOGMOMOGOGMGOMGOMGOGOGMOGOMG
www.hotelchocolat.co.uk/cid/UVP7ERA2VU5VUEZUHQXUO6AFL41721X9/special-offers-CHCSPECIALOFFER/
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:05, Reply)

JESUS

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:11, Reply)

Praise Jeebus

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:13, Reply)

Happy Zombie Jesus

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:26, Reply)

*spaff*

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:13, Reply)

bah
all sold out :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:22, Reply)

i think you can guess why

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:25, Reply)

Jesus bought it all?
Post-Resurrection chocolate craving
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:26, Reply)

well, makes sense
that's why we have chocolate for easter after all
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:28, Reply)

haha reminds me of eddie izzard
the bit about jesus dying for our sins, and us having chocolate because it is the same colour as the cross
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:35, Reply)

"This is Galilee, Judea. Surely the chocolate would melt."

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:38, Reply)

Someone special bought it all for me

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:27, Reply)

I've been a billy no mates
except in this virtual interweb world
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:16, Reply)

i was seriously impressed
by the gym at this spa which had digital resistance machines - not only can you just change the weight by pressing a button, but it tells you how fast/how much range you should have for each rep. this must have worked off.... ooooh...... at least the ears of the chocolate lindt bunny. has anyone else seen these marvels of modern technology and why doesn't my bloody virgin in kensington have them mr branson??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:26, Reply)

It's Bransons way of telling fatties
that they should just go jogging or lift heavy stuff and stop relying on technology and machines.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:28, Reply)

i guess
think what you will about branson, he ain't no fatty.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:30, Reply)

Fucking Richard Branson.
Virgin Galactic can only be a massive, massive disaster that ends in horrid, hot, screaming death. Or a bus replacement service.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:37, Reply)

you have a bloody virgin in kensington?
sounds like serial killer talk to me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 22:29, Reply)

Apart from my cat dying
It wasn't too bad...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 23:04, Reply)

did you
kill it yourself?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 5 Apr 2010, 23:44, Reply)

My Easter was OK
Although I had to miss the Cornwall bash in the end I did manage to order some Solid chocolate Easter eggs which even with customs delays arrived in time from my distant chocolatier relation in the US so I've had fun hitting huge eggs with sledgehammers to knock off edible chunks.

Other than that I had a loverley roast at a friends house yesterday and far too much to drink this evening so all in all just about a good enough weekend to make up for not being able to make it to the (obviously shit as I wasn't there) bash this weekend.
(bill, Tue 6 Apr 2010, 0:16, Reply)